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Museum love in New York City: MoMA and the F.I.T. Museum

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I love New York, even though it isn’t mine, the way something has to be, a tree or a street or a house, something, anyway, that belongs to me because I belong to it.
– Truman Capote, American author

Monday midday, after I conducted an interview with a terrific Brooklyn healthcare organization called BHIX, we decamped from Mason’s place to midtown Manhattan. I was slated to give an introduction on big data in healthcare for a dinner event and take notes, record, and informally interview attendees in order to write a piece of content for the company who was sponsoring the event. (Oh, yes, I forgot that this was a business trip!) We had one more destination to make on our to-do list, and that was to go to the Fashion Institute of Technology (F.I.T.) Museum, which would complete our museum-focused trip.

A still garden at the MOMA - the Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Sculpture Garden was closed.

A still garden at MoMA – the Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Sculpture Garden was closed.

Starstruck in MoMA
On Sunday, after Heidi and I walked the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan, we took a cab to the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA). Admission is a whopping $25, so it’s prudent to get there right when the museum opens. I honestly didn’t check out ahead of time or know what art is in MoMA, so I was completely overwhelmed by what I saw.

Admittedly, I was starstruck. All of these masterpieces that I had studied in an art history class at Porterville College as a teenager were right before me – just a few feet from my hungry eyes. I don’t remember all the great artists I had studied in that favorite class, but I developed an appreciation of them, their techniques, and their contributions to the art world. (This is a shout-out to Mr. Howell, an extraordinary teacher who gave everyone who took his class a huge window into an expansive, more colorful and vibrant world outside of our small farming town existence. It was the same feeling I got when I saw the great works in the Prado in Madrid, the museums in Rome, and the Uffizi and other museums in Florence.)

The Dream by Henri Rousseau.

The Dream by Henri Rousseau.

At every turn around a wall or into a new room, I gazed upon countless masterpieces. It was dizzying after a while – so much color, thick and smooth paint strokes, enormous canvases and equally astonishing smaller works of art. Edvard Munch‘s The Scream was on loan, but Heidi let me know that there are several versions of the painting. It wasn’t crowded, which made viewing an even more pleasurable experience. Heidi’s favorite was “The Dream” by Henri Rousseau.

One of the many Paul Klees at the MOMA.

One of the many Paul Klees at the MOMA.

It is difficult for me to choose favorites. I love Paul Klee‘s playfulness. I’ve always adored Vincent Van Gogh since I was a tortured teenager and wrote a report on him in high school. There were some moving B&W photos, as well.

Van Gogh's pencil and pen and ink sketches are just as moving to me as his paintings.

Van Gogh’s pencil and pen and ink sketches are just as moving to me as his paintings.

B&W photo, photographer unknown, 1950s in Washington, D.C. I love the mirroring images within this photograph.

B&W photo, photographer unknown, 1950s in Washington, D.C. I love the mirroring images within this photograph.

If I had to pick, I have to say that I was really taken by Belgian artist James Ensor‘s “Masks Confronting Death 1888.” The pale colors, the foggy background, the masks themselves, and the ghostly face in the left made the painting compelling for me. I couldn’t stop staring at it.

James Ensor's Masks Confronting Death 1888.

James Ensor’s Masks Confronting Death 1888.

This is a museum that out-of-towners should have a membership to if they are lucky enough to be in New York three times a year. I wouldn’t tire of seeing these masterpieces again. People don’t tire of religious experiences.

Capturing the quiet admiration of an art lover: My "Magritte-esque" photograph of Monet's water lilies.

Capturing the quiet admiration of an art lover: My “Magritte-esque” photograph of Monet’s water lilies.

Fashion and Technology: “Without risk, nothing changes the world”
We didn’t get a chance to squeeze in the Fashion Institute of Technology (F.I.T.) Museum last September, so visiting this museum was a must-see this time around. Unfortunately, we weren’t allowed to take any pictures. The museum, which is free, comprises only two exhibits. After the Brooklyn Museum and MoMA, it was nice to go to a more contained museum. “Fashion and Technology” in the Fashion and Textile History Gallery was the first exhibit and celebrated the ways in which technological innovations influenced and advanced fashion, whether it be production, materials, aesthetics, and function, through the years.

The F.I.T. Museum.

The F.I.T. Museum.

The sewing machine, of course, led to the mass production of clothes. But many may not know that the Spinning Jenny and Jacquard loom, also developed during the Industrial Revolution of the 18th and 19th centuries, were equally important in revolutionizing the conception and manufacturing of textiles. The Jacquard loom was ten times faster than hand weaving, and the Spinning Jenny mechanized the process of manufacturing cotton thread, which made cotton replace wool as the predominant fabric of choice, especially in the warmer seasons. In the mid-19th century, synthetic dyes were developed, which enabled dressmakers to use brilliant, fade-resistant colors – such as royal purple – for their gowns. The invention of the bicycle and its popularity led to the introduction of knickerbockers for women and multi-gored skirts that made riding bicycles possible, and the introduction of the zipper made dressing, especially for women, a lot easier.

Urban landscapes – with the introduction of the “skyscraper” – inspired the Art Deco movement to express the technological changes that the world was experiencing in the first decades of the 20th century in the form of geometric art and design. The Chrysler Building, whose lit-up spire was our view from our hotel room window, is a great example of Art Deco. Around this time innovations in rubber and plastic were finding their way into fashion. After World War II, fashion and technology merged again. An American designer named Claire McCardell designed washing machine-safe sportswear for the suburban housewife. The drip-dry suit was accompanied by a 1968 black-and-white commercial of a man having a smoke and reading the newspaper in his suit in a bathtub. After showering off, he’s seen leaving his hotel, completely dry. The space age also influenced fashion design, as well as created this sense that humans could do – and go – anywhere their imaginations took them.

Textile innovations and collaborations in the later part of the 20th century included blending of metallic threads and synthetic textiles, combining DuPont’s Lycra with cotton or linen to introduce “bi-stretch” material that now characterize sportswear. Personal computers and the internet made their mark and continue to make their mark on fashion. Computer-aided design (CAD) software and computer-operated Jacquard looms changed the way clothes are produced. 3D printing and software-guided lasers are creating amazing fashion. I’m missing other advancements, but that just means you have to go to the F.I.T. Museum. But make haste: This exhibit, which began on December 3rd, runs through May 8th. If you’re a Project Runway junkie, fashionista, or even a historical buff, you won’t be disappointed.

Media Design Club at FIT: Exploring time through graphic design
The second exhibit, “The Fourth Dimension: The Media Club at FIT,” is in the Gallery FIT. The exhibit is an exploration of the changing world of graphic design through individual students’ interpretation of time. It was an unexpected gem for me. The near-empty room was lined with laptops running various programs that employ motion and interactive technology. A larger screen ran about 20 or so animated shorts. Heidi and I parked ourselves and watched around 10 of them. As we finished viewing one called Planned Obsolescence, a young man standing next to us asked us if we liked it. Yes, we did – a lot! He let us know that he had made the short and just happened to walk through the exhibit as it was playing. He was clearly excited and proud, as he should be. It was terrific, as most of them were. I know about the concept of planned obsolescence of products, but I had no idea that it was developed as early as 1932. So the TV and speakers that we’d had for many years, dating back to our college days in the 1980s, meant that those very products didn’t last as long as their predecessors had decades before! You learn something new every day, and it’s these little bits of knowledge that keep life interesting and constantly full of wonder.

Buildings rise above Madison Square Park, not far from F.I.T.

Buildings rise above Madison Square Park, not far from F.I.T.

We watched an animated short contemplating and trying to define what time is and many shorts on the environment – exploring global warming, overpopulation, pollution, consumption and hoarding, consumerism, and even procrastination, which I loved and wish my 12-year-old son could see (hint, hint). In fact, as I watched these shorts created by college students, I couldn’t help but think how my son, who can spend entire days making stop-action movies with his Lord of the Rings Lego sets, would thrive in this kind of environment. Anyone who appreciates animation and graphic design will enjoy this exhibit. To get a sense of the kind of things the club does, click here. It’s a fantastic message to be and stay creative – so it’s for me, it’s for you, it’s for David and my kids, and it’s for everybody, at any age or stage of our lives. This wonderful exhibit runs through February 9th.

The Flatiron Building is a short walk from F.I.T.

The Flatiron Building is a short walk from F.I.T.

Last night in New York (sniffle, sniffle)
So my stint in New York has ended. The dinner event went well last night. I didn’t stumble over too many words during my introduction and I was able to compose my nervous self to talk in front of all these healthcare chief technology officers and other executives. I sat next to two women who represented the Ralph Lauren Center for Cancer Care and Prevention located in Harlem. Maureen, who sat to my right, explained that Ralph Lauren quietly donated money to start the clinic in Harlem to allow underprivileged people – citing his own mother who grew up poor and had contracted cancer later in her life – to have access to the same quality of care that he and many of us have. It’s an inspiring story.

I had refrained from drinking any wine before giving my introduction, but needed to take many sips before the official welcome. I told Maureen how nervous I was, and she looked around the room and said matter-of-factly, “You’ll be fine. There’s nobody important enough here that you need to impress.” She – whom you could tell was all no-nonsense and bred of hearty stock – made me laugh, which gave me a boost of energy and confidence. After I presented and sat down, she gave me a firm but familial slap on the shoulder and exclaimed, “Boo-yea!” Somehow, that seemed to me quintessentially New York.

I am now in Dallas for two days, for another dinner event. I’ve only been to Dallas once, back in 2005 for a business conference. At that time, I only frequented the convention center and our hotel. We’ll see what this next leg of my trip brings.

Parting words from MoMA: Appreciate art!

Parting words from MoMA: Appreciate art!

Transitions and Transformations: Pilar Zuniga of Gorgeous and Green

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your slightest look easily will unclose me
though I have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose
– e.e. cummings, American poet, from “somewhere I have never travelled,gladly beyond”

Pilar setting up floral arrangements for a wedding. (Photo credit: JRotsenphotography.com)

Pilar setting up floral arrangements for a wedding. (Photo credit: JRotsenphotography.com)

I first discovered Gorgeous and Green (2946 College Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94705, 510.665.7974) after receiving a beautiful set of reclaimed vintage earrings for my 50th birthday last year. The earrings came in a box with the letters “GG” stamped on the lid. The letters were Art Deco in style – the first G backwards, as if mirroring the other G – and on either side was a flourish of Art Deco-style flowers and greenery. Curious, I asked my friend who gave me the present where she got the earrings. She explained that she was on San Pablo Avenue in West Berkeley and came upon a floral shop that sold unique jewelry. Intrigued, I made a little discovery trip, and I’ve been back to Gorgeous and Green many times since.

A colorful storefront display greets visitors to Gorgeous and Green.

A colorful storefront display greets visitors to Gorgeous and Green.

The warm and inviting entrance to Gorgeous and Green.

The warm and inviting entrance to Gorgeous and Green.

Step inside: A Mix of gorgeous and green goods
The majority of Gorgeous and Green customers are neighbors who live in West Berkeley, although commuters who work in the area also come in during the week. On weekends, the shop is filled with visitors to the East Bay. It’s not uncommon for people to walk in and be unsure of what the shop is selling, admits owner Pilar Zuniga. Her concept is a mix of goods that she and other artisans have created that embody her distinct style – encompassing color, attention to design, vintage feel, sustainability, and the ability to be marketed and displayed in a beautiful and creative way. The gifts in her shop are either one of kind or “embodies the intention of the artist,” she said.

A rustic display of greeting cards from local small presses.

A rustic display of greeting cards from local small presses.

Thus, greetings cards displayed on a white-washed picket-fence gate hung on the wall are made by local, small-scale printing presses. Colorful glassware reclaimed from thrift stores and antique and garage sales dot the shelves throughout the shop. Hand-blown glass by local artisans is re-envisioned as planters for succulents and other plants. Body and bath products are made with natural ingredients and produced in an environmentally friendly manner. Zuniga stocks her shop with goods crafted by artisans whom she researches and finds on the Internet. “I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback,” she said, of her selections. She continues to stock what sells well, but tries to bring in new items.

Reclaimed vintage jewelry dangle from a suspended branch.

Reclaimed vintage jewelry dangle from a suspended branch.

She designs and sells her jewelry, which comprise vintage pieces that she incorporates into a new design. “I like to redo jewelry to make it better or to make it into something someone would enjoy,” she explained. “I’ve always been interested in art – painting, drawing, other craftwork, sewing, making jewelry – I got really into reusing reclaimed vintage. That was always a side thing,” she said. Zuniga showcases creations by other jewelry designers as well, most of which are fashioned from reclaimed materials. Gorgeous and Green carries M.E. Moore‘s jewelry, which I discovered in Zuniga’s shop.

Artwork on the wall seems to spill out of this beautiful arrangement.

Artwork on the wall seems to spill out of this beautiful arrangement.

Roots in sustainability
Sustainability is an important aspect, and Zuniga has ensured that it is expressed in her shop. The San Diego native developed her environmental consciousness when she was a student at UC Berkeley, which opened her up to thinking about the greater good of the world. Not surprisingly, she found her way into the nonprofit sector of public health as a career and remained in northern California because of the area’s “down-to-earth sensibility” and the fact that “everybody is really close.”

When Zuniga was planning her wedding in 2005, she had difficulty finding a sustainable florist, though today there are more environmentally conscious florists. She saw a need to fill and was energized by the concept. Though she enjoyed working with people and in the nonprofit sector, she was losing interest as she moved into management and got behind a desk. Zuniga started her company in 2007 with a focus on floral design and events while still working full-time. She took classes but didn’t go to school for floral design, though she also learned about the industry through her aunt, who was a florist. When she was younger, she helped her aunt with weddings. Zuniga was able to rely on various skills she had learned in her job – designing and evaluating marketing materials. She transformed her garage into her workspace and created gift items specifically for weddings, and her business took off in 2008.

Vintage suitcases hold unique gifts and treasures.

Vintage suitcases hold unique gifts and treasures.

Challenging times
“I really enjoyed the design and artistic piece of it, so I quit my job and opened up a shop,” she said. Zuniga had been eyeing her current storefront and convinced the landlord to rent the space to her in January 2010. Within three weeks, she had opened the first week of February, just in time to take advantage of Valentine’s Day. (In an anniversary of sorts and a repeat of history, Gorgeous and Green moved to its new location, 2946 College Avenue, near Ashby Avenue in Berkeley, this past February from its San Pablo Avenue location.)

Succulent terrariums featuring locally hand-blown glass.

Succulent terrariums featuring locally hand-blown glass.

At the onset, Zuniga faced significant financial challenges, which were exacerbated by the recession. She and her husband – who had started his business years before – had saved money, but in the beginning there were months when she made very little money or none at all. Zuniga logged 60 to 80 hours a week, seven days a week. Despite the grueling schedule and unstable earnings, by the end of the first year, when her lease was to be reviewed, she decided to try another two years. The holidays had buoyed her, and she added, with a laugh, “It could only get better from where it started.” That said, Zuniga burnt herself out the second year with her workload and made the strategic decision to hire people to help in the shop. Though staffing is one of the biggest line items in her budget, she believes the benefits outweighed the cost. Despite being “shackled” to the shop, she says the best thing about being a shop owner is flexibility. “I’m a hard worker, but I don’t have to keep going 110 percent all the time,” she said. She allows herself time to power down or take a break.

Wall-mounted terrariums and planters share a cozy corner of the shop with dried pressed flower earrings.

Wall-mounted terrariums and planters share a cozy corner of the shop with dried pressed flower earrings.

She has since pulled back doing events because of the time and effort involved and competition with larger events companies, and is investing more time showcasing her shop, which she feels needs her support to keep it going. This year she plans on cutting back on the number of events she produces in order to enjoy the few that she plans to take on. The wedding events that were the most memorable for her were the ones in which she was granted creative license. She has done a number of weddings at the Piedmont Community Center, but one in particular enabled her to use brilliant colors and planted materials such as succulents and ferns. “I really enjoyed having the space to do what I wanted to do,” she said. She also did a wedding in Moss Beach, which enabled her to enjoy the drive down the coast and then transform a garden into a vibrant place with washed-up wood that the bride had collected on the beach and had Zuniga incorporate into the floral arrangements.

The shelves are stocked with glassware, jewelry, natural bath and body products, and more goodies.

The shelves are stocked with glassware, jewelry, natural bath and body products, and more goodies.

Taking risks and “throwing up some dust and some dirt”
Zuniga touts the support of her husband as being very significant in her decision to start her own business. When she and her husband first got together, she was the breadwinner while he was trying to get his business going. When his San Francisco-based video production company, Corduroy Media, finally turned and grew, the strain of being the breadwinner eased. “We both have our own businesses now, but I don’t think I would have done it without his business doing well,” she said. When her husband’s business was going strong after its first decade, Zuniga felt it was now her turn.

Gorgeous and Green's San Pablo location before the shop moved to College Avenue.

Gorgeous and Green’s San Pablo location before the shop moved to College Avenue.

She never questioned her decision to open her shop, buoyed with the philosophy that things would take care of themselves. She didn’t worry about being saddled with debt should the business venture not work out. “I’ve been there before and I’ve paid it [debt] off. You just move on and you learn from it,” she said, simply. “It’s just money. But it’s also a chance to be happy and to enjoy what you do and give yourself a chance. You’ll regret it if you don’t [try]. You’ll always regret it.”

If she hadn’t made the change, Zuniga emphasized that she would have missed out on the entire experience – the difficulties and challenges, the enjoyable times, and especially the fact that she overcame so much to get to where she is now. “I continue to do so [overcome adversities], and I surprise myself,” she added. “You just have to put yourself out there.”

Turning serious for a moment, Zuniga noted that society teaches women to eschew being a risk taker. “Part of it is genetic, part of it is maintaining your uterus as a safe space because you want to have children at some point or you might not,” she said, with a laugh. “Evolutionarily, it works that way.” But Zuniga has grown comfortable with embracing risk. “It’s okay to take a risk and not be sure and make big mistakes,” she said. It may not work out, but she says, “At least I jumped on it. I threw up some dust and some dirt, and it will eventually settle.”

Spend a lazy Saturday afternoon checking out boutiques in West Berkeley in a comfy chemise and platform boots made for walking.

Spend a lazy Saturday afternoon checking out boutiques in West Berkeley in a comfy chemise and platform boots made for walking.

A Gorgeous and Green find - a rose necklace made from corn! (Earrings by Carmela Rose and ring from Lava 9, Berkeley, CA)

A Gorgeous and Green find – a rose necklace made from corn! (Earrings by Carmela Rose and ring from Lava 9, Berkeley, CA)

Close-up of the rose necklace made from corn from Gorgeous and Green.

Close-up of the rose necklace made from corn from Gorgeous and Green.

 

Discovering the Contemporary Jewish Museum

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I wanted to convey the joy of being a little boy alive on a certain kind of day.
– Ezra Jack Keating, American author and illustrator

We had planned to celebrate my daughter’s belated 10th birthday “party” this past Saturday with a requested family horseback riding excursion. Due to safety issues over the muddy trails, however, we had to come up with alternative. My daughter, who was inviting a good friend of hers to join us, decided on the Yerba Buena Park and the carousel in San Francisco. David suggested that we include going to the Contemporary Jewish Museum (736 Mission Street, San Francisco, CA 94103, 415.655.7800), since it’s located across the street from the Yerba Buena Center. My daughter was less enthused than my son. She announced in a much-too-early preteen tone of voice that she was “done” with museums – which is surprising coming from someone who loved museums and always brought a sketchbook to draw and take notes. We promptly added the Contemporary Jewish Museum to our itinerary.

The architecture of the Contemporary Jewish Museum is stunning (seen from the western end of the building).

The architecture of the Contemporary Jewish Museum is stunning (seen from the western end of the building).

The Contemporary Jewish Museum is a beautiful piece of architecture. There are only five exhibits in the spacious museum, but it’s the right number of exhibits and square footage to soak in the art and not get overwhelmed.

The Snowy Day
One of the current exhibits is “The Snowy Day and the Art of Ezra Jack Keats” (ongoing through February 24th), which we thought the kids would enjoy. Who doesn’t have a copy of the classic urban story about a young African American boy delighting in the beauty and wonder of snow? I read it as a child and read it to my kids when they were young. “I wanted to convey the joy of being a little boy alive on a certain kind of day,” Keats had written of the genesis of the book, which won the Caldecott Medal in 1963. We were treated to original sketches, storyboards, and final illustrations of his many books, which allowed us to see the individual materials that made up his collages, the printed paper he cut out, the thickness of his paint strokes, and the different techniques he employed, including dipping paper into a mix of paint and other liquids to produce a marbled effect.

Breaking up an all-denim foundation with earthy colors - a textured moto jacket and beloved Frye boots, and embellished with hoop earrings from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA).

Breaking up an all-denim foundation with earthy colors – a textured moto jacket and beloved Frye boots, and embellished with hoop earrings from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA).

Of The Snowy Day, and also his other written works, he wrote that he was more concerned with “capturing a mood” than in developing the plot of his stories. Given that he admired haikus, you can see the influence. Especially in The Snowy Day, readers understand Peter’s deepest feelings and his world beyond the snow in the spare but evocative words Keats chose to give us.

Displays of letters provide us with a snapshot of the era. The Snowy Day was published in 1962, during the Civil Rights Movement. Many people thought Keats was African-American, and he noted that African-Americans especially were disappointed that he was not. Keats responded to a racist review of his book, which was displayed along with letters of support. Most poignant is a series of letters between Keats and a Japanese mother whom he had met during a book trip to Japan and whose son cherished an autographed copy of one of his books. She wrote to let him know how much her son loved that book – it was his most prized possession and he showed it proudly to all his friends and acquaintances. Keats’s most recently published book was the last book her son read before he was fatally injured in a traffic accident the following day. Keats’ letter to her was achingly heartfelt. He never wrote the book that was to memorialize her son, but his letters paid tribute and the exhibit includes a black-and-white photograph of him offering his respects at the boy’s grave.

Styling an outfit around a necklace by Israeli jewelry designer Ayala Bar.

Styling an outfit around a necklace by Israeli jewelry designer Ayala Bar.

I had no idea that Keats was such a prolific writer and illustrator, with more than 80 books to his credit, and author of 22 of those books. I found his Good is in the Mountain, which was published in 1966 and comprises excerpts of texts from different religions, spiritually nourishing. I have a new and deep appreciation for Keats’ artistry and life – born as Jacob Ezra Keats to poor Eastern European Jewish immigrants in Brooklyn in 1916. Bay Area locals should see this exhibit and his wonderful paintings and illustrations before it closes on February 24th. One hopes this exhibit travels to other cities. Keats and his work deserve a wider audience.

The Radical Camera and Black Sabbath exhibits
The other exhibits appealed to both David and me and the kids, which is a rarity to find a museum that appeals to all family members across all exhibits. “The Black Sabbath: The Secret Musical History of Black-Jewish Relations is in a big open room – conducive to dancing, in which my daughter and her friend indulged – with an antique piano and four tables equipped with iPads and headphones. You had a choice of listening to three African-American musical genres from the 1930s to the 1960s, which were influenced by Jewish music, life, and culture. In the playlist “Heebie Jeebies,” for example, you can catch the integration of Yiddish and Black jive during the swing era by such artists as Cab Calloway.

Keeping it simple to showcase Ayala Bar's necklace - J. Crew hot pink velveteen blouse, Club Monaco gold pleated mini and sparkly clutch, Elizabeth and James platforms in a neutral color, Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance bracelet, and rings by Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA) and BCBG Max Azria.

Keeping it simple to showcase Ayala Bar’s necklace – J. Crew hot pink velveteen blouse, Club Monaco gold pleated mini and sparkly clutch, Elizabeth and James platforms in a neutral color, Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance bracelet, and rings by Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA) and BCBG Max Azria.

David, who shares an appreciation of black-and-white photography with me, loved “The Radical Camera: New York’s Photo League, 1936-1951.” The exhibit comprises the work of more than 50 Photo League members, who embraced an aesthetic that honored realism and the documentary, and married social activism and art. The photographs capture the harshness of the Depression, World War II, Jim Crow, and the Red Scare periods of our history. This exhibit celebrates historical documentation through the beauty of black-and-white photography.

StoryCorps
Finally, I’m glad we ventured down one short wing of the museum on the first floor. At the end of a well-curated exhibit by contemporary Jewish architect Stanley Saitowitz is the StoryCorps StoryBooth. Amazingly and lucky for us locals, the Contemporary Jewish Museum is the first museum to host one of its recording booths. If you have listened to some of the recordings on National Public Radio (NPR), you are familiar with the largest oral history project in the country, capturing ordinary people’s lives and histories in their own words. A TV monitor played a loop of recordings that were translated into animated shorts. David and I wanted to keep watching, too, after shedding a few tears over some of the stories – particularly the one of the older couple from Brooklyn whose love remained strong throughout their many decades of marriage, even after his untimely death by cancer; the letters he wrote to her every day of their time together was replaced with the thousands of letters she received from NPR listeners when they heard about his passing, which she reads one a day. But we had to pull the kids away in order to see the rest of the museum. I brought home a postcard with information to reserve an interview time. Hopefully, the booth will still be there in the summer when my sister visits from San Antonio and we can record and preserve our parents’ immigrant lives.

We will certainly return to the Contemporary Jewish Museum. For locals, if you’ve never been, I highly recommend it. If you’re planning a visit to San Francisco, this should be on your list of destinations.

Ayala Bar's three-in-one necklace comprising glass beads, Swarovski crystals, mineral stones, fabric, and metal. It has a boho feel to it.

Ayala Bar’s three-in-one necklace comprising glass beads, Swarovski crystals, mineral stones, fabric, and metal. It has a boho feel to it.

Gray matter

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Be comfortable in your own skin, and your style will come out.
– Ikram Goldman, Ikram boutique owner, Chicago

My parents show off their cake at their 25th wedding anniversary, May 1982.

My parents show off their cake at their 25th wedding anniversary, May 1982.

When my sisters and I were going through my mother’s photographs to put in a slideshow for her memorial last January, I came across ones of my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary party. My mother was a month shy of 31 when she got married to my father. So she was nearing 56 when we celebrated their anniversary at a restaurant with our family and all of our relatives. In December 1984, when my sister, Heidi, my mom, and I went to the Philippines – to commemorate the end of my college career and also to embrace my heritage after taking many Asian American Studies classes – my mom was 58 years old.

Me, my lola Salud, and my mother, Baguio City, the Philippines, December 1984. My mother shows just a little gray along the hairline.

Me, my lola Salud, and my mother, Baguio City, the Philippines, December 1984. My mother shows just a little gray along the hairline.

I marveled at how in the pictures from those two events, my mother looked incredibly young. No sign of gray hair. My middle sister Joyce recalled that she berated my mom for plucking her gray hairs, telling her she would go bald. It was around the early 1990s that Joyce introduced my mother to coloring her hair. So at the time of her 25th anniversary and our trip to the Philippines, my mother had plucked her grays – but clearly still had a healthy production of melanin.

No doubt, genetics played a major role in her youthful looks. But at some point, she did color her hair. I, too, plucked at the gray hairs, and when they multiplied to the point where potential baldness had to be considered as a real risk, I faced the decision of either coloring or leaving the gray strands alone. I had always thought I would be the kind of woman who would eschew coloring her hair. Just age gracefully, I argued in my head. But at the age of 44, when the gray hair began exposing themselves around my hairline and at the crown of my head, I succumbed to the practice.

Does she or doesn’t she?
In my neck of the woods – the Berkeley area – more women than not embrace their gray. Was it a defect on my part that I did not? My hairdresser, who has been cutting my hair since I was 29 and whom I have followed from salon to salon through the years, has been badgering me in the last few years to stop coloring my hair. He tells me that “modern women” can carry off gray hair. He also insisted that the owner of the beauty shop where he worked had developed leukemia from having undergone too many Japanese hair-straightening treatments. In all honesty, I don’t know anything about the pros and cons of the treatment and can’t comment on whether the chemicals contributed to her death. I do worry about the chemicals that are seeping into my scalp, which is one of the reasons why I don’t color that often and traded permanent color, which made my hair dry as straw, to semi-permanent color, which seems less harsh, relatively speaking, and fades in a more “natural” way.

My husband, David, whose hair is salt and pepper, keeps reminding me that there’s nothing wrong with gray hair and he’d prefer that I go au natural. Some people look distinguished with a head of gray hair, but I don’t put myself in that company just yet. One of my good friends from college feels that gray hair makes women look older than they are, which is true depending upon how the hair is styled, how the woman dresses herself, and the coloring of the gray. While dull gray is not a flattering color, white or silver can be stunning.

Comfortable with gray
While one can argue whether or not a woman looks better with colored hair, I’ve come to see it as a personal decision, which should be respected and even celebrated. My sister, Heidi, who turned 53 in mid-August and noticed the gray in her mid-30s, has never colored her hair, which is even more dramatic and pronounced given the longer length of her locks. She prefers low maintenance when it comes to grooming, which was especially critical when she was an elementary-school teacher (she has since retired this past year). She doesn’t blow dry her hair because she feels it’s a health hazard and has the same health concern about hair coloring. My sister grows her hair long so she can cut it every three years and donate it to such organizations as the American Cancer Society and Ulta, which require hair to be free of chemicals. She tells me that they don’t accept donations with too many gray hairs, so this may be her last contribution.

My sister, Heidi, and me at Rockefeller Center, New York, September 2012.

My sister, Heidi, and me at Rockefeller Center, New York, September 2012.

“There have been a dozen women who have told me that they are following my example and are not coloring their hair anymore,” Heidi wrote to me in an e-mail. “They just don’t like the look when transitioning from not coloring to going all gray. I think they are becoming more comfortable with the idea of having gray hair. I think they also got tired of coloring their hair and they’re doing it for themselves and not for appearance anymore.” (Although I feel compelled to note that you can color your hair and do it for yourself and not for others.)

A friend of mine, who has a lovely thick mane of silvery hair, decided to dispense with the many years of maintenance, time, and expense associated with hair coloring. “You’re finally comfortable with it, and you just grow into your gray hair,” she told me in an e-mail. Through the years, she had gotten close with her colorist, whom she considers an adopted daughter and also followed as her colorist changed salons. While my friend doesn’t get to see her former colorist on a regular basis anymore, when they do get together it’s “for coffee instead of coloring,” she wrote.

Hair as an ‘artistic medium’
One of my colleagues from my company, Diana Manos, 53, who is a senior editor with Healthcare IT News, said that turning 50 has liberated her to experiment with hair color. “I like hair as an artistic medium (involving color),” she wrote to me in an e-mail. Diana doesn’t believe that hair color should be age-related. She sported a big bright fuschia stripe, noting that getting the flash of color was something she has wanted to do her whole life. “I feel that being my current age finally freed me to do it,” she wrote, although she has since moved on from pink because it fades too easily.

My colleague Diana sporting her fuschia streak.

My colleague Diana sporting her fuschia streak.

“Color is color. If you don’t like the color gray – and I don’t – you don’t have to wear it, in our day and age,” she wrote. “I feel hair is a very distinctive aspect of our outer selves. If we want, we can use our hair to represent our inner selves. How you feel about your hair is very important to how you see yourself. No one at any age should accept hair they don’t want to wear.”

While Diana noted that she doesn’t like the color gray on her, she recognizes that some women can carry it off. “I am always fascinated by and on the lookout for women who wear it like they mean it,” she said. “Emmylou Harris is one famous example, but I see good examples around me all the time. If I had to one day wear gray hair, I would probably put some black stripes in it to spice it up.”

Celebrating silver - in my dress for now, Las Vegas, February 2012.

Celebrating silver – in my dress for now, Las Vegas, February 2012.

What feels right
As for me, I’ve made the tentative decision that I’ll go completely gray when my wrinkles become more pronounced. I’ll admit that I raise my eyebrows when I see an elderly Filipino man or woman with jet-black hair and wrinkles to rival an elephant because it seems like a disconnect between hair and body. I can’t imagine that I’ll do anything to my face, so when the wrinkles deepen, the gray will be let loose.

I’m always fascinated by other women’s opinions about and reasons for coloring or going gray, but the bottom line is: Respect other women’s decisions and do what feels right for you. Whatever you do, first and foremost, do it for yourself. Once you embrace that, the decisions come – of course – nice and easy.

The best way to accent silver and gray is with lots of beading, sequins, rhinestones, and shiny metallic.

The best way to accent silver and gray is with lots of beading, sequins, rhinestones, and shiny metallic.

Gray is the perfect backdrop or a lot of shine from different materials and accessories, both vintage (earrings, ring, and bracelet) and new (necklace, stack of rings, pumps, and skirt).

Gray is the perfect backdrop or a lot of shine from different materials and accessories, both vintage (earrings, ring, and bracelet) and new (necklace, stack of rings, pumps, and skirt).

Redefining supermom

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“Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to ‘jump at the sun.’ We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.”
– Zora Neale Hurston, folklorist and writer, from Dust Tracks on a Road

I was 38 when I became a mom for the first time and then gave birth to my daughter when I was two months shy of my 41st birthday. One thing I’ve learned – in a nod to the wonderment of motherhood, parenthood: You can never stop learning parenting lessons, no matter what your age, if your heart and mind are open to them.

Supermom wears sparkly tights, an ombre velveteen shift, and ruffled booties.

Supermom wears sparkly tights, an ombre velveteen shift, and ruffled booties.

When David and I found out I was pregnant with our son, we made plans for me to continue working until his birth and then allow me to work on my novel, but morning sickness was taking its toll and my job as a business development writer for a health insurance carrier was neither enjoyable nor fulfilling. I quit in my third trimester. I had been writing articles on the side for a good friend from graduate school and was expecting to rely on increasing freelance assignments to replace my regular paychecks, which we needed. By not commuting or having an office job with set hours, we reasoned, I could stay at home and work around my son’s schedule.

It wasn’t easy. The experience of being a first-time mother was amazing, magical, confusing, exhausting and a whirlwind. Speaking for myself only, I could not imagine dropping him off in the mornings and picking him up in the afternoons, and I cherished being with him during the day. At the same time, however, it was stressful to conduct phone interviews, hoping he wouldn’t wake up, as he stirred in the motorized swing on the other side of the bedroom, my makeshift office. Once, I even nursed him during an interview. Surely a combination of sleep deprivation and the determination to multi-task whenever I could resulted in this jaw-dropping lapse of judgment. I remember halfway into the interview when the interviewee, thankfully a woman, asked me if I was nursing. She recognized the sound and marveled that I could do these two things at once. I vowed never to put myself in an embarrassing situation again, though she and I had a good laugh over it and she told me I shouldn’t apologize at all. That’s what women – mothers – had to do to make things work. It didn’t stop me from finding other ways to multi-task.

In the fog of early motherhood, I remember feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. I missed talking with adults face to face. There came a time when I could no longer handle the many assignments and take care of him full-time, and my mother was no longer able to stay for a week each month to watch him while I worked. I reluctantly agreed to David’s suggestion that we find a nearby family daycare so I could be more productive and not be up all hours of the night to make up for the work that I couldn’t get done during the day. I felt guilty and angry with myself – an early admission that I failed as supermom. I couldn’t take care of him full-time and help contribute financially. At first, and at the same time, it was difficult to be alone in the house and to admit that I could be so productive in this new situation.

Supermom gets her energy from crystal - reclaimed vintage chandelier parts strung on brass chains from End of Century (NYC).

Supermom gets her energy from crystal – reclaimed vintage chandelier parts strung on brass chains from End of Century (NYC).

But give supermom an inch and she’ll take a foot. I was going to make up for this shortcoming. Being highly organized, I made sure that everything was done before David came home from his long day at the office. The laundry was folded, ironed and put away. Dinner was on the table and the kitchen cleaned up. The house was always neat and clean (we had two dogs who shed a lot, so I vacuumed every day). I will admit that I even ironed the bed sheets. Groceries and other errands were done during the day. Bills were paid and filed. Weekends were supposed to be cleared so we could have family time. The only problem was that while the house was in shipshape order, I was still working round the clock and I was even more exhausted and sleep deprived.

The opportunity to go back to an office job came when my freelance editorial work for a magazine that covered people, technology and capital turned into a full-time position. I was thrilled to join the adult world, really enjoyed the work itself and overcame my guilt of having a set workday away from home. I negotiated to be able to come in early and leave early, so I could pick up my son at a reasonable hour in the afternoon. I still remember clock watching and the mad dash of pushing the stroller three blocks to the family daycare and then running to the BART station to catch my train into San Francisco. Few of my colleagues were married, and I endured a few snide comments when I left for the day because many of them stayed past dinnertime, when our editor brought takeout to the employee lunchroom. Never mind that after I put my son to bed and the house was in order, I parked myself in front of the computer to write my feature-length articles late into the night.

By the time my daughter arrived in December 2002, my work situation had worsened, mostly due to my boss’s irrational behavior, low morale and the high-tech industry bubble bursting. Overcome with morning sickness, increasing workload, politics and new management due to the bank taking over the company, I quit ahead of my due date. Again, the goal was to get back to my novel, return to freelance work full-time and stay with my daughter while she was an infant. When my son turned two, he transitioned to a preschool and when my daughter was six months old – much younger than I had thought she’d be for her first transition, I put her in my son’s old family daycare to be able to get more work done.

Supermom ready for action in blue faux fur.

Supermom ready for action in blue faux fur.

As the kids got older and into elementary school, the workday got shorter because the school day was shorter than the preschool and family daycare hours. When my son was in second grade, he drew a picture and wrote a few sentences about his family, which was displayed at the school’s Open House. He wrote: “This is my family. My mom works wen [sic] I am at school… My dad workes [sic] the whole day.” I remembered feeling somewhat cheated. I worked all the time, but it seemed I was a victim of my own success. I could set the dinner menu for the week in 20 minutes and go to the dry cleaners and two grocery stores in less than an hour and a half. By dinnertime, the kids had completed and I had corrected their homework and I had given or supervised their baths. I rocked them in bed, and then began my second shift of work. Nothing was out-of-order in the house. Except for me.

Gradually, I let go of things. The wrinkles in the clean bed sheets don’t bother me as much as they used to. I relented and let David do the weekly menus and get the groceries. I ignore the dust bunnies made of our dog Rex’s fur. The kids rake the leaves, pick up the dog poop, empty out the dishwasher, clean the bathrooms, dust, strip their own beds and so on. (Yes, it helps when the kids are older and take up chores!)

But the biggest thing I did was redefine what it means to be a supermom. There’s nothing wrong with being a supermom, but I wanted to personalize the qualifications to suit me. Last year, I asked my daughter if she wanted to be a writer because she has quite an imagination and loves to write and make up stories. She flatly said no. She didn’t want to be a writer because she said I worked too much, I was up late and I was always tired (read: cranky). That was my wake-up call.

Abloom with resin and satin and tulle roses.

Abloom with resin and satin and tulle roses.

While I value being able to work my schedule so I can walk them to school in the mornings, pick them up after school, be at home with them when they get sick (last winter they both came down with pneumonia on separate occasions and were sick for two weeks each), chauffeur them to their various sporting and other extracurricular activities, and most importantly, make home-cooked meals and have dinner together as a family, I don’t want either my son or my daughter to think that this is the norm for moms or that moms who opt for this lifestyle have to give up who they are. To be sure, all moms make different sacrifices for the family life they choose or that are chosen for them. But in making sacrifices, we can’t let go of what gives us, as women and persons, life.

So when I took a week of vacation this past April to work on the revision of my novel, I talked with my son and daughter about sticking with something despite the barriers, finding a passion and nurturing it, and doing something that truly makes you happy. They saw how happy, how buoyant and energetic, I was. This past June, when my son graduated from sixth grade, we had a long discussion about motivation and perseverance. I told him that fear of failing had kept me from buckling down and finishing the novel but that I was guaranteed to fail if I didn’t try. Wide-eyed, he asked me, “So you mean if you hadn’t been afraid, you would have finished the novel already?” I nodded, and then he nodded slowly and walked away in silence. It remains to be seen when he’ll fully appreciate that nugget of wisdom. But I’m hoping that the notion of a fearless mom has new meaning for my kids.

Tunic - not cape - and leggings.

Tunic – not cape – and leggings.

Also helping me to meet my goal of becoming who I want to be is writing this blog. I’m discovering that my blog has created another valuable by-product, in addition to providing exercise for my writer’s muscles and sharing the challenges and beauty of this time of my life with a bigger community. My posts reflect many of the things I want to tell or share with my kids and, thanks to the Internet and technology, my words and photos are accessible and permanent, relatively speaking. It is, I’ll admit, a form of multi-tasking.

My definition of a supermom has evolved to this: One who loves her children unconditionally, supports them and is always there for them in whatever capacity she can, and pursues her hopes and dreams so that they see and know that the pursuit makes her a whole and happy mom and person. Under those conditions can she love and support fully. These traits are not mutually exclusive. They are also not the traits of anyone else’s but mine.

More importantly, no ironing bed sheets required.

Grayling earrings from Jenny K (El Cerrito, CA) and 3D ring from MOMA (NYC). (The ring, however, is not made of Kryptonite.)

Grayling earrings from Jenny K (El Cerrito, CA) and 3D ring from MOMA (NYC). (The ring, however, is not made of Kryptonite.)

 

Transitions and Transformations Profile*: Laura Leventer of Personal Pizazz

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Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.
Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
 – Gloria Steinem, American journalist and women’s rights advocate

Laura Leventer, proprietor of Personal Pizazz.

Laura Leventer, proprietor of Personal Pizazz.

I first met Laura Leventer three years ago at a New Year’s Eve party thrown by a good friend who has known Laura since high school. I was struck by her utter confidence and fashion style – a fusion of classic, vintage and glamour. It was not a surprise to learn that she was proprietor of a clothing store called Personal Pizazz (3048 Claremont Avenue, Berkeley, CA, 94705, 510.420.0704).

What’s interesting to me is that Laura, now 45, was a teacher for 10 years and then spent the following six years as a department chairperson, principal, and district administrator. Though she loved teaching, working in administration proved to be unrewarding, very political and extremely stressful, especially on her family, with her son being very young at the time. The idea of opening her own clothing store for mostly women but also men wasn’t far-fetched, as Laura had always loved fashion and owned a business license for her personal shopping gigs on the side. She had worked in retail in college and gained valuable knowledge about the entire range of retail processes, and attended a couple of shows and made a few connections in her capacity as a personal shopper. Laura took a district-level administrative position to start saving for her big investment. When her father passed away and left her with enough money to add to her savings, she felt comfortable taking the risk and made that life-changing leap.

Purple walls provide a vibrant backdrop to highlight the luxurious clothing and accessories.

Purple walls provide a vibrant backdrop to highlight the luxurious clothing and accessories.

Filling the fashion niche in Berkeley
When Laura was an administrator, she wore business suits that many admired for being original, different and the antithesis of the retail-chain business suit. “That was the niche I wanted to fill,” she explained. “That was my original direction when I opened – nice-looking business wear that was functional enough for work but interesting enough so you didn’t feel like you were putting on a boring suit.”

Inviting armoires full of stylish clothes.

Inviting armoires full of stylish clothes.

Although she has clients who come to her store for that very reason, they are few and far between. Personal Pizazz’s clientele are mostly women 35 and up, although the timeless styles she carries appeal to all ages, such as formal dresses for proms and bar mitzvahs. Laura has found that many women are no longer dressing in business suits and the ones who do, for whatever reasons, are sticking with the retail-chain look. It’s been a challenge to reach out to them. “I’ve had to evolve to who comes in and what people want,” she explained. Berkeley is already home to artistic, flowing, interesting clothing shops. “It’s done; there are tons of that,” she said. There are, however, very few shops that offer fitted clothing. “I have people come in all the time and ask me if this is a vintage shop because the clothing is more classic style,” she said. And with its purple walls, chandeliers, carved sales-register desk, antique armoires and curio cabinets, and velvet dressing-room drapes, the vibe is definitely vintage.

One-woman business
As the sole employee, Laura is at the store six days a week. “It’s just me doing everything,” she said. As such, being organized is extremely important. She does her own accounting and all administrative tasks, which she tries to complete during store hours to keep work and life in balance. That said, her priority is to always be available for her customers. Despite the creation of charts and graphs to identify trends and make forecasts, there’s no logic to traffic flow into her store. “When I unlock the door for business, I never know what to expect,” she said, which is another reason to be organized and to plan ahead.

Tidying up the winter scarves near the Personal Pizazz neon sign before the first customers arrive.

Tidying up the winter scarves near the Personal Pizazz neon sign before the first customers arrive.

Laura goes to Los Angeles for market week four to five times a year. “Since I’m here six days a week, I’m very organized about what I do,” she said. She flies down Monday morning, attends 20-minute, pre-arranged appointments all day, and flies home that night. The few times she flies back East for appointments with her New York City-based vendors, she takes the Sunday red-eye flight and flies back Monday night. She previews vendors’ digitized line sheets ahead of time, which streamlines her appointments. “I’ve learned to never buy at the show because you will make mistakes,” she said. “You never know if another company will offer similar clothing at a better price or different color.” Laura takes detailed notes and snaps pictures with her iPad, which help her determine what she will order when she returns home. “I am particular and I know what I like,” she said. “I know what works for my customers.”

Laura has learned to always be prepared for the unexpected. Case in point: The ceiling lights died last Thursday, on the day that her store is open until 8PM. While her husband was willing to replace them, the lease calls for professional servicing. “That’s money I didn’t plan on spending, but I don’t have a choice,” she said. Therefore, Laura noted: “Always give yourself wiggle room.” She’s learned from a neighboring business that anything can go wrong and when it does you need to know what to do and whom to call.

Despite the challenges of being a business owner and sole employee, Laura revels in her son’s assessment of her career – indeed, her life: “As my son says, now my job is my hobby and my hobby is my job,” she said.

Personal Pizazz finds - Tocca coat and Asian Eye scarf.

Personal Pizazz finds – Tocca coat and Asian Eye scarf.

Q&A: In her own words
Q: Describe Personal Pizazz in 10 words or less.
A: Classic, quality clothing with a twist.

Q: What are some of the challenges you’ve encountered?
A: I’ve lived in and near Berkeley my whole life, and I dress the way I dress, but there aren’t that many people who do. Even people who want to, think they can’t because other people don’t. There is pressure to not care about clothing. That’s a constant battle. If it [an article of clothing] makes you happy, then your outlook is better, you feel happy, and in turn you look better.

 

Q: What’s the best thing about being the proprietor of Personal Pizazz?
A: Not having to answer to anyone else. My previous boss was the school board and I was jumping through hoops. There’s a lot of bureaucracy – forms to fill out, things you have to do. I still have a lot of forms to fill out and things I have to do, but I don’t have to justify or explain it to somebody else.

Personal Pizazz find - Zelda coat.

Personal Pizazz find – Zelda coat.

Q: What advice would you give to women who are looking to make a career transition or transformation?
A: Do your homework. To be honest, I thought I’d be making a lot more profit by now. There are decisions you have to make along the way. You have to create a nest egg. I was saving and saving until I got to the point where I could say, okay, I can go this amount of time without bringing home any money. And I have this much that I can invest and don’t expect to be able to take out because you’re not going to turn a profit quickly. People have to discover you and they have to become faithful. Whatever the business happens to be, you’re going to make mistakes in the beginning until you figure out what your niche is and what’s going to work. You have to have enough exposure so people know you’re there.

Personal Pizazz is located on beautiful, tree-lined Claremont Avenue in Berkeley.

Personal Pizazz is located on beautiful, tree-lined Claremont Avenue in Berkeley.

Post script: If you’re a local and this blog has whetted your interest, make your way to Personal Pizazz and let Laura know that you read about her store here. If you’re not a local but find your way to the San Francisco Bay Area, make Personal Pizazz a destination point.

*My Transitions and Transformations profile series chronicle stories of amazing women, not limited to women 50 and above, who have made inspirational and creative transitions or transformations in their lives. The series will run bi-weekly.