Overcoming overwhelmed

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.
– Leonard Bernstein, American conductor, composer, author, music lecturer, and pianist

A comfortable outfit to ward off feeling overwhelmed: cropped sweater over a high-low flowing blouse, dark-rinse jeans, and platform sandals.

A comfortable outfit to ward off feeling overwhelmed: cropped sweater over a high-low flowing blouse, dark-rinse jeans, and platform sandals.

The other day I was reading an online article on the financial planning site LearnVest. I stopped dead in my tracks upon reaching this quote: “I kept waking up in a panic at 4 A.M. worrying – not only about all of the stuff on my to-do list that I hadn’t done that day and how much more there was to do, but also whether I was missing my life even as I was living it.” Wait! Did LearnVest interview me? That was me to a T, I told myself. Maybe I wasn’t waking up in a panic, but for the past month, as I have attempted to go to bed earlier in the evening, I have been waking up earlier. It’s as if my internal clock cannot program more than six hours of sleep. I open my eyes and am wide awake anywhere between 4 and 5 in the morning. And I’m conscious of what I need to do, what deadline is before me that day. Some mornings I wake up with a mental check list of what is going to happen that day; other mornings, I am filled with panic about a deadline.

The person being interviewed was, in fact, Brigid Schulte, The Washington Post journalist and mother of two, who wrote what she calls an “accidental” book, Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has Time, because she wanted to research why she and many of us are running ourselves ragged. In her interview with LearnVest, Schulte said the rise in overworking ourselves began in the 1980s. She referenced Katrina Alcorn, author of Maxed Out: American Moms on the Brink, who said that society expects us to work as if we have no children and to have families as if we have no work. I won’t go into the health consequences of being stressed out; we intuitively know the correlation between stress, overwork, and lack of sleep to chronic illness – we don’t need our fears to be validated with research and studies.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Luxe Revival reclaimed vintage necklace (Uncommon Objects, Austin, TX), Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings (El Cerrito, CA), and beaded bracelets.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Luxe Revival reclaimed vintage necklace (Uncommon Objects, Austin, TX), Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings (El Cerrito, CA), and beaded bracelets.

Schulte pointed out that in our rat-race society, we look down on the pursuit of leisure, which she says we equate to being lazy. “We clearly have lost all sense of its value as we’ve gotten wrapped up in busyness and the feeling that we always have to be ‘productive’ and ‘doing’ something,” she lamented. I slunk in my office chair, guilt warming over me. I’m one of those people touting always being productive. In my defense, I don’t believe in always doing something for the sake of being in motion, for the sake of not being at rest (on the couch, that is). After all, motion is only worth it if it enables you to check something off of your to-do list. Insert self-conscious laughter here. I’ll admit that for the longest stretch I could not sit down and read because there was way too much to do and I couldn’t bear for the world to keep moving on without me. As I have gotten older, the notion that I have less time to do what I need to do, which results in me going into overdrive, has interfered with what I actually need and want to do. Reading is an activity that makes me a better writer and enriches my mind on so many levels, but the act of sitting down and not producing something, not having something tangible to show for being at rest, if you will, was unacceptable to me. Thankfully, I have overcome that silliness, but it points to the affliction that we can’t seem to find a cure for.

Play with lengths, height, and color. You can venture into cropped top territory with sheer blouses.

Play with lengths, height, and color. You can venture into cropped top territory with sheer blouses.

Defining leisure
Schultze makes the case for embracing leisure, which is connected to creativity, problem solving, and the birth of civilization – the creation of art, philosophy, science, history, and so on. She wants us to recapture the value of play and break the bonds of stress and overwork. That to-do list? Don’t do it. In fact, don’t make a to-do list. That’s what I got from the interview. I’m sure the book has other tangible best practices. But I don’t have time to read it. I already know why I’m overwhelmed. I understand what I can and can’t change, even if that understanding doesn’t bring full-blown serenity. I have to work full-time for the time being, but I don’t have to let job demands kill me. If sleep deprivation negatively impacts my productivity and quality of my day job, then I make the decision to get more hours of sleep. It took a while to come to that realization and it took failing health to get to that point, but I learned my lesson. Telling me to chuck my to-do list is not an option. Now that I’m well rested most of the time, I get a lot more done. When I see all those check marks on my to-do list, I am buoyed and the sense of being overwhelmed is greatly mitigated. And I end up having “free” time, otherwise known as leisure time.

But let’s define leisure. If you had free time, defined as time in which you are not doing work for your day job, whatever that may be, what would you do with it? Some people may not think weeding is leisure, but when I am in my side yard weeding and pruning, I enter a Zen-like existence that actually insulates me from the worries that are waiting for me in my home office. It’s just me and the garden, which offers me both singular focus and an openness that allows my mind to wander. I welcome physical activity, and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I stand up and survey my tidy yard.

Tie colors together with splashy platform sandals and bring in vintage touches (reclaimed vintage matchbox necklace and my own early 1990s vintage Talbots equestrian-style crossbody bag.

Tie colors together with splashy platform sandals and bring in vintage touches (reclaimed vintage matchbox necklace and my own early 1990s vintage Talbots equestrian-style crossbody bag.

If I didn’t have my blog and my fiction writing, I would have more time to garden and to organize my disorganized home. I’d go to more of my kids’ sporting events. I’d be able to watch television – these days mostly just Major League Baseball games – but without multi-tasking – ironing, paying bills and reconciling check registers, responding to e-mails. I would just sit and watch. Am I sad that I can’t do that? I sneak in singularly focused activities every once in a while. But as Robert Frost, one of my favorite poets, wrote in his famous poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, “But I have promises to keep/And miles to go before I sleep.” So long as they are the things I really want to do, I am okay with staying up a little longer than I should, multi-tasking to get them done. So long as what is overwhelming me is about what I want to do – in my current case it is feeling overwhelmed at starting a new novel – and I take it as a call to action, I can live with that. By all means, mitigate being overwhelmed at work, but  make sure that what you are doing with the rest of your day, your life, is what you want to do and what brings you joy.

The ‘Delano Manongs’ and the importance of historical accuracy

The most effective way of destroying people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.
– George Orwell, English author and journalist

Filmmaker Marissa Aroy introduces her documentary to a standing-room-only crowd.

Filmmaker Marissa Aroy introduces her documentary to a standing-room-only crowd.

Having missed the “Delano Manongs” at the CAAMFest 2014 (Center for Asian American Media Film Festival) in Oakland in March, I was so happy to be given another chance to see Emmy Award-winning filmmaker Marissa Aroy’s documentary about the Filipinos’ contribution to the Delano grape strike of 1965. The Manilatown Heritage Foundation hosted the screening of “Delano Manongs: Forgotten Heroes of the United Farmworkers” at the International Hotel Manilatown Center (868 Kearney Street, San Francisco, CA 94108, mfg@manilatown.org) last Saturday afternoon. Marissa brought to the forefront the “buried” history of the manongs, a term of endearment for the older Filipino bachelors who came to the U.S. in the 1920s to work in the agricultural fields and subsequently struck for higher wages and better work conditions in the Delano vineyards in September 1965, in the heart of the Central Valley of California.

After the 30-minute screening, two local social justice organizers joined Aroy on a Q&A panel. Audience members wanted to hear Aroy’s take on Diego Luna’s biopic, Cesar Chavez, which was released in March. I haven’t seen the feature film, but many in the audience had. I trust the reports that they reported – that the Filipinos were pushed to the background and that the plucky, straight-shooter Filipino labor leader, Larry Itliong, was also relegated to second-class citizen status in the movie despite the fact that Itliong organized the original strike and convinced Chavez to join. In particular, Filipinos were outraged that in the pivotal scene in which the growers finally sign the union contracts Larry Itliong was in the crowd witnessing the signing and not being recognized as one of the negotiators who got the growers to sign in the first place. In reality, Itliong was seated at the table, alongside the growers and Chavez. Critics responded that the Filipinos were being petty, quibbling over an “insignificant” detail as the placement of Larry Itliong in a movie that was, after all, about Cesar Chavez.

Marissa addresses questions about historical accuracy in films.

Among other topics, Marissa addressed questions about historical accuracy in films.

Here is where I call foul. If the detail is inconsequential, why bother deviating from historical truth? When a historical movie deviates from the truth several times, viewers, especially those knowledgeable about the events and the time period, begin to distrust both the person telling the story and the story itself. And those who don’t know the history subsequently accept what they see as the truth. Marissa was asked about that particular scene in which Itliong was placed in the crowd and not at the table. She said she could only conjecture, but from a filmmaker’s perspective, she thought that a stronger, more outspoken character like Itliong – who was sporting a goatee, dark-rimmed glasses, and a cowboy hat at the signing – would “take away” the spotlight from the quieter figure of Chavez and therefore would not be placed prominently in the scene.

Critics again say it’s not about Itliong or the Filipinos. And again, indeed, the movie Cesar Chavez is not. They say, tell your own story. And so Marissa has – she spent five years making the documentary. That’s why it’s important to have a movie like the “Delano Manongs” in circulation. It demands to be seen with a greater distribution. Luckily for us all, Marissa reported that the documentary, which has been shown in limited engagements thus far, will be aired on PBS stations in 2015. But we can’t wait until next year to talk up this documentary and its insistence on recognizing the contributions of the Filipinos to the UFW. Those of us know the truth need to relentlessly educate those who don’t. For me, that’s part of the reason I wrote my novel, A Village in the Fields.

There has been talk of systematic and subtle – to the unassuming public, that is – erasure of the Filipinos from UFW history. It’s sinister in its subtlety. It shows that the gatekeepers of the legacy of the UFW and Chavez feel threatened by the legacy of the Filipinos, which shouldn’t be the case. When we are united against an evil, as was the case with the farm workers fighting against human rights violations, we win. When we break down within, we all lose. So it is with the retelling of this period in time. It’s a disservice to American history to rewrite any part of our national history. Think of Orwell’s words. Give credit where credit is due. The Filipinos started the Delano grape strike and they were instrumental in the creation of the UFW and in the victories gained at the bargaining table. Do your own research. Watch the “Delano Manongs” and spread the word. The truth.

Ripe Ribier grapes in September - the jewels in the fields.

Our own grapes of wrath.

Tana Hakanson, artist: forthcoming open studio and a bright future

A painting requires a little mystery, some vagueness, and some fantasy.
– Edgar Degas, French artist in painting, sculpture, printmaking, and drawing

Tana in her studio talking art.

Tana in her studio talking art.

Last May 2013, I profiled my good friend and artist Tana Hakanson, who had her second showing in as many years with the East Bay Open Studio, sponsored by Pro Arts, in June. Tana sold 21 of the 24 paintings she had on display. “I was really surprised and pleased with the response from last year’s Open Studio,” she said. Going out on her own this year, she will be hosting her 3rd Open Studio the weekend of May 17-18, 2014 (1633 Mariposa Street, Richmond, CA 94804) from 10AM to 6PM.

Tana came away from last year’s event with rave reviews from all who came to view her art. “People were really responding to the work that I most enjoyed doing, which was working with fluid paint,” she pointed out. “That’s what I wanted to do more of, so I’m very happy.” Tana is doing more of this type of painting – working with “liquidy” paint that focuses on harmonization of colors and natural forms occurring as part of the process. Tana paints layer upon layer of oil paint, manipulating and working with the wet paint and then letting each layer dry. She works on up to six paintings at the same time. While the process sounds straightforward, it’s quite challenging. When the composition isn’t working to her satisfaction, Tana paints over the canvas and starts from scratch.

A close-up of one of five paintings in Tana's sidewalk cracks series.

A close-up of one of five paintings in Tana’s sidewalk cracks series.

Last year, for example, she started a series of five paintings based on a photograph she had taken of sidewalk cracks. The photograph itself was framed to create the composition. On the canvas, however, the cracks – made by squeezing paint from the tube in thick lines created such a stark composition that it overtook the piece. Departing completely from her original idea, she added more layers until the colors of three of the paintings resembled rust or corrosion, natural processes that Tana seeks to emulate in her paintings. “I really love the texture of natural processes such as oxidation and patterns created by the movement of water and wind,” she explained. “The painting process makes me feel connected to the energy of natural processes, which makes me feel so alive.”

Strong colors smolder on the canvas.

Strong colors smolder on the canvas.

Big ideas, big plans
While Tana carves out time for painting – Fridays are her days off from her administrative day job so she can paint within a block of uninterrupted time – she has started thinking about marketing plans. She plans to eventually seek out gallery representation, and is working toward creating a website to reach a wider audience, as well as putting together an Etsy site. There are also other online venues to pursue.

Close-up of textures in Tana's painting.

Close-up of textures in Tana’s painting.

The problem for any painter who is also a mom with a day job is trying to find the time to not only paint but market. Since selling most of her paintings last summer, Tana needs to build up her inventory again before she can host open studios and offer up paintings for an Etsy site or other e-tailer. So while most of her time is devoted to painting, she doesn’t have time for marketing. While having to deal with that Catch-22, Tana remains optimistic.

Waves and foam.

Waves and foam.

While she continues to paint and get ready for her open studio, Tana is getting her artwork out into the public. Check out Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar (6925 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.4709), where some of her paintings are currently on display until May 15. She is also working to get her paintings exhibited in other local venues as well.

A close-up of Tana's painting reveals palpable texture.

A close-up of Tana’s painting reveals palpable texture.

Tana hopes to gain more time for her artwork in the future. “I really need to disconnect from everything and have large blocks of time – time that is hard to come by,” she said. When she’s in the throes of painting, Tana is in her element: “When I paint, it makes me feel so alive. I’m enthralled by color and texture…the vibrancy of these elements resonates inside like a moving piece of music, forming an internal landscape – a garden of feeling from which to nourish.”

One of Tana's fluid paintings.

One of Tana’s fluid paintings.

When in Vegas: Get and stay happy, Part 2

Happiness is a choice.
– Shawn Achor, social psychologist and author

Shawn Achor as opening keynote speaker at my Vegas conference this past Sunday.

Shawn Achor as opening keynote speaker at my Vegas conference this past Sunday.

So now that we know we can choose to be happy, per Shawn Achor’s opening keynote at the Vegas conference that I attended earlier this week, the question remains: How do we start to make change in our lives to be happy or happier and track those changes to stay on that path? I have yet to read Achor’s two books, The Happiness Advantage (2010) ) and Before Happiness (2013), but he did a great job presenting the latter book by offering his 5 habits of practicing happiness, which he called the building blocks for changing our genetic and environmental set point for the better.

Three gratitudes
Achor entreats us to write for 21 days straight three things that we are grateful for. People know that gratitude is good for us, but social scientists have conducted studies to show that people can learn how to be optimistic – called “learned optimism” from the book of the same name and a concept developed by Dr. Martin Seligman, American psychologist, educator, and author. His studies have shown that even pessimists can evolve to become low-level and even high-level optimists – no matter your age. Octogenarians have experienced this result, proving that “45 seconds of thinking of three things you’re grateful for each day can trump not only your genes, but eight decades of experience,” Achor said. At dinnertime, our family goes around the table and each member talks about the “rose and the thorn” of his or her day. Not quite three gratitudes, but something along the same lines of recognizing what we are grateful for in our day and in our lives.

Chuhily glass ceiling at the Bellagio Hotel's lobby.

Chuhily glass ceiling at the Bellagio Hotel’s lobby.

The Doubler
Spend two minutes writing about a single meaningful experience in the last 24 hours, including as much detail as possible. Studies have shown that visualization is interpreted in the brain’s cortex as actual experience. Therefore, people who journal about positive experiences, for example, actually double the equal experience. When Achor talked about the “doubler,” I thought about my blogging. One of the reasons I started blogging was to get myself in shape as a writer, but I also found that blogging about striving for a meaningful, creative, full life kept my eyes on the prize. Even when I was grumpy, sad, lazy, or disinterested, I forged ahead, knowing somewhere inside that the writing exercise was good for me. And after I published blog posts when in these moods, I more often than not felt the better for it.

The Fun 15
Achor pointed out that 15 minutes of mindful cardio activity a day is the equivalent of taking an anti-depressant. I get on my wind trainer for 30 minutes a day, Monday through Friday, early in the mornings. I confess that there are many mornings when I would rather be doing something else or want to whittle down my set time. After hearing Achor talk about mindful cardio activity, I have tried to focus on what good I’m getting out of literally spinning my wheels. I do spend time on the bike plotting out my day because it makes me feel like I have a game plan and it makes me feel productive. But it doesn’t take the entire 30 minutes. Now I know to treat half of that time as a form of being more mindful, getting in touch with how my body is working.

Quiet time early in the morning: my room with a view at the Bellagio Hotel.

Quiet time early in the morning: my room with a view at the Bellagio Hotel.

Meditation
Find time to meditate. And if you can’t, here is a simple exercise while at work: For two minutes, take your hands off your keyboard and watch your breath going in and out. Achor noted that studies have shown that this exercise increased people’s accuracy of a task by 10 percent, created a significant rise in their happiness, and reduced the negative levels of stress that they were experiencing. I’ve always wanted to return to yoga, but for now, I can easily carve out two minutes in front of the laptop.

Conscious acts of kindness
Take two minutes a day to write a text or an e-mail praising one person you know. Do it for three days in a row. Studies have shown that, 21 days later, research subjects reported having a robust social network support and strong ties, as a result of having “deeply activated” those people from the communications. “Social support is one of the greatest predictors of happiness,” Achor declared. With so many work and school-related acts of violence in our society, imagine if we had help from experts and internal leadership to deepen our social connection within those institutions. “It trumps everything else you can do,” Achor emphasized.

Another Vegas worthy frock: oxblood vegan leather dress.

Another Vegas worthy frock: oxblood vegan leather dress.

How to keep going: the goal is closer than you think
Sometimes starting out is easy, but continuing is the rub. Achor pointed out that we can speed toward our goals by highlighting the progress we’ve already made.  He was recently asked by an NBA team how to motivate its players for the play-offs. “If you tell the team they’re at the start of the play-offs, that’s exhausting,” Achor noted. “But if you talk about how they’re at the end of the season and highlight their victories of the past couple of years and what got them to this point, they perceive the progress and they perceive being closer to the goal.”

To-do lists are good tools that lead us to our goals, but Achor advises not to start our list at the current status quo because we’ll be overwhelmed by the number of tasks yet to be done. Instead, include what we have already accomplished. By highlighting accomplishments, we create what social psychologists call a “cascade of success” and get closer to our goals. When people exercise in the morning, for example, they feel that they’ve done something successful and it cascades into the next activity. Studies have found that people who exercise in the morning are better at doing their in-box in the middle of the day, according to Achor. This is absolutely true for me. Before I even take a shower and walk my daughter to school by 8:30 AM, I respond to work e-mail, do a core and hand weight exercises, walk Rex or 25 minutes in the neighborhood, and spin on my wind trainer for 30 minutes. With each morning routine I get out of the way, I feel like I have done a lot and feel the rush of accomplishment by the time I sit at my desk to work.

Vintage Kramer rhinestone earrings, Sundance ring, and J. Crew chunky necklace.

Vintage Kramer rhinestone earrings, Sundance ring, and J. Crew chunky necklace.

Achor entreats us to “cancel the noise.” Especially in this technology-driven world that we live in, more and more our brains are getting overwhelmed from processing all the food of information coming at them, making it difficult to process anything new and stopping us from looking for positive changes in our lives. If we decrease the amount of noise, Achor contends, our bodies can relax. Therefore, he entreats us to carve out an hour a week where we don’t look at your mobile devices or other distracting things. “Studies have shown that a five percent decrease in noise actually boosts our ability to see the signal,” he pointed out. “A little foothold helps people believe change is possible.”

To make it easier to do something positive, Achor says, we also need to get rid of barriers to change, which he calls the 20-second rule, to create positive habits in our lives. Achor talked about sleeping in his gym clothes so that first thing in the morning he could go straight to exercising. My strategy is to have my exercise area all prepped so I don’t waste precious morning time setting up and potentially talking myself out of exercising.

Close-up of multiple textures: vegan leather, sparkly clutch, chunky chain and stone necklace, and faux snakeskin chunky pumps.

Close-up of multiple textures: vegan leather, sparkly clutch, chunky chain and stone necklace, and faux snakeskin chunky pumps.

Before we make changes to our happiness, success, or health, our brain first has to get over the barrier of what Achor called the activation energy. “If we can change that activation energy level by 3 to 20 seconds in any direction, I can stop you from doing negative habits or get you to start doing positive habits,” he said. Watching TV – depending upon what you watch, of course – is a well-known time sinkhole. According to Google, the average American watches 5.7 hours of TV a day. Achor used to watch three hours a day, thanks to a low activation energy of plopping on the sofa and hitting the “on” button on the remote control. He added 20 seconds to the activation energy by taking out the remote-control batteries and putting it in various places. It took too much energy to remember where he had put them and then to retrieve the batteries. At the same time, he also put books, his journal, and work on the sofa, and his guitar and its stand in the living room. “I made myself less time efficient,” he explained. By adding 20 seconds to his bad habit, he regained two conscious hours a day or 14 hours by the end of the week. “That’s an entire conscious day I got back,” he exclaimed. Now he only watches TV when it really matters. To create a positive habit, make it 3 to 20 seconds easier to start. “I took the path of least resistance toward the positive habit. My excuses actually went away,” he said. “It created a life-long habit.”

On a journey....

On a journey….

Ultimately, Achor said, “You don’t have to be just your genes and your environment. We can actually choose to have higher levels of happiness based on the choices we make in our lives.” On the other hand, he emphasized, quite emphatically, we don’t want blind happiness – that is, ignorance being blissful and being blind to suffering around us – or irrational optimism, which sugarcoats reality. Achor is enthusiastically advocating for rational optimism. “Happiness is not the belief that everything is great; happiness is the belief that change is possible,” he said. Achor reiterated his definition of happiness, which is one of the themes of Before Happiness: “the joy one feels striving for one’s potential.” It’s the journey.

When in Vegas: Get happy, Part 1

Happiness is a choice.
– Shawn Achor, social psychologist and author

My room with a view at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

My room with a view at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

One of the perks of covering industry conferences for my work is getting to listen to the keynote speakers. In the past nine years, I’ve been fortunate to have a chance to hear Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Freakonomics author and rogue economist Steven Levitt, journalist and New Yorker staff writer Malcolm Gladwell, and Atul Gawande, surgeon and New Yorker medical writer. I was in Las Vegas the past three days for a supply-chain management conference, and I had the serendipitous pleasure of listening to and writing about opening keynote speaker Shawn Achor.

Why serendipitous? Early last week I was feeling a bit down about having to endure the long and drawn-out process of sending out queries and waiting to hear back from literary agents. And even though I had just come off of a week devoted to working on my second novel (but with liberal interruptions from work), I was bemoaning how overwhelmed I felt about the amount of research the second novel requires and my lack of big chunks of time – well, time, period – to read, research, sketch and plan, and start writing. Meanwhile at work, I had to draft conference session summaries ahead of the actual conference. One of my assignments was to summarize Shawn Achor’s opening keynote based on a long bio that I was given. At the time, I had no idea who he was.

Shawn Achor's opening keynote.

Shawn Achor’s opening keynote.

For those who have never heard of him, Shawn Achor is a social psychologist and author of the New York Times best-selling books The Happiness Advantage (2010) and Before Happiness (2013) and host of the PBS special The Happiness Advantage with Shawn Achor. He is one of the world’s leading experts on the connection between happiness and success, and his positive psychology lecture is the most popular class at Harvard University, where he teaches. He founded GoodThinkInc. in 2007 to share his research on happiness, which has earned him numerous accolades, including gracing the cover of Harvard Business Review.

Achor presented a TED talk that garnered four million views and his PBS-aired lecture was seen by millions. He has lectured or researched in more than 50 countries, with his audiences including Chinese CEOs and South African school children. He worked with the U.S. Department of Health to promote happiness and the National MS Society and Genzyme in 2012 on their Everyday Matters campaign to show how happiness is a choice for chronically ill patients. He earned his master’s degree from Harvard Divinity School in Christian and Buddhist ethics, conducts psychology research on happiness and organizational achievement in collaboration with Yale University and the Institute for Applied Positive Research, and teaches in the Advanced Management Program at Wharton Business School. I’ve added him as another multi-talented person to admire, next to John Halamka.

My hotel floor hallway, reminiscent of The Shining....

My hotel floor hallway, reminiscent of The Shining….

Choosing happiness
This is Achor’s second appearance at this conference. Two years ago, he shared his research on the connection between happiness and success, which was the topic of his first book. In his opening keynote this year, Achor discussed the precursors to happiness and success, which he chronicles in Before Happiness, and highlighted what we need to change in our reality in order for us to have long-term, sustainable happiness, success, creativity, and higher levels of performance.

While humans have genetic predispositions, Achor emphasizes that “happiness can be a choice.” According to Achor, we need to get the human brain to change and recharge through activities such as activating our “mirror neurons” that in turn increase our levels of dopamine, which raises our level of happiness and joy. For example, when someone smiles at you, mirror neurons in the brain are activated, causing you to smile. Achor worked with New Orleans hospitals post-Katrina to reverse the view of hospitals as places of sickness and disease. Other industry business models were reviewed, in particular, the five-star hotel experience for customer service – called the 10-5 way – developed by the Ritz-Carlton. When patrons are within 10 feet, staff members offer them a smile. When they are within five feet, staff members say hello.

The Bellagio Gardens, near Michael Mina's restaurant, where me and my team dined on "innovative seafood."

The Bellagio Gardens, near Michael Mina’s restaurant, where my team and I dined on “innovative seafood.”

Within six months of implementing the 10-5 way, a group of hospitals reported a significant rise in the number of unique patient visits, a spike in the likelihood of patients to refer the facility based on the quality of care they received, and high levels of physician engagement. A one-second behavioral change created multiple quantitative benefits, but the intangible and qualitative benefit – happier patients and staff – is arguably the most important one. “We are socialized for reciprocation,” Achor explained. Despite our individuality, human brains are wirelessly connected and through continuous loops of creating positive experiences, humans can experience “neuroplasticity,” which allows us to change our behavior.

On the flip side, being around stress and negativity is comparable to inhaling second-hand smoke, according to Achor. Studies have been conducted, for example, in which a researcher stood among 15 strangers in an airport or train station. The researcher began nervously bouncing in place, tapping his foot and constantly looking at his watch. Within two minutes, between seven to 12 people on average began to unconsciously mimic his behavior. Achor encouraged the audience to try out the experiment at the Vegas airport on our way home, joking that we would be spreading stress and negativity.

The positive, engaged brain
The Harvard Business Journal article, in which Achor was profiled, concluded that “the greatest competitive advantage in the modern economy is a positive, engaged brain.” Gallop found that only 25 percent of our job successes is based on our intelligence and technical skills. Three other elements comprise the remaining 75 percent – your optimism or the belief that your behavior matters; the breadth, depth, and meaning of your social support network and relationships; and lastly, the way you perceive stress. Today, at a time when many industries, including healthcare, are undergoing significant changes and transformations, how do we remain resilient, especially when change is often perceived as a threat, which in turn creates stress?

A strapless H&M dress and chunky heels worthy of Vegas.

A strapless H&M dress and chunky heels worthy of Vegas.

While stress creates havoc mentally, emotionally, and physically, moderate to high levels of stress have also been known to induce the body to release growth hormones that actually rebuild cells, create a robust immune system, deepen our memory, speed up cognitive processes, and deepen our social bonds. The military, Achor pointed out, uses the boot camp to “onboard” its recruits to prepare for combat. The situational stress creates “a shared meaningful narrative” that bonds the recruits. “That’s the message we don’t get amid massive change,” Achor said. Stress can be a “growth-producing opportunity” and the “glue that keeps people and organizations together for decades.”

While, obviously, people respond to stress differently, Achor contends that we can learn how to view stress in a positive way. During the banking crisis, UBS employees taking an online course saw YouTube videos that offered two different paths to handling stress – fight or flee from threats or understand the effects of stress on the human body and leverage that knowledge to treat stress as an enhancement. Six weeks later, employee stress levels remained the same. According to a self-reported survey, however, 23 percent of the employees reported a drop in health-related symptoms usually related to stress and 30 percent of them experienced an increase in their productivity. Stress is inevitable, but negative effects on the human body are not, Achor stressed. (This reminds me of the Buddhist adage, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”) We can view changes that are occurring in the world as challenges and not threats.

Carmela Rose necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, Personal Pizazz earrings (Berkeley, CA), sterling silver cuff (Portland, ME), and my 50th birthday present from David, Tiffany ring (Las Vegas).

Carmela Rose necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, Personal Pizazz earrings (Berkeley, CA), Se Vende Hill Tribe sterling silver cuff (Portland, ME), and one of my 50th birthday presents from David, Tiffany ring (Las Vegas).

Trumping nature and nurture
Many people assume we are hardwired by nature and molded by our early years, and therefore, the average person doesn’t fight their genes, which studies have shown. A researcher who was part of a well-known study of identical twins found that 80 percent of long-term happiness is predicted by one’s genes (he has since recanted that finding, according to Achor). While the researcher was only half-right, Achor contends that he is wholly wrong. One woman who was an identical twin told Achor that while both she and her twin had grown up very negative she was more optimistic than her twin. She had been involved in a terrible car accident as a teenager. She thought she was going to die but didn’t, which instilled in her a new outlook on life. What’s incredible, Achor notes, is that it wasn’t a positive change but post-traumatic growth that caused her to deviate from her genetic set point. “If we can change for the better with trauma, how much so can we change with something positive?” he offered to us.

“People think happiness is complacency, so we stop,” Achor noted. “Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change; happiness is the realization that we actually can.” He defines happiness in terms of positive psychology, based on the ancient Greeks, and informed by Christian and Buddhist ethics, which he studied at Harvard’s Divinity School: “Happiness is the joy that we feel striving toward our potential.” If happiness is just pleasure, it’s short lived and it dies almost immediately, Achor said. If “happiness” doesn’t have a meaning component, it can’t be sustained. “But joy is something you can experience in the midst of the ups and downs of life,” he declared. “It’s on the way toward potential, so it’s growth-producing. It’s not stagnating, which is what complacency actually is.”

Change your mind set, look at the world differently
Achor is on a mission to get people to stop looking at happiness in terms of optimism and pessimism and instead to look at the world differently. Rather than see a glass as half-empty or half-full, for example, be creative in how we view our world and envision a pitcher full of water next to the glass. Expand your world. As you face the changes in your life, positive or negative, expend energy looking for ways to fill up the glass, which Achor calls an act of positive genius.

Silver and onyx accessories for black and cream.

Sterling silver and onyx accessories against black and cream.

Positive genius can be applied to multiple situations and groups of people, which can lead to widespread positive changes in, for example, education and the military. Studies were conducted in which students were given articles to read before having to complete a cognitive task. Half the class read an article about how intelligence is fixed. The other half read an article that stated that intelligence is malleable – people can change their intelligence all the time and can have different intelligence from one year over the previous year. After the students who read the latter article took the test, the studies found that, in aggregate, even the students with higher IQs did better on their cognitive tasks. They had the same IQs and genes going into the experiment, but they experienced a dramatic deviation based on the belief that change is possible.

Another study was conducted with soldiers who had to scale steep hills with heavy backpacks. One group of soldiers was primed to believe that change was possible and they became more positive about the task ahead of them. Once they scaled the hills and were asked to rate their experience, they deemed the hills as being lower and the weight of the backpacks as being lighter than they had anticipated. “What’s amazing is that the optimists were actually realists,” Achor said. “They were pretty accurate in terms of the approximation of the weight and the hills to be.” The other set of soldiers who were primed for a negative experience perceived the hills to be steeper and their backpacks heavier. According to the study, these soldiers’ brains “showed” them pictures of larger hills and heavier backpacks, which caused them to believe that behavior matters less and, as a result, they were more fatigued.

Lastly, Achor presented the findings by Harvard University social psychologist Ellen Langer, who conducted a study in 1979 of 75-year-old men on a week-long retreat. They were “transported” back to the year 1959; the only reading material at the retreat were magazines and newspapers from that year, they wore ID badges with their photos as 55-year-olds, and they could only talk about their lives up to that year. A separate group of 75-year-olds participated in a retreat for the current year of 1979. Langer wanted to prove a revolutionary hypothesis – that the aging process can be reversed if the mindset is changed. She measured all the things we think about that are unchangeable about aging – including strength, posture, and flexibility – at the beginning and conclusion of the retreat for both groups.

Next time I'm in Vegas, I'll pack this splashy dress.

Next time I’m in Vegas, I’ll pack this splashy dress.

In the aggregate, the 1959 group recorded a 10 percent improvement in eyesight and a 50 percent in improvement in memory. Recruited “naïve readers” were asked to examine photos taken before and after the retreat. They rated the 1959 group as looking three years younger in their after-retreat photos. Langer’s research revealed that the aging process is mediated by the way we perceive the world. “If we think about the world in terms of threats, if we think that we can’t change our intelligence, creativity, or the obstacles in front of us, or even the aging process, we start to see those patterns start to bear out,” Achor said.

But what if we approached stressful events as opportunities for growth and we believe that we can change and we can look at the world differently to our advantage? Achor entreats us to do so. Game on.

Stay tuned for Part II of choosing happiness on Friday.

Earth Day: honor your mother

You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. – Dame Jane Goodall, British primatologist, ethologist, anthropologist, and UN Messenger of Peace

H&M duster from their Conscious Collection and an antique Edwardian handbag from the Brooklyn Flea Market.

Being green with fashion: H&M duster from their Conscious Collection and an antique Edwardian handbag from the Brooklyn Flea Market.

Our household has always been good about not being wasteful. Well, we preach that way of life to our kids, scolding them when they take long showers or reminding them to compost the scraps of food left on their plates. But I can’t say for certain that they are mindful when we’re not around. One hopes that growing up with this philosophy carries over into their adult lives. I developed this habit because my parents made sure we weren’t wasteful – not because they were environmentalists but because they came from a country in which you didn’t have much so you didn’t waste much. I remember when we visited the Philippines for my second and last trip, when I was an undergraduate in December 1985. Toilet paper was in short supply and you were given one napkin at restaurants, which were tiny, thin squares, and none at all at mealtimes in the home. This made a lasting impression on me. (At our home, we use cloth napkins, and when the kids were babies, we used cloth diapers.)

Adornments: Double-strand bracelet by Anja Hakoshima, Sundance stack of rings, Eskell fan ring (Chicago), Carmela Rose earrings and short necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Kate Peterson necklace (El Cerrito, CA), and Lava 9 sterling silver cicada long necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Adornments: Delicate double-strand bracelet by Anja Hakoshima, Sundance stack of rings, Eskell Art Deco fan ring (Chicago), Carmela Rose earrings and short necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Kate Peterson long necklace with labradorite stones (El Cerrito, CA), and Lava 9 sterling silver cicada long necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Although we reduce, reuse, and recycle as much as we can, I always believe there’s more that we can do. For instance, instead of bringing store-bought bottled water to the ballparks and soccer fields, we bring our BPA-free water bottles. Though it’s convenient to reach for bottled water in airports and stores, especially when I’m lazy or in a rush, I make a conscious decision to forego bottled water. The less plastic, the better.

I joke with Isabella that she will not have to buy any clothes or jewelry because she will inherit everything from me, and until then she can always borrow mostly anything from me. She doesn’t fully realize what this means, but to me, it means not having to buy a lot of “fast fashion” that won’t last long or stay in style. And it will save both of us a lot of money. She’ll have vintage clothing and jewelry at her fingertips, and I’m discovering how green it is to buy vintage or reclaimed vintage pieces, which cuts down on buying clothing that had to be manufactured.

Pleated duster made elegant by lace and metallic pointy pumps.

Pleated duster made elegant by lace and metallic pointy pumps.

I was reading an article last month, though I can’t seem to find it for reference, about how the biggest negative impact on the environment that clothes create is the laundering of them. I was surprised by this fact, as I assumed that the manufacturing process expended a lot of resources and was therefore the most harmful aspect of clothes, as far as the environment was concerned. The author advised readers to forego washing items after one use, especially for dry cleaning. I engage in this practice more so because I’m lazy about laundering and hate expensive dry cleaning, but it’s nice to add that it’s better for the environment, too.

We are lucky to live in an urban/suburban area, near various modes of public transportation, the Bay Area Rapid Transit or BART, casual carpool, and AC transit buses. I work at home, so my carbon footprint is even smaller. We are also lucky to be within walking distance of our elementary, middle, and high schools, so the kids walk to school, with me walking Isabella to school, unless it’s raining or we are running very late. Hence, we don’t care that much about our cars, which are both Toyotas and by society’s standards, ancient ones at that. Our older car is 20 years old. We’ve been receiving letters from some agency, offering us a thousand dollars to get our polluting car off the road. I told the mechanic who was running a smog test on the Corolla a few months ago. He scoffed; the car was fine, passed the smog test with flying colors, and would last for a long time. It was better to keep it going than to have it rust in some junkyard, he told me. Point taken.

Textures: pleats, lace, and ribbed knit.

Textures: delicate rivulets of pleats, lace, and ribbed knit.

We try to find more ways to be better conservationists, but I think the most important thing we can do is to keep inspiring our kids, the next generation, to honor Mother Earth. The kids are old enough now that they don’t buy my threat that wasting energy is melting the ice in the North Pole and therefore shrinking the polar bears’ habitat. It used to work. It’s not hard to show them things like the dirty air in the Central Valley when we visit my hometown, how you can’t see the foothills anymore because of the smog from Los Angeles that has been trapped in the valley and building up for decades. I tell them that the Central Valley region has the highest rate of asthma for children in the state and probably one of the highest in the country. Those facts hit closer to home. They make a bigger impact.

The biggest impact we can make is to spread the word of protecting our world and its resources. It starts in the home, in our neighborhood and community, and on and on. Happy Earth Day! How will you celebrate today?

Antique, reclaimed vintage, and contemporary adornments.

Antique, reclaimed vintage, and contemporary adornments.