Category Archives: Fashion

Living creatively stylishly

School’s out for summer

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A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.
– George Santayana, Spanish philosopher, essayist, poet, and novelist

Ready for summer in a knotted and rolled-up denim shirt over a bright yellow bandeau and skirt.

Ready for summer in a knotted and rolled-up denim shirt over a bright yellow bandeau and skirt. Neutral platforms elongate my short legs. A roomy handbag can carry statement sunglasses and tubes of sunscreen.

My two kids’ last day of school is this Friday at noon. Every year, for the past seven years, I’ve picked them up and we’ve gone to various parks for a picnic with other families to celebrate the end of the school year. The kids play in the park, and the parents – usually the moms – marvel at how quickly the year has gone by. Eight years later, I am amazed at how one year my son and his friends were these little boys running around on the playground and now they – or least my son – are dabbing rubbing alcohol on the pimples that have sprouted on their faces in the mornings. Now they dash out the front door to walk to school part way by themselves and then at a designated spot meet up with their friends before reaching their destination of middle school. Whereas I once vowed never to let them walk to or from school by themselves, my son, who is finishing up seventh grade, routinely walked from middle school to his old elementary school to pick up his sister after school this past year. And I greet them – no longer anxiously, as I did in the beginning of the school year – when they come home.

People have told me that the years from middle school through high school accelerate. I believe it, but I have witnessed those years flying by since at least fourth grade, if not third. Raising kids is exhausting. It ages you, and miraculously it keeps you young, which is an interesting phenomenon if you are an older parent. One day you wish they (along with their slovenliness) were ready to leave home, and then the next day you hug them hard – and they surprise you by hugging you back – and wish they would stay their age forever (as long as you stayed your current age forever, too).

Sun-kissed accessories: Anthropologie ring, Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA), and April Cornell necklace.

Sun-kissed accessories: Anthropologie ring, Lava 9 earrings (Berkeley, CA), and April Cornell necklace.

I have a few friends whose daughters are finishing up their senior year in high school. Both babysat our kids and we’ve known them for a number of years. I actually get verklempt when I think of them moving on because I know I’ll be that parent soon enough. And I know that moment will come before I can ever be prepared for such a time. When my son or daughter tell me that this day or that event went by too quickly, I let them know that they haven’t seen anything yet in terms of life whooshing by. So I tell them not to ever tell me that they’re bored, because if they do, it’s a shame and it’s their fault because they control what they do with their time, regardless of whether I am dragging them to a place or event they’d rather not be. Life is too short to be bored.

On that note, it’s summer, and that’s the time to really get an education, so that when our kids go off to college, they have learned more than what goes on in the classroom. I remember someone telling me about Ansel Adams’ father letting him explore the Panama-Pacific International Exhibition in San Francisco for the duration of the event in 1915 (which was open to the public from February to December, mind you). Now that’s an education. Hopefully, this summer will be the beginning of really taking advantage of education outside of the classroom. I don’t have too many summers left to do this with my kids before they move away and take hold of their own education and adventures. I’m getting verklempt again.

A summer outfit isn't complete without a neutral handbag with brass paillettes and soaring (but comfortable) platform sandals.

A summer outfit isn’t complete without a neutral handbag with brass paillettes and soaring (but very comfortable) platform sandals.

Baby Boomers, Gen X’ers, and Millenials – oh my!

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I just want to show society what people born after 1960 think about things… We’re sick of stupid labels, we’re sick of being marginalized in lousy jobs, and we’re tired of hearing about ourselves from others.
– Douglas Coupland, Canadian novelist, interview with the Boston Globe, 1991, about his novel, Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture

I finally found a pair of pajamas that I wanted to wear for day and evening wear.

I finally found a pair of pajamas that I wanted to wear for day and evening wear.

I read an online article today on the Pew Charitable Trust’s recent study and its conclusion that Generation X’ers were the hardest hit by this past recession compared to the four other age groups that were also examined. Gen X’ers – also dubbed the slacker and the Boomerang Generation – have been saddled with student loans and credit card debt, although I’m sure a lot of Generation Y or Millenials are in the same situation. I looked up the time periods for the different generational groups because beyond Baby Boomers I don’t know Generations X and Y from Adam. Myriad sources differ vastly on the start and end years, which only adds to my generational confusion. Therefore, I’m relying on the Pew Internet and American Life Project’s delineations because I’m familiar with their studies and I reference their research in my work now and then. So according to the Pew Research Center: Older Baby Boomers (1946-1954), Younger Baby Boomers (1955-1964), Gen X (1965-1976), and Gen Y (1977-1992).

Gold jewelry with pajamas: Kate Peterson necklace (El Cerrito, CA), Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage earrings, Alkemie cuff (LA), rings by In God We Trust (NYC) and Sundance.

Gold jewelry with pajamas: Kate Peterson necklace (El Cerrito, CA), Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage earrings, Alkemie cuff (LA), rings by In God We Trust (NYC) and Sundance.

It never made sense to me to define any generation within a span of nearly 20 years because of the broad spectrum of political and cultural changes that occur in that time frame and the different impact of those events and movements on children and adults. I associate Baby Boomers with stability, one-company careers, big house and two cars in the suburbs, and two-week or more summer vacations. In fact, they were the young adults navigating through upheavals such as the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights movement. It’s important to divide the generation into Younger and Older Baby Boomers because they grew up differently. The Silent Generation (1937-1945), which grew up in the aftermath of the Great Depression and endured WWII and the Korean War, worked to overcome those hardships and establish the suburban lifestyle that their Younger Baby Boomers would enjoy and expect when they became adults. While I never really thought of myself as a Baby Boomer, as a Young Baby Boomer, I could relate to having those aspirations. And even though I wanted to be a writer since I was a girl and have a career, independence, and travel, I realize that I expected to follow The Brady Bunch path. I just needed to get my degree, travel, work hard, and then get married, raise a family, and drive that station wagon into that two-story house’s garage.

Add a different Japanese print with this textile purse to the ensemble.

Add a different Japanese print with this textile purse to the ensemble.

Long before Douglas Coupland wrote Generation X in 1991, the photographer Robert Capa coined the term to describe the twentysomethings who grew up post-WWII and were subjects of a photo-essay that was published in 1953. It’s not quite the time frame that we think of today as being Generation X. Regardless, some put Generation X starting as early as 1961. Really though, is there that much of a difference between 1962 and 1965, which is the year that David was born and also the year that the Pew Research Center marks as the beginning of the Gen X generation? As much as he gives me a hard time about being older than he, there’s little difference – musical tastes aside. There’s a big difference, however, between someone born in 1965 and someone born in 1984, which is the span that The Harvard Center defines as Generation X. My family, friends, and acquaintances born in the 1960s are, for the most part, hard-working and earned the fruits of their labor. David will complain about co-workers, born after 1980, who are listening to their iPods with earplugs, clicking out of Google Maps when their managers walk by their cubicles. That’s the description we’ve come to associate with Gen X’ers. It’s not me and it’s not David. And to be fair, it’s not the majority of people born within those years.

Japanese-inspired print, chocolate burn-out shawl, and shiny bronze pumps.

Japanese-inspired print, chocolate burn-out shawl, and shiny bronze pumps.

But back to the article’s study: while I don’t think of myself as a Gen X’er, I will say that perhaps one trait that I do share with Gen X’ers is a smidgen of disillusionment with certain adages, such as good prevails over evil and hard work pays off. This may be a trait that spans generations because cynicism and disillusionment are everywhere. That said, despite the rockiness of the past five years, I remain hopeful that most of the time good prevails over evil and most of the time hard work will pay off.  Sometimes I feel as if on one level I’m no different from my mother; I’m just as exhausted at the end of the day as she, who picked grapes in the summertime and packed oranges in the wintertime. Perhaps I am not better off than my parents, depending upon how you define “better off,” as many experts tell us is the case. To be sure, my mother lived a harder, more physically demanding life than I do. But I also have many memories of her laughing and gossiping as she and her fellow rummy players sat around the card table in our family room on Sunday afternoons, with the sound of Louis Prima’s trumpet sputtering from our huge stereo console speakers. Those memories make me realize that it’s not all one way or all the other way. We are shaped by the world around us and hardwired at birth, which makes each of us unique. Whether we have a lot of money or not, whether we have a lot of time or not – which to me is much more precious than money – and whether we’re Baby Boomers, Gen X’ers, or Millenials, we can make decisions, and continue to make decisions, to define who we are and to determine the quality of our lives.

In celebration of Walt Whitman

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I greet you at the beginning of a great career, which yet must have had a long foreground somewhere, for such a start.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist and poet, in a letter to Walt Whitman, American poet, essayist, and journalist, 21 July 1855

No stars, but red, white, and blue stripes - and classic denim.

No stars, but red, white, and blue stripes – and classic denim.

Who didn’t read Walt Whitman’s poetry when they were in high school? As unsophisticated as I was in high school and despite English teachers “teaching” Whitman as a poet whom they had to interpret for us students, I still appreciated his poetry back then and appreciate it even more now. Precisely because on one level he didn’t need to be interpreted, especially when it came to poems as expansive and full of realism as “Song of Myself,” which was included in Leaves of Grass:

I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

At a time when we read so many poems in archaic language or poems that rhymed or were contained by strict forms – such as iambic pentameter – it was refreshing to read Whitman’s free verse. His boldness appealed to me as a shy teenager. He spoke to all of us and he embraced us all. The poems I most remember him for were the ones that our teacher exposed us to – both about Lincoln: “When Lilacs Last in the Door-yard Bloom’d” and “O Captain! My Captain!”

Today is Whitman’s birthday. Celebrate our great American poet, who was born in 1819 on this day, by reading one of his poems aloud.

Silver accessories include architectural earrings from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA), necklace from Wyler's (Portland, ME), Sundance stack of rings, and double band from In God We Trust (NYC).

Silver accessories include architectural earrings from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA), necklace from Wyler’s (Portland, ME), Sundance stack of rings, and double band from In God We Trust (NYC).

Post script: As I thought about Whitman, my mind started wandering and I asked myself if there wasn’t a fictional high school in a classic television show that bore his name. Walt Whitman High School in Los Angeles was the setting for the famous history classroom – Room 222, a comedy-drama that ran from September 1969 to January 1974. I looked it up on Google and then listened to the television show’s theme song, which took me back to my childhood. I didn’t watch reruns of it; my sisters and I watched it every Friday evening, after The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, and before The Odd Couple and Love, American Style. What a blockbuster line-up. Those were the days. Watching Room 222 back then, that’s what I thought high school was going to be – a thought-provoking place where teachers and the other adults there were passionate about wanting students to make the world a better place once they left. At that time, it made sense that the focus was on an African-American history teacher, played by Lloyd Hanes, supported by an idealistic student teacher (remember Karen Valentine?), the compassionate guidance counselor, and the supportive principal. Not that I can remember too much about the topics covered – and I’m sure many were over my head – but the show grappled with political and human rights issues. That an episode, which aired in 1971, dealt with anti-gay harassment is pretty amazing for its time. We’ve come a long way, and yet we still have a long way to go. But bringing this blog entry back to Whitman the poet and “Song of Myself” seems fitting and comes full circle. Whitman spoke for us all, as we should, too:

Agonies are one of my changes of garments,
I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person,
My hurts turn livid upon me as I lean on a cane and observe.

Happy Birthday, Walt Whitman!

Red, white, and denim, with architectural elements.

Red, white, and denim, with architectural elements.

Vintage love: antique document holder necklace

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She’s a hypnotist collector
You are a walking antique
– Bob Dylan, American musician and singer-songwriter, from She Belongs To Me

The cut-out patterned back of a retro-inspired jacket from D'Jour Floral.

The cut-out patterned back of a retro-inspired jacket from D’Jour Floral.

Across the street from Fat Apple’s Restaurant in El Cerrito is a store called D’Jour Floral (7512 Fairmount Avenue, El Cerrito, 525.7232). I have never gone in the store, though every time I see it I think to myself, I should check it out. A few weeks ago, after Mother’s Day breakfast, I ventured in for only a few minutes. Nobody else in our family wanted to go inside, so I took a quick inventory and made a mental note to return.

The following Sunday, after meeting my Monday Mom’s group for breakfast at Fat Apple’s, I ventured in again and this time I had the luxury of wandering around the shop. As one neighbor described it, there’s a lot of kitsch. It is a confusing store – floral shop, new vintage-inspired clothing, vintage items, and, okay, a lot of kitsch. But for those of us who love a good vintage hunt, I rolled up my sleeves and examined everything on the walls and in the display cases. That’s when I found Vivian.

Antique sterling silver document holder necklace.

Antique sterling silver document holder necklace.

When I asked to see this unusual sterling silver very thin case, the older woman, who was the owner, said, “Oh, you want to see Vivian.” The name was engraved on the piece. It was lightweight in my palm. It was intricate and in incredible shape (save for two dents in the bottom corners), and it looked like it came from the Victorian era. There are no markings and it is unsigned. The owner told me it was made in the 1880s and was used to store documents. She told me it belonged to a woman who had come through Ellis Island and had kept her important papers inside. I had this romantic vision of this woman coming from some Eastern European country and making her way out West. Do I believe the owner of the store? Perhaps it belonged to a relative of the person who had sold it to the owner and told her this story. I do want to believe it. I went home and looked up on the Internet variations “antique sterling silver document holder necklace,” but I didn’t come up with anything that looked like Vivian. I saw vintage filigree sterling silver scroll document holders that were cylindrical-shaped, but not shaped like a flat compact, which I assumed was likely more common.

Like a lighter, the top or cap is on a hinge.

Like a lighter, the top or cap is on a hinge.

The price was too dear for the piece, but the owner told me she was closing down the store because she couldn’t keep using her retirement money to keep it open. She was planning on discounting everything starting the following week. So I returned the following week, we bargained, and now Vivian is home with me. I continue to search on the Internet, but if any of my vintage-loving friends come across the history of the document holder that looks like Vivian, please share!

My I Love Lucy look: retro jacket on the clearance rack at D'Jour Floral.

My I Love Lucy look: retro jacket on the clearance rack at D’Jour Floral and slim trousers.

Oh, the treasures you’ll find when you least look for it. But you have to be open to opportunities and allow your curiosity to take you to those places you keep telling yourself you don’t have time to seek out. The shop is scheduled to close mid-June. I will go back to get some chandelier crystal pieces that the owner removed from a vintage chandelier. I am intrigued by a WWII Japanese gas mask that is hanging from a rack. It is fascinating, and yes, haunting and dark. So, I ask: How do you style that, or display that? David just merely asks: Why? Indeed!

Mixing vintage, retro-inspired, and contemporary: earrings from a trip to Boston, Anthropologie etched clear bangle, and my mother's ring given to her by her parents.

Mixing vintage, retro-inspired, and contemporary: earrings from a trip to Boston, Anthropologie etched clear bangle, and my mother’s ring given to her by her parents.

Red trousers are a shoo-in to pair with this cut-out jacket, while keeping the accessories clean and simple.

Red trousers are a shoo-in to pair with this cut-out jacket, while keeping the accessories clean and simple.

Save your brain: Take a power nap

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Nature has not intended mankind to work from eight in the morning until midnight without that refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it only lasts twenty minutes, is sufficient to renew all the vital forces.
– Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister of the U.K.

Mix stripes and prints when both pieces have bursts of the same bold colors and both fabrics are similar - in this case, shiny.

Mix stripes and prints when both pieces have bursts of the same bold colors and both fabrics are similar – in this case, shiny.

After graduating from UC Davis back in 1985, I remained at Davis and spent the following year working full-time at the School of Law’s library to save money and apply to volunteer organizations. I was bored to tears collecting, shelving, and cataloging books, and replacing old book spine labels with new ones. Boredom made me drowsy and I often fought back yawns by midday. A co-worker friend and I discovered a small room connected to the rarely used downstairs bathroom. It had a single piece of furniture in the middle – a thick-padded elevated, armless chaise lounge. We dubbed it the PMS lounge. I used it for my daily lunchtime naps, despite the fact that the room had a musty smell and the walls were painted an institutional green that reminded me of a state hospital from the 1950s. Every day, my co-worker friend dutifully came downstairs to wake me up after 30 minutes.

I’m reminded of this long-ago ritual because since last year I have indulged in power naps, formerly called cat naps. My acupuncturist recommended naps, especially for sleep-deprived people like me. While my workload has gone from insane to manageable, business trips and deadlines seem to occur at the same times, hence a deadly cocktail of late nights and stress.

Continue the shine factor with pumps and gold jewelry (End of Century, NYC, cicada ring, earrings from Anthropologie, and cuff by Alkemie, Los Angeles.

Continue the shine factor with pumps and gold jewelry (End of Century, NYC, cicada ring; earrings from Anthropologie; and cuff by Alkemie, Los Angeles).

At first, I fought it. Napping took away valuable time from work. But when I couldn’t put together two cogent sentences, I began spinning my proverbial wheels. I gave in to the siren and found that when I woke up, I was – albeit groggy at first – better able to tackle writing that white paper and get things done and do them well instead of operating in a fog, redoing and rewriting, and taking twice as long to get anything done.

Bold earrings means you should keep the neckline spare.

Bold earrings means you should keep the neckline spare.

Articles say ideal naps last between 10 to 20 or 30 minutes and should be taken no later than midday. Longer naps make you more tired and naps late in the day may interfere with your quality of sleep at night. Everybody is different. I have found that I don’t naturally sleep for 30 minutes and then wake up, but I didn’t want to set an alarm – unless I had to – because in the back of my head I would wonder when that alarm was going to go off. I nap during my lunch break but will acquiesce to an earlier time when I’m really struggling to get words down. I’ve even broken the rule and taken a nap at 5PM after picking up my kids from some extracurricular activity. There is no way I can make dinner in this state. My kids tell me it’s okay to have a late dinner and off I go to nap. And when I wake up, I cook dinner that would have taken me twice as long had I not slept.

Another take on the striped blouse: A flowing maize-colored skirt makes the outfit more casual and summery.

Another take on the striped blouse: A flowing maize-colored skirt makes the outfit more casual and summery.

Napping allows me to be more productive later in the afternoon when my energy usually wanes. In the last year or two, I have witnessed – with great sadness – the decline of my energy level (along with my memory, which I believe is connected to my energy level). Getting settled back into a work routine of no travel in the near term, reaching a point in my job where I’m appropriately delegating work and managing the workflow, and eating healthful meals on a regular schedule will help me regain my energy level and reclaim my sleep.

That said, while I didn’t take a nap yesterday, though I was tired, naps will remain a necessary tool that will help me reach the coveted restful state. Now if I can get to bed by 11PM and not worry about projects and deadlines, which is a goal my acupuncturist heartily approves of, I would be ecstatic.

Go bold with chunky colorful bangles.

Go bold with chunky colorful bangles (Anthropologie) and sea glass earrings by Carmela Rose. Necklace from the Brooklyn Flea Market, rings from Sundance and In God We Trust.

I used to make fun of my years of sleep deprivation and even tout my ability to be fine after a marathon 48 hours straight working on a project. But it’s no laughing matter. Your brain chemistry is altered when you are deprived of sleep for prolonged periods of time. I’m very aware of this. Sometimes choices have to be made. I skipped my son’s baseball game last Sunday because leaving the house at 6:30AM for a second weekend morning in a row was too exhausting. I didn’t sleep in, but I lounged just a bit. I went to my mom’s group’s monthly breakfast and had a leisurely breakfast. Later, my daughter and I had a leisurely lunch on our balcony.

It’s so hard not to feel guilty about taking it easy in this crazy workaholic environment. But I have to consciously remind myself: If I can’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of my family or my friends. Power naps, I’ve discovered, have helped empower me. And knowing that Leonardo di Vinci, Thomas Edison, and Albert Einstein were advocates of naps puts me in great company.

Platform sandals complete the summery outfit.

Platform sandals complete the summery outfit.

The Vacation that wasn’t

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It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
– Confucius, Chinese teacher, politician, and philosopher

Another bold outfit for a Monday. Retro-inspired Talbots dress and Kate Spade handbag.

Another bold outfit for a Monday. Retro-inspired Talbots dress and Kate Spade handbag.

I was supposed to take this week off for vacation, which I was going to use to work on the final revision of my novel – the novel that I started back in 1997. Coupled with a three-day weekend, I had high hopes that I would indeed finish my novel, and then have to figure out how to carve out the time to consider my next steps – research online publishing and social media marketing, and then actually execute on publishing and marketing. I believe that’s two separate jobs, in addition to my blogging, which is a part-time job and takes up my weekends and free time when I’m not doing everything else that I need to be doing to have a functioning home and world and happy family, and then there’s my day-time job.

As fate would have it, I found out that I didn’t have the hours to take this week off. My first reaction was of outrage and then defeat. How could I finish my novel when I have to rely on the two weeks of vacation allotted to me on a yearly basis? (My third week is actually used for doing something with my family.) And beyond finishing my novel this year, and online publishing and marketing it, how on earth can I find the big blocks of time to return to my second novel, which I had begun in 2006 and requires a lot of research?

Go for the jugular with blood-red carnelian earrings and necklace by Carmela Rose and Juicy Couture ring.

Go for the jugular with blood-red carnelian earrings and necklace by Carmela Rose and Juicy Couture ring.

The more questions I encountered, the more frustrated and helpless I began to feel. As the days passed since learning of my fate, I realized it was just as well. A few projects are due around this time, and there is no escaping having to work on them this week, so my “week off” would have been compromised.

Of late, my “free” time has been reserved for fixing image issues with my blog and limping along as I build a Facebook fan page for my blog. The former has been time and labor intensive, the latter I’m still trying to figure it out. Stay tuned.

Slip on statement sunglasses and I'm ready for Monday, come what may.

Slip on statement sunglasses and I’m ready for Monday, come what may.

Despite coming into this week, which has shaped up to be quite different from what I had planned a few weeks ago, I tell myself: There’s nothing I can do for the time being, but I will get there. I will get to my destination and be made stronger for the detour in my journey. I will finish my novel and I will be happy with it. The technical issues for the blog will be resolved. The fan page will be populated with images and content, though it may not look pretty in the first iteration. But everything will happen because this time I won’t stop. Sometimes it’s okay to push the timeline, the deadline. I may die a little inside because things are delayed once more. But it’s a gnat hovering in my face. Nobody is going to die or get hurt for yet another delay.

So long as I don’t go backwards, everything will be okay. It’s Monday, the beginning of a new week. The beginning, the beginning.