Category Archives: Appropriate at Any Age

Discussions on appropriateness, regardless of age.

Top 10 reasons to attend the extra-special LUNAFEST 2017

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I can see myself in all things and all people around me.
– Sanskrit phrase

We’re almost a month out from LUNAFEST East Bay’s annual LUNAFEST film festival – “by, for, about women” – which means it’s time for my annual Top 10 reasons to attend. This year is extra special, as you’ll see as you go down the list.

One of our perky ECHS ITA students serving at our VIP event last year.

10. VIP event
If you’re attending the VIP event, which precedes the film screening, you’re in for a real treat. First of all, you’ll be served fantastic food created by J. Gourmet Catering. The flavorful fare will be paired with an assortment of spirits – wine donated by Clif Family Winery and Folsom & Associates (Robert Mondavi and Franciscan) and beer donated by Lagunitas Brewing Company and Trumer Pils. You will get to meet our two guest filmmakers whose short films were selected for LUNAFEST this year. Listen to great music performed by El Cerrito High School student musicians while mingling with other VIP attendees who love film and raising funds for worthy causes. This year, we’ll all be raising a glass of champagne for a toast – but I won’t let on why until further down the list. Intrigued? Sounds like your kind of event? You can get VIP tickets here. But hurry, number of tickets are limited and they are selling quickly!

Head straight for the raffle tables in the lobby to choose what you’ll be buying tickets for.

9. Raffle prizes
Every year, LUNAFEST East Bay raffles off fabulous prizes, and this year is no different. Among the LUNAFEST 2017 prizes are a $100 certificate to Chez Panisse and $100 cash. Check out the raffle board at the VIP event and in the lobby of the El Cerrito High School (ECHS) Performing Arts Theater to peruse the themed basket of prizes, and then nab an ECHS Information Technology Academy (ITA) student who will be selling raffle tickets. $1 a ticket, 12 tickets for $10, and 25 tickets for $20.

Anna Schumacher (photo credit: Talia J Phorography).

8. ECHS alumna Anna Schumacher
Master of ceremony duties belongs to Anna Schumacher, whose short film, “Finding June,” was a LUNAFEST 2016 selection. Anna, who grew up in Kensington, Calif., is a local alumna of Portola Middle School (now Fred T. Korematsu Middle School) and El Cerrito High School. If you went to school with Anna, come on out and reconnect.

7. LUNAFEST filmmakers Lara Everly and Diane Weipert
This year we are lucky to have two filmmakers join us – both at the VIP event and in an on-stage interview. Diane Weipert, who lives in San Francisco, will be showing her short film, “Niñera,” “a story that looks at the bitter irony many nannies face: raising the children of strangers for a living while their own children are virtually left to raise themselves.”

Diane Weipert.

Diane Weipert has worked in film for over a decade. Her screenwriting debut premiered at the World Cinema Competition at Sundance in 2006 (Solo Dios Sabe – Diego Luna, Alica Braga). Her award-winning radio piece, “The Living Room,” was named best story of 2015 by Wired and The Atlantic, and is being developed as a feature film. Weipert is a two-time resident of the San Francisco Film Society’s Film House, where she is in development on her feature, Boyle Heights. Read my profile of Diane here. Then get to know her in person and ask her about her feature film!

Our second guest filmmaker, Lara Everly, hails from Los Angeles. Her short film, “Free to laugh,” is “a documentary that explores the power of comedy after prison.” Lara is a director, actress, and writer championing women in comedy – both in front and behind the camera. Her directorial debut, “Me, You, A Bag & Bamboo,” was awarded Best Family Film at the Canada International Film Festival and won the Viewer’s Choice award at the Ovation Short Film Contest, which led to a televised screening of the film. Lara’s short films have played the film festival circuit, won awards and procured distribution through Shorts HD, Snag Films and Oprah.com.

Lara Everly (photo credit: John Sutton).

Lara loves directing comedy, partnering with companies like FunnyorDie, Comediva, Hello Giggles, and College Humor. Web Series work includes “Love Handles” for FunnyorDie and a music-video web series called “The Queue” for PopularTV.  She most recently directed a musical comedy pilot called “Patriettes” about a mock government summer camp for teenage girls. Read my profile of Lara here. Be sure to meet Lara at either the VIP event or at the film screening – she’s as funny as her short films!

6. The Breast Cancer Fund and ECHS ITA benefit
When you attend a fundraiser, you want to ensure that it’s working to make the world a better place. LUNAFEST East Bay is supporting both a local organization and the Breast Cancer Fund. The Breast Cancer Fund “works to prevent breast cancer by eliminating our exposure to toxic chemicals and radiation linked to the disease.”

The nonprofit organization translates the “growing body of scientific evidence linking breast cancer and environmental exposures into public education and advocacy campaigns that protect our health and reduce breast cancer risk.” The Breast Cancer Fund also helps to “transform how our society thinks about and uses chemicals and radiation, with the goal of preventing breast cancer and sustaining health and life,” and finds “practical solutions so that our children, grandchildren and planet can thrive.”

ECHS’s ITA students – volunteering for LUNAFEST and gaining invaluable IT experience.

ECHS’s ITA is our local beneficiary. ITA is a small learning community supported by TechFutures, a nonprofit organization started by Mr. and Mrs. Ron Whittier. Their objective is “to give the underserved WCCUSD students an opportunity to have career focused courses in digital art and computer systems management.” From the funds raised by LUNAFEST East Bay, ITA has purchased, among other things such as art supplies, a three-dimensional printer, which is serving tens of hundreds of students. The students have created short films that will be shown at the film festival, which is paving the way for future filmmakers.

A great way to spend an evening with your women friends! Our LUNAFEST East Bay committee members raise a glass to another successful event!

5. Women’s Night Out
Historically, women have had to fight for too many things – the right to vote, protection of their reproductive rights, equal pay, and the list goes on and on. And we’re still fighting on many of these issues! Just as Black Lives Matter, there’s a reason why a film festival “for, by, about women” exists. It’s not meant to be exclusive. Rather, it highlights the fact that women have not had equality or equity in the film industry. Especially during these times, let’s celebrate the accomplishments of women. Let’s be right beside them when they dream big and make good on their vision. Let’s celebrate their artistic vision. If you went to one of the women’s marches around the Bay Area, gather your friends again and celebrate LUNAFEST by making it a Women’s Night Out.

My friend Wendy and her daughter, Lindsay, enjoy their evening out.

4. Mom/daughter night out
Following on the theme of the recent women’s march and Women’s Night Out, it’s important to think of our daughters, as they are the future of our world and what happens now affects their future. Taking our daughters to LUNAFEST is a way to introduce them to films with a woman’s perspective, to other cultures, to other ways of thinking and seeing. It’s a way of expanding their world and connecting them with people outside of our community. My daughter, Isabella, will be attending her third LUNAFEST. Technically, we’re not together in the audience since I’m in and out, behind the scenes, so she sits with a good friend of hers, who also comes with her mother. It’s a tradition that I’m thrilled to share with her, but it’s also something that she’ll take with her when she’s an adult – appreciating and supporting women filmmakers, raising awareness of the environmental impact on breast cancer, and raising funds for worthy causes.

A family of friends have some fun at the LUNAFEST photo booth last year.

3. Family night out – LUNAFEST is for everybody
So I’ve been advocating Women’s Night Out and Mother/Daughter Night Out, but I believe in inclusivity, so if you feel inclined, bring your whole family and make it a Family Night Out. In fact, my husband, David, and my son, Jacob, who is in the ECHS ITA, also attend LUNAFEST. I feel that it’s important for everyone – not just women and not just for preaching to the choir – to see films made by women filmmakers. Let your sons and husbands be exposed to and appreciate short films that speak to a woman’s view. It’s a great way to expand their capacity for compassion.

At last year’s LUNAFEST, the East Bay committee gets a little crazy at the close of the event.

2. 10th anniversary of LUNAFEST East Bay and 100th anniversary of City of El Cerrito!
It’s our 10th anniversary of bringing this fundraising film festival to the San Francisco East Bay. Sure, more than 175 cities across the country have been showing this year’s films, including local communities in the area. But we’re special: to date, in nine years, LUNAFEST East Bay has raised more than $27,000 for the Breast Cancer Fund, a distinction that has been recognized by both the nonprofit organization and LUNAFEST. We have also been supporting ECHS ITA for the last six years, raising nearly $11,000 for the learning community. We look forward to adding to those amazing totals with our 10th film screening. So come on out and celebrate this banner year! Our LUNAFEST film festival is also one of the official events recognizing the 100th anniversary of the City of El Cerrito. So, if you’re a resident of El Cerrito, join us in celebrating our host city’s centennial!

Still from this year’s LUNAFEST selection, “Another Kind of Girl.”

1. LUNAFEST films are fantastic
If you’ve been to LUNAFEST film festivals in the past, then you know how wonderful the films are. Quiet, rebellious, thoughtful, laugh-out-loud funny, sad, biting, gentle, animated, innovative, traditional – for the past 15 years, LUNAFEST has honored a broad spectrum of short films. If you’ve never been, join us and see why our event keeps growing in attendance every year, and many attendees return and make the event a tradition. We support excellence in short filmmaking. Be entertained. Be awed. Become full of wonder. Expand your world and your love and compassion. Get to know your neighbor in the theater and talk about which short film was your favorite and why. Connect and share. Walk away changed by the vision of these talented women filmmakers.

Note: For more information on LUNAFEST East Bay’s LUNAFEST screening, click here.

Belated birthday musings: on turning 53

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It is impossible for me to remember how many days or weeks went by in this way. Time is round, and it rolls quickly.
– Nikos Kazantzakis, Greek writer

I know we're in spring now, but I think this photo was taken in February, my birthday month. We've got the fog and it's chilly, so faux fur and leather seem appropriate.

I know we’re in spring now, but I think this photo was taken in February, my birthday month. We’ve got the fog and it’s chilly, so faux fur from Zara and faux leather from H&M seem appropriate in early May.

Easter has come and gone, May Day has passed, and Mother’s Day is looming ahead of me. When my birthday in February was approaching, I knew my family and I wouldn’t be able to partake in our traditional birthday dinner. I was on deadline and would be until my company’s annual conference passed in mid April. Usually, the conference is in late February, but with the event being held in Chicago, we had to push it back to hopefully catch good weather, which we did. What squeezed me because of the late conference date was working simultaneously on the LUNAFEST film festival. Just as LUNAFEST closed, new projects required my immediate attention – fundraising drive for Jacob’s high school’s Investing in Academic Excellence and preparing my three readers for the 10 applications that were completed and submitted for a scholarship that my family and I established at the high school. We still haven’t celebrated my birthday with a dinner, and while at a certain point it seems pointless, I feel like I need that milestone acknowledged. Call it a continuation of my existential angst. I am still here, I am 53, etc.

At any rate, I feel that we’ll have that dinner sometime this month, when I don’t feel like cooking during the week. For now, I am forcing myself to slow down for a moment and reflect on what is almost half a year into being 53. The first thing that came to my mind was that I don’t remember much of January through April. So many work deadlines, so many stressful days and nights and weekends. If I just had that in my life, I would be very sad and not happy with myself. But thankfully that was not the case, even if it meant less hours of sleep to be able to do the things that make me happy.

Necklace by Gretchen Schields (Book Passage, Corte Madera, CA), ring (Lava 9, Berkeley, CA), Alkemie scarab cuff, and Anthropologie feather earrings.

Necklace made of antique kimono fabric by Gretchen Schields (Book Passage, Corte Madera, CA), ring (Lava 9, Berkeley, CA), Alkemie scarab cuff, and Anthropologie feather earrings.

For one thing, the East Bay LUNAFEST committee put on a really remarkable film festival this year. It was my second year. As was my responsibility last year, I handled the dessert circle. But this time around, I was able to contribute with my writing – interviewing and profiling our private chef who cheffed our VIP event, two of the filmmakers whose film was selected, two of our committee members, and the president and CEO of the Breast Cancer Fund, and adding two more blog posts. We also had a larger crowd this year, and I had the honor of interviewing on-stage the two filmmakers. So I was very proud of our effort. Though I spent many weekends on these profiles, the outcome was worth it all.

Secondly, a good friend’s introduction to her father-in-law, a retired McClatchy journalist, and his retirement home neighbor, who is a local well-known Filipina writer, led to my novel finally finding a home in Eastwind Books of Berkeley (2066 University Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94704, 510.548.2350). Eastwind is a bookseller, but owner Harvey Dong also publishes books that are aligned with the Asian-American themes that its shop carries. I’m overwhelmed with having to do a lot of the work, with Eastwind being an independent small press. I am learning a lot, which I’m grateful for, but we’ve also introduced added stress by condensing the publishing process in order to meet the early September date commemorating the 50th anniversary of when the mostly Filipino farm workers walked out of the vineyards in what became the Great Delano Grape Strikes.

Add a vintage purse (Feathers, Austin, TX) and bronze pumps.

Add a vintage purse (Feathers, Austin, TX) and bronze pumps.

Thirdly, I offered to help the Stockton chapter of the Filipino American National Historical Society with the opening of the National FANHS Museum this summer and help the East Bay chapter with reading events in the summer and fall. I don’t have time to really do it all, but these are things that I am passionate about, and being passionate about a few things keeps one youthful and exuberant inside.

Giving up sleep and multitasking – things that are not healthy habits – are enabling me to keep pace with what I need to do not just in time to send everything to the printer but beyond my novel’s publication, when I need to do a full-court marketing press. Despite the stress of work deadlines, I had an enjoyable annual conference, getting together with colleagues and having a lot of fun moderating a really smart group of panelists for one of our clients. But I’m glad that event is done for the year.

So as I look back at the quarter mark of 2015, I see a lot of productivity and passion. I see exhaustion, but I see work to be proud of and work that will carry me through to the end of the year and beyond. I have a business trip to Orlando coming up. I asked David if we could have that birthday dinner the following week – and throw in Jacob getting his braces off and my novel getting accepted for publication as additional reasons to celebrate – three months late. I’ll take it. My 53rd year is promising, indeed. Why not continue the celebration.

I wore sweats most of the time these last four months, but every once in a while I threw something together and felt like I was back in civilization.

I wore sweats most of the time these last four months, but every once in a while I threw something together and felt like I was back in civilization.

Jeanne Rizzo: Connecting to the indomitable spirit, Part I

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Believe. No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted island, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.
– Helen Keller, American author, political activist, and lecturer

Jeanne Rizzo, RN, president and CEO of the Breast Cancer Fund (photo credit: Irene Young).

Jeanne Rizzo (photo credit: Irene Young).

I first heard Jeanne Rizzo, RN, president and CEO of the Breast Cancer Fund, speak at the San Francisco premiere of the 2013-2014 LUNAFEST film festival in September 2013. She approached the podium on crutches and in her introduction announced that she had pushed back her knee replacement surgery in order to attend the premiere. Jeanne shared with us the responses she received from women when she explained that she had hurt her knee while playing beach Frisbee. The older group of women winced and asked why she had put herself at risk, while the younger generation wanted to know: Did she catch it? Yes, she, indeed, caught the Frisbee. “I had a moment in the air that felt great,” Jeanne shared. “I connected to the indomitable spirit.” That story resonated with me as much as the wonderful short films that were shown that evening.

Taking risks, savoring joyful moments
Jeanne, who turns 69 this year, noted that in her era women’s options of what they could be were severely limited. However, despite growing up poor, she was the first one in her Italian immigrant family to go to college, she related to me in an interview in February. While the previous generation of women and her own followed a predictable life trajectory, Jeanne developed an attitude of doing what she wanted and challenging people who threw up barriers and told her she couldn’t do it. This attitude served her well when she and her partner at the time opened up the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco in the 1970s. “I thought, ‘Well, why not? Why not us? Why can’t we do this?'” she said matter-of-factly. In her eyes, the excitement of trying something new outweighed the risks, and the worst thing that could happen was losing money on a failed venture. “I’m willing to take intellectual, emotional, and social justice risks,” she declared. “I think it’s critical that we stand up and step out.”

Jeanne and San Francisco jazz and blues critic Phil Elwood at the Windham Hill Festival, Greek Theater, Sept. 11, 1983.

Jeanne and San Francisco jazz and blues critic Phil Elwood at the Windham Hill Festival, Greek Theater, Sept. 11, 1983.

Also critical, according to Jeanne, is being attuned and recognizing something special through one’s passion or compassion, and acting on that recognition. In the early 1970s, a guy on a bicycle refused to leave the Great American Music Hall box office until he had a chance to speak with Jeanne, who was responsible for booking concerts at the venue. After he talked his way on-stage for a brief audition and “blew her away” with his singing, she booked him for a gig and agreed to his request for a 100 percent advance on the spot. “I remember going back in and saying, ‘I just spoke to a guy who I don’t know and I gave him his full fee in advance. I have no idea what his phone number is or where he lives or whether he’’s going to come back on his bicycle or not,'” she said, and laughed. But, she added, “There was joy in that. There was joy in being right on, recognizing something special and being willing to be there with it. That was one of the most joyful moments for me.” Oh, and the singer? Jeanne revealed that it was none other than Bobby McFerrin.

We’re all in this together
Jeanne thrives on seeing the best of herself in a situation like that or seeing the best in someone else. And she has that opportunity to bear witness time and again with her colleagues at the Breast Cancer Fund (1388 Sutter St., Suite 400, San Francisco, CA 94109-5400, 866.760.8223), whose groundbreaking work and mission is to “prevent breast cancer by eliminating our exposure to the toxic chemicals and radiation linked to the disease.” Any team – be it a production crew for a concert or film or staff at an emergency room or hospital – requires different skills to come together and achieve goals. “There are people who are better than you at every single element of the work,” Jeanne said. “You want people around you who are going to bring something – that spirit – that’s going to make the whole greater.”

Jeanne speaks, with her wife Pali Cooper and CA Senator Dianne Feinstein by her side.

Jeanne speaks, with her wife, Pali Cooper, and CA Senator Dianne Feinstein by her side.

The same holds true for women who go through the journey of overcoming breast cancer, according to Jeanne. After the diagnosis, these women have to turn the corner, so to speak, and find the will to be able to turn the corner. In order to do so, they need to surround themselves with a team that will help them imagine health and wellness. “If you could be one of the people there for them in that moment, why wouldn’t you be?” Jeanne posed, and then repeated, “Why wouldn’t you be?” While Jeanne is not a breast cancer survivor, she understands what “coming close to the edge” feels like as a survivor of a head-on collision with a drunk driver on the Golden Gate Bridge in 1987 and then as a long-term rehab patient. “I know what it’s like to bring yourself back,” she confided.

The Prevention movement: ‘Start with one thing’
Jeanne pointed out that, tragically, women under 40 who are diagnosed with breast cancer have a much higher mortality rate than women diagnosed over the age of 40. These young women are much more vocal, righteous, and impatient, Jeanne has observed, which may be in part generationally driven. “But the thing that gives me hope is that you can worry about survival,” she said. Women can be concerned about every aspect – survival, treatment, access to care, preventing a recurrence, and the legacy of daughters and granddaughters and the next generation of women – because they are not mutually exclusive. “You don’t have to say, ‘Well, I can’t really think about preventing it because I already have it.’ I know more and more women with breast cancer who are very concerned about prevention,” Jeanne said. “It’s their own health and wellness in preventing a recurrence or them not wanting this to happen to one more woman.”

Jeanne and Gwen Coleman, PhD, of the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences.

Jeanne and Gwen Collman, National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, at the Breast Cancer Fund Heroes Celebration.

When I asked Jeanne what one piece of advice she would give to a woman regarding breast cancer prevention, she prefaced her response by acknowledging that there are so many things that can be done. That said, Jeanne entreated: “Start with one thing. Don’t try to take it all on. Just find something you’re passionate about.” Be conscious about whatever the greatest exposure might be and find that one thing. For example, if you live in an agricultural region where pesticides are sprayed, that one thing might be only buying and eating organic food or establishing a community garden. A mother with young children might get rid of toys in the house that are made with toxic chemicals or drive a campaign to eliminate toxic chemicals in the playground equipment at her children’s school or the local park. A woman may research whether her cosmetics have cancer-causing chemicals and opt for safer products or establish a social media campaign with friends to bring awareness to what chemicals they are unknowingly putting on their faces or their bodies.

“Do that one thing that you can feel good about so that you’re not overwhelmed and paralyzed,” Jeanne said. “If every woman contributes one bit of her energy to one element or one aspect of the toxic exposures that we have, we will have a movement.” People need to voice their concerns and raise questions about, for example, whether their children really need the X-ray that the doctor is ordering. “I can’t say, ‘Don’t microwave plastic and that’s enough.’ I can’t,” Jeanne insisted. But what she can say and does say, is: “Be conscious, be conscious, be conscious.”

Jeanne and her wife Pali Cooper - being 'unassailable.'

Jeanne and her wife, Pali Cooper – being ‘unassailable.’

Being ‘unassailable’
While we were on the subject of proffering advice, I asked Jeanne what she has gleaned from her very full life that she could share with us women. “Self-reflection,” she promptly answered. “Being willing to understand yourself and really being authentic about who you are and who you want to be in your family and your community, and being fully there.” For example, don’t box or stifle yourself by thinking you have to do something or be someone because you’re of a certain age or because it’s the fashionable thing to do. She also called for being open to the possibilities that what is authentic for you today may evolve down the road into something else that may be more compelling for you to become. “Listen to yourself; really pay attention to yourself,” she stressed. “If you stand in your authentic self, you will be in the world a better person. You’ll be a more honest and true person, and you’ll be unassailable. You’ll be unassailable.”

Postscript: Part II of my interview with Jeanne will be posted on Wednesday, March 4th. Jeanne will be an honored guest at the VIP event hosted by the LUNAFEST East Bay Committee on March 21st at 6:00pm, 638 Clayton Avenue, El Cerrito. Following the reception, the LUNAFEST film festival will be shown at 7:30pm at the El Cerrito High School Performing Arts Center, at 540 Ashbury Avenue, one block up from the VIP event. Jeanne will open the festival with the welcome and will be available to meet after the screening. Come visit with her at either event. You can purchase tickets (for the VIP event/film festival or just the film festival) here or contact me directly.

Fall health maintenance

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The first wealth is health.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, lecturer, and poet, who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century

Fall weather attire just before the temperatures dropped recently.

Fall weather attire just before the temperatures dropped recently.

Every fall I make appointments to keep up with my overall health maintenance. Because I had a couple of abnormal mammograms, the last one resulting in a biopsy two Halloweens ago, I’ve been recommended to get a mammogram every year. I don’t like the procedure and I ignored the letters that I got over the summer reminding me to make my appointment. Although I procrastinate, I understand the potential risks for me, which outweighs the discomfort, and so I dutifully have the procedure done every fall.

I also get a Pap smear every year. My nurse practitioner (NP) is quick to remind me that I only need to have it done every three years, per the 2012 guidelines released by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force and the American Cancer Society for women aged 21 to 65, which are based on current, available scientific evidence. (The guidelines recommend that women under 21 and over 65 need not take the test at all.) That may be the case, but here’s a cautionary tale: several years ago, the results of a Pap smear for Fiona, one of the moms in my mom’s group, revealed that she had cervical cancer. She went through chemotherapy, and I’m happy to say that she is in remission and looks great. At the time of Fiona’s diagnosis, I told her what my NP advised. And she responded, “Patty, if I had followed the guidelines and her advice, I’d be dead.”

A colorful bold "tribal" necklace serves as the centerpiece to pull the rest of the outfit together.

A colorful bold “tribal” necklace serves as the centerpiece to pull the rest of the outfit together.

Now, if I were told that I didn’t have to get a mammogram every year, I would run with it because not only would I be spared the extreme discomfort (given my lack of tissue) under the scanning machine but I would be spared the unnecessary radiation. While the sight of stirrups and speculum for the Pap smear procedure still makes me twitch, a quick swab doesn’t expose me to any harm. I suspect the issues in this case are the scarcity of resources, which is tied to lack of access to healthcare services, and spiraling costs. These issues are what I see every day in my profession, so the importance is not lost on me. Maybe this will be my last Pap smear until 2017. It’s a conversation I’ll have with my NP next month, although honestly I can’t think about the procedure without thinking about my friend Fiona.

Bold jewelry for a colorful fall: Anthropologie necklace, Lava 9 wooden earrings (Berkeley, CA), fan ring (Eskell, Chicago), and Angela Cummings sterling silver ring (Urbanity, Berkeley).

Bold jewelry for a colorful fall: Anthropologie necklace, Lava 9 wooden earrings (Berkeley, CA), fan ring (Eskell, Chicago), and Angela Cummings sterling silver ring (Urbanity, Berkeley).

I had my eye examination a couple of weeks ago after getting a notice that my last exam was two years ago. At that time, two years ago, I had racked up years of staring at my computer screen for hours at a stretch. My once 20-20 vision had succumbed to blurry vision at any distance long after I had shut down my laptop. I was especially worried when my vision was blurry while I was behind the wheel. In addition to the vagaries of technology, I thought age was another reason for my failing eyes. Two years ago, my new optometrist surprised me by assuring me that age was not a factor. The culprit was my computer screen and the remedy was taking frequent breaks to exercise my eye muscles, which were locked in to one position. I can’t say that I took frequent breaks, as the adage applies – habits are hard to break.

Since I shifted from writing most of the white papers and case studies on my job to overseeing a cadre of freelance writers, my eyesight has improved markedly because I’m not staring at the computer screen for long periods of time. My other tasks require me to be on the phone a lot for conference calls and meetings, so I can look away. What a difference that makes! I still require reading glasses while on the computer or reading, but the power – .125 – hasn’t changed at all. Bottom line is that I don’t have the blurry eyesight anymore at longer distances. At my most recent appointment, my younger optometrist pooh-poohed age as the reason for degrading eye sight – ah, how casual youth can be! And yet, after reading the eye charts and enduring sticky eye drops and the light-piercing tests, I was deemed to have 20-20 vision, which was refreshing news. So I offer this: If you have to be in front of a computer screen, it really does pay to look away often and to stand up and walk around (this is for relief for your back and legs), if moving around I the only way to stop staring at your screen.

Time to say goodbye to lightweight cotton separates, but we'll keep the jeans and throw on booties and boots as winter approaches.

Time to say goodbye to lightweight cotton separates, but we’ll keep the jeans and throw on booties and boots as winter approaches.

My next examination is for my teeth, my poor abused teeth. In my introduction to my dentist to the history of my teeth, I’ll quickly rush through, out of embarrassment, the pounds of sour Jelly Bellies I consumed during the four-month crunch of conference projects that went on for about five or so years. The sugar falsely kept me up for those all-nighters I pulled, and popping them into my mouth gave my twitching arm something to do while the rest of my body stressed out. I have learned my lesson when my gums started to bleed and stopped consuming them cold turkey, but I’m still dealing with the effects on my teeth.

We may have abused our bodies through the years in the name of work, family, and other demands, but we can stop the abuse and reverse – even if it’s just a fraction – the damage that we’ve wrought. They key is to recognize the destructive behavior and change it for the better with good habits. And the other key is to schedule regular check-ups to ensure that you’re staying on track with living a healthful life.

When in Vegas: Get and stay happy, Part 2

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Happiness is a choice.
– Shawn Achor, social psychologist and author

Shawn Achor as opening keynote speaker at my Vegas conference this past Sunday.

Shawn Achor as opening keynote speaker at my Vegas conference this past Sunday.

So now that we know we can choose to be happy, per Shawn Achor’s opening keynote at the Vegas conference that I attended earlier this week, the question remains: How do we start to make change in our lives to be happy or happier and track those changes to stay on that path? I have yet to read Achor’s two books, The Happiness Advantage (2010) ) and Before Happiness (2013), but he did a great job presenting the latter book by offering his 5 habits of practicing happiness, which he called the building blocks for changing our genetic and environmental set point for the better.

Three gratitudes
Achor entreats us to write for 21 days straight three things that we are grateful for. People know that gratitude is good for us, but social scientists have conducted studies to show that people can learn how to be optimistic – called “learned optimism” from the book of the same name and a concept developed by Dr. Martin Seligman, American psychologist, educator, and author. His studies have shown that even pessimists can evolve to become low-level and even high-level optimists – no matter your age. Octogenarians have experienced this result, proving that “45 seconds of thinking of three things you’re grateful for each day can trump not only your genes, but eight decades of experience,” Achor said. At dinnertime, our family goes around the table and each member talks about the “rose and the thorn” of his or her day. Not quite three gratitudes, but something along the same lines of recognizing what we are grateful for in our day and in our lives.

Chuhily glass ceiling at the Bellagio Hotel's lobby.

Chuhily glass ceiling at the Bellagio Hotel’s lobby.

The Doubler
Spend two minutes writing about a single meaningful experience in the last 24 hours, including as much detail as possible. Studies have shown that visualization is interpreted in the brain’s cortex as actual experience. Therefore, people who journal about positive experiences, for example, actually double the equal experience. When Achor talked about the “doubler,” I thought about my blogging. One of the reasons I started blogging was to get myself in shape as a writer, but I also found that blogging about striving for a meaningful, creative, full life kept my eyes on the prize. Even when I was grumpy, sad, lazy, or disinterested, I forged ahead, knowing somewhere inside that the writing exercise was good for me. And after I published blog posts when in these moods, I more often than not felt the better for it.

The Fun 15
Achor pointed out that 15 minutes of mindful cardio activity a day is the equivalent of taking an anti-depressant. I get on my wind trainer for 30 minutes a day, Monday through Friday, early in the mornings. I confess that there are many mornings when I would rather be doing something else or want to whittle down my set time. After hearing Achor talk about mindful cardio activity, I have tried to focus on what good I’m getting out of literally spinning my wheels. I do spend time on the bike plotting out my day because it makes me feel like I have a game plan and it makes me feel productive. But it doesn’t take the entire 30 minutes. Now I know to treat half of that time as a form of being more mindful, getting in touch with how my body is working.

Quiet time early in the morning: my room with a view at the Bellagio Hotel.

Quiet time early in the morning: my room with a view at the Bellagio Hotel.

Meditation
Find time to meditate. And if you can’t, here is a simple exercise while at work: For two minutes, take your hands off your keyboard and watch your breath going in and out. Achor noted that studies have shown that this exercise increased people’s accuracy of a task by 10 percent, created a significant rise in their happiness, and reduced the negative levels of stress that they were experiencing. I’ve always wanted to return to yoga, but for now, I can easily carve out two minutes in front of the laptop.

Conscious acts of kindness
Take two minutes a day to write a text or an e-mail praising one person you know. Do it for three days in a row. Studies have shown that, 21 days later, research subjects reported having a robust social network support and strong ties, as a result of having “deeply activated” those people from the communications. “Social support is one of the greatest predictors of happiness,” Achor declared. With so many work and school-related acts of violence in our society, imagine if we had help from experts and internal leadership to deepen our social connection within those institutions. “It trumps everything else you can do,” Achor emphasized.

Another Vegas worthy frock: oxblood vegan leather dress.

Another Vegas worthy frock: oxblood vegan leather dress.

How to keep going: the goal is closer than you think
Sometimes starting out is easy, but continuing is the rub. Achor pointed out that we can speed toward our goals by highlighting the progress we’ve already made.  He was recently asked by an NBA team how to motivate its players for the play-offs. “If you tell the team they’re at the start of the play-offs, that’s exhausting,” Achor noted. “But if you talk about how they’re at the end of the season and highlight their victories of the past couple of years and what got them to this point, they perceive the progress and they perceive being closer to the goal.”

To-do lists are good tools that lead us to our goals, but Achor advises not to start our list at the current status quo because we’ll be overwhelmed by the number of tasks yet to be done. Instead, include what we have already accomplished. By highlighting accomplishments, we create what social psychologists call a “cascade of success” and get closer to our goals. When people exercise in the morning, for example, they feel that they’ve done something successful and it cascades into the next activity. Studies have found that people who exercise in the morning are better at doing their in-box in the middle of the day, according to Achor. This is absolutely true for me. Before I even take a shower and walk my daughter to school by 8:30 AM, I respond to work e-mail, do a core and hand weight exercises, walk Rex or 25 minutes in the neighborhood, and spin on my wind trainer for 30 minutes. With each morning routine I get out of the way, I feel like I have done a lot and feel the rush of accomplishment by the time I sit at my desk to work.

Vintage Kramer rhinestone earrings, Sundance ring, and J. Crew chunky necklace.

Vintage Kramer rhinestone earrings, Sundance ring, and J. Crew chunky necklace.

Achor entreats us to “cancel the noise.” Especially in this technology-driven world that we live in, more and more our brains are getting overwhelmed from processing all the food of information coming at them, making it difficult to process anything new and stopping us from looking for positive changes in our lives. If we decrease the amount of noise, Achor contends, our bodies can relax. Therefore, he entreats us to carve out an hour a week where we don’t look at your mobile devices or other distracting things. “Studies have shown that a five percent decrease in noise actually boosts our ability to see the signal,” he pointed out. “A little foothold helps people believe change is possible.”

To make it easier to do something positive, Achor says, we also need to get rid of barriers to change, which he calls the 20-second rule, to create positive habits in our lives. Achor talked about sleeping in his gym clothes so that first thing in the morning he could go straight to exercising. My strategy is to have my exercise area all prepped so I don’t waste precious morning time setting up and potentially talking myself out of exercising.

Close-up of multiple textures: vegan leather, sparkly clutch, chunky chain and stone necklace, and faux snakeskin chunky pumps.

Close-up of multiple textures: vegan leather, sparkly clutch, chunky chain and stone necklace, and faux snakeskin chunky pumps.

Before we make changes to our happiness, success, or health, our brain first has to get over the barrier of what Achor called the activation energy. “If we can change that activation energy level by 3 to 20 seconds in any direction, I can stop you from doing negative habits or get you to start doing positive habits,” he said. Watching TV – depending upon what you watch, of course – is a well-known time sinkhole. According to Google, the average American watches 5.7 hours of TV a day. Achor used to watch three hours a day, thanks to a low activation energy of plopping on the sofa and hitting the “on” button on the remote control. He added 20 seconds to the activation energy by taking out the remote-control batteries and putting it in various places. It took too much energy to remember where he had put them and then to retrieve the batteries. At the same time, he also put books, his journal, and work on the sofa, and his guitar and its stand in the living room. “I made myself less time efficient,” he explained. By adding 20 seconds to his bad habit, he regained two conscious hours a day or 14 hours by the end of the week. “That’s an entire conscious day I got back,” he exclaimed. Now he only watches TV when it really matters. To create a positive habit, make it 3 to 20 seconds easier to start. “I took the path of least resistance toward the positive habit. My excuses actually went away,” he said. “It created a life-long habit.”

On a journey....

On a journey….

Ultimately, Achor said, “You don’t have to be just your genes and your environment. We can actually choose to have higher levels of happiness based on the choices we make in our lives.” On the other hand, he emphasized, quite emphatically, we don’t want blind happiness – that is, ignorance being blissful and being blind to suffering around us – or irrational optimism, which sugarcoats reality. Achor is enthusiastically advocating for rational optimism. “Happiness is not the belief that everything is great; happiness is the belief that change is possible,” he said. Achor reiterated his definition of happiness, which is one of the themes of Before Happiness: “the joy one feels striving for one’s potential.” It’s the journey.

Sleep experiment: in bed by 10PM

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Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.
– Mahatma Gandhi

Pajama-style outfits are still trending. Regal navy with cream piping is a more subdued and classical version.

Pajama-style outfits are still trending. Regal navy with cream piping is a more subdued and classical version.

I’ve been writing about healthcare information technology since 2003, and in that time I’ve had the honor of learning and writing about (and meeting thrice fleetingly) an industry icon who to me is today’s version of the Renaissance Man. John Halamka, MD, has more titles than a dozen people put together. He’s chief information officer at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, chairman of the New England Healthcare Exchange Network, co-chair of the HIT (Healthcare Information Technology) Standards Committee, professor at Harvard Medical School, practicing emergency physician, author, blogger (Life as a Healthcare CIO), board member of a nonprofit established by the Veterans Affairs Department, mushroom and poisonous plant expert to the Regional Center for Poison Control and Prevention, and farmer, who recently finished building a bridge and pier on his farm.

I have to catch my breath now. I have seen Dr. Halamka in action at conferences. He’s texting and reading e-mails while waiting his turn to speak at panel presentations, and completely smashing what one physician told me years ago that men’s brains are not built to be able to multi-task like women’s brains apparently are. When he breezed into our news room at our annual conference some years back, and everyone was in awe of everything that he does in so little time, he announced that he gets by on average on four hours of sleep. Ah-hah! I told myself. That’s his secret. He must possess that rare genetic mutation that was discovered in 2009. Sleep researchers found two DNA samples from two sleep study participants that had abnormal copies of the DEC2 gene, which affects circadian rhythms. These two women sleep study participants got by on six hours of sleep, going to be between 10PM and 10:30PM and getting up refreshed around 4AM to 4:30AM, ready to start their day.

Comfortable, easy styling with glittery jewels, clutch, and metallic pumps.

Comfortable, easy styling with glittery jewels, clutch, and metallic pumps.

For the longest time, I have been getting by on less than the suggested eight hours of sleep. Sleep deprivation was my middle name among my friends. It was the only way I could do everything I needed to do – get my work done for my day job, raise kids, housekeeping, get to my novel, do the volunteering for my kids’ schools, and more recently blog. I routinely went to bed around two and got up at six. During the busy season at work, I would routinely pull all-nighters and sometimes 48-hour work days and not show any signs of wear and tear the following day. And since that rare genetic mutation was discovered, I thought I, too, was in possession of that abnormal gene.

And then I got older and in the last two years I started feeling fatigued all the time. I would wake up exhausted. I thought to myself that it must be I was carrying my stress into my sleep. If only my four to six hours of sleep were restful and uninterrupted, I would be fine. I thought older people needed less sleep, so what was my problem? I thought I must be “going through the changes” and once that was over I would be fine. But I didn’t have years to endure to get back to my normal pattern. In addition to not getting restful sleep, it must be the food I’m eating, I deduced. My body must be changing and reacting to foods I have been eating for years. A couple of Christmases ago, I thumbed through a book that my brother-in-law had gotten for David’s parents called Wheat Belly. That’s it! I told myself. Gluten must be the source of my fatigue! I need to start doing food elimination to discover the culprit, if it’s not indeed gluten.

Dramatic Ben-Amun drop earrings (Personal Pizazz, Berkeley, CA) and my mom's ring.

Dramatic Ben-Amun drop earrings (Personal Pizazz, Berkeley, CA) and my mom’s ring.

A few months ago, I was telling my friend and mom’s group member, Mimi, about my fatigue and tracing it to food, and she didn’t bat an eyelash as she told me in her usual frank tone of voice, “How about getting enough sleep?” I tried to brush her off. I’m used to getting by on less sleep than most people. But I’m realizing it’s not true. And if a study published in December 2013 by Duke University researchers is any indication, I need to change my dangerous ways. The study revealed that women need more sleep than men and that the amount of sleep is more closely tied to health issues for women than it is for men. I know that sleep deprivation, especially long-term, damages the brain to the point that it resembles a football player’s brain that has suffered several concussions. Heart disease, blood clots, stroke, depression – stop! I didn’t want to hear any more of what I was doing to my body! I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

In the last few weeks, especially, I have been feeling exhausted upon waking up every morning – not just every other morning, as has been the case for several months. I’d been told that women should go to bed around 10PM because the two hours between 10PM and midnight were critical for women to get sleep. But, I sputtered upon hearing that fact, those two hours are when I’m full-bore doing multiple things – blogging, writing, folding laundry, catching up. But in recent weeks I have noticed how it is taking me twice as long to do anything. Those Duke University researchers discussed how women, who are natural multi-taskers, need their brains, particularly the cortex, which is the seat of memory, language, thought, and so on, to go into recovery mode so they could function properly the next day. What good was I if I had to take twice as long to work on my novel or blog? Pushing through was simply not going to work anymore.

Simple, easy, and comfortable - yet elegant.

Simple, easy, and comfortable – yet elegant.

So I began my sleep experiment earlier this week. Get to bed by 10PM and see what happens. I have to admit that I have not felt exhausted every morning. I didn’t manage to be in bed by 10PM two nights this week. I got to bed at 10:30PM one night and 11PM another night. The onset of fatigue on some of those days didn’t hit until midday. I was greatly encouraged by these early results. Some nights my body was ready to drop off to sleep that early. Other nights I tossed around, understanding that my body was not used to going to bed so early.

But I’m more alert and more productive during the day. I’m heartened by that immediate change. I tell myself that I’ll be able to get more done when rested than I would if I stick to my old ways. I have always prided myself on being healthful. Eat healthfully. Check. Exercise regularly. Check. I have never been good about sleep; sometimes, wrongly, wearing sleep deprivation like a badge of honor. I’ve thrown the badge away. While I wish I could be my version of Dr. Halamka, I realize I need to take care of my health first. The rest will come later.

Close-up: Only a few sparkling touches needed to complete this outfit.

Close-up: Only a few sparkling touches needed to complete this outfit.