Category Archives: The Examined Life

The unexamined life is not worth living.

My literary vacay

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Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
– Henry David Thoreau, American author, poet, philosopher, naturalist, and leading transcendentalist

My library chair is calling me!

My library chair is calling me!

Not surprisingly, I have a stockpile of vacation and discretionary days, plus two floating holidays. Unfortunately, you can only carry over a certain amount of vacation and discretionary hours into the next fiscal year, which for my company is July 1st. When I checked my hours a few months ago, I realized I had to take time off. But when? There’s never a good time to take off because something is always due or meetings are scheduled either on the fly or weeks in advance. I understood that any time I would take off that wasn’t labeled “family vacation” was going to be writing time for me. I was not prepared to take a week off now, however, as such a chunk of time required activity that had to be productive, as far as I was concerned. I am not ready to sit down and write the second novel. But I am ready to sit down and read, conduct research, sketch characters, and plot storylines – all valuable, of course, and a precursor to actually writing.

The one thing I did know was that I did not want to take the same week off as my kids’ spring break. If I took off the same week they were out, I knew it would not be the “me” vacation that I so desperately wanted and needed. My kids were off last week. It was nice downtime for them. I am off this week, though I still have to push through some revisions, attend a meeting, write a summary, and respond to necessary e-mails. I scheduled an appointment with my acupuncturist to start the week off to be in a good place physically. In the weeks leading up to this week, I tried to clear off my home desk of tasks I needed to complete in order to have a clean work space and thus a cleared mental state of mind.

And thus yesterday so began my literary vacay. Note that I didn’t call it a stacay. Even though I’m going to be parked in my library chair with my tall stack of books on the Filipino-American War, pen and notepad, The Seven Basic Plots by Christopher Booker, cup of tea (now gone cold), and most important box of See’s chocolates for sustenance, I consider this a vacation where I am not really at home. These books will be taking me to another country, another era. I scarcely will feel or hear the crinkly leather seat I’ll be inhabiting.

My trusty companion, Rex, will show me how to relax.

My trusty companion, Rex, will show me how to relax.

I will admit that once I was ensconced in my library chair yesterday, with a fortress of books around me, I started to panic. How would I ever get through all these books, remember all the historical details? How much time would I need? How long would it be before I get to the point of writing, and then how long will the writing process be? Will it once again be a 17-year odyssey as it was for A Village in the Fields? When you’re 52 and you have a full-time job and two kids, these are natural questions to ask. Stopping and smelling the roses is an iffy optional activity. I am often aware of seconds, minutes, hours, and making all of those measurements of time count.

I allowed myself to flounder a bit while I figured out what I could do. I thought back to last year and the year before – how did I restart and finish the first novel? Somehow, those years are smashed together when I look back. Last year, I finished the novel, blogged three times a week, and had an insane work schedule, along with helping with my kids’ schooling and attending their extracurricular activities, at the expense of sleep. I had more energy and was younger, of course, in those 15 previous years. Am I smarter as a writer after having gone through this writing exercise? Yes. So that’s what I told myself to hang my hat on. I did it before; I’ll do it again. Better and smarter. Don’t think about time. Just keep going. It’s what makes me happy, so in true Zen-like fashion, I told myself to enjoy the doing.

I hear my library chair calling me. It’s gotten cold again and I must warm the old leather. And read. Take notes. Most importantly, dream.

Required reading list.

Required reading list.

Sleep experiment: in bed by 10PM

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Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.
– Mahatma Gandhi

Pajama-style outfits are still trending. Regal navy with cream piping is a more subdued and classical version.

Pajama-style outfits are still trending. Regal navy with cream piping is a more subdued and classical version.

I’ve been writing about healthcare information technology since 2003, and in that time I’ve had the honor of learning and writing about (and meeting thrice fleetingly) an industry icon who to me is today’s version of the Renaissance Man. John Halamka, MD, has more titles than a dozen people put together. He’s chief information officer at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, chairman of the New England Healthcare Exchange Network, co-chair of the HIT (Healthcare Information Technology) Standards Committee, professor at Harvard Medical School, practicing emergency physician, author, blogger (Life as a Healthcare CIO), board member of a nonprofit established by the Veterans Affairs Department, mushroom and poisonous plant expert to the Regional Center for Poison Control and Prevention, and farmer, who recently finished building a bridge and pier on his farm.

I have to catch my breath now. I have seen Dr. Halamka in action at conferences. He’s texting and reading e-mails while waiting his turn to speak at panel presentations, and completely smashing what one physician told me years ago that men’s brains are not built to be able to multi-task like women’s brains apparently are. When he breezed into our news room at our annual conference some years back, and everyone was in awe of everything that he does in so little time, he announced that he gets by on average on four hours of sleep. Ah-hah! I told myself. That’s his secret. He must possess that rare genetic mutation that was discovered in 2009. Sleep researchers found two DNA samples from two sleep study participants that had abnormal copies of the DEC2 gene, which affects circadian rhythms. These two women sleep study participants got by on six hours of sleep, going to be between 10PM and 10:30PM and getting up refreshed around 4AM to 4:30AM, ready to start their day.

Comfortable, easy styling with glittery jewels, clutch, and metallic pumps.

Comfortable, easy styling with glittery jewels, clutch, and metallic pumps.

For the longest time, I have been getting by on less than the suggested eight hours of sleep. Sleep deprivation was my middle name among my friends. It was the only way I could do everything I needed to do – get my work done for my day job, raise kids, housekeeping, get to my novel, do the volunteering for my kids’ schools, and more recently blog. I routinely went to bed around two and got up at six. During the busy season at work, I would routinely pull all-nighters and sometimes 48-hour work days and not show any signs of wear and tear the following day. And since that rare genetic mutation was discovered, I thought I, too, was in possession of that abnormal gene.

And then I got older and in the last two years I started feeling fatigued all the time. I would wake up exhausted. I thought to myself that it must be I was carrying my stress into my sleep. If only my four to six hours of sleep were restful and uninterrupted, I would be fine. I thought older people needed less sleep, so what was my problem? I thought I must be “going through the changes” and once that was over I would be fine. But I didn’t have years to endure to get back to my normal pattern. In addition to not getting restful sleep, it must be the food I’m eating, I deduced. My body must be changing and reacting to foods I have been eating for years. A couple of Christmases ago, I thumbed through a book that my brother-in-law had gotten for David’s parents called Wheat Belly. That’s it! I told myself. Gluten must be the source of my fatigue! I need to start doing food elimination to discover the culprit, if it’s not indeed gluten.

Dramatic Ben-Amun drop earrings (Personal Pizazz, Berkeley, CA) and my mom's ring.

Dramatic Ben-Amun drop earrings (Personal Pizazz, Berkeley, CA) and my mom’s ring.

A few months ago, I was telling my friend and mom’s group member, Mimi, about my fatigue and tracing it to food, and she didn’t bat an eyelash as she told me in her usual frank tone of voice, “How about getting enough sleep?” I tried to brush her off. I’m used to getting by on less sleep than most people. But I’m realizing it’s not true. And if a study published in December 2013 by Duke University researchers is any indication, I need to change my dangerous ways. The study revealed that women need more sleep than men and that the amount of sleep is more closely tied to health issues for women than it is for men. I know that sleep deprivation, especially long-term, damages the brain to the point that it resembles a football player’s brain that has suffered several concussions. Heart disease, blood clots, stroke, depression – stop! I didn’t want to hear any more of what I was doing to my body! I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

In the last few weeks, especially, I have been feeling exhausted upon waking up every morning – not just every other morning, as has been the case for several months. I’d been told that women should go to bed around 10PM because the two hours between 10PM and midnight were critical for women to get sleep. But, I sputtered upon hearing that fact, those two hours are when I’m full-bore doing multiple things – blogging, writing, folding laundry, catching up. But in recent weeks I have noticed how it is taking me twice as long to do anything. Those Duke University researchers discussed how women, who are natural multi-taskers, need their brains, particularly the cortex, which is the seat of memory, language, thought, and so on, to go into recovery mode so they could function properly the next day. What good was I if I had to take twice as long to work on my novel or blog? Pushing through was simply not going to work anymore.

Simple, easy, and comfortable - yet elegant.

Simple, easy, and comfortable – yet elegant.

So I began my sleep experiment earlier this week. Get to bed by 10PM and see what happens. I have to admit that I have not felt exhausted every morning. I didn’t manage to be in bed by 10PM two nights this week. I got to bed at 10:30PM one night and 11PM another night. The onset of fatigue on some of those days didn’t hit until midday. I was greatly encouraged by these early results. Some nights my body was ready to drop off to sleep that early. Other nights I tossed around, understanding that my body was not used to going to bed so early.

But I’m more alert and more productive during the day. I’m heartened by that immediate change. I tell myself that I’ll be able to get more done when rested than I would if I stick to my old ways. I have always prided myself on being healthful. Eat healthfully. Check. Exercise regularly. Check. I have never been good about sleep; sometimes, wrongly, wearing sleep deprivation like a badge of honor. I’ve thrown the badge away. While I wish I could be my version of Dr. Halamka, I realize I need to take care of my health first. The rest will come later.

Close-up: Only a few sparkling touches needed to complete this outfit.

Close-up: Only a few sparkling touches needed to complete this outfit.

Rubicon Programs: the movers, shakers, and changemakers

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We help them harness their strengths and dreams to begin the journey to change.
– from Rubicon Programs’ 2013 Annual Report

Rubicon offices in Richmond, CA.

Rubicon’s office in Richmond, CA.

The success of any program or organization relies heavily on the people who make things happen. And for Rubicon Programs, nonprofit provider of integrated housing, training, employment and mental health services (510.235.1516, 2500 Bissell, Richmond, CA 94804), there is no shortage of talented, motivated, and compassionate people. My good friend Jane Fischberg, president and executive director of Rubicon Programs, opened a window for me into her world and her big-hearted colleagues who provide so much support to the disadvantaged and disenfranchised people right here in our local communities.

Porschea gives two thumbs up for the services Rubicon provides for the local communities.

Porschea gives two thumbs up for the services Rubicon provides to the local communities.

Porschea Brown: a ‘bright, shining star’ with a ‘small bit of hope’
Porschea Brown, financial coach at Rubicon, went to college in Washington, DC, and was expecting to stay there, but the Richmond native found her way back home. As a girl, Porschea used to walk by the Rubicon office every day, although she didn’t know anything about the organization. As a young adult and concerned citizen, she began attending city council meetings, in particular the re-entry solutions group meetings, and met Rhody McCoy, director of Rubicon’s Economic Empowerment for Contra Costa County. She even attended these meetings when she came home on school breaks. Impressed by her dedication and commitment to the issues and the community, Rhody, who today calls her “a bright shining star,” invited her to volunteer at Rubicon. By then, she had already researched the nonprofit and likewise was impressed by its programs.

Porschea’s main concern was incarceration rates, particularly in her hometown. She was interested in Richmond’s realignment program for the re-entry population – the population she wanted to work with and for whom Rubicon was providing services. As a financial coach, Porschea provides income support, tax preparation, credit rebuilding, and financial counseling. Although she meets with clients to address their financial issues, oftentimes she is involved with discussions about their health concerns or what’s going on in their homes. “It’s holistic; we don’t just deal with people as it relates to their finances,” she explained. “As my supervisor has taught me – and I can see how there’s truth to it – everything affects your finances.”

Rubicon staff member offers help to a client (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

A Rubicon client comes in for his appointment (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

Porschea’s goal is to become the next Justine Petersen, the late former social worker and pioneer in community reinvestment in St. Louis who helped low- and moderate-income families purchase their homes through partnerships with local banks. “She took this for-profit attitude to work with banks, but the purpose and the goal was to work with a nonprofit and assist low-income people to become self-sufficient,” Porschea explained. Her interest lies in providing resource dissemination around credit issues for marginalized people – being the source for financial services, or, as she described it, “the walking 2-1-1 for nonprofits.”

Being from Richmond, Porschea noted that if she doesn’t personally know the people who come through the doors she knows someone who knows them. “There’s a small bit of hope in me that [tells me] something’s going to turn around for them,” she said. Although recently engaged to her boyfriend who lives in Washington, DC, and anticipating a move back there at some point, Porschea was quick to declare, “I’m not finished here yet.”

Porschea and Rhody are a dynamic duo for Rubicon (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Porschea and Rhody are a dynamic duo for Rubicon.

Rhody McCoy: paying dues through community development
Before joining Rubicon in 2010, Rhody had held a number of positions working on behalf of underserved populations. In San Francisco, he was site manager for a vocational program for at-risk adults. He made a “slight career change,” moving to the City of San Francisco Private Industry Council, where he was a contract specialist, in charge of a health program for African-American men. “I really got excited again about working in the community and having a bigger role than just running a program,” he said. “It was really about community development.”

That work led him to Urban Strategies in Oakland, led by Dr. Garry Mendez, Jr., executive director of the National Trust for the Development of African-American Men and well-renowned for his re-entry program development. Rhody went into San Quentin to work with “lifers,” putting together curricula on how to improve themselves, make use of the skills they learned inside, and develop relationships with community organizations. “It was just so innovative – incarcerated men were concerned about the community and developing systems,” he said. “It really motivated me to do this kind of work.” When Rubicon was looking for a re-entry program manager, Rhody interviewed with Rob Hope, chief program officer, who worked with Dr. Mendez. “We really resonated [with one another] and spoke the same language,” he recalled.

Rhody finds a lot to smile about in his work (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Rhody finds a lot to smile about at Rubicon (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Rhody doesn’t have far to look for what motivates him every day. “I have a lot of dues to pay; I feel I owe a lot of people some things, and it starts with my family, my children, my immediate family, and the community at large,” he said. “I’ve been blessed and privileged, and I had a lot of opportunities – some I’ve taken advantage of and some I didn’t. I have a lot to give back.” His motivation is nurtured by the relationships he has developed and continues to develop with the people who come to Rubicon, and by knowing that the organization and his colleagues are like-minded and have the same goal. “We focus on why we’re here,” he said.

Even when he endures difficult, “gut-wrenching” times in his line of work, Rhody is committed to having fun. “There’s a lot of resiliency in the people who we work with,” he explained. “Regardless of external things, their internal motivation just helps them hit the milestones when they get the support that they need.” Coming out of the recession, Rubicon has put up record numbers of getting people back to work. “The labor market changed significantly,” Rhody pointed out, “but people were still getting jobs due to the resilience of the staff and the people who come through those doors.”

Sarah Williams: celebrating small victories in a ‘very long journey’
Staff attorney Sarah Williams graduated from UC Berkeley School of Law with the desire to work in public interest or social justice after conducting expungement proceedings, getting first-time offenders’ record of criminal conviction dismissed from the state or Federal repository. She came to Rubicon when a former supervisor of hers from the East Bay Community Law Center told her about the nonprofit’s legal services. After working under a school-sponsored grant, Sarah was hired in July 2012 to lead the federally funded Promoting Advances in Paternal Accountability and Success in Work Program (PAPAS Work). What drew her to Rubicon was its model of tying in legal services with its other programs, whereas most legal services organizations are standalone. “I can provide services as part of a team,” she said. “There are a number of people working with one individual – they’re all here.” A client’s coaches for career, parenting, and financial issues are all under one roof, communicating with one another.

Rubicon's Sarah Williams and her dog, Oscar, who is a fixture in her office.

Rubicon’s Sarah Williams and her dog Oscar, who is a fixture in her office.

The re-entry population is difficult to serve, Sarah acknowledges. “It’s a very long journey,” she said. But there are victories to build on. Sarah worked with one determined client who was a driver for Domino’s Pizza but wanted a career. She helped the woman file paperwork to get her probation terminated, her felony reduced to a misdemeanor, and then the misdemeanor expunged. Her client had the support of her probation officer and career coach, and Sarah helped her write her letter to the judge. “She was young and made bad choices,” Sarah explained, “but she has done nothing but good since.” Motivated throughout the process and “setting the bar high” – getting probation terminated early is a difficult feat – Sarah’s client was “thrilled” with the outcome and now feels that she has “a much fairer chance to move on from her mistake.” She has since applied to the Stride Center (1212 Broadway, Oakland, CA 94612, 510.234.1300), a nonprofit social venture working to empower economic self-sufficiency for individuals and communities in the San Francisco Bay Area, with the goal of becoming an IT specialist.

Sarah reviews clients’ California criminal records, or RAP sheets, to determine their eligibility for an expungement down the road. While some may have to endure a few years of probation, she noted that “the promise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel is an incentive [for them] to keep doing what they’re doing.” For clients who have recently been released, the victories are small but important – showing up for workshops, making an appointment with a coach, figuring out transportation to make the appointment, getting the first job. It takes working hard, doing the right things, staying in touch, and more. “I tell them, ‘there’s no magic wand that’s going to make your past go away,'” she said. “People have to live with mistakes they’ve made, but there’s a way to move beyond them. We try to give a message of hope.”

Sarah credits her mother, who was the first in her family to go to college and became a lawyer who represents unions, with instilling in her the belief that “you can do good as a lawyer.” “Growing up seeing her help people so much really made me feel like I can go to law school and it doesn’t have to be all about making money,” Sarah said. “It can be about making a difference in people’s lives – using my education and my privilege in a positive way to make a difference in somebody else’s life.”

Another Rubicon client whom the nonprofit organization was able to help (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Another Rubicon client whom the nonprofit organization was able to help (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Editor’s notes: My profile on my good friend Jane, president and executive director of Rubicon Programs, will be posted Friday, April 4.

If you would like to make a donation to Rubicon Programs, click here.

Rubicon Honors 2014, Rubicon Programs’ annual gala, is set for this Saturday, April 5th, 6pm to 10pm at the Oakland Rotunda, 300 Frank H. Ogawa Plaza in downtown Oakland. Last year, more than 2,000 children in the East Bay were positively impacted by the work Rubicon Programs did with their moms and dads. This year, Rubicon Programs has set a goal of raising $200,000 to change the lives of 2,100 children who are most in need in our shared community. At the gala, come enjoy live music, wine reception, butlered seasonal hors d’oeuvres, sit-down gourmet dinner and dessert, and the live and silent auction. Individual tickets are $225 and a table of 10 is $2,000. You can purchase your tickets here.

Rubicon Programs: supporting and strengthening our local communities

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You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.
– Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, actress, and American Civil Rights Movement activist

Rubicon's headquarters in Richmond, CA.

Rubicon’s headquarters in Richmond, CA.

My friend Jane Fischberg, whom I’ve known for almost 22 years now, and I were discussing charitable giving over lunch back in January. While I knew Jane has been with Rubicon Programs (510.235.1516, 2500 Bissell, Richmond, CA 94804) for the last 17 years – she is president and executive director of the nonprofit provider of integrated housing, training, employment and mental health services – I didn’t know, but should have known, that raising funds is the “primary purpose,” as well as the most challenging aspect, of her job. Jane invited David and me to attend Rubicon Honors 2014, the nonprofit’s annual gala and fundraising event on April 5th at the Oakland Rotunda, which I accepted. When I brought up doing a profile on Jane and her work at Rubicon, we set aside time in March for me to meet her colleagues at their Richmond office. After being honored to hear their stories, I knew there were in fact three profiles to present – one of Jane (to be posted on April 4th) and two of Rubicon itself and the people who are the face of Rubicon (the second one to be posted April 1st).

More than 40 years of serving the community
Rubicon, founded in 1973 in Richmond, CA, was appropriately named, with its provenance being “a decision from which there is no turning back – the beginning of the journey to change.” The nonprofit’s mission is to “prepare very low-income people to achieve financial dependence and to partner with people with mental illness on their journey of recovery.” By offering a comprehensive set of services, which includes job placement, housing, legal services, and financial literacy, and offices in Antioch, Berkeley, Concord, Hayward, and Richmond, Rubicon is able to serve a significant number of people in the hardest-hit communities in the East Bay.

Rubicon was able to help many community members, including this client.

Rubicon was able to help many community members, including this client (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Indeed, from the 2013 Annual Report, Rubicon served 3,400 people last year. After receiving help with interview preparation, resume building, and local employer connections, 657 people – out of 883 people seeking employment – were placed in jobs, earning a collective $17 million. What is even more impressive is that more than a third had been incarcerated at some point in their lives. Nationally recognized, Rubicon is one of only five organizations in the country awarded a special federal grant to help ensure that parents coming out of the criminal justice system can provide financial and emotional support for their children, while staying free of the criminal justice system.

More than 300 families were placed in housing in 2013, receiving help with budget planning, affordable housing connections, and rental application. Eight hundred low-income East Bay residents accessed legal services in the areas of eviction prevention, disability rights, education, and advocacy. Substance abuse recovery, counseling, and medication management services resulted in a decrease of nearly 70 percent of psychiatric crisis visits by Rubicon clients burdened with serious mental illness.

A Rubicon Programs client works with a staff member (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

A Rubicon Programs client works with a staff member (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

Rubicon’s success is due in part to its integrated services delivery model (the other major factor is the staff, but more on that later). People who come to Rubicon – and indeed many of the residents in disadvantaged communities – don’t need just one social service but oftentimes several services across the spectrum. Clients typically fall through the cracks when they’re being referred from one agency offering a single service such as legal services to another organization that only deals with housing, which creates a siloed and alienating experience. The various divisions within Rubicon – Economic Empowerment, Mental Health and Wellness, and Legal Services – work collaboratively, which enables them to work with their clients holistically through one entity and to develop personalized programs for the greatest success and sustainability.

Rickie, "living and loving life clean," at two years of being clean.

Rickie, “living and loving life clean,” at two years of being clean.

Rickie Harris: ‘Begin the journey to change’
Rubicon’s tagline, “Begin the journey to change,” could not be more appropriate for a woman I met who took up Jane’s offer to a conference room full of people at the end of a meeting to talk to me about their Rubicon experience. Rickie Harris, who serves as a substance abuse intern at Rubicon, stepped right up. Rickie had battled drugs and alcohol abuse for 23 years, going in and out of substance abuse treatment programs for two decades. She would stay clean for three years but then go back out, while her mother – whom she gives credit for supporting her though the years – took care of her six children, three boys and three girls, now ages 19 to 28. Rickie kept coming back because her children “were worth it,” but the addiction was overpowering. It wasn’t until she reached a point where she was suffering from the “mental part of the disease” – losing her mind and talking to inanimate objects – that she realized she had to finally get clean and stay clean. But she also realized that while her mother and her children wanted her to stay sober, she had to do it for herself. She was ready to “make the changes and achieve the good” that she saw for herself.

Rickie at 5 years of being clean.

Rickie at 5 years of being clean.

Rickie is painfully aware of the “awful” state of her community, but it also is the source of her determination. “I used to be a problem in the community, but now I’m working diligently to become a solution,” she explained. Sober for more than five and a half years, Rickie completed four of the required certificates for substance abuse case management and dual diagnosis screening from Contra Costa College, with two semesters to go before graduation. She has worked hard, and earning straight A’s and making the Dean’s List without fail since 2010 has kept her motivated. “My mind is still intact,” she said, with pride. “I want more and more.” She will attend the University of California at Berkeley in the fall of 2015 to earn her BA in social work, with bigger sights set on earning her masters and PhD degrees. Rickie vows that she will return to the city where she was born and raised, and make a “powerful impact” for her fellow women and her community.

Editor’s notes: Rubicon Programs Part II will be posted Tuesday, April 1.

If you would like to make a donation to Rubicon Programs, click here.

Rubicon Honors 2014, Rubicon Programs’ annual gala, is set for next Saturday, April 5th, 6pm to 10pm at the Oakland Rotunda, 300 Frank H. Ogawa Plaza in downtown Oakland. Last year, more than 2,000 children in the East Bay were positively impacted by the work Rubicon Programs did with their moms and dads. This year, Rubicon Programs has set a goal of raising $200,000 to change the lives of 2,100 children who are most in need in our shared community. At the gala, come enjoy live music, wine reception, butlered seasonal hors d’oeuvres, sit-down gourmet dinner and dessert, and the live and silent auction. Individual tickets are $225 and a table of 10 is $2,000. You can purchase your tickets here.

March is Women’s History Month

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Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.
– Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, actress, and American Civil Rights Movement activist

Worn-out leather and jeans who well with vegan cut-out blouse.

Worn-out leather and jeans mix well with vegan cut-out blouse.

The National Women’s History Project‘s theme this year for Women’s History Month is Celebrating Women of Character, Courage, and Commitment. The Project honors 12 women whose lives and work serve as a source of inspiration for both girls and boys and women and men to make our world a more compassionate and more equitable place for everyone. In honoring these women and bringing their accomplishments to the forefront, the Project is making good on its goal of “writing women back into history.”

With that in mind, I thought a worthy exercise in honor of Women’s History Month would be to write a short essay on a woman in your life who exhibited character, courage, and commitment, and inspired you to do the same. For me, that’s easy – it would be my mother. Born in 1926 in the Philippines, she endured the occupation of her homeland by the Japanese in World War II, forced to witness such atrocities as the bayoneting of babies thrown into the air in the town square. “We looked away,” my mother had murmured when I asked her if the story my sister had told me was true. She worked to help put her brothers and sisters through school. She forsake true love and ended up marrying my father and coming to the States after the war. Instead of working to get her teaching credential here – she was a school teacher back home – she picked grapes in the summertime and packed oranges in the wintertime for decades, until she retired. She saved money like crazy, though she and my father didn’t make very much money, and we grew up never feeling poor, though we lived in a rural farming community. My mother instilled in my two sisters and me the importance of education, especially higher education, and being a good citizen. Those were the facts of her life, but there is so much more.

Boxy blouse, jeans, kitten-heel pumps, and clutch are an easy uniform to throw on.

Boxy blouse, jeans, kitten-heel pumps, and clutch are an easy uniform to throw on when mornings are hectic.

The day after my mother passed away on January 3, 2012, my old high school friend, Kimi, wrote about my mother in an e-mail to me in the early hours of the morning: “She was steel. Thin, lithe, wiry, graceful, resilient, unbreakable; tempered. She was beautiful, proud, determined, resolved, smart. If she had lived in a different time or place, if she’d had our opportunities, we can only imagine what she would have accomplished. But, she took the yoke and humble, coarse work that was available – and she lived her dreams through you. As an observer, and not the one grinding away to meet your mom’s expectations, it was always clear to me that she was very, very proud of you, Joyce and Heidi. She built the runway, you flew. She was happy. She felt accomplished. In the end, she achieved her dreams and she had a good life.”

I wrote Kimi back, accusing her of making me cry. What haunted me, what moved me the most of her words – If she had lived in a different time or place, if she’d had our opportunities, we can only imagine what she would have accomplished – still resonates with me as I think about Women’s History Month. My mother was at once meek and determined, dutiful and unrelenting, bearing burdens and yet strategizing for a better life for her family. Had she lived in a different time or place, had she been led to more windows and doors, she would have opened them and gone through. She would have built the runway and taken off herself.

Against a creamy cut-out blouse: Anthropologie statement earrings, stack of rings by Kate Peterson Designs (El Cerrito, CA), Alkemie scarab cuff made of recycled metal, and Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago).

Against a creamy cut-out blouse: Anthropologie statement earrings, stack of rings by Kate Peterson Designs (El Cerrito, CA), Alkemie scarab cuff made of recycled metal, and industrial Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago).

How many girls and women in the world today don’t even know that windows and doors exist? How many never realize they could entertain the crazy notion that they can build their own runway and take off or actually have a voice and the audacity to dream big and make good on them – as a result of the tyranny of governments and politics, religion, misogyny, and on and on? How do we as women, who are privileged and who have had our basic needs and more met, reach them?

When I think of all those questions and wonder where in those pockets and dark corners of the world those girls and women may be, I understand the desire to write women back into history, to use our voices, and shine the light on women’s accomplishments. These subversive acts  – which one day won’t be subversive, though we must always strive to be subversive when it comes to advancing girls and women – plant the seeds. And when we scatter them all around us, beautiful things will grow.

So what can we as individuals do? Nora Ephron entreats us to be the heroine of our lives. Do the small things in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our communities. Nurture and use your gifts for good deeds. Create windows and doors. Go through them, but make sure someone is behind you doing the same. Be compassionate. Be courageous. Be present. Be.

Mixing textures: weathered chambray, metal, nude patent, vegan cut-out, and faux snakeskin.

Mixing textures: weathered chambray, reclaimed metal, nude patent leather, vegan cut-out, and faux snake skin.

Lunafest 2014 – at last

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Above all, be the heroine of your life. – Nora Ephron, American film director, producer, screenwriter, and novelist

Ready for the VIP reception before the screening.

Ready for the VIP reception before the screening!

Lunafest, presented by the East Bay Lunafest Committee this past Saturday, was a rousing success. The traveling film festival is now shown in approximately 150 cities across the U.S. and Canada, up from 125 cities last year. Here’s what makes this particular fundraiser for breast cancer awareness and prevention dear to my heart, given that there are many honorable organizations and events supporting breast cancer education, screening and diagnosis, access to treatment, and/or research. Established in 2000 By LUNA, makers of the Whole Nutrition Bar for Women, Lunafest simultaneously promotes women filmmakers, raises awareness for women’s issues, supports local nonprofit organizations, brings communities together, and celebrates women’s creative spirits. Not to mention getting to know and working with the wonderful group of women, with diverse experiences and talents, who make up the committee.

VIP guests were entertained with jazz selections from this talented duo.

VIP guests were entertained with jazz selections from this talented duo.

Our VIP reception, which was held before the screening, featured a pianist and bassist duo, wonderful catered food and wine, and a cadre of eager and polite students from the IT Academy at El Cerrito High School (ECHS) who checked guests in, served food with a smile, and lit the way from the home of our committee chair where the VIP reception was held to the ECHS Performing Arts Center the next block over. We raised money through our raffle drawing, which included a GoPro camera, Kindle, Donkey & Goat wine set, Nikon camera, and more. Jeanne Rizzo, RN, president and CEO of the Breast Cancer Fund, couldn’t make it to our event, but she sent a heart-felt thank you via a recorded video message before the nine short films began.

Cupcakes and cookies were flying out of the Braxtons' Boxes' table, manned by Pamela Braxton and Zachary, her trusty helper and son.

Cupcakes and cookies were flying out of the Braxtons’ Boxes’ table, hosted by Pamela Braxton and Zachary, her son.

After drawing the winning tickets for the raffle prizes, attendees were treated to complimentary coffee (decaffeinated, of course) courtesy of Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar (6925 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510. 528.4709) and vegan, gluten-free ice cream sandwiches from Green Girl Bake Shop and cookies and cupcakes from Braxtons’ Boxes (510.708.7089). Two monitors in the lobby featured student films from the IT Academy, as well. It was great to see so many friends and acquaintances from the schools and community, and it was equally thrilling to see so many faces I didn’t know and to see the auditorium fill up. We ended up having nearly 300 people come to Lunafest this year.

Lisa Stoy of Green Girl Bake Shop sold out of her ice cream sandwiches.

Lisa Stoy of Green Girl Bake Shop sold out of her ice cream sandwiches.

And now for the movies: my mini reviews
The nine films chosen ranged from animation to documentary, from serious topics to lighthearted moments, to injecting lighthearted moments into serious subjects, from filmmakers from overseas – Norway, the Netherlands, Greece, and Australia – to the epicenter of filmmaking, New York. They also ranged in length from 21 minutes to under four minutes.

Here’s a brief summary of these award-winning films:
Granny’s Got Game by Angela Alford: “Seven fiercely competitive women in their 70s bond and play winning basketball, proving you are never too old to do what you love.” From the sound of the audience, this was a crowd favorite. How uplifting to cheer on these young-at-heart women who showed us how strong and spunky you can be when you don’t let barriers keep you on the sidelines, literally, and how that will to keep going feeds the fire.

Flying Anne by Catherine van Campen: “A young girl with Tourette’s syndrome takes ‘flight’ to navigate life with her tics.” This was the crowd favorite, according to our survey. I loved how the filmmaker put a face on Tourette’s syndrome. van Campen gave us all sides of Anne, making her multi-dimensional when many might only see the tics borne by this neurological disorder. I also appreciated watching her counselor play act with Anne to show her how to deal with people who don’t know about her condition. This led to her bravely explaining Tourette’s syndrome in an informal discussion with her classmates; she asked them to put their hands on their desks for several minutes and control their impulse to, for example, scratch their itchy heads. Hard, isn’t it, she asked them. I found two other scenes with her good friend Delano, who wanted to protect her and revealed soon afterward that he wanted to marry her, lovely and poignant – going in and out of industrial dumpsters in a field and holding one another as they went down a water slide in slow motion.

Sidewalk by Celia Bullwinkel: “A woman walks through life, confronts her changing body, and learns to love herself.” This fun animated short had many of my friends telling me after the screening that they were pegging where they were in their own lives in the depiction of a woman’s many stages of life as she walked down the sidewalk.

First Match by Olivia Newman: “A determined female wrestler prepares for her first coed high school match.” We got the chance to meet the young female wrestler, who now wrestles as a college student against young men, at the San Francisco premiere. She was impressive and her real-life determination was perfectly captured by filmmaker Olivia Newman.

Sound Shadows by Julie Engaas: “Enter a world where sound gives shape to space.” This short film creatively explored what sound looks like with the help of animation for a woman who is blind.

Maria of Many by Alexandra Liveris: “Meet Maria – Mexican immigrant, domestic worker, committed mom, and activist.” Liveris’ skill in this short film lies in being able to give us a glimpse of Maria’s multiple life roles in less than four minutes, but it’s a complete view, highlighted by scenes of her at work, with her two young children, and with the women’s cooperative that helped her to find her voice and courage in her adopted new country.

Running Dry by Dimitra Nikolopoulou: “A woman impacted by economic hardships journeys into contemporary Athens.” Although I had to run out for a few minutes and missed most of this short film, it was one of my favorites when I saw it at the San Francisco premiere because it revealed the largeness of the protagonist’s and community’s heart to forgive, to share, to bring laughter and joy amid trying times, and to persevere despite difficulties. And who didn’t have that zippy piano soundtrack running through their heads long after the film festival ended? In a good way, that is!

Date with Fate by Venetia Taylor: “When it comes to blind dating, some things are meant to be – whether you like it or not.” This short film, about a divorced couple who go to a matchmaking agency only to find out that they were matched to one another, had its laugh-out-loud moments.

Tiny Miny Magic by Danielle Lurie: “When Sam and her mailman exchange presents via her mailbox, an unexpected love connection blossoms.” I’m glad that the film festival ended with this selection because it was one of my favorites, if not my favorite. It captured Brooklyn so well, the premise was fun, and the actors – their facial expressions were spot on – were delightful. It is the type of ending to a film festival that leaves you buoyant, bouncing out of your seat and the theater – ready for your own tiny miny magic.

Luminous 1960s retro coat turned dress coat, which Laura Leventer of Personal Pizazz (Berkeley, CA) picked out for me. Thank you, Laura!

Luminous 1960s retro coat turned dress coat, which Laura Leventer of Personal Pizazz (Berkeley, CA) picked out for me. Thank you, Laura!

Perfect accessories to complement the vivid embroidery: Alkemie scarab cuff, Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings, and Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA).

Perfect accessories to complement the vivid embroidery: Alkemie scarab cuff, Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings (El Cerrito, CA), and Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA).

Underneath: lacy camisole and gleaming pleats.

Underneath: lacy camisole and gleaming, filmy pleated skirt.

Alternative viewing: With a vintage purse and creamy lace-up heels.

Alternative viewing: With a vintage purse and creamy lace-up heels.