StoryCorps: Everyone has a story that needs to be told – and recorded

I think the best stories always end up being about the people rather than the event, which is to say character-driven.
Stephen King, American author, from On Writing

When my family and I went to the Contemporary Jewish Museum (CJM) (736 Mission Street, 94103, 415.655.7800) in San Francisco for the first time in January, I discovered that it housed a StoryCorps recording studio. I’ve listened to a number of StoryCorps stories on National Public Radio (NPR) through the years, though not as much as I would have liked. Right outside the boxy, industrial hut of a studio, a grouping of ottoman-style chairs invited people to sit and watch animations on a flat-screen TV. The loop of recorded stories included one of the more famous stories – about the couple, Danny and Annie Perasa from Brooklyn and their remarkable love for one another that lasted decades, right up to his passing from cancer. As I quietly sniffled and wiped tears from my cheeks, an older man walked by and commented, “It gets people all the time.” And people’s lives are enriched by such stories.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

After we left CJM, I vowed to talk to my sisters and see if they would be interested in recording memories of our parents as a way of honoring them and preserving our family history. My middle sister declined, which came as no surprise to me she is a private person. My oldest sister Heidi was excited to participate. Now it was a matter of logistics, as she lived in San Antonio. When she booked her flight for the Christmas holidays months ago, I booked our appointment for StoryCorps.

About StoryCorps
StoryCorps was founded in 2003 by radio producer Dave Isay, with the idea that “everyone has an important story to tell.” One of the largest oral history projects of its kind, StoryCorps, to date, has recorded more than 51,585 interviews. More than 90,440 people have shared their stories. Nearly 35,000 hours of audio have been recorded since 2003. Storytellers are given a free CD of the recording to share as widely as they wish. The recording is then sent to the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress for posterity. Approximately 1 in 200 recordings are edited down to a few minutes and broadcast to millions on the Morning Edition of NPR. Currently, there are three storybooths Atlanta, Chicago (we saw the signs when we were there this past June), and San Francisco. A mobile recording studio also travels across the country capturing people’s stories, reaching more than 1,700 cities and towns to date.

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

StoryCorps has grown to offer special programs and initiatives. Since 2005, StoryCorps and the National September 11 Memorial & Museum have partnered with the goal of recording at least one story to honor each life that was lost in the September 11, 2001, and February 26, 1993, attacks through its September 11th initiative. StoryCorpsU is an educational, year-long, youth development program for students at high-needs high schools, dedicated to developing students’ identity and social intelligence through the use of StoryCorps broadcasts and animated shorts.

The Military Voices Initiative honors our veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan by recording and sharing their stories. The 18-month National Teachers Initiative honored the stories of public school teachers across the country. Latinos’ stories are preserved, thanks to the Historias Initiative, and The Griot Initiative preserves the rich stories of African-Americans. People with serious illnesses and their families have an opportunity to share their stories through the StoryCorps Legacy. Organizations have worked with StoryCorps on the Memory Loss Initiative, which seeks to preserve the stories of people who have a range of memory loss. And finally, The Alaska Initiative was a six-month program in 2008 and into 2009 that recorded the diverse lives of people living in Alaska.

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Preparing for our storytelling
I had notions of spending a lot of time thinking about what we would say, how we would say it, and how to organize and put our memories in a neat narrative. But, as one friend once told me years ago, “life happens.” Work, school and its extracurricular activities, kid sports, blogging, novel, and the dreary demands of housekeeping sucked up my life as it if were air.

And then suddenly it was a few weeks before Heidi was to fly into the Bay Area. We traded e-mails, disagreed on what specific memories to share. Heidi went onsite and pulled up lists of questions that are meant to draw out one’s stories. We needed to read how this would all play out. You are booked for an hour in the recording booth. After filling out a form, you are introduced to a guide who preps you and monitors the recording. Geraldine was our wonderful guide who put us at ease, as we were quite nervous going into the session and especially once we sat down at this small table and stared at one another with two sets of microphones intruding. At some point during the recording, I thought to myself, as Geraldine took notes for key searchable words, what a wonderful experience this was for her and all the other guides  to hear amazing stories (that’s the writer in me!) and to come away inspired and richer with every experience shared.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

What we talked about when we talked about our parents
The 40 minutes we were allotted for our free-flowing dialogue went by quickly. There were certain things we wanted to cover. What our strongest memories were of our mom and dad. Dad and his garden. Mom and her steadfast desire to ensure that we lived and prospered under the American Dream through her hard work of picking grapes during the summers and packing oranges in the wintertime. We talked about learning of Dad’s post-traumatic stress syndrome after he had passed away, when our uncle said that he was a happy-go-lucky guy until WWII. Heidi had revealed, for the first time to me, that he had once told her he had seen and done things he didn’t want to talk about again. When our uncle told us about his condition, it explained so much about his eccentric behavior all our lives. We talked about losing Dad on Christmas night in 1995 and the tense Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in 2011 when Mom was in the ICU for two weeks and then the acute-care facility for five weeks.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Our voices wavered, we cried. Yes, we laughed, too. And yes, it became a part of us. We remembered things differently. We talked as if we were 10 and 13  siblings acting like siblings even at 51 and 54, which is just a fact of nature and family. And then our time was up! Geraldine took our picture and more information. We made donations, had our picture taken with Geraldine, were given a book By Dave Isay of a collection of recorded stories. And then we said goodbye to StoryCorps’ San Francisco home of the last five years.

Your turn
Heidi noticed that the information board behind the counter announced that the StoryCorps recording studio would be closing December 13th, the very next day. We realized just how lucky we were to have made the appointment for that particular day, the evening after Heidi had arrived in town. We were told that StoryCorps would be making an announcement soon to let everyone know where the new location would be and that its new home would remain in San Francisco. That was a relief to hear! So I am letting you all know, my local friends and acquaintances, to book an appointment once the recording studio is set up. We are lucky to have a permanent studio in the Bay Area. Take advantage of its existence, its proximity. For far-flung family, friends, and acquaintances, if you are not near the other recording booths, find out where the mobile booth is headed.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

We all have stories to tell. We have memories and people family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to remember and honor, to make alive again through our words, through our voices. Storytelling is one of the things that I believe makes us human. We have such a rich oral history already, but to have our stories shared with each other at that moment in time, in that tiny booth with microphones and stacks of equipment seen out the corner of our eyes, and for many others to hear later and forever, that is an opportunity and a gift. Come together with family members or friends and record your story. I truly believe everyone should record his or her story for us all to hear. For when we steal away from our busy lives and quietly listen to these stories, our humanity grows evermore. And we find that our community expands to the ends of the earth.

“Tell your story, pass it on.”

The Dress at 50: now we are 1

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. If it takes a year, or sixty years, or five lifetimes, as long as we’re heading towards light, that’s all that matters.
– Jack Kornfield, American author and Buddhist teacher

This blouse and skirt was an Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can "scrunch." Fun.

An Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can “scrunch.” Fun.

A year ago this month, I launched The Dress at 50. My first blog post was my welcome, which I published December 8th and talked about my reasons for starting my “lifestyle” blog. In my first regular blog post, which I published a year ago yesterday, I waxed poetic about my love of vintage – in particular, a certain 1960s faux fur dress that caught my eye at Treasury, a wonderful little vintage shop in Washington, D.C.

Since then, I’ve published 151 posts, starting with a routine of posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Until recently, I reluctantly reduced my postings to Tuesdays and Fridays because I needed to spend more time with another goal of mine from last year, which was to finish my novel, A Village in the Fields. There were times when I struggled to find something to say, but more often than not, I had a lot to say and a lot to share.

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

One of the most satisfying things the blog has given me is the opportunity to profile some pretty amazing women, who have inspired me with their courage, creativity, entrepreneurial spirit, and generosity. I got to interview women who started their own businesses and heeded the call to do what they loved to do. In other instances, friends introduced me to women whom they thought I would enjoy getting to know and write about, which I did. What a gift that has been! I haven’t had the chance to do more profiles because of my work and my novel, but I hope to get back to publishing at least one profile a month. My profile of local proprietor Jen Komaromi of Jenny K got the most views ever, with a big spike the day it was posted, which speaks to Jen’s tremendous reach (thanks, Jen!).

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Another thing I have enjoyed is sharing my little trips within a business trip when I travel. It’s been my hobby to find one thing in each city I visit to seek out and write about. I have been pleasantly surprised to find such gems as the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh, which housed Rodin sculptures inside the museum and in an outdoor garden. I’ve met wonderful people along the way, many who have inspired me, including Carl, the proprietor of Vintage Underground in Chicago. My post “Plant a tree, have a child, write a book” continues to garner daily views, making it the most consistently viewed post.

This is not to say that I have a million followers and a million views a day. Quite the opposite! I reached 10,000 views earlier this month, of which I’m still proud. I have my loyal tribe – thank you, ladies! – despite not having the ability for people to comment, which I’m told is the death knell of blogs (oh well). I had fixed the comment issue, only to have it die on me again. I’m going to try to fix it next month (again), so stay tuned.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Topics have been varied, but I’ve tried to stay true to my motto of living the creative, meaningful, and full life. Whatever allows me to do so is fair game for a topic. I believe I was more introspective in the early months since launching the blog and less so now as a result of work and trying to finish the novel before the year is over, which has been a herculean task. Again, I hope to do more introspective posts.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), "vintage" Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), “vintage” Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Interestingly enough, while I enjoy dressing up, which instills a certain level of self-confidence, I’ve been living in a “uniform” the last several months of knit pants, oversized sweatshirts, and tennis shoes because I’ve been too busy and too exhausted to think about putting on an outfit. I hope to change that routine in the New Year, as well. I’ve enjoyed putting outfits together and seeing how the ensemble looks, and sharing them on my blog. I’ve been drawn more to jewelry of late than clothes and being more deliberate when I do find a piece of clothing that catches my eye. Longevity, quality, sustainability, classic timelessness are the traits that guide me as I wander my favorite shops and new shops. I hope to share those traits in future outfits that I feature in my blog in 2014.

Honestly, there were many times when I would conduct an interview, write a post, or publish the post and think to myself, wouldn’t this be a great day job. I still think that – a part-time job to being a full-time novelist, that is. But for now, I’m content to share what inspires me, what helps me fuel my creativity, and what makes my life more meaningful. Here’s to another year of The Dress at 50. Join me on this journey!

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Decking the halls

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
– Washington Irving, American author, essayist, historian, and biographer

Every season, we deck our halls at full tilt. I confess that when the kids were much younger, David and I spent more than 48 hours – straight, it seemed – putting up the decorations and by the end of it we were done with the holidays – and the loop of Christmas music, too. We did it for the wonder that we saw in our kids’ eyes and for recreating the kind of Christmas magic that we ourselves associated with the holidays. We also enjoyed the fruits of our labor – sitting in the living room and admiring the lights in the villages and on the tree, smelling the robust Noble Fir tree, warmed by the fire in the fireplace.

Where the family and Rex spend our evenings in December.

Where the family and Rex spend our evenings in December. Note the rustic sign on the armoire: “Bedford Falls, 5 miles” (a holiday gift from my college friend, Susan.

My beloved coffee table displays classic holiday stories, greenery, and a snowman-tree tic-tac-toe game.

My beloved coffee table displays classic holiday stories, greenery, and a snowman-tree tic-tac-toe game, another holiday gift from my college friend Susan from many years ago.

Now that the kids are older, decking the halls is much easier, and labeling boxes that tell us which building and character goes in which room has created quite the efficient process. We created an assembly line from the attic to the living room, and in no time, the halls were indeed decked. And the final ritual – which signaled that the season had officially started in our household – was taking turns showering snow over the villages. In the evenings, all four of us are on the couch. David is working on his laptop, I’m either revising my novel or writing my blog, and the kids are laboring over their homework. Oh, and we drag Rex’s bed and position it next to the fireplace, which keeps him from stretching out across the Christmas tree skirt. It’s a cozy ritual.

A cozy dining room.

A cozy dining room.

Time for a holiday dinner. Decking the halls inspires us to entertain.

Time for a holiday dinner. Decking the halls inspires us to entertain.

The Majestic Theater graces this village on our dining room sideboard.

The Majestic Theater graces this village on our dining room sideboard.

The kids have their own little lighted villages in their rooms, which they will take with them when they have their own homes. And we’ll slowly hand off the buildings and characters to them as the years go by. They even have their own small Christmas tree in their rooms with their own ornaments, given to them or made in school through the years. Our own Christmas tree is full of ornaments that we’ve collected, some as old as when I was in college. Some were gifts, some commemorated births and special occasions. Most of them hold special memories. We are missing a few years, but another tradition is getting a Swarovski star each year. The kids have their own birth years, which again, will be given to them when they have their own homes.

Our family's favorite village - the financial and city hall center - in our library.

Our family’s favorite village – the financial and city hall center – in our library.

A close-up of the village in our library.

A close-up of the village at night in our library.

We’ve had an open house one year and always have family and friends over to enjoy the decorations. Decking the halls and enjoying the evenings together is a cherished tradition that we know our kids will continue when they grow up. I’m grateful that they value it as much as we do. I look forward to the look of wonder and delight in their kids’ eyes when these old villages take up new homes.

A cozy corner in the living room.

A cozy corner in the living room.

My curated Santa collection, which includes the white Santa on the far right from a trip to NYC's Folk Art Museum when I was in graduate school, a small carved Santa from Krakow in 2002, and another carved Santa from a trip to Colorado and the Rocky Mountains in 1993.

My curated Santa collection, which includes the white Santa on the far right from a trip to NYC’s Folk Art Museum when I was in graduate school in 1988, a small carved Santa from Krakow in 2002 to the left of the white Santa, and another tiny carved Santa from a trip to Colorado and the Rocky Mountains in 1993 in the middle front.

The village on our kitchen sideboard is a food court.

The village on our kitchen sideboard is a food court.

Of course, there's a chocolate shop!

Of course, there’s a chocolate shop!

The kitchen village appropriately features restaurants and other food-related shops.

The kitchen village appropriately features restaurants and other food-related shops.

Chicago in winter: Return to Wicker Park

I must confess a shameful secret: I love Chicago best in the cold.
– Erik Larson, American author, from The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America

My room with a view during the day, Fairmont Chicago.

My room with a view during the day, Fairmont Chicago.

I had a quick business trip to Chicago this week and luckily the weather cooperated in that it was cold – appropriately so, which made for a festive holiday season – but not frigid and the fog and bit of rain did not create any delays either entering or departing the Windy City. Actually on Wednesday it was in the upper 50s and I was too warm in my toasty coat. But on Thursday it was 34 degrees and windy. I would not have wanted it any other way.

Night view from the 12th floor.

Night view from the 12th floor.

After my harried but delightful and fruitful foray into Chicago’s vintage shop cluster in Wicker Park, I vowed that upon my return I would seek other shops. I didn’t have time to do much research, however, and I enjoyed my time in the hipster neighborhood so much that I didn’t mind going back. It was not unlike returning to visit a friend whose friendship was forged at the first meeting.

Colorful eye candy at Vintage Underground, Wicker Park.

Colorful eye candy at Vintage Underground, Wicker Park.

Dazzling display case after display case....

Dazzling display case after display case….

Vintage Underground: pure poetry, literally
I love poring over the display cases literally dripping with vintage costume and designer-signed jewelry at Vintage Underground (1834 W. North Avenue, Chicago, 60622, 773.252.4559). Upon first blush, one can be overwhelmed by the inventory, but the shop is well organized and most of the pieces are beautiful and of nice quality. Carlos, the owner, was there and after I explained to one of the sales associates that I had talked to him in June, she pulled him away from a business discussion to reintroduce him to me. He remembered me, and I told him that while my blog following is modest, the blog post that was inspired by talking with him back in June has been the most consistently viewed post. We talked about the quote from Cuban national hero and poet Jose Martí that he had shared with me in June. And then Carlos recited in Spanish a beautiful poem by Martí. It was great to see him and his staff, who were just as warm this time around as they were when I first ventured into the shop. I also hopped over a few blocks over to the “other” Vintage Underground shop on N. Milwaukee Avenue, which is a curated vintage boutique-style shop. One word: beautiful.

There no such thing as too much vintage rhinestone.

There no such thing as too much vintage rhinestone.

I Have a White Rose to Tend (Verse XXXIX)
Here’s the poem I believe Carlos recited so beautifully:
I have a white rose to tend
In July as in January;
I give it to the true friend
Who offers his frank hand to me.
And for the cruel one whose blows
Break the heart by which I live,
Thistle nor thorn do I give:
For him, too, I have a white rose.

The freshwater pearls reminded me of Miriam Haskell. An unusual combination of rhinestones and freshwater pearls.

The freshwater pearls reminded me of Miriam Haskell. An unusual combination of rhinestones and freshwater pearls.

And the Spanish translation – truly a Romantic language:
Cultivo Una Rosa Blanca… (Verso XXXIX)
Cultivo una rosa blanca,
En julio como en enero,
Para el amigo sincero
Que me da su mano franca.
Y para el cruel que me arranca
El corazón con que vivo,
Cardo ni oruga cultivo:
Cultivo la rosa blanca.
(Carlos, let me know if I didn’t get the right poem! My Spanish – college Spanish, that is – is rusty, but I remembered colors, the heart, and Carlos’s gesture as he recited the poem, as if he were giving a gift to me, which he did!)

Eskell - a nicely curated shop with warm and friendly staff.

Eskell – a nicely curated shop with warm and friendly staff.

Eskell: supporting local jewelry designers and more
The other shop that I visited last June was Eskell (1509 N. Milwaukee Avenue, Chicago, 60622, 773.486.0830), which is where I discovered the jewelry of Laura Lombardi, a local designer, whose esthetics embrace reclaimed vintage and a modern industrial and architectural sensibility. When I came in on Wednesday, I was warmly greeted by Kelly Whitesell, founder and designer, who guided me through the store’s jewelry collections. Other local designers featured include Cities in Dust and Leah Ball, as well as Eskell’s own line. Other nonlocal designers include In God We Trust (one of my favorites from NYC), House of Harlow (Nicole Richie’s line) (I was smitten with a pair of rhinestone safety-pin earrings), A Peace Treaty, and a few others whose works I admired (but can’t remember their names, which means next time I need to whip out pen and paper to record).

Laura Lombardi necklace - gorgeous.

Laura Lombardi necklace – gorgeous.

As you can see by the pictures, Eskell is a beautiful little shop with a distinct point of view. I was so enamored of the jewelry that I confess I didn’t look at anything else, but next time I will check out the other goods. What I like about Eskell is the warm greeting and personal service you get. Extra points were gained when one of the sales girls remembered me from my June trip and my mention of my blog. And another round of points were given for the adorable dog, whose name I should have asked for but didn’t, sleeping on the sofa.

A Peace Treaty long necklace and sterling silver fan ring giving off Art Deco vibes.

A Peace Treaty long necklace and sterling silver fan ring giving off Art Deco vibes.

Kelly gave some great advice about the next cluster of vintage shops I need to check out when I am in town again – on Chicago Avenue. One thing is for sure, I’ll still be making return trips to Wicker Park and my “regular” local shops. Definitely make a point of spending time in this great neighborhood should you visit Chicago. Following my theme from Tuesday’s blog, shop small, shop local when in Chicago. As for me, I’ll be back!

Just for fun - House of Harlow rhinestone safety pin earrings.

Just for fun – House of Harlow rhinestone safety-pin earrings.

Any shop with a dog who has made itself comfortable is a shop I want to frequent!

Any shop with a dog who has made itself quite comfortable is a shop I want to frequent!

Shopping small, shopping local

You may say that I am just another outdated old man complaining about progress and the changes of time. But, you see, I have well considered that possibility myself, and am prepared to submit to correction by anybody who cares about a community, who can show me how the world is improved by that community’s dying.
– Wendell Berry, conservationist, farmer, essayist, novelist, professor of English, and poet, from Jayber Crow

This past Saturday was Small Business Saturday, which was started by American Express in 2010 to help give local retailers a boost during the recession. Sandwiched between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Small Business Saturday is a reminder that small businesses are the backbone of our economy. According to the U.S. Small Business Administration, the country’s 28 million small businesses – defined as having fewer than 500 employees – create two out of every three net new private sector jobs. Half of working Americans – some 120 million individuals – either own or work for a small business.

Winter-white sweater, polka-dot skirt with swags, and slouchy soft boots.

Winter-white sweater, polka-dot skirt with swags, and slouchy soft boots.

More than 22 million of small businesses are self-employed with no additional payroll or employees. These businesses are called “nonemployers.” Approximately 75 percent of all U.S. businesses are nonemployer businesses, with 19.4 million nonemployer businesses operating as sole proprietorships. Seven out of 10 new employer firms last at least two years, with half lasting at least five years, a third lasting at least 10 years, and 25 stay in business 15 years or more.

Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Interesting stats. At last year’s Small Business Saturday, nearly 70 million people shopped small in their local communities, comprising an estimated $5.5 billion in sales to independently owned small businesses. It will be interesting to see how this year fairs in terms of warm bodies entering local businesses and spending money. As we all know, buying local is good for the community. According to the American Independent Business Alliance, shopping at independent retailers creates a “multiplier effect” – independent retailers “return more than three times as much money per dollar of sales [to the community] than chain competitors.”

Pretty little things on a felt-pieced sweater.

Pretty little things on a felt-pieced sweater.

While I dedicated much of my Saturday to decking the halls, I took a couple of breaks to “shop small.” As many of you know, I have profiled a number of local women entrepreneurs for my blog. While I couldn’t go to all of their shops on Small Business Saturday, I happily supported two of my favorite local shops – which thankfully are some seven blocks away – lucky me. Jenny K (6921 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.5250) and Adorn & Flourish (7027 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.367.8548) are on the same street, a block apart.

Jenny K features earrings by local jewelry designers Carmela Rose (hoops and drops) and Clara Beau (Swarovski crystal drops) against a Caron Miller shawl (Santa Barbara).

Jenny K features earrings by local jewelry designers Carmela Rose (hoops and drops) and Clara Beau (Swarovski crystal drops) against a Caron Miller shawl (Santa Barbara).

Small Business Saturday has come and gone this year, but it doesn’t mean you can’t shop and get through your holiday shopping list. There are so many local businesses offering unique gifts from local artisans. Support them this holiday season and the rest of the year. These wonderful shops are what make El Cerrito a great community.

Adorn & Flourish features rings and hammered bracelets etched with "faith," "love," and "breathe" by Kate Peterson.

Adorn & Flourish features rings and hammered bracelets etched with the soothing words: “faith,” “love,” and “breathe” by Kate Peterson.

On Black Friday, think green

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.
– Thích Nhất Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet, and peace activist, from Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

When I was young, the day after Thanksgiving wasn’t coined Black Friday, but my mother and my two sisters and I would get up early and drive to either Visalia or Bakersfield, the former about 40 minutes away and the latter about an hour away from home, to do our Christmas shopping at the malls. And the day after Christmas, we would go to either town and my sisters and I would spend the Christmas money that our mother gave us on holiday sales. This was a family ritual that I still look back on with fondness. It was a day that we four spent together.

An outfit from three years ago that I still wear: J. Crew velveteen jacket, tank top, Anthropologie skirt, and Ash platform boots. Accessories provide the update, but this outfit is still classic.

An outfit from three years ago that I still wear: J. Crew velveteen jacket, tank top, Anthropologie skirt, and Ash platform boots. Accessories provide the update, including the Stuart Weitzman clutch from Secondo (Washington, DC), but this outfit is still a classic years later and for years to come.

To this day, if I hear the word “sale,” I go into “hunt” mode. And I enjoy shopping. But I no longer associate shopping with the day after Thanksgiving or the day after Christmas. The few times I’ve ventured out both days – most notably after the kids have been born – have left me harried and anxious. They weren’t pleasant experiences like the ones I had with my sisters and my mother. Part of it is having grown older and being more easily overwhelmed with crowds and so many stores.

The update: Carmela Rose earrings, Ayala Bar multi-strand necklace (Contemporary Jewish Museum, San Francisco), and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

The update: Carmela Rose earrings, Ayala Bar multi-strand necklace (Contemporary Jewish Museum, San Francisco), and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Part of it is how we now spend our holidays and want to spend our holidays. The day after Thanksgiving, if we are celebrating in San Diego, we are making the eight-hour drive after a family brunch and our visit. If we are hosting, we are cleaning up after everyone leaves and then pulling down the Christmas decorations from the attic. There is no time for Black Friday shopping, and I’d rather spend that day decorating and listening to all of our Christmas CDs in a 48-hour decorating extravaganza. The kids look forward to it – my daughter is a big advocate of not decorating or even thinking about Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving – and decking the halls has become a cherished family tradition. It warmed my heart to hear both kids say, on our ride home today, how they couldn’t wait to put up the decorations, with my daughter even asking if we could start tonight. That would be a no, if we want to truly enjoy the time decking the halls!

Deep purple, mauves, orange, velveteen, organza, mosaics and glass.

Deep purple, mauves, orange, velveteen, organza, mosaics and glass.

I’m not going to judge the people who are checking off their Christmas lists as they go from sale to sale. I chuckled as I read a text message from my brother-in-law who, along with my sister and the other “crazies,” as he called them, was hitting the 50 percent off sales at the outlets late last night. My sisters and my mother and I never felt harried when we were shopping for presents. We enjoyed our time together, both in the car and in the malls. It’s just that these days I’m enjoying my time with my family doing what we want to be doing. While others are winding down from their Black Friday shopping, we are getting ready for a lot of greenery – as in Noble Fir, holly, and garlands.

Be with your family and enjoy your time together, however you choose to spend it. That’s what the day after Thanksgiving should be all about. After all.

An outfit that will eventually be handed down to my daughter, who will be retro chic. Zero cost, sustainable, and sentimental.

An outfit that will eventually be handed down to my daughter, who will be retro chic. Zero cost, sustainable, and sentimental.

Christmas in the City, coming soon to our house, as we deck the halls this weekend.

Christmas in the City, coming soon to our house, as we deck the halls this weekend.