Brave the weather: shop Small Business Saturday

When you shop small, it can lead to big things.
– Small Business Saturday tagline

Having a navy moment: eyelash sweater, vegan pencil skirt, and gray booties.

Having a navy moment: eyelash sweater, vegan pencil skirt, and gray booties.

In 2010, American Express created the Small Business Saturday to encourage people to support the small businesses in their community. Okay, yes, its roots are not completely altruistic, but I’ll give Am Ex props for rewarding small businesses and customers who shop local and small.

If you have an Am Ex card, you can register it here and when you spend $10 at a store you get a $10 credit on your next monthly statement. You can get up to $30 in credit. More importantly, you support your local entrepreneurs and your community, which is the message I want to highlight.

Be a neighborhood champion. Take a break from decking the halls and brave the weather in your area, run into your neighbors, and catch up with your local women entrepreneurs. For those of you local to the East Bay Area, here are a few of my favorite small shops:

Jenny K carries a wide variety of jewelry designers.

Jenny K (6921 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.5350)carries a wide variety of jewelry designers.

Purple walls provide a vibrant backdrop to highlight the luxurious clothing and accessories.

Purple walls provide a vibrant backdrop to highlight the luxurious clothing and accessories at Personal Pizazz (3048 College Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94705, 510.420.0704).

Lava 9 jewelry to drool over.

Lava 9 (1797 Solano Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94707, 510.528.5336) jewelry to drool over.

A colorful storefront display greets visitors to Gorgeous and Green.

A colorful storefront display greets visitors to Gorgeous and Green (2946 College Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94705, 510.665.7974).

Vintage crystal against a cozy and soft eyelash sweater (H&M).

Vintage crystal against a cozy and soft eyelash sweater (H&M).

Reclaimed vintage chandelier necklace (End of Century, NYC), crystal drop earrings, statement ring, Tribe Hill sterling silver bracelet (Se Vende Imports, Portland, ME), and Rachel Comey booties.

Reclaimed vintage chandelier necklace (End of Century, NYC), crystal drop earrings, statement ring, Tribe Hill sterling silver bracelet (Se Vende Imports, Portland, ME), and Rachel Comey booties.

 

 

 

On being thankful: flying kites, riding bikes, dancing, planting trees, and drawing

Growing up in Cincinnati, Ohio, I drew and drew and drew and drew. Drawing was my way of making things exist which didn’t exist. And writing became a way to have my drawings interact.
– Jon J Muth, American children’s author and illustrator

The cover of Jon J Muth's book, The Three Questions.

The lovely cover of Jon J Muth’s book The Three Questions.

After my son, Jacob, had shown me one of  his children’s book, The Three Questions, based on a story by Leo Tolstoy, this past weekend, as is usually the case when I am moved, I dropped what I was doing and went to the source of the book’s inspiration and went on a quest to learn more about the author, Jon J Muth. I’d forgotten, until I reread this book and Zen Shorts, another one of his books that we have, that I was dubbed the class artist throughout elementary school and had dreamed of becoming a children’s book author and illustrator when I grew up. To some extent, I still harbor those fantasies. Until then, I’ll live vicariously off of other children’s authors and illustrators whom I admire. What I learned about Muth came at a fortuitous time. Thanksgiving dinner preparation and stress aside, this is a time that, in my heart and mind, I give official thanks – as opposed to the spontaneous thanksgivings that occur often throughout the year.

I love learning about artists, whether they be visual, performing, or written word. Knowing their backstory creates a deeper appreciation and connection for me to them. Muth, who started out as an American comic book artist before becoming an award-winning children’s book writer and illustrator, was primarily raised by his great- grandmother, who was in her 70s when he was a child. His parents were pursuing their careers as teachers and he routinely woke up after they had already left the house. (His mother, an art teacher, took him to museums all over the country.) His great- grandmother walked him to school a mile away and walked him home afterwards. They walked the three miles to the grocery store together. He only had one hour in the evenings with his parents. These experiences shaped his imagination, which you can see in his work, especially when you hear him talk about his memories as a child. He found an outlet for those memories and childhood imagination – lucky for us. In one story, he thought if he could ride his tricycle as fast as he could around the cherry tree in his backyard, he could lift himself up and float around the top of the tree. In the second story, the one time that his great-grandmother couldn’t pick him up from school a leaf followed him home. These whimsical stories made me miss those years when my kids told equally magical stories to help them make sense of the world around them, to empower them in a world that is at once enormous, scary, enchanting, and full of possibilities. After all, that’s what stories do. That’s why storytellers exist.

Jon J Muth, 2011, photo by Stuart Ramson.

Jon J Muth, 2011, photo by Stuart Ramson.

The Birth of the writer and artist
In an interview, Muth discussed his evolution from creating comic books to writing and illustrating children’s books, saying, “A sense of joy is what moved me from comic books to picture books. My work in children’s books grew out of a desire to explore what I was feeling as a new father.” Not unlike many of us, Muth said he was “poorly prepared to be a father” and “overwhelmed,” but that he underwent a “personal, spiritual experience.” He noted, “I felt completely responsible for this little being. As his custodian, I wanted to make the world a better place.” Muth acknowledged that this act is somewhat universal, but how he handled it as an artist was not.

“Growing up as an artist, it’s a selfish profession. Your job description is you, you, you. It’s the sense of how the world works and suddenly it’s not about me. It’s about someone else, and by extension it’s about everyone else. That was my experience of it,” he said. For 20 years, through his work in comic books, Muth explored the theme of young man and adult full of angst about the absurdities of life but without the sense of responsibility to address those absurdities. Then Muth read the Tolstoy story that Vietnamese monk Thich Nat Hanh retold in one of his books. “When I read it in his book, it just was like this little deep-laid dynamite charge going off, and I thought, I want to give this to my son. I want to give this to children. But they can’t have to wait to understand Czarist Russia to be able to work with it. That’s how that story [The Three Questions] started for me,” he said. “That was a kind of major turning point where I thought I’d be able to explore the things that are really important to me now in this medium and I’m really amazed and happy that the children’s book world has had room for me.”

A scene from Zen Shorts by Jon J Muth.

A scene from Zen Shorts by Jon J Muth, which reminds me of his childhood story about rising above the cherry tree.

Wisdom at any age
Muth tackled his book’s weighty subject matter without reservation. “I think children are intuitively capable of grasping wisdom as readily as adults are,” he said. “There’s the kind of practical wisdom that we encounter every day that children need to know about. They need to know that …. if you put your hand on a hot stove you’re going to be burned. They need to figure out how the world works, so they look to us to know how that works. It’s very important for us to impart this practical wisdom. I also think that we have an opportunity to offer up what I call ‘prudential’ wisdom – it’s a sense of your relationship to those things that you can’t change, and sometimes it manifests as a spiritual wisdom or a spiritual teaching. Zen Shorts seemed like a perfect place to offer these stories.

“It’s very important to me not to offer something that’s going to inoculate them from their own experience,” Muth went on. “I want children to recognize that what they’re actually going through is valuable. Their experience of something is important to the way they’re going to look at the world. It would not work if the stories were more didactic. They need to be offered in such a way that kids can take them or leave them, and perhaps if they don’t understand something, return to it.”

I feel that returning to the story again and again is something quite important for children. So does Muth. “I’ve actually had that happen a bunch where kids will maybe come to the story first of all just because it’s a giant panda, but then return to it because it’s created a kind of itch in their mind and they can’t quite understand it or it actually, it flies in the face of what they think,” Muth related. “By returning to it and considering it and mulling it over, they have a chance to come to a new understanding of how things are.”

Muth’s prayer
One of the loveliest things you will find on a webpage about him is a link to a prayer. Muth’s watercolor shows two children – a blond-haired girl and a dark-skinned boy – sitting against a backdrop of an ethereal world of oceans and wispy clouds. They are cutting out a string of connected paper dolls from one end of the canvas to the other. And scattered about the canvas is this prayer:
i am the son of a mother who’s lighting a candle beneath a photograph of a new york city firehouse
i am the daughter of a man who hijacked a plane in the name of allah
i am the palestinian boy whose father was killed by israeli gunfire.
i am the soldier who shot him.
i am the jewish girl whose brother was killed by a palestinaian while eating pizza in a mall.
i am the father in America who must protect this great country and this great way of life.
i am the daughter who jumped from the burning world trade center holding my friend’s hand.
i am the orphaned afghani boy who lives in a refugee camp.
i am the woman who led the preschoolers away from fire and falling buildings.
i am the firefighter who saved your wife.
these are the ten thousand reasons to kiss your parents each day, to kiss your children, to hold dear the one you are with.
you are the ocean and each of its waves.
when i reach out to touch your face i touch my own.

To fully appreciate this wonderful prayer and watercolor, please go to the link on this blog. This condensed version is just to whet your appetite and seek it out.

To fully appreciate this wonderful prayer and watercolor, please go to the link on this blog. This condensed version is just to whet your appetite and seek it out.

What it means to be alive
In variations on a theme, he has listed in various interviews through the years his favorite things to do – flying kites, riding bikes, dancing, and planting trees with his wife and four children. In his biography, he offers: “He is astonished at his good fortune.” It’s a stunningly humble assertion. He obviously worked hard all those years and works very hard now at what he does. He’s grateful to be able to do what he loves for a living, for the better part of his day. It’s not really good fortune, although he does point to coming into situations that have opened up windows and doors for him, but what’s wonderful is the sense of feeling lucky and the acknowledgement of astonishment. To be astonished is to be vibrantly alive.Therefore, one can happily be thankful for being able to do all those wonderful things with one’s family and to be continually astonished. As an artist, Muth says, “When I am painting in the right state of mind, my hand disappears, the brush disappears, the paint stops being paint, and all that exists is the thing that’s becoming. I am all of those things at one time.” This is living fully in the moment and being awash in awe.

And the other wonderful thing about Muth? He planted a tree, had a child, and wrote a book. My spiritual connection. Many thanks on this day of thanks.

Tolstoy’s three questions: a timeless parable

The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth.
– Leo Tolstoy, from Sevastopol in May, 1855

Leo Tolstoy, photograph by Sergey Prokudin-Gorsky, 1908.

Leo Tolstoy, a wonderful and rare color photograph by Sergey Prokudin-Gorsky, 1908.

One of the chores my kids have to finish before David’s family descends upon our home for Thanksgiving is to clean their rooms, particularly clearing off their floors so that their cousins have a place to set up their air beds. While cleaning his room over the weekend, my son, Jacob, brought to me a children’s book that we used to read when the kids were much younger: “Remember this book, Mom?” he said with a smile. My face lit up! We read this picture book every evening during one magical stretch of time. We three loved it – for its beautiful watercolor illustrations and its big-hearted message, which was intuitively grasped by my kids, evidenced by the wonder in their eyes and their requests to have it read again and again.

The Three Questions, based on a story by Leo Tolstoy, was written and illustrated by Jon J Muth and published in 2002. The children’s book took its cue from a short story Tolstoy published in 1885 as part of his collection What Men Live By, and other tales. Tolstoy’s parable involves a king who believed that if he knew the answers to three questions he would be successful at anything he attempted. His questions were: When is the right time to do the right thing, or when is the best time to do each thing? Who are the people I most need, and to whom, therefore, should I pay more attention to than the rest, or who are the most important people to work with? What affairs are the most important and need my attention first, or what is the most important thing to do at all times?

Tolstoy’s king announces a reward to anyone who can come up with the right answers, but he is besieged by myriad responses from learned men across his kingdom. Confused and dissatisfied, the king seeks out a hermit who is known for his wisdom. Because the hermit only sees common folk and never leaves the woods, the king dresses as a peasant and leaves his bodyguard and horse at a certain point in the woods on his journey to the hermit’s dwelling. He finds the frail hermit digging in his yard. The king poses his questions, but the hermit keeps digging. Finally, the king realizes that the hermit is exhausted from digging and offers to dig for the hermit. The king digs two beds and again poses the questions to the hermit. The hermit merely responds by telling the king to take a break. The king refuses and keeps digging until the sun begins to set. Irritated, the king sets down the spade and declares that if the hermit is not going to respond the king will return home.

At that moment, the hermit spies a man running toward them who is bleeding heavily from a stomach wound. The king tends to the man, stanching the flow of blood, until his situation stabilizes after several hours. Exhausted and with night descending, the king falls asleep in the hermit’s home. In the morning, the wounded man admits to the king that he knows the king’s identity and in fact was on a mission to assassinate him, laying in wait for his return to the woods, because the king had his brother executed and his property confiscated. After impatiently waiting and no sign of the king, the man had come out from hiding, only to be attacked by the king’s bodyguard. The man was able to run away, but was bleeding to death. Now with his life having been saved, the man swears his and his sons’ allegiance to the king.

Painting of Leo Tolstoy by Ilya Repin, 1891.

Painting of Leo Tolstoy by Ilya Repin, 1891.

Shocked, the king is nevertheless relieved to have made a friend out of an enemy and pledges to have his physician look after the man. He then seeks out the hermit, who is sowing seeds in the plowed beds, and again poses his questions, requesting answers for the last time. The hermit replies that the king’s questions have already been answered: If the king hadn’t helped the hermit dig the soil, he would have gone back into the woods and been killed by his assassin. “So the most important time was when you were digging the beds; and I was the most important man; and to do me good was your most important business,” the hermit responds.

“Afterwards when that man ran to us, the most important time was when you were attending to him, for if you had not bound up his wounds he would have died without having made peace with you. So he was the most important man, and what you did for him was your most important business,” the hermit goes on.

“Remember then: there is only one time that is important – Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with any one else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life,” the hermit concludes.

Close-up of painting of Leo Tolstoy by Ilya Repin, 1901.

Close-up of painting of Leo Tolstoy by Ilya Repin, 1901.

Jon Muth’s beautifully illustrated tale posed these questions: When is the best time to do things? Who is the most important one? What is the right thing to do? The protagonist, the king, is recast as a boy named Nikolai, who hangs out with three friends, all of whom have distinct personalities  – a heron named Sonya, a dog named Pushkin, and a monkey named Gogol, who was a memorable character for Jacob because he was playful and carefree. The three friends try to help Nikolai come up with answers, answers that matched their animal personalities. Nikolai decides to seek counsel from Leo, the wise old turtle who lives in the mountains. Instead of an assassin, as in Tolstoy’s tale, Nikolai attends to a momma panda whose leg is injured when a fierce storm fells nearby trees, and later rescues her baby, who was lost in the forest.

Muth once said, “I think children are intuitively capable of grasping wisdom as readily as adults are.” So true. He effortlessly combined his studies of Zen with his ode to Tolstoy to bring to children the importance of compassion and living in the moment. Leo the old turtle tells Nikolai: “Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side. For these, my dear boy, are the answers to what is most important in this world. This is why we are here.”

After Jacob let me borrow his book, I researched the Tolstoy story and reread Muth’s book. The wonder returned. The deeper story resonated deep within me, just as it did for me and Jacob and Isabella: That’s why we are here.

Drowning in emails

No late messages: It is proper netiquette to send messages within an appropriate timeframe.
– David Chiles, internet guru and author, from The Principles of Netiquette

It's still mild weather in northern California heading into mid-November. I'm having a neutral palette moment with a feminine pleated sheer blouse and faux leather pencil skirt.

Northern California weather is still mild heading into mid-November. I’m having a neutral palette moment with a feminine pleated sheer blouse and faux leather pencil skirt.

I used to be good about responding to email messages within the day and keeping my inbox tight and tidy. I’d spend at least once a week deleting old messages and expired e-tail advertisements, responding to messages that required more than a few minutes of time, and moving other emails to one of 59 folders I’ve created as both a cleaning-house mechanism and a way to save important or interesting information of which more than two-thirds I’ll never read. My goal after the purge was to have no more than 50 e-mails left in my inbox that were still timely, needed action, or needed more thought for a response.

This system worked well for many years – even as I started getting more emails and I got busier with work and life in general. I realized that I needed to add to my purging strategy. So I unsubscribed from daily e-newsletters I was receiving. If I wasn’t going to read them within the next couple of days, I wasn’t going to read them period. This exercise in unsubscribing also removed the slight anxiety I experienced when the daily e-newsletters piled up and I felt like the mythical Sisyphus. Why bother encouraging carpal tunnel syndrome with the finger constantly hitting the delete button? Interestingly enough, I didn’t miss those e-newsletters (okay, it’s because I’m too busy to remember I used to get them and read them every day). I delete the political and charitable solicitations – well, most of them.

When your blouse has all the details, your accessories should be few and subtle: Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA) and statement ring (Lava 9, Berkeley, CA).

When your blouse has all the details, you only need a few accessories: Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA) and statement ring (Lava 9, Berkeley, CA).

Next up was deleting forwarded articles or videos from family and friends that I knew – even if I wanted to read/see them – would just sit in my inbox. If I didn’t read that article or watch that video within two weeks, it either went into the Bermuda Triangle set of folders to be viewed in my dreams or it went to trash.

But then the elections came and a group of us parents began a couple of e-mail threads that became unwieldy. Okay, I admit that I was an active participant in this thread. Lunafest planning has started, so that thread is active and growing. I’m a member of the high school’s Investing in Academic Excellence, so I get those emails. I try to skim the emails of the high school and elementary school weekly updates for events I need to attend or pertinent information I need to act on.

I file e-bill receipts and schedule e-payments upon receiving the e-reminders, keep track of the kids’ and my health-related appointments and test results, and file monthly updates on the various memberships I belong to, such as airlines, hotels, beauty, and fashion. I have to keep up with the band, soccer, baseball notices, the horseback riding lesson back-and-forth correspondences nailing down the monthly dates, the drama rehearsal and performances dates, and the flamenco lesson reminders, which I need! I want to congratulate a colleague on a promotion when LinkedIn alerts me, but then I have to find the sheet that tells me what my login is for LinkedIn. Since I donate to causes, suddenly I’m getting daily updates from many worthy organizations. On their own, I’m touched to read the latest good news. Collectively, it’s overwhelming. I only need the New Yorker Store once a year to order my desk calendar, but then if I unsubscribe I’ll miss out on that discount that they send out in November. I tried unsubscribing to another site, but since I have a membership, the site refuses my request. Now that we’re Oakland A’s season ticket holders for next year, I get daily e-mails for daily specials. I’ve gotten into the habit of deleting all these emails when they come in, but clearly I haven’t done it on the spot, as my inbox hit 600 emails and climbing this past week.

Details, details.

Details, details.

I made feeble attempts to carve out time to go through my inbox, but after 15 minutes in and what felt at first like progress, I only deleted or filed 100 of those emails. I stopped that futile exercise because it was too demoralizing. Serious purging with real results requires a long night or part of a weekend. It would not be tonight.

One of the email time-suck problems I’ve come across is courtesy of Yahoo. I’d like to survey people who have Yahoo email accounts to find out who likes the “new” system of automatically linking emails from the same thread. Somebody thought it was brilliant to do that for us. But all it does is confuse users on so many levels. One of the reasons I don’t like the automatic threading of emails is that you can delete the whole thread – all 69 emails – and when someone responds, you’ve got 70 emails back in your inbox. Maddening. If you cut and paste from that email thread and start a new message to another person, Yahoo throws it into the same thread. Try going back to that one message in the thread of 70 and responding to that one message; the system seemingly randomly sends you to the original email or one of the emails from the original thread. It’s like being in email purgatory. I just want to respond to this person and this message, you scream at your laptop.

To winterize this outfit, slip on an ivory jacket (tuxedo or moto style) and either cream-colored booties or heeled boots. I'd throw on a light brown or ivory faux fur scarf to complete the neutral palette.

To winterize this outfit, slip on an ivory jacket (tuxedo or moto style) and either cream-colored booties or heeled boots. I’d throw on a light brown or ivory faux fur scarf to complete the neutral palette. Think winter white!

Or sometimes you think you sent the email and it’s sitting in your draft box. I had entered a fiction contest at the end of October and forgot to include a one-sentence description of my novel. The administrator kindly sent me an email telling me to send the missing one-liner with a header identifying the number of my submission ASAP. However, when I respond to the message, yahoo would not allow me to change the subject header. I created about four different emails via cutting and pasting before finally being able to send it off. This was last week. Today, I found it in my draft box. Horrified that I had not only bungled my submission but rudely never responded, never sent what was asked of me, I reached out to the administrator, thinking in the back of my head that I was sure I had sent successfully and she had thanked me. But I could not find that email in the thread. Two weeks past the deadline, I sent another email with the right information and subject header, and she responded within hours that she got it. Got it as in I got it last week and all was well, so why are you bothering me again? She didn’t say anything beyond “got it.” I couldn’t help but clog up her inbox by sending another email saying that I apologized for being so yahoo.

Yes, I realize that I’m part of the problem, thanks, Yahoo. Email is a great tool for communicating with such immediacy (I won’t even touch texting here) and automatically receiving valuable information. Yes, I do want to continue hearing from family and friends; it’s the personal correspondence I look forward to. But I’m not alone in suffering from a nervous breakdown over the amount of email that fills my inbox – ads, solicitations, surveys, newsletters, et al. Purge, unsubscribe, file away. Do them all. But the key is you have to carve out more than an hour to keep up and not feel overwhelmed by email. Put on your favorite Pandora radio station and have at it. Email is a reality of our modern life. Now if only Yahoo would return to its old ways… And by the way, it is e-mail or email?

While the weather's still mild, you can get away with a sturdy platform with peep toe. Keeping to a similar shade as your skin color elongates short legs.

While the weather’s still mild, you can get away with a sturdy platform with peep toe. Keeping to a similar shade as your skin color elongates short legs.

A Poem a day

Was not writing poetry a secret transaction, a voice answering a voice?
– Virginia Woolf, English novelist, essayist, and modernist literary figure of the 20th century, from Orlando: A Biography

Yes, you can wear a cropped top. I prefer wearing it with a high-waisted faux leather skirt, which elongates short frames.

Yes, you can wear a cropped top. I prefer wearing it with a high-waisted faux leather skirt, which elongates short frames.

I’ve been struggling to get everything that I want to get done on my personal to-do list, especially as I try to multi-task to speed the check-off process. Whereas in the past I would have argued that multi-tasking does indeed work, I have to admit that you aren’t fully invested in the current task when your thoughts are leaping toward the next task, which leaves you dissatisfied, especially with respect to any meaningful, quality writing. As a result, the e-mails that I need to get out are not coherent and the blogs posts end up as drafts without souls that are piling up unpublished.

A desperation began to set in as I wondered if I would ever complete a task that I had started. Every weekend for the past several weeks, I stared at my list in paralysis. Research and send out query letters for the first novel. Resist or give in to the urge to edit and revise the first novel one more time. Go back to researching and note-taking and outlining for the second novel. Read and read some more. Blog twice or at least once a week.

In the last several months, I’ve not had to work late nights or weekends – though an exceptional late night has been scattered here and there, and my days are packed with meetings and tasks with end-of-business-day deadlines. So I asked myself why I felt as if I were more stressed now with work, with everything, versus when I was burning the proverbial midnight oil for the last several years. I recalled the months of revising the first novel while keeping up with my grueling work schedule and being on top of my kids’ various extracurricular activities. I didn’t have an answer, which made me flip the switch for turbo multi-tasking.

So I sat myself down and looked at my “free” time. People don’t believe me when I insist that I’m a lazy person at the core and I need structure to keep me on the straight and narrow. Now was the time to incorporate that structure. As awful as it may sound to free spirits, especially creative free spirits, I wrote out a schedule, barring school and other meetings, extracurricular activities, kid sporting events, and so on. Weeknights I either read a novel from the huge stack I’ve created for myself of must-reads (I don’t like to read online; I insist on the joy of turning real pages) or do research for my second novel. Weeknights I find myself less able to write, so understanding this weakness I gave myself things I could achieve with a greater degree of success.

Friends tell me my top is as soft a cashmere. Surprise - it's from Target, and faux leather skirt is from Zara.

Friends tell me my top is as soft a cashmere. Surprise – it’s from Target, and the faux leather skirt is from Zara.

I devote my weekends to writing, either my blogs or exercises in poetry and prose to keep my writing crisp and muscular. While I read novels both for the pleasure of being immersed in a fictional world and examining the structure and character revelation, I realized I needed to read more poetry to keep the musicality of words in my head. Read more poetry. Every day. What made me come to that realization?

I came across a poem by American poet Christine Kemp that reminded me how much I admire poets’ ability to capture the largeness and the small moments of humanity and present it to us in a thimble. Every word is precise. Every word, every line, every thought carries the weight of so much more.

The poem that captured my attention is Kemp’s “The Things That Keep Us Here,” which I offer the first two stanzas (since I can’t print the whole poem out per copyright laws; Google the title to read the rest of this gorgeous poem):

I wouldn’t call them dream times exactly,
those moments when the wind finds you
folding clothes or putting the milk away.
And all that was no longer is.

As if you stepped out from another life
you lived just moments ago. It’s the small
of the closet or the strain in that sonata
you listened to yet never heard till now.
But it isn’t now anymore.

Kemp really captured the ordinariness of everyday life. And elevated it. Shined a light on it that made those acts startling. You are caught off-guard and yet this is your life. The here and now. The yesterday, which will never be again. The present that you can be in and yet feel it rushing away from you like water, sand, and wind. Never to be recaptured whole. And there you stand being in the present. Helpless. Amazed. In awe.

An edgy palette: gray, navy and silver. Michael Hickey reclaimed vintage necklace (Sugarcube, Philadelphia),  Sundance stack of rings, Angela Cummings sterling silver sculpted ring (Urbanity, Berkeley, CA), Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), sterling silver Hill Tribe cuff (Se Vende, Portland, ME), and Boutique 9 pumps.

An edgy palette: gray, navy and silver. Michael Hickey reclaimed vintage necklace (Sugarcube, Philadelphia), Sundance stack of rings, Angela Cummings sterling silver sculpted ring (Urbanity, Berkeley, CA), Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), sterling silver Hill Tribe cuff (Se Vende, Portland, ME), and Boutique 9 pumps.

I marvel at poets, their ability to pack so much in each word. Someone once said that if they knew where poems came from, they’d go there. I surely would. Poems are mysteries to me. They are a foreign language that I am struggling to speak and understand, which is something I once told, in exasperation, to the late Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, Karl Shapiro, who taught a poetry workshop that I was honored to be in while I was an undergraduate at UC Davis.

But it doesn’t matter in the end whether I fully understand the poet’s message. It’s the sensation in the brain that matters. It’s the fact that carefully strung words that feel so natural and dynamic are making the neurons in my brain fire like crazy, a mini fireworks. And reading a good poem satisfies me. It makes me want to read another one. But read it slowly because poetry is like the finest, most intense dark chocolate that you can only eat and should only eat in small doses to fully appreciate it. More importantly, reading good poetry makes me want to write, makes me want to be careful with how I say what I want to say. So, a poem a day, every evening. My writer’s routine. Check.

Fall health maintenance

The first wealth is health.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, lecturer, and poet, who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century

Fall weather attire just before the temperatures dropped recently.

Fall weather attire just before the temperatures dropped recently.

Every fall I make appointments to keep up with my overall health maintenance. Because I had a couple of abnormal mammograms, the last one resulting in a biopsy two Halloweens ago, I’ve been recommended to get a mammogram every year. I don’t like the procedure and I ignored the letters that I got over the summer reminding me to make my appointment. Although I procrastinate, I understand the potential risks for me, which outweighs the discomfort, and so I dutifully have the procedure done every fall.

I also get a Pap smear every year. My nurse practitioner (NP) is quick to remind me that I only need to have it done every three years, per the 2012 guidelines released by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force and the American Cancer Society for women aged 21 to 65, which are based on current, available scientific evidence. (The guidelines recommend that women under 21 and over 65 need not take the test at all.) That may be the case, but here’s a cautionary tale: several years ago, the results of a Pap smear for Fiona, one of the moms in my mom’s group, revealed that she had cervical cancer. She went through chemotherapy, and I’m happy to say that she is in remission and looks great. At the time of Fiona’s diagnosis, I told her what my NP advised. And she responded, “Patty, if I had followed the guidelines and her advice, I’d be dead.”

A colorful bold "tribal" necklace serves as the centerpiece to pull the rest of the outfit together.

A colorful bold “tribal” necklace serves as the centerpiece to pull the rest of the outfit together.

Now, if I were told that I didn’t have to get a mammogram every year, I would run with it because not only would I be spared the extreme discomfort (given my lack of tissue) under the scanning machine but I would be spared the unnecessary radiation. While the sight of stirrups and speculum for the Pap smear procedure still makes me twitch, a quick swab doesn’t expose me to any harm. I suspect the issues in this case are the scarcity of resources, which is tied to lack of access to healthcare services, and spiraling costs. These issues are what I see every day in my profession, so the importance is not lost on me. Maybe this will be my last Pap smear until 2017. It’s a conversation I’ll have with my NP next month, although honestly I can’t think about the procedure without thinking about my friend Fiona.

Bold jewelry for a colorful fall: Anthropologie necklace, Lava 9 wooden earrings (Berkeley, CA), fan ring (Eskell, Chicago), and Angela Cummings sterling silver ring (Urbanity, Berkeley).

Bold jewelry for a colorful fall: Anthropologie necklace, Lava 9 wooden earrings (Berkeley, CA), fan ring (Eskell, Chicago), and Angela Cummings sterling silver ring (Urbanity, Berkeley).

I had my eye examination a couple of weeks ago after getting a notice that my last exam was two years ago. At that time, two years ago, I had racked up years of staring at my computer screen for hours at a stretch. My once 20-20 vision had succumbed to blurry vision at any distance long after I had shut down my laptop. I was especially worried when my vision was blurry while I was behind the wheel. In addition to the vagaries of technology, I thought age was another reason for my failing eyes. Two years ago, my new optometrist surprised me by assuring me that age was not a factor. The culprit was my computer screen and the remedy was taking frequent breaks to exercise my eye muscles, which were locked in to one position. I can’t say that I took frequent breaks, as the adage applies – habits are hard to break.

Since I shifted from writing most of the white papers and case studies on my job to overseeing a cadre of freelance writers, my eyesight has improved markedly because I’m not staring at the computer screen for long periods of time. My other tasks require me to be on the phone a lot for conference calls and meetings, so I can look away. What a difference that makes! I still require reading glasses while on the computer or reading, but the power – .125 – hasn’t changed at all. Bottom line is that I don’t have the blurry eyesight anymore at longer distances. At my most recent appointment, my younger optometrist pooh-poohed age as the reason for degrading eye sight – ah, how casual youth can be! And yet, after reading the eye charts and enduring sticky eye drops and the light-piercing tests, I was deemed to have 20-20 vision, which was refreshing news. So I offer this: If you have to be in front of a computer screen, it really does pay to look away often and to stand up and walk around (this is for relief for your back and legs), if moving around I the only way to stop staring at your screen.

Time to say goodbye to lightweight cotton separates, but we'll keep the jeans and throw on booties and boots as winter approaches.

Time to say goodbye to lightweight cotton separates, but we’ll keep the jeans and throw on booties and boots as winter approaches.

My next examination is for my teeth, my poor abused teeth. In my introduction to my dentist to the history of my teeth, I’ll quickly rush through, out of embarrassment, the pounds of sour Jelly Bellies I consumed during the four-month crunch of conference projects that went on for about five or so years. The sugar falsely kept me up for those all-nighters I pulled, and popping them into my mouth gave my twitching arm something to do while the rest of my body stressed out. I have learned my lesson when my gums started to bleed and stopped consuming them cold turkey, but I’m still dealing with the effects on my teeth.

We may have abused our bodies through the years in the name of work, family, and other demands, but we can stop the abuse and reverse – even if it’s just a fraction – the damage that we’ve wrought. They key is to recognize the destructive behavior and change it for the better with good habits. And the other key is to schedule regular check-ups to ensure that you’re staying on track with living a healthful life.