Portland, Maine: my summer home

I share the best
thing I can make – this stitching
together the memory
and heart-scrap, this wish
– Wesley McNair, Poet Laureate of Maine, from “Reading Poems at the Grange Meeting in What Must Be Heaven,” collected in My Brother Running

Beautiful downtown Portland, Maine.

Beautiful downtown Portland, Maine.

I’ve been coming to Portland, Maine, in August for the last eight years. My company is based in New Gloucester, Maine, and one of my dearest friends and later boss lives in The Pine Tree State. Jack and I met at Syracuse University when we were fiction writers in the Creative Writing Program back in 1988. Yes, I know, that was a long time ago. Jack and his business partner started a publishing company in the early 2000s, and he took me on as a freelancer shortly thereafter.

I was still a freelancer at the time when I started coming to the summer summits, which commenced two years before, but have been an FTE in the last three years. Ever since that first summer summit, I have stayed with Jack and his family – he met his wife, Fay, our second year at Syracuse – for the weekend and then the company summit would begin that Monday and Tuesday. In August 2010, my family came with me, and we explored the wonderful islands in the Portland area before heading to Boston for the rest of our family vacation.

Best bakery in and out of Portland.

Best bakery in and out of Portland.

I still remember the wonder of looking out the window of the plane for the first time before landing in Portland and seeing all the quaint but sturdy New England-style homes on the waterfront and the boats with their beautiful, billowy white sails in the still water. Jack and Fay’s three kids – Genny, Nick, and Camille – taught me the proper way to eat a lobster. There is nothing like fresh Maine lobster, such that I heed Jack’s warning to never order lobster at a restaurant lest I wish to be disappointed. It’s true.

Baked goods at The Standard Baking Co.

Baked goods and customer service with a smile at The Standard Baking Co.

Through the years, I’ve been lucky enough to take advantage of my downtime to dash to downtown Portland and enjoy the brick sidewalks and storybook shops, and take in the fresh salt air. This year, the grandmother of one of Jacob’s baseball teammates who hails from Boston recommended that I go to The Standard Baking Co. (75 Commercial Street, Portland, ME, 04101, 207.773.2112), which is well-known not only in Portland but in New England and beyond. We stopped on a Saturday afternoon, and the small shop was hopping as people came in and out on a continuous basis (no exaggeration here). I had to try the chocolate chip cookies, which did not disappoint. I’m told that their breads and pastries are equally delicious. Definitely a destination if you’re ever in Portland.

The well-curated Second Time Around.

The well-curated Second Time Around.

I hit Second Time Around (28 Exchange Street, Portland, 207.761.7037), a consignment shop that has several locations on the East Coast. The Portland shop is small but well curated, which means you can swoop in and out fairly quickly. Although supersize vintage and consignment shops can produce the thrill-of-the-hunt adrenalin, oftentimes and lately they overwhelm me. In the past, I have found a Nanette Lepore brocade jacket and a vintage 1940s jacket for a song. This stop, I snagged a Marc Jacobs embellished cropped cardigan. Other favorite shops in the downtown area include Abacus Gallery (44 Exchange Street, 207.772.4880), which features Elizabeth Ng jewelry made of antique buttons; Se Vende Imports (4 Exchange Street, Portland, 207.761.1808), which has beautiful imported jewelry ranging from inexpensive to $$$; and Wyler’s (92 Exchange Street, Portland, 207.775.0751), a gift shop featuring unusual greeting cards, jewelry, clothing, shoes, and everything in inbetween.

A plaque on Exchange Street highlights the historical importance of second-hand clothing stores during the Underground Railroad and for African-Americans.

A plaque on Exchange Street highlights the historical importance of second-hand clothing stores during the Underground Railroad and for African-Americans.

I didn’t make it to the vintage shops Encore, Material Objects, or Pinecone+Chickadee, with the latter two also offering locally crafted goods, on Saturday, but we’ll see if I can slip it in before I return home. The other thing I failed to do is take a picture of a beautiful home typical of the area with the caption of “my next home.” There is always a next time!

When we were island hopping back in 2010, the area reminded me of Robert McCloskey’s wonderful children’s books – Blueberries for Sal, A Time of Wonder, and One Morning in Maine – and Barbara Cooney’s Miss Rumphius. It reminded me of the wish to have given my kids an annual summer vacation on an island, where they could hop on their bikes and take off, fish, and play in the water while I read novels under the cumulus clouds and brilliant sun. In the evenings we would eat leisurely dinners on a deck under the stars, where it is warm with a slight breeze. The days stretch on seemingly without end. And the water, the water is all glass.

The quintessential summer in Maine.

The quintessential summer in Maine.

Erring in the direction of kindness

Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.
– George Saunders, American writer, from his commencement speech at Syracuse University for the class of 2013

Dressing up in a casual way with shorts. My Kate Spade handbag was a big find at a local consignment shop.

Casual yet crisp dressing with shorts. I love mixing green and navy. My Kate Spade handbag was a big find at Urbanity, a local consignment shop in Berkeley, CA.

George Saunders’s commencement speech to the class of 2013 at Syracuse University went viral last week, shortly after appearing in the New York Times. It ranks as one of the top inspirational graduation speeches, in my opinion. What makes it enduring for me is how his advice resonates for all generations. Kindness is at the heart of his speech – though you should read it in its entirety. Looking back on his life, Saunders realized that the thing he regrets most in his life is his “failures of kindness.” As a result, he entreated the newly graduated to “try to be kinder.”

Saunders noted that we humans have difficulty being kinder because of three survival-of-the-fittest instincts, which can be at odds with being selfless and more open and loving: We’re central to the universe, we’re separate from the universe, and we’re permanent. This is why being kind is hard, according to Saunders. But have no fear: There is a way to kindness.

Different ways to dress up the white shirt, cardigan, print shorts: Laura Lombardi necklace (Chicago), Sundance ring, faux horn bracelet from Africa and Jenny K earrings (El Cerrito).

Different ways to dress up the white shirt, cardigan, print shorts: Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago), Sundance ring, horn cuff  from Africa given to me by my sister, and Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito).

Finding the way He believes that we become kinder with age. We become kinder, Saunders says, because of our life’s experiences – adversities knock us down, people lend us a helping hand and lift us up, and as a result we are grateful for our community. As we grow older, we see the uselessness of being selfish, staring straight-on at our mortality and watching our loved ones leave us. “As you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love,” Saunders said. “YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE.”

Up close with brass on navy and vivid poses.

Up close with brass and horn on navy and a vivid print. The earrings are reclaimed vintage tokens.

Until then, however, the newly graduated have things to accomplish – careers, dreams, and accolades. Saunders assured them that it’s okay to be ambitious, as the two needn’t be mutually exclusive. “If we’re going to become kinder, that process has to include taking ourselves seriously – as doers, as accomplishers, as dreamers. We have to do that, to be our best selves,” he said. Saunders, who is 54 and graduated from Syracuse’s Creative Writing Program the year before I entered the program, has been a professor there since 1997, and is a highly acclaimed writer of short stories, novellas, and essays.

Change the mood of your outfit by the accessories you choose to be street-stylish.

Change the mood of your outfit with this statement necklace.

Saunders warns us not to let the act of trying to succeed take up all our energies, leaving the “big questions” untended. That’s why he entreats us to do the ambitious things but “err in the direction of kindness.” “Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial,” he said. Saunders advises us to reconnect or remain connected to the luminous part of ourselves “to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.”

Clustered pearl necklace changes the parent and child to beating up on themselves.

Clustered pearl necklace changes the outfit, upping the unique factor. Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Getting back to the luminous part of ourselves I can’t say that everyone becomes kinder with age, but for those of us in the second half of our lives, Saunders’s words either remind us of the possibilities or are an epiphany to a gentler, more serene way to live out the rest of our years. At our age, we can and should still strive to be our best selves, even if we haven’t yet accomplished what we set out to do with our lives when we were doe-eyed, in cap and gown, clutching our diplomas in our anxious hands. We may have been distracted and separated from the luminous part of ourselves – either from selfishness, darkness, confusion, sadness, and self-doubt or happenstance or discovery – but we can still “nurture it and share its fruits tirelessly” no matter where we are in our lives.

My sister gave me this bracelet from Africa and I picked up the net-over-pearl necklace at a local consignment shop.

My sister gave me this bracelet from Africa and I picked up the net-over-pearl necklace at a local consignment shop.

Larry Itliong, the Delano Manongs, and the Delano Grape Strikes

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
– Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister

Johnny Itliong talks about his father at the I-Hotel Manilatown Center in San Francisco.

Jonny Itliong talks about his father at the I-Hotel Manilatown Center in San Francisco.

I spent my Sunday afternoon at the I-Hotel Manilatown Center (868 Kearney, San Francisco, CA 94108, 415.399.9580) to see the nearly completed documentary The Delano Manongs: The Forgotten Heroes of the UFW by Emmy Award-winning filmmaker Marissa Aroy. The event was sponsored by the Manilatown Heritage Foundation. I first met Marissa in October 2010 when she came to Stockton, CA, to show her film Little Manila: Filipinos in California’s Heartland, which highlights the history of the Filipino community in Stockton. The Stockton chapter of the Filipino American National Historical Society (FANHS), of which I’m a member, hosted the event, along with the Manilatown Heritage Foundation. At the time, she also included a trailer to her then-current project on the Delano manongs, which prominently features Larry Itliong, the Filipino American labor organizer and leader of the 1,500 Filipinos who walked out of the grape fields on September 8, 1965, which began the Great Delano Grape Strikes of the 1960s and 1970s.

Agbayani Village in Delano.

Agbayani Village in Delano.

Now in the editing stage, the documentary is scheduled to be released this year. To my disappointment, Aroy was not in town, though she had taped an introduction and thank you; however, Sid A. Valledor and Jonny Itliong spoke. Having worked side by side with Itliong and other Filipino American labor leaders, Valledor wrote and published in 2006 The Original Writings of Philip Vera Cruz (Americans With a Philippine Heritage). Cruz was one of the few Filipino Americans to serve on the board of the United Farm Workers Union. I don’t remember how I ended up meeting Sid, but I had attended his symposium on Vera Cruz and my family and I made the pilgrimage to Delano in September 2005. Sid took the group to all the historical sites pertinent to the farm workers’ movement, including Agbayani Village, which was a retirement home built in the 1970s for the manongs – the elderly, single Filipino men who came in the 1920s and 1930s and never married, thanks to the laws at the time that forbade Filipinos from marrying white women. I had since lost touch with Sid, so attending Sunday’s event also reconnected me with this walking history book of that era.

Outside the rooms of Abgayani Village is a courtyard.

Outside the rooms of Abgayani Village. The retirement community was built by volunteers from all around the country and the world.

Jonny Itliong, Larry’s son, drove up from Ventura, CA, the night before attend the event. While he spoke, a slide show of his father played on the screen behind him, and we were treated to family portraits as well as published pictures of his father during the grape strikes and boycotts. During the intermission, I introduced myself to him, explaining that I had read the October 18, 2012, article written about him in the New York Times (“Forgotten Hero of Labor Fight: His Son’s Lonely Quest”). [I had mistakenly thought and told him that I’d read the article in the Los Angeles Times.] I explained that I had e-mailed the journalist and asked that she pass on a note from me. He told me he never got such a note. Later, when he spoke before the crowd, he brought up his disappointment in the article, how it focused on “his lonely quest” to get his father recognized. There was more on the grape strike from the Cesar Chavez perspective, and scant attention was paid on Jonny Itliong’s quest not just to get his father’s name recognized but to widely publicize the truth about why the Filipinos were squeezed out of the UFW. Interestingly, Jonny Itliong reported that the UFW had contacted the journalist and her editors to ensure that she would write a “nonbiased” article [in other words, one that doesn’t put the UFW in an unfavorable light], which she did. When 40 Acres in Delano, the epicenter of labor union activities and early headquarters of the UFW, was proclaimed a historic landmark by the Department of Interior in 2008, Jonny Itliong noted that the UFW did not mention his father or the Filipinos’ contributions. However, thankfully, the park representatives did speak of his father in their presentation.

One of my aunts still picking grapes in her 60s, summer 2005.

One of my aunts still picking grapes in her 60s, summer 2005.

All this is relevant to my novel A Village In the Fields, which I hope to complete and have out sometime in the fall. As Jonny Itliong pointed out, there are many stories about the Filipinos and the Delano Grape Strikes – and they all need to be told. Together these stories will provide a comprehensive history that we need to claim in order to understand ourselves and to guide our future. Whether you are Filipino or not, you need to know about the contributions of Itliong, Vera Cruz, Pete Velasco, Ben Gines, and the rest of the Filipino farmworkers, and how they impacted agricultural labor in California and the rest of the country. They need to be recognized for all the work that they did on behalf of the agricultural workers in this country. All the contributions they made and the hard-fought changes they wrought are a mere shadow today, given conditions in the fields today, which is sadly not unlike those of the 1960s. This state of affairs makes requiring us to know our history that much more important.

Stay tuned. The stories are coming.

Ripe Ribier grapes in September - the jewels in the fields.

Ripe Ribier grapes in September – the jewels in the fields.

Plant a tree, have a child, write a book

(Every man should) plant a tree, have a child, and write a book. These all live on after us, insuring a measure of immortality.
– attributed to the Talmud and Jose Martí, Cuban revolutionary and poet

Vintage Underground's owner Carlos showing off his creations.

Vintage Underground’s owner Carlos showing off his creations.

On my last day of vacation in Chicago a few weeks ago, while on my vintage hunt, I met Carlos, the owner of Vintage Underground (1507 N Milwaukee Avenue, 773.384.7880), a shop that carries clothing, accessories, and jewelry dating from the mid-century. He was receptive to me taking pictures of his store for my blog, and when I finished making my way around the huge basement-level shop, he asked me what my blog was about. I told him it was my way of celebrating entering my 50s by living creatively, fully, and meaningfully. When I mentioned having finished my first novel back in 2006, only to be crushed by receiving 60 rejections from literary agents, Carlos scoffed.

Our ginkgo tree, which we planted in our backyard after we got married nearly 15 years ago.

Our ginkgo tree, one of my favorite kind of trees, which we planted in our backyard after David and I got married nearly 15 years ago.

“Sixty?” he repeated. “That’s nothing!” He proceeded to tell me that he would have stopped at 100, if that. “‘Plant a tree, write a book,'” he said. “Ever hear of that?” When I shook my head, he advised me to look up the Buddhist saying on the Internet. [When I came home, I indeed looked it up and found that there is disagreement about its provenance, but most references seem to give the nod to either the Talmud or Cuban revolutionary and poet Jose Martí. The order of the commandments is also varied. Carlos, as you can see, left out the part about having a child and the reason for doing these things.] For Carlos, the purpose of planting a tree and writing a book was not just about immortality but also expressing yourself, taking delight in these activities, and simply being.

Me and my kids, my heart and soul, downtown, along the Chicago River.

My kids – my heart and soul – and me downtown, along the Chicago River.

He showed me a turn-of-the-century handbag that sported two compartments. He had attached watch parts and gears to one side of the handbag. On the inside, he had inserted various things – a lipstick case and a toy gun – in the elastic straps. He also showed me a necklace and cuff he had made especially for a party he was attending. The watch hanging from a thick chain sprouted wings, while watch parts embellished the wide polished sterling silver cuff. All three pieces evoke a Steampunk aesthetic.

When Carlos told me making jewelry was his form of therapy, I laughed. But he was serious. Why pay someone money to listen to you talk about what’s troubling you and then you leave and that’s that? Here in his shop, he can create something beautiful and feel good about it. The act of creation is joyful, soulful, and meaningful. Other people also appreciate and purchase his creations, and he takes pride knowing they are wearing what he has designed. What he creates lives on. Carlos was on to something. And I fully agree with his philosophy on creation.

Leather and lace for summer.

Enjoy life! With cut-out leather and lace for summer (handbag from The Fickle Bag, Berkeley, CA).

Dress comfortably in the summertime, and dress with confidence.

Dress comfortably in the summertime, but more importantly, dress with confidence.

When I came home and found the full reference to the quote, at various times during that day and following days I pondered how it applied to me. Taken literally, I have done all three – we have planted fruitless cherry, ginkgo, and peach trees in our backyard and twin Aristocrat pear trees in our front yard; I have two children; and I’ve written my first novel, though it still needs one more round before I am ready to say that it’s done. But I realize having done all three is not the end of the journey. Our deciduous trees need their leaves to be raked and composted every fall. Their branches need to be pruned. They need watering. Our children, especially as they head into adolescence, will need just as much guidance, albeit with an invisible hand and eye, as when they were toddlers. And writing a book is a life-long process – one in which you get better as you get older and draw from your life experiences and wisdom. And then the next book is an extension, a growth of the first one, a growth of you. I am a better writer with each piece I write, whether fiction or nonfiction; I am a better writer than certainly seven years ago and even two years ago.

Reliving the nostalgic 70s with bell-bottom lace pants and floppy hat.

Be creative in all you do: Reviving the nostalgic 70s with bell-bottom lace pants and floppy hat.

For me, the original saying could not have come at a better time, when I’m going to be spending the next month and a half doing one last revision on my first novel and then figuring out how to set it free out in the world. There can be variations on the theme – plant vegetables or flowers, help birth babies or baby animals, adopt or mentor a child, write and record a song or design a building or paint a painting or choreograph a dance. Plant a tree, have a baby, write a book – such poetic, yet fierce words. Find your variation on a theme. Rejoice in the act. Become “immortal.” Simply be. Fully alive.

Novel almost done.

Novel almost done!

Book spine haiku, Volume 4

Describe plum-blossoms?
Better than my verses…white
Wordless Butterflies
– Hogan Reikan, Zen Buddhist monk

For your Friday, I give you book spine haikus. Today I offer haikus from my friend and blogger of Laurel’s Compass, Laurel Kallenbach, and two from me. Enjoy!

Laurel's first offering.

Laurel’s first offering.

Laurel's second offering.

Laurel’s second offering.

My first offering.

My first offering.

My second offering.

My second offering.

A retro look, reminiscent of 1970s Stevie Nix.

A retro look, reminiscent of 1970s Stevie Nix.

Rich chocolate velvet, golden sequins, and ethereal bow-tie peplum blouse, with Carmela Rose reclaimed chandelier earrings, Lava 9 statement ring (Berkeley, CA), and J. Crew bracelet.

Rich chocolate velvet, golden sequins, and ethereal bow-tie peplum blouse, with Carmela Rose reclaimed chandelier earrings, Lava 9 statement ring (Berkeley, CA), Sundance stacked rings, and J. Crew bracelet.

Love the textures: Beads and sequins, embroidered ombre flowers, and plush dark chocolate velvet.

Love the textures: Beads and sequins, embroidered ombre flowers, and plush dark chocolate velvet.

June 12, 1898: Philippine Independence Day declared

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
 – John Philpot Curran, Irish lawyer and politician

An outfit that reminds me a little of traditional Filipina fashion - the embroidered flowered blouse with stiff sleeves and scalloped edges.

An outfit reminiscent of traditional Filipina fashion – the embroidered flowered blouse with stiff sleeves.

Today is Independence Day in the Philippines. On this day in 1898, Filipino revolutionary Emilio Aguinaldo declared independence from 300 years of Spanish rule during the Spanish-American War. The Americans came to the islands to expel the Spaniards, but turned around to become the Filipinos’ next colonial ruler and exporter of the island country’s rich natural resources. Despite the declaration of independence, Filipino rebels fought for their country in 1899, in what was to become the Philippine-American War, with which few Americans are familiar. In the Treaty of Paris, Spain ceded the Philippines to the U.S. for $20 million. It was not until after World War II that the Philippines finally gained their independence.

Floral accessories for an embroidered blouse with scalloped edges.

Floral accessories for an embroidered blouse with scalloped edges.

I first read about the little-known Philippine-American War when I was researching the history of the Philippines for my first novel-in-progress, A Village in the Fields. My main character, Filipino farm worker Fausto Empleo, left his homeland to come to America to “change his luck,” which is what my father wanted to do when he left his coastal hometown of San Esteban, Ilocos Sur, in the early 1920s. The turn of the century in the Philippines was and still is an incredibly fascinating time. The exhilaration of freedom was soon stamped out by shock and betrayal. This was a war that was not acknowledged, an unofficial war. It was a war that helped determine the 1900 presidential election of incumbent William McKinley and anti-imperialist William Jennings Bryan. It has been later called the first Vietnam War for the torture that American soldiers inflicted on innocent civilians. It is a war that I will be returning to in my fiction writing.

Colors of the Pacific Ocean.

Colors of the Pacific Ocean.

In honor of Philippine Independence Day, here is an excerpt from Chapter 2, “What was left behind,” of A Village in the Fields:

When Fausto reached the second floor, he saw a candle glowing in his lelang‘s bedroom. She was usually asleep by this time. He hesitated before pulling the crocheted curtain aside, but she was sitting up, waiting for him. He sat on her bed, inhaling the musty, bitter scent of betel nut mixed with lime from her lips and red-stained teeth.

“Lelang Purificacion,” he said, “Pa will not give me his blessing.”

“If he did not love you, he would let you go without a care. You should be honored by the burden of his love,” she said, and sighing, stared out her window, the capiz-shell shutters wide open. “When you are in America, you must remember him and forgive him. Better to be hurt by his love than to be all alone with nothing.”

“What about you, Lelang? Will you try to change my mind?”

She pursed her lips as if she had swallowed something more bitter than betel nut juice. Tiny wrinkles fanned out from her mouth. “I have a story to tell you. It is not my intent to change your mind. I tell you this now because I do not want you to be ignorant.”

He laughed. “Lelang, I am going to America to gain knowledge.”

She kneaded her fingers. Veins, like thick twine wrapped around her fist, warped the shape of her hands. “Do you know the date June twelfth, eighteen ninety-eight?”

“Independence Day,” Fausto answered. “The Americans helped us defeat the Spaniards. Miss Arnold taught me about the Americans’ involvement.”

She pulled her shawl over her shoulders. “There was another war after the Spaniards were removed, but you will not find it in any American history books. Your father was too young to know what was happening in the lower provinces and on the other islands – we do not talk of the bad times – but I told him years later, when he could understand. He never forgot, but now you will make him think of it all the time.”

“Remember what?” Fausto’s voice was as taut as the woven mat stretched across his lelang‘s bed.

“The war with the Americans,” she said softly. “I had received word that my parents and sisters and brothers were being sent to a detention camp set up by American troops in our hometown of Batangas. We thought the news was false, but your lelong, Cirilo, went down there to bring them here. When he left, your father was only ten years old. More than a year and a half passed before your lelong came back alone. He had lost so much weight. He would not say what became of my family. The day he came back was the day my family ceased to exist. It was also the day your lelong ceased to exist.”

Fausto’s Lelong Cirilo, who before his long absence had welcomed the removal of the Spanish government from the Philippines, kept his sons from attending the American schools that were cropping up across the islands and swore under his breath at the American soldiers who passed through town. Two American Negroes arrived one day and settled in San Esteban. He befriended them, welcoming them into his home for meals and accepting their dinner invitations. When he returned late one evening, he confided to Purificacion that they were American soldiers who had deserted the army. “They will never return to the States. They said they are freer in our country than in their own,” he insisted, though she didn’t believe him. He told her the white American soldiers had called him “nigger” and “savage,” words that they also hurled at the Negroes. “My friends call me brother, and there is great truth to that,” he said.

Fausto had no recollection of visits to their house by Negro soldiers, though he remembered seeing two Negro men at his lelong‘s funeral. When his lelang died, he looked older than his sixty years. He always had snowy white hair as far as Fausto could recall. Each year had separated him farther from Batangas, but keeping a secret from his family for so many years had aged him, kept the memories fresh.

When Fausto’s lelong was dying, he took his wife’s hand and said, “Forgive me, Purificacion, for burdening you with silence and now the truth about your family.”

He spoke as if he’d just arrived amid the makeshift detention camps in Batangas. He was labeled an insurrecto, an insurgent, by American soldiers who found him outside the hastily drawn boundaries. Everywhere soldiers confiscated possessions and destroyed crops, torched houses and rice-filled granaries. Black clouds blotted out the sun, and rolling green fields turned to gray as ash rained down on the camp. Ash clung to their hair and eyelashes, their bare arms and legs. Cirilo tasted smoke in the rotten mangos they were being fed. Exhausted and starving, he fell asleep to the squeal of pigs that were being slaughtered nightly and left to rot in their pens. When Cirilo asked what they had done wrong, an American commander accused the villagers of being guerrilla supporters. It was necessary, the commander said, to “depopulate” the islands.

Unrest plagued the camps. Men, propelled by the hope of either being released or spared death, turned on each other by identifying alleged rebels – regardless of whether the accused were guilty or innocent. Those singled out were held down on the ground, arms pinned behind their heads or tied behind their backs, mouths pried open, beneath the running faucet of a large water tank. “Water cure,” Cirilo called it. The American soldiers in their cowboy hats shoved the butts of their rifles or their boots into the prisoners’ bloated stomachs for several minutes while a native interpreter repeated the word over and over again, “kumpisal” in Tagalog to the prisoner and “confess” in English for the Americans’ sake. But many of the prisoners drowned.

The detention camps were overcrowded, with little food or clothing to go around. Malaria, beriberi, and dengue fever raged. American doctors treated the soldiers who fell ill, but neglected the sick prisoners. Everyone in Purificacion’s family died of disease. Cirilo didn’t know if anger or grief had kept him alive. He escaped with two prisoners one night, but not without having to grab the patrolman’s bayonet and smashing his skull. On his journey back to Ilocos Sur, he heard similar stories of detention camps and ruined villages. Some said the Americans were angry because the natives were ungrateful for their help in liberating them from Spain. Instead of welcoming them as heroes, the Americans complained, the natives were betraying them, hurling their bolos and hacking to pieces American soldiers who stepped beyond the towns they had pacified. They used spears, darts, and stones, but they were sticks compared to the American bayonets. The guerrillas were easily flushed out by the American soldiers like quails in a shoot.

Cirilo met a compatriot who had fled his hometown of Balangiga on the island of Samar. He told Cirilo that the American soldiers had rounded up the townspeople and crowded them so tightly into open pens that they could not move. They slept upright, leaning against one another. The American Navy fired on his village from their gunboats before they landed to invade. “They are turning our lovely islands into a howling wilderness. They cry out, ‘Kill and burn’ everyone and everything in their path,” he said. Another man who had escaped ruin in his hometown recited an order – like a drinking song, a motto – that he said had been handed down from an American general to all his soldiers in the field: “Everything over ten” would not be spared. Everything over ten.

“This is your America,” Fausto’s lelang told him, and slumped against the scarred wooden headboard of her bed.

“Things have changed.” Fausto’s voice faltered. “When I was in school—”

“Poor boy!” She sat up, spittle flecked on her lips. “Those kind American women in those American schools were not teachers. They were just another soldier, telling you what to do. How could I tell you then? Miss Arnold opened up the world for you. Education is good. But they came here for a darker purpose.”

“Lelang, Miss Arnold is not evil.”

“You are not listening!” She shook her head, her gray hair brushing her shoulders like a stiff mantilla. “You will never be accepted by the Americans because they will always treat us different. The Negroes in America have been there for hundreds of years, but they are still treated like criminals. Why go there with this knowledge?” The flame hissed as the melted wax pooled around the short wick. Her dark eyes were wet in the candlelight. “You think your father is ignorant, but he is not. American education made you smarter, but their schools erased our past, just as the Spaniards did.”

“Lelang, I am not ignorant.” Fausto got up from her bed, but suddenly felt weightless, unanchored. He held on to one of the thick, carved bedposts.

“I told this story only once before, to your father after your lelong passed away.” Her fingers kneaded her pliant cheek, skin shattered by deep wrinkles. She whispered, “Until that time, Emiliano never knew why his own father was so untouchable.”

“I am sorry for your loss.” Fausto’s words, his whole body was stiff. He pulled down the mosquito net from the four posters of her bed until she was encased in white gauze. She seemed so far away from him as she blew out the candle.

“We must make use of the bad times,” she called out.

He unhooked the curtain from her bedroom entryway and let it fall in front of him. “It will make me stronger, Lelang,” he said. He waited to hear her voice again. In the moonlight, wisps of smoke rose and disappeared.