Welcome November: ‘in everything, give thanks’

You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.
– Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer, from The Prophet

When we moved back into our remodeled house in the spring of 2007, I saw a board in a catalog that simply said: “In everything, give thanks.” It ended up gracing our family room wall. Every now and then, I look up to it and I am reminded that we need not remember to give thanks just at Thanksgiving. It’s a daily ritual if we can find that quiet moment for reflection. I was supposed to take this past week off to work on my novel, but too many scheduled meetings and revised deadlines prevented me from asking for the week off. While I was discouraged, I told myself to keep plugging away when I could and everything would be fine. Last week ended with the beginning of a new month, the beginning of November. The end of the week also brought little and big joys, which afforded me moments of gratitude.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and sweat pant style.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and track pants.

Revision accepted
The revision that I had to do, the one that I fretted over because I didn’t think I could fit in everything the client wanted? I made an executive decision to include three concepts and no more. Though I had approached this re-do with mental roadblocks and a writer’s block, once I made that decision, it was easy to write. A burden was lifted. I sent it in, and the client liked it. Gone girl. The project and the stress, that is!

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Jenny K fundraiser
This past Saturday was the last day of a week-long fundraiser for my son’s middle school. This is a fundraiser that I started last year with Jen Komaromi, local woman entrepreneur of Jenny K, (6921 Stockton Avenue, El  Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.5350). It culminated with a two-hour wine and cheese event. Our new PTSA vice president provided all the beverages and food, and our energetic and cheerful fundraising chair brought her group of friends to shop. I thank Jen for her generosity in donating proceeds of the sales to our middle school. She has always supported the local schools and the community. And I thank my PTSA colleagues and all the shoppers who came out to support Portola and Jenny K (support your local businesses!). It warmed my heart to be a part of this annual fundraiser.

A Ryan Du Val mural above the storefronts graces Jenny K gift store and Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar.

Jenny K gift shop on the far left hosted the second November Portola Middle School fundraiser. Thanks, Jen!

 

Lunafest planning going well
As part of the Lunafest East Bay Organizing Committee, I am in charge of a new part of the format – coffee and dessert after the screening of the nine short films, by, for and about women. By the end of last week, I had secured two wonderful women entrepreneurs who will be serving their fabulous baked creations. More on this later. But suffice to say, Lunafest on March 8th, at 7:30pm at the El Cerrito High School Performing Arts Theater (540 Ashbury Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.231.1437) is going to be a wonderful evening of engaging, creative short films by women directors (in fact, one of the directors will be at this event) and fundraising for the Breast Cancer Fund and other local groups. Mark your calendars and bring your friends. This is a terrific community event.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I'm all set.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I’m all set.

Finis: novel completed
This past Sunday I completed the last major revision of my novel, A Village in the Fields. I started the novel in May 1997. I wrote numerous revisions, removed a major character, cut down from a high of a thousand pages to its current 461 pages. Much has happened in my life since its beginnings – marriage, work, two children, work, home remodel, work, public education volunteerism and advocacy, work, losing my mother, work – with some false starts on thinking it was done when in fact it was not. I’m that much closer now. The last leg of this journey is reading it straight through, from page 1 to page 461, to check the flow, the language, and to fix a few more things. I have never met any of my big self-imposed deadlines (I was supposed to have finished the novel each of the last three years), but I’m hoping to finish the entire manuscript by Thanksgiving. Finishing the last chapter on Sunday afternoon – after waking up to an epiphany about it Saturday morning – was deeply gratifying. And I am ever so grateful to have stuck with it, to have had close friends lend their critical eye and cheer me on, to have been humbled by the rejections back in 2006 and to have found the confidence and perseverance to get up and keep going, and to know what was wrong with it and to fix it. Once I’m completely done with this journey, it begins anew with another journey. And I am more than ready for that next journey, bursting with joy and gratitude.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.

Blog change: from thrice to twice weekly posts

We should strive to welcome change and challenges, because they are what help us grow. Without them we grow weak like the Eloi in comfort and security. We need to constantly be challenging ourselves in order to strengthen our character and increase our intelligence.
– H.G. Well, writer and journalist, from The Time Machine

It was bound to happen, though I fought it internally with great might. I am a schedule person, a list person, a person who doesn’t like to deviate from any plan because such a trait is in my DNA. But as work piled up and I wrapped myself with my novel, the juggling act, the balancing act, had to shift. And what got the short shrift was my blog, as much as I hate to admit it.

Right before the weather changed to true fall, we had a glorious warm October.

Right before the weather changed to true fall, we had a glorious warm October.

So in a nod to energy conservation and sanity checks – plus, I’ve been wearing sweats for the last several weeks because I don’t have the time, energy, or imagination to put anything else on – I’m scaling back from three blog posts a week to two, on Tuesdays and Fridays. Once my workload returns to normal, my novel is completed, and rest and relaxation restore my vitality, I’ll reassess whether to keep to the new schedule or go back to the old.

Against a backdrop of a sheer, crinkly jacket and Pendleton-like graphic print dress, I accessorized with an Anthropologie clear cuff, Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA), BCBG MaxAzria faceted ring, and Sundance stack of rings.

Against a backdrop of a sheer, crinkly jacket and Pendleton-like graphic print dress, I accessorized with an Anthropologie clear cuff, End of Century reclaimed vintage chandelier necklace (NYC),  Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA), BCBG MaxAzria faceted ring, and Sundance stack of rings.

I’m hoping that in January I will return to conducting more interviews of amazing and inspiring women. I’m also hoping to find engaging topics that inspire me to blog freely, easily, and joyfully. In the meantime, a new schedule is on the books starting next week. Enjoy Hump Day today!

The last wearing of this dress until late spring.

The last wearing of this dress until late spring.

Deep yellow clutch adds pop to the graphic black-and-white ensemble.

Deep yellow clutch adds a pop of color to the graphic black-and-white ensemble.

Book spine haiku, volume 6

No one travels
Along this way but I,
This autumn evening.
– Matsuo Basho, Japanese poet

It’s time for another edition of book spine haiku. For volume 6, I present three haikus, the first one from my poet friend Laurel Kallenbach and the following two from me. Enjoy your literary Monday!

Laurel's book spine haiku.

Laurel’s book spine haiku.

My book spine haiku offering.

My book spine haiku offering.

My second book spine haiku.

My second book spine haiku.

A retro dress with a vintage electric blue handbag from the Brooklyn Flea Market. Normally a sundress, but in the fall, throw on a thick cardigan and boots, and you've transitioned from summer to fall.

A retro dress with a vintage electric blue handbag from the Brooklyn Flea Market. Normally a sundress, but in the fall, throw on a thick cardigan and boots, and you’ve transitioned from summer to fall.

In God We Trust band (NYC) and Sundance rings.

In God We Trust band (NYC) and Sundance rings.

Against a bright retro print, Votl Designs earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance cuff, and vintage traveling sewing kit in the shape of a walnut (Treasury, Washington, DC).

Against a bright retro print, Votl Designs earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance cuff, and vintage traveling sewing kit in the shape of a walnut (Treasury, Washington, DC).

Celebrating Larry Itliong’s 100th birthday, with an excerpt

I don’t see why I should bow my head when I could hold it high, or place it in the hands of my enemies when I can defeat them.
– Jose Rizal, Filipino nationalist, writer, and revolutionary

Larry Itliong, circa 1960s.

Larry Itliong, circa 1960s.

In honor of Filipino American labor leader Larry Itliong, who was born today, 100 years ago, in San Nicolas, Pangasinan, the Philippines, I present another excerpt from my novel-in-progress, A Village in the Fields, which is about the Great Delano Grape Strikes, in which Itliong was the leader for the Filipino farm workers. Following my last excerpt, we find our protagonist, Fausto Empleo, as a boy, with his first experience of America on his home soil, in his hometown of San Esteban, Ilocos Sur, the Philippines:

Although his father worked him hard, Fausto never missed school. When Miss Arnold presented him with a map of the world for his geography lesson, he was stunned to see how small the islands were compared to other countries, how vast the oceans were, and how big the world was. He learned about American history, and George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. By the end of his first year, before he turned eight, he could read and write a little in English, and add and subtract. He was looking forward to mastering English and learning the industrial skills she was teaching the older boys.

But one Sunday after mass when he came home, Miss Arnold was at the door, talking to his mother, who had stayed home sick. He wondered why she was not at church. She rested her hand on his shoulder, and then withdrew it, her touch so fleeting he thought he had dreamed it up.

“I’ve come to say goodbye, Fausto,” she said.

“Miss Arnold is needed at home,” his mother said. “Her father is very ill.”

Miss Arnold patted a handkerchief across her moist upper lip. “Your father was right about one thing: In the end, our families need us and we need them.”

Fausto wanted to strike the door. He didn’t want his father to be right. He didn’t want Miss Arnold to admit it. But he held his arms down, digging his fists into his thighs. “Are you coming back?”

“I’ll miss the planting season. It’s almost here, isn’t it?” she said, as if she didn’t hear him. “It’s my favorite time—accordians and guitars, singing, dancing in the mud. Such a lovely tradition, such a lovely people.” She fastened her gaze on Fausto. “I’m going home for good, but I hope to see you again. Perhaps you can come visit me in Kansas City when you’re all grown up.”

Fausto’s father emerged from the shadows and stood in the doorway. “There is no reason for him to leave San Esteban,” he said.

Miss Arnold’s eyes did not waver from Fausto. “With an education, you can do anything. I grew up on a farm, and look where I’ve been in my life! Remember Lincoln, where he came from and what he became. You can become anything you want.”

His mother coughed into the sleeve of her kamisa. “We can never imagine sending Fausto to the States, Miss Arnold. It is too dear a price for us,” she murmured.

Miss Arnold’s cheeks reddened. “Please excuse me for my indiscretion. I should leave now and pack. I’ve accumulated so many things in my eighteen years here!”

“Have you not seen your father in eighteen years?” His father’s voice was sharp.

Miss Arnold stood still for a moment. “No,” she whispered, blinking hard.

His father bowed his head. “Miss Arnold, we are sorry for your loss.”

“Pa, her father is not lost yet,” Fausto said. It was bad luck to talk about someone as if he or she had already passed away.

“It is a loss,” Miss Arnold said. She stuffed her handkerchief beneath her sleeve and tugged on the stiff cuff of her suit jacket. “Thank you all for your kindness.”

Fausto stood in her way. “What will become of our lessons?”

“Fausto!” His mother pinched his arm.

“Let Miss Arnold go,” his father said.

“Josefa Zamora will be taking my place,” Miss Arnold said. “She told me she will try to open up the schoolhouse on Sunday afternoons for you.”

Fausto didn’t know what else to say. Time would not stop. He stepped aside.

“I have fond memories of my stay here,” Miss Arnold said to Fausto’s mother and father. She knelt in front of him and gathered him in her arms. He smelled lavender in her hair. It made him think of the bars of soap at the schoolhouse for her students to wash their hands. She touched his cheek. “I shall miss you the most, my little spark of light—so full of promise. Remember, you can do more. You have it in you.”

She stood up, sucking the air around him, and hurried away. Fausto ran after her, but he stopped at the gate. He watched her leave, watched her arms swing by her side, her feet, in their brown, button-up boots, march—as they always did—across the dirt road. Then she was gone, swallowed by the bagbagotot bushes, the bend in the road.

“No more,” his father said in Ilocano. He clamped his hand on Fausto’s shoulder. “School made you worthless in the fields. I was going to stop it, but she did it for me.”

Fausto locked his knees, dug his feet in the earth. “If I finish seventh grade, I can teach school, too,” he insisted. “Just like Josefa Zamora.”

His father snorted. “Teaching is for teachers.”

Fausto wanted to bolt after Miss Arnold. She was still somewhere down that road. He imagined him next to her, ignoring the blisters on his feet from his shoes, wanting to keep pace with her boots. “I can become a teacher,” he said.

His father spun him around and turned his hands over. “See?” With his leathery finger he pushed the calluses in Fausto’s skin. “You are meant to work the land.”

He let go and strode into the house. His mother followed, trudging up the stairs. His lelang, quiet as a house lizard, emerged from behind the door.

Fausto turned to her. “Lelang Purificacion, are you with Pa?”

Her face was full of hard lines and sorrow. “Your father has his reasons, Fausto. You are too young to understand. There is so much you must learn.”

“I was learning!” he said. “You are all against me. Now I am alone.”

“Alone?” She stared at him as if he’d spoken in a foreign tongue. “You will never be alone, Fausto. You will always be with us.”

He shook his head and ran out of the yard, covering several hundred meters before realizing he’d gone in the opposite direction of Miss Arnold. Each breath scalded his lungs. His legs were giving out, his toes wet with popped blisters. He fell to the side of the road, crashing into a thatch of cogon grass. Its sharp-pointed leaves pricked his face. He rolled over and pawed at his ears, his lelang‘s words burrowing like a tick.

Author pose.

Author pose.

Three-plus decades of fashion, fun, and friendship

To reminisce with my old friends, a chance to share some memories and play our songs again.
– Ricky Nelson, American actor, musician, singer-songwriter

Susan's graduation day, June 1986. Timeless cotton dresses.

Susan’s graduation day, June 1986. Timeless cotton dresses. Number 1 song at the time: Madonna’s “Live to Tell.”

After getting together for dinner this past Sunday evening with my college roommates, Susan Rusconi and Susie Merrill, I thought it would be fun to stroll down memory lane with a pictorial tribute to 31 years of fashion, fun, and friendship. We met in the fall of 1982 at the University of California at Davis. Mostly everyone on the second floor of the Struve II dorm were transfer students from two-year community colleges, except for Susan, who was a freshman. Susie lived across from my dorm room, and Susan lived with her roommate Reeva a few doors down. After our dorm year, Susie, Susan, and Betsy, my dorm roommate, and I moved into an apartment on Adams Street. We were roommates for two years in our two-bedroom apartment. After Betsy graduated, got married, and moved back to her hometown of San Diego, Susie and I remained – we both worked on campus – while Susan finished up her senior year, and we replaced Betsy with a graduate student roommate.

July 1986: A 100-plus day in Davis on campus, saying goodbye as we clean out the apartment and move on to the next phase of our lives. Timeless tanks and shorts. Blue is one of our favorite colors.

July 1986: A 100-plus day in Davis on campus, saying goodbye before we move on to the next phase of our lives. Timeless tanks and shorts. Blue is one of our favorite colors. Number 1 song at the time: Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer.”

After Susan graduated, Susie went to Yale for graduate school in epidemiology, I did two years of volunteer work in Alaska and San Francisco for the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. and then attended the creative writing program at Syracuse University, and Susan plunged into the burgeoning world of high-tech in Silicon Valley and eventually got her MBA from Santa Clara University. Through the years, we have kept our friendship alive and gotten together, thanks to all three of us living in the San Francisco Bay Area. Here is to 31 years and more of friendship, with a fun look at fashion and hairstyles of the 1980s, 1990s, up to the present.

July 1986: Cookies and cream drinks, TGIFriday in Sacramento, and another photo with a waiter. Our line to waiters: "You have expressive hands." It works every time for a reaction. Pastels, blues, florals. and stripes.

July 1986: Cookies and cream drinks, TGIFriday in Sacramento, and another photo with a waiter. Our line to waiters: “You have expressive hands.” It works every time for a reaction. Pastels, blues, florals. and stripes. Popular song in July: Genesis’s “Invisible Touch.”

Summer 1987 at Susie's parents' home in Santa Rosa.

Summer 1987 at Susie’s parents’ home in Santa Rosa. Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)” was a top hit at this time.

Christmas 1987: Jewel-tone or colorful sweaters. My uni: cardigans, soft blouses, and floral skirts.

Christmas 1987: Jewel-tone or colorful sweaters. My uni: cardigans, soft blouses, and floral skirts. George Michaels’ “Faith” is top of the charts.

Circa 1990 at El Torito with our token waiter.

Circa 1990 at El Torito with our token waiter.

Summer 1990: Belts, bold prints, and fun masks. Wilson Philips' "Hold On" was hot in June.

Summer 1990 in San Francisco: Belts, bold prints, and fun masks. Wilson Philips’ “Hold On” was hot in June.

October 1991: Bridesmaids' dresses are shimmery burgundy, earrings and dresses by Susie, seamstress extraordinaire. Mariah Carey's "Emotions" was the hit song of the month, although I don't recall it.

October 1991 in San Francisco: Bridesmaids’ dresses are shimmery burgundy, earrings and dresses by Susie, seamstress extraordinaire.

1992: Graduate school sweatshirts. My weekend uni in XL. Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" was tops.

1992 in San Francisco: Graduate school sweatshirts. My weekend uni in XL. Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” was tops.

Reprisal at Susie's parents' porch, 1993: pastels and scarves.

Reprisal at Susie’s parents’ porch, 1993: pastels and scarves.

A tradition of Christmas high tea at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, 1996. More scarves, blue, and black.

A tradition of Christmas high tea at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, 1996. More scarves, blue, and black.

September 1998: Simple yet elegant navy bridesmaid dresses.

September 1998: Simple yet elegant navy bridesmaid dresses by Susie.

October 2001, Palace Hotel high tea birthday celebration for Susie: Black and blue wardrobe again!

October 2001, Palace Hotel high tea birthday celebration for Susie: Black and blue wardrobe again against a beautiful autumn bouquet.

October 2013: The secret to staying young at heart: family, friends, and lots of love and joy to share.

October 2013: The secret to staying young at heart: family, friends, and boundless love and joy to share.

October 2013: Ageless!

October 2013: Timeless and ageless, thanks to 31 years of friendship. Here’s to the next half….

 Nurture your friendships and be thankful.

Finding joy in a working weekend

Don’t let pain keep you out of the garden.
– Welwyn Wilton Katz, Canadian author

Enjoying a Friday evening event at the Corte Madera Anthropologie store with a good friend, good wine, and good sweets.

Enjoying a Friday evening event at the Corte Madera Anthropologie store with a good friend, good wine, and good sweets.

Last Monday, I had no idea that I would be working that following weekend, making it the seventh weekend in a row. For the second Friday in a row, late in the afternoon, I received an e-mail from a client containing extensive comments to a white paper draft, warranting a major revision. To say that I was disappointed was a major understatement. I didn’t want to sink into despair, though I could feel myself get pulled down as if by quicksand. I was going to an event Friday evening and I had dinner plans on Sunday evening. My fear was that another working weekend was going to keep me from enjoying the company of friends. I was bound and determined not to let that happen.

So here’s what I did. I made a short list of what I absolutely had to get done by Monday morning: a minor revision, a major revision, and a first draft of a short paper. I decided to give myself the entire Friday evening off. Saturday morning I would start with the minor revision and work my way through the major revision, the most difficult of the tasks. And then Sunday I would write the draft and celebrate with my planned dinner. Having a plan helped to make what seemed insurmountable achievable.

Designer Corey Lynn Calter plays hostess.

Designer Corey Lynn Calter plays hostess.

Given what I had ahead of me, it was difficult at first for me to shake the work from my shoulders when I quit work Friday afternoon. When my friend Raissa and my daughter, Isabella, and I headed over to Corte Madera for the opening of the petite shop within the clothing store Anthropologie, I was still thinking about those comments. Once we leisurely walked around the outdoor shopping mall and sat and talked before the event started, I became more relaxed. And then, of course, once we walked into one of my favorite stores, worries about work stayed outside the door.

L.A.-based designer Corey Lynn Calter was on hand to open the new shop, which featured her line of clothes. She poured wine and champagne and chatted with the customers. She was amiable and very down to earth. I was able to spend time talking with Amy, from corporate headquarters in Philadelphia, who was one of the liaisons for a consumer group they headed up a few years ago. Amy was the liaison for the women from the western region of the country, which included me. I’ve been lucky enough to see her at some of the events in the San Francisco store since the group disbanded. It was great to see her and the store, given that I’d been away for a while, too busy with work. Instead of me working once we got home, we had a nightcap with our friends, which further relaxed me and prepared me for the work ahead.

A beautiful, quiet autumn moment (photo by David).

A beautiful, quiet autumn moment (photo by David).

Saturday was torturous, but I plowed through. When you get through a tough project or hurdle or problem, you feel a great sense of accomplishment. I persevered. By the evening, I was able to treat myself to working on a chapter of my novel for a couple of hours. In the morning, I was rewarded with a beautiful backyard scene of the morning sun streaking through the magnolia tree leaves. It was a moment that reminded me that there is beauty and joy when you least expect it, when you aren’t looking for it. And when you receive this gift, you accept it with gratitude and wear it like a cozy sweater.

With the tough project out of the way, I found energy to write the draft of the short paper on Sunday. I finished it in time for my family and me to head down to Los Altos and have a fall dinner with my college roommates, Susie, and Susan and her family, who hosted. We were also celebrating Susie’s October birthday. We have known each other since 1982 – 31 years! Good friends, good food and wine, good conversation. It doesn’t get any better than that.

31-year college friendship from UC Davis: Susie, Susan, and me.

31-year college friendship from UC Davis: Susie, Susan, and me. Timeless and ageless!

We got home a little late, but I’m fully relaxed and ready to start the week. Spending time with friends helped me find the joy in the working weekend. A working weekend with a happy ending on a late Sunday evening, right? Well, I flipped on my laptop when we got home and there was an e-mail waiting for me: An internal disagreement ensued between the person who approved of my draft and the person who wrote the extensive editorial comments, and the end result was for me to leave the draft as is and consider it final from the client’s end. A wasted Saturday? Lost energy being too proactive and working right away on the revision? I breathed deeply and told myself: This is another one of those character-building moments.

Driving home Sunday night: the new East Bay span of the Bay Bridge. Beautiful.

Driving home Sunday night: the new East Bay span of the Bay Bridge. Beautiful.