The Dress at 50: now we are 1

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. If it takes a year, or sixty years, or five lifetimes, as long as we’re heading towards light, that’s all that matters.
– Jack Kornfield, American author and Buddhist teacher

This blouse and skirt was an Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can "scrunch." Fun.

An Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can “scrunch.” Fun.

A year ago this month, I launched The Dress at 50. My first blog post was my welcome, which I published December 8th and talked about my reasons for starting my “lifestyle” blog. In my first regular blog post, which I published a year ago yesterday, I waxed poetic about my love of vintage – in particular, a certain 1960s faux fur dress that caught my eye at Treasury, a wonderful little vintage shop in Washington, D.C.

Since then, I’ve published 151 posts, starting with a routine of posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Until recently, I reluctantly reduced my postings to Tuesdays and Fridays because I needed to spend more time with another goal of mine from last year, which was to finish my novel, A Village in the Fields. There were times when I struggled to find something to say, but more often than not, I had a lot to say and a lot to share.

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

One of the most satisfying things the blog has given me is the opportunity to profile some pretty amazing women, who have inspired me with their courage, creativity, entrepreneurial spirit, and generosity. I got to interview women who started their own businesses and heeded the call to do what they loved to do. In other instances, friends introduced me to women whom they thought I would enjoy getting to know and write about, which I did. What a gift that has been! I haven’t had the chance to do more profiles because of my work and my novel, but I hope to get back to publishing at least one profile a month. My profile of local proprietor Jen Komaromi of Jenny K got the most views ever, with a big spike the day it was posted, which speaks to Jen’s tremendous reach (thanks, Jen!).

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Another thing I have enjoyed is sharing my little trips within a business trip when I travel. It’s been my hobby to find one thing in each city I visit to seek out and write about. I have been pleasantly surprised to find such gems as the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh, which housed Rodin sculptures inside the museum and in an outdoor garden. I’ve met wonderful people along the way, many who have inspired me, including Carl, the proprietor of Vintage Underground in Chicago. My post “Plant a tree, have a child, write a book” continues to garner daily views, making it the most consistently viewed post.

This is not to say that I have a million followers and a million views a day. Quite the opposite! I reached 10,000 views earlier this month, of which I’m still proud. I have my loyal tribe – thank you, ladies! – despite not having the ability for people to comment, which I’m told is the death knell of blogs (oh well). I had fixed the comment issue, only to have it die on me again. I’m going to try to fix it next month (again), so stay tuned.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Topics have been varied, but I’ve tried to stay true to my motto of living the creative, meaningful, and full life. Whatever allows me to do so is fair game for a topic. I believe I was more introspective in the early months since launching the blog and less so now as a result of work and trying to finish the novel before the year is over, which has been a herculean task. Again, I hope to do more introspective posts.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), "vintage" Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), “vintage” Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Interestingly enough, while I enjoy dressing up, which instills a certain level of self-confidence, I’ve been living in a “uniform” the last several months of knit pants, oversized sweatshirts, and tennis shoes because I’ve been too busy and too exhausted to think about putting on an outfit. I hope to change that routine in the New Year, as well. I’ve enjoyed putting outfits together and seeing how the ensemble looks, and sharing them on my blog. I’ve been drawn more to jewelry of late than clothes and being more deliberate when I do find a piece of clothing that catches my eye. Longevity, quality, sustainability, classic timelessness are the traits that guide me as I wander my favorite shops and new shops. I hope to share those traits in future outfits that I feature in my blog in 2014.

Honestly, there were many times when I would conduct an interview, write a post, or publish the post and think to myself, wouldn’t this be a great day job. I still think that – a part-time job to being a full-time novelist, that is. But for now, I’m content to share what inspires me, what helps me fuel my creativity, and what makes my life more meaningful. Here’s to another year of The Dress at 50. Join me on this journey!

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Road trippin’: San Diego or bust

Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.
– Jack Kerouac, American novelist, writer, poet, and artist who coined the term Beat Generation, from On the Road

My family and I have been anxiously awaiting going down to San Diego this year for Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law and her family and our family have been taking turns hosting this holiday since 2007. It’s a time for my kids to get together with their cousins and see their aunts and uncles, and Noni and Papa. We have taken the entire week off in the past, but weren’t able to this year. I missed the last Thanksgiving in San Diego in 2011; David and the kids drove down the Sunday before. I had too much work, but I had a one-way ticket to fly down on that Wednesday. My mother was stricken with pneumonia the Monday before Thanksgiving and was in the ICU for two weeks before being sent to an acute-care facility for five weeks, after which we relieved her of her pain and said goodbye.

I'm a big believer in comfort on the road, and in fact, my uniform comprises sweat pants and XL sweatshirt and sneakers. But you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time, so long as the separates you choose are soft and not binding.

I’m a big believer in comfort on the road, and in fact, my uniform comprises sweat pants and XL sweatshirt and sneakers. But you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time, so long as the separates you choose are soft and not binding.

Last year was a strange Thanksgiving. We hosted and I was acutely aware of having had lunch at the hospital in Folsom at the previous Thanksgiving and my brother-in-law bringing in Styrofoam boxes of turkey for our dinner. Losing loved ones is hard enough, but when you lose a loved one during the holidays, those holidays are never the same. They’re just different. Last Thanksgiving was difficult, as we hit the one-year anniversary of everything connected to losing my mother.

This year, although I have always been grateful for many things and am mindful of my blessings especially at this time, I feel an urgent sense of thankfulness – for my health and my family and my extended family’s health. David and I are both crazy busy at work, but better than the 180-degree alternative. While he will be bringing work with him on our road trip, I am looking forward to a much-needed respite.

Knit bomber jacket, graphic t-shirt, and stretchy patterned jean are stylish and comfortable.

Knit bomber jacket, graphic t-shirt, and stretchy patterned jeans are stylish and comfortable.

Given that it’s been four years since our entire family has made the Thanksgiving trek to San Diego, we are looking forward to the drive – seriously. We won’t have Rex and his bed tucked in one side of the back seat while the kids are huddled in the middle and other side, although the kids and I agree that we didn’t mind having him with us. He always wanted to come on our trips, though it’s the strange destinations that made him nervous and us ultimately realize that he’s best left at home to be tended to by all our neighbors and to be the good watchdog.

When I was a child, I enjoyed the family drives that we took to visit my dad’s brother, our Papa, and his wife, who stayed back in Los Angeles even after we moved up to Terra Bella when I was very young. There’s something about road tripping that gives me that snuggly, cocoon feeling. David says I never relax until we’re pulling out of the driveway. I check and make sure that we have everything packed, the suitcases, the sleeping bags, the blankets and pillows, the snacks, the books and magazines, the laptop for movies, the laptop for work and writing, the music. Everything we could possibly need in our car.

Left: Lava 9 insect pin (Berkeley, CA), Sundance rings, Carmela Rose earrings. Right: Talbots rings necklace and Kate Peterson stack of rings and necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

Left: Lava 9 insect pin (Berkeley, CA), Sundance rings, Carmela Rose earrings. Right: Talbots rings necklace and Kate Peterson stack of rings and necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

The kids still watch each other’s movie picks. They fight fiercely one moment and then are laughing the next. They have been talking about an observation car game that they played on a previous trip and are looking forward to playing again. These moments are precious. And as they grow older, as we grow older, road tripping for the holidays will become a different experience. One that I am not ready to think about just yet.

We will be driving to Lemoore and staying with David’s brother and his family for the night and then off to finish the last leg of the trip to San Diego. Isabella and David made chocolate chip cookies for my Lunafest meeting and David’s youth baseball meeting last weekend. We squirrelled away 12 cookies for our road trip – three a piece.

We are set. For all our family and friends and everyone else who are traveling this Thanksgiving holiday to be with loved ones, safe travels!

Book spine haiku, volume 7

Clouds now and again
give a soul some respite from
moon-gazing – behold.
– Matsuo Basho, Japanese poet

Another edition of book spine haiku for your Friday. Three haikus, one by my poet friend Laurel Kallenbach, and the last two by me.

My friend, Laurel, submitted this book spine haiku.

My friend, Laurel, submitted this book spine haiku.

My first offering.

My first offering.

My second offering.

My second offering. Note: Houston’s novel is about the Donner Party ordeal in the Sierra Nevadas in 1846.

A "vintage" Corey Lynn Calter open-weave sweater (Calter was at the recent Anthropologie event in Corte Madera last month), velveteen and smocked smokey mauve blouse, and jeans.

A “vintage” Corey Lynn Calter open-weave sweater (Calter was at the recent Anthropologie event in Corte Madera last month), velveteen and smocked smoky mauve blouse, metallic mirrored pointy pumps, and jeans.

Burgundy and mauve accessories: Carmela Rose earrings and necklace, Anthropologie bangle, Sundance rings, and In God We Trust band (NYC).

Burgundy and mauve accessories: Carmela Rose earrings and necklace, Anthropologie bangle, Sundance rings, and In God We Trust band (NYC).

Shades of mauve in different textures.

Shades of mauve in different textures.

While everyone sleeps, I write

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
– Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, actress, and Civil Rights Movement activist

Late Thursday night, and everyone in the house is asleep, except for me. Mobile phone safely out of his room, my son, Jacob, is at last sleeping soundly. David turned in early, as he has to get up early for an all-day fishing trip with colleagues and a client on Friday. Isabella has always been an easy sleeper since she was a baby – she lays her head on her pillow and is dreaming within minutes. And Rex, my faithful library companion, is chasing squirrels and cats in his dreams as his geriatric hind legs jerk back and forth and his nails scratch his dog bed, hot on the hunt.

Bold ethnic print jacket and skirt brightens a wintry day.

Bold ethnic print jacket and skirt brightens a wintry day.

I am wide awake, despite the many evenings I have been sleepy and exhausted of late, in part because of the time change, the falling back. I am wide awake on this late night, and it’s the best time to write. When it’s this quiet, the words in my head and on the page are dancing, alive, pulsing with energy.

Carmela Rose earrings, End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Carmela Rose earrings, End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

It’s not so cold just yet that I need to be swaddled in a fleece blanket as I sit before my laptop. But in thinking of the late cold nights when everyone is beneath their down comforters and I must bear the thermostat having been turned down after 11PM, I remember one night before we remodeled and added on to our house. Our bedroom was my office, with our monstrous computer armoire looming in one corner of the room. When I worked late, which was often, David would sleep with the pillow wrapped around his head. Sometimes the luxury of staying up late at night was for my own writing.

Black platform boots and sky-blue turtleneck draw out the colors in the print.

Black platform boots and sky-blue turtleneck draw out the colors in the print.

I remember one night when I was writing for myself, working on my novel. Our bedroom sat over the garage. Cold air flowed through the cracks in the hardwood floor planks, making my feet icy and numb. I was wrapped in a blanket, but anything exposed – my fingers, my nose, my ears – was cold. But I was happy. Words were shaping worlds and giving voice and action to living, breathing people. Words were making them cry and laugh, gave them wishes and regrets. Words were flowing across the computer screen as my fingers tapped away, creating a musicality.

I finished a section, happy with the way it ended, happy with the chapter’s arc. And then I looked up for the first time in hours. I turned to my right, where the picture window faced the west. Dawn was breaking. I had written all night. The realization filled me with wonder. I was cold, but I was not tired. I was alive.

A perfect accessory match! Vintage Bakelite-inspired necklace with resin fanned leaves. Highlight it against a crisp white button-down blouse.

A perfect accessory match! Vintage Bakelite-inspired necklace with colored crystals and resin fanned leaves. Highlight it against a crisp white button-down blouse.

As I ponder the distractions of the last several weeks, which have tried to keep me from my writing, I think back to that one wondrous night of writing, which is not unlike a runner’s high. How to get back to that state of sheer joy? This is where the older, wiser self rises in freedom from the younger self, who has crumpled under the strain. Stand yourself up. Ask yourself: What do you really want? And then go to it. There is precious little time. With great defiance, go to your happiness. Many people are still trying to determine what makes them happy or would make them happy. But for those of us who have figured it out, against all odds, we must find our way. There are many more dawns waiting to greet me as I write.

Happy Friday!

TGIF! I am ready for what David catches for dinner and a much-deserved glass of wine!

TGIF! I am ready for what David catches for dinner and a much-deserved glass of wine!

Celebrating Kazuo Ishiguro on his birthday

As a writer, I’m more interested in what people tell themselves happened rather than what actually happened.
– Kazuo Ishiguro, Japanese-born British novelist, born November 8, 1954

When Kazuo Ishiguro came to San Francisco’s A Clean, Well-Lighted Place for Books in April 2005 – the Opera Plaza bookstore, one of my favorites, closed the following year – I made the pilgrimage across the Bay. I packed his five novels, including my first edition copy of The Remains of the Day purchased from Berkeley’s Black Oak Books – another favorite indie bookstore, which closed its Shattuck storefront in 2009, though reopened later on San Pablo Ave. That spring he had just come out with his latest book, Never Let Me Go.

Black is a literary color, with some red pop.

Black is a literary color, with some red pop.

I tried reading Never Let Me Go soon after his visit. I couldn’t get into it, much to my dismay. When the movie of the same name came out in 2010, I vowed I wouldn’t see it until I read the novel. I’ve tried picking it up a few times more, but I’ve still not seen the movie. I know it will be a matter of time when I’m in the right frame of mind to receive it. When I first started reading The Remains of the Day, recommended by my co-workers at the time, I had the same trouble losing myself in the world of the characters. To quote Ishiguro from a Paris Review interview published in the Spring 2008, No. 184 issue: “I’ve never felt that I have a particular facility at writing interesting prose. I write quite mundane prose.” True, I wasn’t pulled into his characters because of his prose. But I kept going on the journey – each novel is a journey. It wasn’t until I had read the last page and put the book down that I took in everything about the novel, what had transpired, what Mr. Stevens discovered about his life. And I told myself, his story was unassuming as you go along, but in its totality, the novel took my breath away. The feeling is not unlike stopping finally and looking back at one’s life and coming to an epiphany about all those years. The revelation can blow you away.

Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA), BCBG MazAzria statement ring, and Sundance stack of rings.

Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA), BCBG MaxAzria statement ring, and Sundance stack of rings.

My favorite novel of his is When We Were Orphans. It came out in January 2000. I can’t remember if I read it before or after my son, Jacob, was born. At any rate, at the time I was overwhelmed with the thought of parenthood. So the nut of the novel (“Christopher Banks’s parents disappear when he is a child, and he grows up believing that he can find them and turn back the clock – that they’ll carry on where they left off, and he’ll pick up a kind of happy childhood again,” from Ishiguro’s own words in his interview in the Paris Review) resonated with me. What I appreciate about Ishiguro is reflected in the quote that opens this blog post. How we remember things can be quite different than what actually happened, and that is not only more interesting, it makes for more interesting people, characters. In fact, what we think happened is more important than what actually happened. “Memory is quite central for me. Part of it is that I like the actual texture of writing through memory,” Ishiguro once said.

Dolce Vita bootie with silver accents against a bold Eva Franco puffy skirt.

Dolce Vita bootie with silver accents against a bold Eva Franco puffy skirt.

Given the fact that his first three novels were set in specific locations and historical time periods, I was surprised to hear him talk at the San Francisco book reading about the constraints of specificity, of not wanting to do that with Never Let Me Go. He was going for universality, stripping away the distractions of time and location. I was somewhat taken aback because at the time I was near completing one version of my novel, which was a historical novel – specific time and place.

In an interview in the Atlantic Online in October 2000, he said: “It’s all very well to say that wars or revolutions are bigger, that a love story somehow becomes more profound if it’s set against the backdrop of the Cuban revolution or the Russian revolution, but that’s not always true. There is a difference between being big and being deep. To achieve depth in art and in fiction you have to look at small things, things that aren’t always obviously important in a history-book sense. I think that’s often what we go to novels for – that depth.”

To balance out a puffy bold skirt, wear one color on both ends with a form-fitting blouse and opaque tights.

To balance out a puffy bold skirt, wear one color on both ends with a form-fitting blouse and opaque tights.

While I appreciate what Ishiguro is saying here, the two need not be mutually exclusive. You can, and always should, look at small things. They need not get lost in wars or revolutions. At the same time, you don’t set a love story in a revolution in order to make it more profound. It’s that the love story cannot be told any other way. The revolution is integral to the love story and vice versa.

Talking about Ishiguro, remembering his novels, and reading his interviews make me want to reread his novels. I’m not sure I’d want to have tea with him – a bit intimidating – but I will raise a glass today in honor of his birthday!

Welcome November: ‘in everything, give thanks’

You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.
– Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer, from The Prophet

When we moved back into our remodeled house in the spring of 2007, I saw a board in a catalog that simply said: “In everything, give thanks.” It ended up gracing our family room wall. Every now and then, I look up to it and I am reminded that we need not remember to give thanks just at Thanksgiving. It’s a daily ritual if we can find that quiet moment for reflection. I was supposed to take this past week off to work on my novel, but too many scheduled meetings and revised deadlines prevented me from asking for the week off. While I was discouraged, I told myself to keep plugging away when I could and everything would be fine. Last week ended with the beginning of a new month, the beginning of November. The end of the week also brought little and big joys, which afforded me moments of gratitude.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and sweat pant style.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and track pants.

Revision accepted
The revision that I had to do, the one that I fretted over because I didn’t think I could fit in everything the client wanted? I made an executive decision to include three concepts and no more. Though I had approached this re-do with mental roadblocks and a writer’s block, once I made that decision, it was easy to write. A burden was lifted. I sent it in, and the client liked it. Gone girl. The project and the stress, that is!

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Jenny K fundraiser
This past Saturday was the last day of a week-long fundraiser for my son’s middle school. This is a fundraiser that I started last year with Jen Komaromi, local woman entrepreneur of Jenny K, (6921 Stockton Avenue, El  Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.5350). It culminated with a two-hour wine and cheese event. Our new PTSA vice president provided all the beverages and food, and our energetic and cheerful fundraising chair brought her group of friends to shop. I thank Jen for her generosity in donating proceeds of the sales to our middle school. She has always supported the local schools and the community. And I thank my PTSA colleagues and all the shoppers who came out to support Portola and Jenny K (support your local businesses!). It warmed my heart to be a part of this annual fundraiser.

A Ryan Du Val mural above the storefronts graces Jenny K gift store and Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar.

Jenny K gift shop on the far left hosted the second November Portola Middle School fundraiser. Thanks, Jen!

 

Lunafest planning going well
As part of the Lunafest East Bay Organizing Committee, I am in charge of a new part of the format – coffee and dessert after the screening of the nine short films, by, for and about women. By the end of last week, I had secured two wonderful women entrepreneurs who will be serving their fabulous baked creations. More on this later. But suffice to say, Lunafest on March 8th, at 7:30pm at the El Cerrito High School Performing Arts Theater (540 Ashbury Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.231.1437) is going to be a wonderful evening of engaging, creative short films by women directors (in fact, one of the directors will be at this event) and fundraising for the Breast Cancer Fund and other local groups. Mark your calendars and bring your friends. This is a terrific community event.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I'm all set.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I’m all set.

Finis: novel completed
This past Sunday I completed the last major revision of my novel, A Village in the Fields. I started the novel in May 1997. I wrote numerous revisions, removed a major character, cut down from a high of a thousand pages to its current 461 pages. Much has happened in my life since its beginnings – marriage, work, two children, work, home remodel, work, public education volunteerism and advocacy, work, losing my mother, work – with some false starts on thinking it was done when in fact it was not. I’m that much closer now. The last leg of this journey is reading it straight through, from page 1 to page 461, to check the flow, the language, and to fix a few more things. I have never met any of my big self-imposed deadlines (I was supposed to have finished the novel each of the last three years), but I’m hoping to finish the entire manuscript by Thanksgiving. Finishing the last chapter on Sunday afternoon – after waking up to an epiphany about it Saturday morning – was deeply gratifying. And I am ever so grateful to have stuck with it, to have had close friends lend their critical eye and cheer me on, to have been humbled by the rejections back in 2006 and to have found the confidence and perseverance to get up and keep going, and to know what was wrong with it and to fix it. Once I’m completely done with this journey, it begins anew with another journey. And I am more than ready for that next journey, bursting with joy and gratitude.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.