Monthly Archives: May 2013

In celebration of Walt Whitman

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I greet you at the beginning of a great career, which yet must have had a long foreground somewhere, for such a start.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist and poet, in a letter to Walt Whitman, American poet, essayist, and journalist, 21 July 1855

No stars, but red, white, and blue stripes - and classic denim.

No stars, but red, white, and blue stripes – and classic denim.

Who didn’t read Walt Whitman’s poetry when they were in high school? As unsophisticated as I was in high school and despite English teachers “teaching” Whitman as a poet whom they had to interpret for us students, I still appreciated his poetry back then and appreciate it even more now. Precisely because on one level he didn’t need to be interpreted, especially when it came to poems as expansive and full of realism as “Song of Myself,” which was included in Leaves of Grass:

I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

At a time when we read so many poems in archaic language or poems that rhymed or were contained by strict forms – such as iambic pentameter – it was refreshing to read Whitman’s free verse. His boldness appealed to me as a shy teenager. He spoke to all of us and he embraced us all. The poems I most remember him for were the ones that our teacher exposed us to – both about Lincoln: “When Lilacs Last in the Door-yard Bloom’d” and “O Captain! My Captain!”

Today is Whitman’s birthday. Celebrate our great American poet, who was born in 1819 on this day, by reading one of his poems aloud.

Silver accessories include architectural earrings from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA), necklace from Wyler's (Portland, ME), Sundance stack of rings, and double band from In God We Trust (NYC).

Silver accessories include architectural earrings from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA), necklace from Wyler’s (Portland, ME), Sundance stack of rings, and double band from In God We Trust (NYC).

Post script: As I thought about Whitman, my mind started wandering and I asked myself if there wasn’t a fictional high school in a classic television show that bore his name. Walt Whitman High School in Los Angeles was the setting for the famous history classroom – Room 222, a comedy-drama that ran from September 1969 to January 1974. I looked it up on Google and then listened to the television show’s theme song, which took me back to my childhood. I didn’t watch reruns of it; my sisters and I watched it every Friday evening, after The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, and before The Odd Couple and Love, American Style. What a blockbuster line-up. Those were the days. Watching Room 222 back then, that’s what I thought high school was going to be – a thought-provoking place where teachers and the other adults there were passionate about wanting students to make the world a better place once they left. At that time, it made sense that the focus was on an African-American history teacher, played by Lloyd Hanes, supported by an idealistic student teacher (remember Karen Valentine?), the compassionate guidance counselor, and the supportive principal. Not that I can remember too much about the topics covered – and I’m sure many were over my head – but the show grappled with political and human rights issues. That an episode, which aired in 1971, dealt with anti-gay harassment is pretty amazing for its time. We’ve come a long way, and yet we still have a long way to go. But bringing this blog entry back to Whitman the poet and “Song of Myself” seems fitting and comes full circle. Whitman spoke for us all, as we should, too:

Agonies are one of my changes of garments,
I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person,
My hurts turn livid upon me as I lean on a cane and observe.

Happy Birthday, Walt Whitman!

Red, white, and denim, with architectural elements.

Red, white, and denim, with architectural elements.

Vintage love: antique document holder necklace

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She’s a hypnotist collector
You are a walking antique
– Bob Dylan, American musician and singer-songwriter, from She Belongs To Me

The cut-out patterned back of a retro-inspired jacket from D'Jour Floral.

The cut-out patterned back of a retro-inspired jacket from D’Jour Floral.

Across the street from Fat Apple’s Restaurant in El Cerrito is a store called D’Jour Floral (7512 Fairmount Avenue, El Cerrito, 525.7232). I have never gone in the store, though every time I see it I think to myself, I should check it out. A few weeks ago, after Mother’s Day breakfast, I ventured in for only a few minutes. Nobody else in our family wanted to go inside, so I took a quick inventory and made a mental note to return.

The following Sunday, after meeting my Monday Mom’s group for breakfast at Fat Apple’s, I ventured in again and this time I had the luxury of wandering around the shop. As one neighbor described it, there’s a lot of kitsch. It is a confusing store – floral shop, new vintage-inspired clothing, vintage items, and, okay, a lot of kitsch. But for those of us who love a good vintage hunt, I rolled up my sleeves and examined everything on the walls and in the display cases. That’s when I found Vivian.

Antique sterling silver document holder necklace.

Antique sterling silver document holder necklace.

When I asked to see this unusual sterling silver very thin case, the older woman, who was the owner, said, “Oh, you want to see Vivian.” The name was engraved on the piece. It was lightweight in my palm. It was intricate and in incredible shape (save for two dents in the bottom corners), and it looked like it came from the Victorian era. There are no markings and it is unsigned. The owner told me it was made in the 1880s and was used to store documents. She told me it belonged to a woman who had come through Ellis Island and had kept her important papers inside. I had this romantic vision of this woman coming from some Eastern European country and making her way out West. Do I believe the owner of the store? Perhaps it belonged to a relative of the person who had sold it to the owner and told her this story. I do want to believe it. I went home and looked up on the Internet variations “antique sterling silver document holder necklace,” but I didn’t come up with anything that looked like Vivian. I saw vintage filigree sterling silver scroll document holders that were cylindrical-shaped, but not shaped like a flat compact, which I assumed was likely more common.

Like a lighter, the top or cap is on a hinge.

Like a lighter, the top or cap is on a hinge.

The price was too dear for the piece, but the owner told me she was closing down the store because she couldn’t keep using her retirement money to keep it open. She was planning on discounting everything starting the following week. So I returned the following week, we bargained, and now Vivian is home with me. I continue to search on the Internet, but if any of my vintage-loving friends come across the history of the document holder that looks like Vivian, please share!

My I Love Lucy look: retro jacket on the clearance rack at D'Jour Floral.

My I Love Lucy look: retro jacket on the clearance rack at D’Jour Floral and slim trousers.

Oh, the treasures you’ll find when you least look for it. But you have to be open to opportunities and allow your curiosity to take you to those places you keep telling yourself you don’t have time to seek out. The shop is scheduled to close mid-June. I will go back to get some chandelier crystal pieces that the owner removed from a vintage chandelier. I am intrigued by a WWII Japanese gas mask that is hanging from a rack. It is fascinating, and yes, haunting and dark. So, I ask: How do you style that, or display that? David just merely asks: Why? Indeed!

Mixing vintage, retro-inspired, and contemporary: earrings from a trip to Boston, Anthropologie etched clear bangle, and my mother's ring given to her by her parents.

Mixing vintage, retro-inspired, and contemporary: earrings from a trip to Boston, Anthropologie etched clear bangle, and my mother’s ring given to her by her parents.

Red trousers are a shoo-in to pair with this cut-out jacket, while keeping the accessories clean and simple.

Red trousers are a shoo-in to pair with this cut-out jacket, while keeping the accessories clean and simple.

Tana Hakanson: The Artist’s journey home (Part II)

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
– Maria Robinson, American writer

Tana working on a painting of a figure in her home studio.

Tana working on a painting of a figure in her home studio.

Abstract painting: The Balancing act
Abstract painting is much more difficult than many people may imagine, according to artist Tana Hakanson. Balance, composition, color, and contrast are as equally important in non-representational art as they are in representational art. “I’m learning to let go of thinking about what I’m doing too much and let the painting process evolve naturally, while at the same time evaluating the piece along the way for all of the elements that make a painting work,” she said. “It’s a balancing act between letting it happen and making it happen.” Artists can plan out the process when working on a representational piece of art, such as a painting of a still life, because they have a preconceived notion of the end product. In abstract painting, however, the work evolves as you go along, according to Tana.

Sketch of a dancer.

Tana’s sketch of a dancer.

“Each painting seems to takes on a life of its own, so trying to get the materials to do the same thing that they did the day before is futile,” she said. Her best paintings have “seemed to come easily and happen by themselves.” The director of her graduate program’s art department painted while watching television to distract him from the act of painting so his art would just “come out.” While Tana appreciates his theory, she prefers to be more engaged in the moment. “I wouldn’t want to miss anything!” she said. Being in the moment happens away from the canvas, as well. Sometimes she’ll wake up in the middle of the night or be walking outdoors and “get colors in my head.” When those moments come to her, she says, with a big smile, “I get inspired. And that’s the magic of it.”

Art and nature
Not surprisingly, Tana is inspired by nature and glazed pottery, specifically textures that occur through natural processes such as geologic formations and colors in rocks, which make the end product unpredictable and unique. Last year she experimented with paint flowing vertically. This year she is playing with organic shapes, as well as letting paint flow around the canvas, with her only manipulation being the choice of colors and size of the canvas, then working with what comes out of it. With each painting changing as it dries, Tana says she never knows what the outcome will be. “I would like to think that my paintings are like nature at work and I’m participating in the play of nature,” she said.

Tana's painting from her series of wood paintings.

Tana’s painting from her series of wood paintings.

Tana is fascinated by quantum physics, fractals, and how nature creates “incredible, beautiful things.” She’s also interested in chaos theory and how nature is predictable in its unpredictability. “Perhaps since we are nature ourselves, we are drawn to nature’s aesthetic, which, though it has patterns, also always has something different thrown in which creates vibrancy,” she said. The works of artists who inspire her share similar themes. San Francisco artist Saundra MacPherson, whose work of layers upon layers of texture is informed by geology, invited Tana to her studio six years ago when Tana saw her work online and wrote her a letter of appreciation. She credits MacPherson with encouraging her to keep going and keep experimenting with her art. Local artist Stephen Bruce, who works with acid on metal, which creates forms via natural processes, is another source of inspiration.

Tana captures the fluidity of dancers in her sketches.

Tana captures the fluidity of dancers in her sketches.

Doing what you love: Tana as inspiration
A philosophical person at heart, Tana has experienced “a lot of existential angst” in her 46 years. Finding daily tasks “often dull and boring,” and “modern life to be sometimes disjointed and vapid,” she has always been on a quest to get deeper into the “essence of things,” which is why she was drawn to art early on and why it was inevitable that she returned to painting. “I’m not sure what it all means, but I have learned that life is short,” she said. “If you’re cutting yourself off from the things that you love and that have meaning to you, you’re not helping the world. So do what you love – even if it’s carving out a bit of time for it initially. Make it work somehow, no matter where you are in your life.”

Tana Hakanson will show her new work at this year’s East Bay Open Studio, sponsored by Pro Arts the first two weekends in June (1-2 and 8-9), from 11am to 6pm, at her home at 1633 Mariposa Street, Richmond, CA 94804. You can also see her work at Tana Hakanson Studio. Support the arts! Let Tana know that you read about her work here.

Editor’s note: Part I of Tana Hakanson: The Artist’s Journey Home was published here on Friday, May 24.

Tana Hakanson: The Artist’s journey home (Part I)

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The object isn’t to make art, it’s to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable.  – Robert Henri, American painter and teacher

Preface
I’ve known Tana Hakanson going on eight years this autumn, when our first-born sons entered kindergarten. Thus began years of volunteering at our children’s elementary school and seemingly endless, idyllic afternoons on the playground, our homes and other friends’ homes, and at various child-centered venues for playdates – while we worked outside of the home full-time. As we got to know one another, we developed a special kinship centered in the arts: Tana is an artist, a painter, and I am a fiction writer. Our bond was deepened by our love of paint and words, respectively, and the shared frustration of not having the time or energy to explore our craft and nourish our souls. Through the years, we commiserated with one another, offered encouraging words, and congratulated the incremental victories of finishing a painting and completing a revision of the novel.

Two-thousand thirteen promises to be an important year for the both of us, as we dive deep and make headway into living our creative lives: My novel, after a 16-year journey, will finally be completed later this year, and Tana, who launched her art studio website earlier this year, is preparing for her second open studio.

Tana Hakanson works on a painting at her home studio in the Richmond Annex.

Tana Hakanson works on a painting at her home studio in the Richmond Annex.

The Artist emerges
This time, last year Tana Hakanson reluctantly signed up to participate in Pro Arts’ East Bay Open Studio last June, at the urging of her husband Mauricio Monsalve. She had returned to painting a year and a half ago, when Mauricio suggested that she reduce her hours as a systems specialist for an adventure travel company to four days a week. But at the time, she felt she didn’t have enough work to present, even though her free Fridays allowed her the block of time she needed to paint. Mauricio knew she was ready, but just needed a push. By the end of the open studio, she had sold 21 paintings and was overwhelmed by the enthusiastic response to her work. As Tana sets up for her second open studio next month, she is better prepared with more work to show and more inspired. More importantly, she has grown so much as an artist.

Tana as a child and budding artist.

Tana as a child and budding artist.

Artistic beginnings, hiatus, and return
As a child, Tana loved to draw. When she went to college, however, she studied music under scholarship. She switched majors and graduated with a degree in English and a minor in music, although she managed to take a lot of drawing and painting classes. When she went on an overseas study program in Indonesia, she fell in love with the local art and was inspired by the colors and how art is part of everyday life in Bali. She studied traditional Balinese art and stayed on after the program ended, painting and selling her work to individual art patrons and in a local art gallery in Bali.

After graduation, Tana tried her hand at commercial art, attempting to combine her love of art with earning a living. She did illustrations of books on dogs and cats. “It was really fun, but I realized it wasn’t exactly what I was trying to get out of art,” she recalled. For Tana, art is “personal and spiritual.” She applied to graduate school, hoping to explore that aspect of art. Most of the programs out there, according to Tana, were more conceptual, socially driven, and intellectual, and not focused on the spiritual or philosophical experience of art. The arts and consciousness program at John F. Kennedy University in Berkeley stressed the process of art over art itself and the transformative aspects of art making. Many graduates of the program become art therapists; but Hakanson said, “I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it [the degree], but I knew it was what I wanted to study.”

Getting her masters jump-started her to develop her art further. When she gave birth to her son Marcelo in 2000 and then her son Mateo in 2003, however, Hakanson focused on motherhood, which she describes as a “deep and ongoing experience.” Although she continued sketching – taking her sketchbooks on family road trips – she stopped painting altogether. Working at Wilderness Travel (1102 9th Street, Berkeley, 94710, 800.368.2794) and taking care of her sons after school didn’t leave any time, especially big blocks of time, for painting.

Tana and her family on a recent trip.

Tana and her family on a recent trip.

She carved out a little time to take up dance, specifically flamenco, which was a different medium for releasing her creativity. “I love the body and I love movement,” she said. “Movement is a way to connect to nature and that energy of life, and it’s transformative in the same way art is.” When her Fridays were freed up, she contemplated dropping flamenco to focus completely on painting. But the movement aspect of dance and dance’s ability to fuel her art and give her energy were important enough to keep both going. “For me, a big aspect of my work is movement,” she said.

Tana's sketch of a dancer.

Tana’s sketch of a dancer.

Abstract painting: Freedom to experiment
Tana is devoting the next two years to developing her painting, and then marketing her work. For now, with Fridays as her only day for painting, she has just enough pieces for next month’s open studio. Tana feels that she’s learned so much in the last year in terms of working with the materials. “The more I paint, the more I understand how to use the material for what I want to do,” she said. One of her many goals this year is to work with disparity in the tones to create more contrast, which creates depth. “I tend to avoid contrast, because this kind of boldness doesn’t come naturally to me – in painting or in real life,” she explained. “But just like in any aspect of life, you have to face it and keep trying if you want to grow. I have a vision of where I want my art to be, but it’s not something I can really pinpoint.”

An abstract painting from Tana's series of water paintings.

An abstract painting from Tana’s series of water paintings.

Experimenting with “liquidy” paint gives her the sense of movement that she is seeking, in both the process itself and the work. “As the paint settles, you can see the energy and flow of movement,” she said. “For me, it’s about freedom to try new things, seeing where it takes me, the unexpected, and surprises along the way,” she said. “The process is the thing for me – then something interesting comes out of it that eventually becomes a painting. Sometimes it just happens naturally – like magic. Sometimes it involves some working and struggling along the way. Mostly it’s some of both, and that interplay makes it compelling.”

Tana Hakanson will show her new work at this year’s East Bay Open Studio, sponsored by Pro Arts the first two weekends in June (1-2 and 8-9), from 11am to 6pm, at her home at 1633 Mariposa Street, Richmond, CA 94804. You can also see her work at Tana Hakanson Studio. Support the arts! Let Tana know that you read about her work here.

Editor’s Note: Part II of Tana Hakanson: The Artist’s Journey Home will be posted on Monday, May 27.

The artist's studio.

A painting dries at the artist’s studio.

Save your brain: Take a power nap

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Nature has not intended mankind to work from eight in the morning until midnight without that refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it only lasts twenty minutes, is sufficient to renew all the vital forces.
– Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister of the U.K.

Mix stripes and prints when both pieces have bursts of the same bold colors and both fabrics are similar - in this case, shiny.

Mix stripes and prints when both pieces have bursts of the same bold colors and both fabrics are similar – in this case, shiny.

After graduating from UC Davis back in 1985, I remained at Davis and spent the following year working full-time at the School of Law’s library to save money and apply to volunteer organizations. I was bored to tears collecting, shelving, and cataloging books, and replacing old book spine labels with new ones. Boredom made me drowsy and I often fought back yawns by midday. A co-worker friend and I discovered a small room connected to the rarely used downstairs bathroom. It had a single piece of furniture in the middle – a thick-padded elevated, armless chaise lounge. We dubbed it the PMS lounge. I used it for my daily lunchtime naps, despite the fact that the room had a musty smell and the walls were painted an institutional green that reminded me of a state hospital from the 1950s. Every day, my co-worker friend dutifully came downstairs to wake me up after 30 minutes.

I’m reminded of this long-ago ritual because since last year I have indulged in power naps, formerly called cat naps. My acupuncturist recommended naps, especially for sleep-deprived people like me. While my workload has gone from insane to manageable, business trips and deadlines seem to occur at the same times, hence a deadly cocktail of late nights and stress.

Continue the shine factor with pumps and gold jewelry (End of Century, NYC, cicada ring, earrings from Anthropologie, and cuff by Alkemie, Los Angeles.

Continue the shine factor with pumps and gold jewelry (End of Century, NYC, cicada ring; earrings from Anthropologie; and cuff by Alkemie, Los Angeles).

At first, I fought it. Napping took away valuable time from work. But when I couldn’t put together two cogent sentences, I began spinning my proverbial wheels. I gave in to the siren and found that when I woke up, I was – albeit groggy at first – better able to tackle writing that white paper and get things done and do them well instead of operating in a fog, redoing and rewriting, and taking twice as long to get anything done.

Bold earrings means you should keep the neckline spare.

Bold earrings means you should keep the neckline spare.

Articles say ideal naps last between 10 to 20 or 30 minutes and should be taken no later than midday. Longer naps make you more tired and naps late in the day may interfere with your quality of sleep at night. Everybody is different. I have found that I don’t naturally sleep for 30 minutes and then wake up, but I didn’t want to set an alarm – unless I had to – because in the back of my head I would wonder when that alarm was going to go off. I nap during my lunch break but will acquiesce to an earlier time when I’m really struggling to get words down. I’ve even broken the rule and taken a nap at 5PM after picking up my kids from some extracurricular activity. There is no way I can make dinner in this state. My kids tell me it’s okay to have a late dinner and off I go to nap. And when I wake up, I cook dinner that would have taken me twice as long had I not slept.

Another take on the striped blouse: A flowing maize-colored skirt makes the outfit more casual and summery.

Another take on the striped blouse: A flowing maize-colored skirt makes the outfit more casual and summery.

Napping allows me to be more productive later in the afternoon when my energy usually wanes. In the last year or two, I have witnessed – with great sadness – the decline of my energy level (along with my memory, which I believe is connected to my energy level). Getting settled back into a work routine of no travel in the near term, reaching a point in my job where I’m appropriately delegating work and managing the workflow, and eating healthful meals on a regular schedule will help me regain my energy level and reclaim my sleep.

That said, while I didn’t take a nap yesterday, though I was tired, naps will remain a necessary tool that will help me reach the coveted restful state. Now if I can get to bed by 11PM and not worry about projects and deadlines, which is a goal my acupuncturist heartily approves of, I would be ecstatic.

Go bold with chunky colorful bangles.

Go bold with chunky colorful bangles (Anthropologie) and sea glass earrings by Carmela Rose. Necklace from the Brooklyn Flea Market, rings from Sundance and In God We Trust.

I used to make fun of my years of sleep deprivation and even tout my ability to be fine after a marathon 48 hours straight working on a project. But it’s no laughing matter. Your brain chemistry is altered when you are deprived of sleep for prolonged periods of time. I’m very aware of this. Sometimes choices have to be made. I skipped my son’s baseball game last Sunday because leaving the house at 6:30AM for a second weekend morning in a row was too exhausting. I didn’t sleep in, but I lounged just a bit. I went to my mom’s group’s monthly breakfast and had a leisurely breakfast. Later, my daughter and I had a leisurely lunch on our balcony.

It’s so hard not to feel guilty about taking it easy in this crazy workaholic environment. But I have to consciously remind myself: If I can’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of my family or my friends. Power naps, I’ve discovered, have helped empower me. And knowing that Leonardo di Vinci, Thomas Edison, and Albert Einstein were advocates of naps puts me in great company.

Platform sandals complete the summery outfit.

Platform sandals complete the summery outfit.

The Vacation that wasn’t

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It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
– Confucius, Chinese teacher, politician, and philosopher

Another bold outfit for a Monday. Retro-inspired Talbots dress and Kate Spade handbag.

Another bold outfit for a Monday. Retro-inspired Talbots dress and Kate Spade handbag.

I was supposed to take this week off for vacation, which I was going to use to work on the final revision of my novel – the novel that I started back in 1997. Coupled with a three-day weekend, I had high hopes that I would indeed finish my novel, and then have to figure out how to carve out the time to consider my next steps – research online publishing and social media marketing, and then actually execute on publishing and marketing. I believe that’s two separate jobs, in addition to my blogging, which is a part-time job and takes up my weekends and free time when I’m not doing everything else that I need to be doing to have a functioning home and world and happy family, and then there’s my day-time job.

As fate would have it, I found out that I didn’t have the hours to take this week off. My first reaction was of outrage and then defeat. How could I finish my novel when I have to rely on the two weeks of vacation allotted to me on a yearly basis? (My third week is actually used for doing something with my family.) And beyond finishing my novel this year, and online publishing and marketing it, how on earth can I find the big blocks of time to return to my second novel, which I had begun in 2006 and requires a lot of research?

Go for the jugular with blood-red carnelian earrings and necklace by Carmela Rose and Juicy Couture ring.

Go for the jugular with blood-red carnelian earrings and necklace by Carmela Rose and Juicy Couture ring.

The more questions I encountered, the more frustrated and helpless I began to feel. As the days passed since learning of my fate, I realized it was just as well. A few projects are due around this time, and there is no escaping having to work on them this week, so my “week off” would have been compromised.

Of late, my “free” time has been reserved for fixing image issues with my blog and limping along as I build a Facebook fan page for my blog. The former has been time and labor intensive, the latter I’m still trying to figure it out. Stay tuned.

Slip on statement sunglasses and I'm ready for Monday, come what may.

Slip on statement sunglasses and I’m ready for Monday, come what may.

Despite coming into this week, which has shaped up to be quite different from what I had planned a few weeks ago, I tell myself: There’s nothing I can do for the time being, but I will get there. I will get to my destination and be made stronger for the detour in my journey. I will finish my novel and I will be happy with it. The technical issues for the blog will be resolved. The fan page will be populated with images and content, though it may not look pretty in the first iteration. But everything will happen because this time I won’t stop. Sometimes it’s okay to push the timeline, the deadline. I may die a little inside because things are delayed once more. But it’s a gnat hovering in my face. Nobody is going to die or get hurt for yet another delay.

So long as I don’t go backwards, everything will be okay. It’s Monday, the beginning of a new week. The beginning, the beginning.