Dianthus love: back in the garden

Sir, the year growing ancient,
Not yet on summer’s death, nor on the birth
Of trembling winter, the fairest
flowers o’ the season
Are our carnations and streak’d gillyvors,
Which some call nature’s bastards: of that kind
Our rustic garden’s barren; and I care not
To get slips of them.
– William Shakespeare, English poet, playwright, and actor, from The Winter’s Tale

This past Memorial Day weekend was filled with research, youth baseball, and gardening – a healthy balance of all three. On Saturday, I took a break from watching my son play and focused on reading my research materials. I then took a break from research and made a bouquet for my friend Raissa.

Different kinds of flowers abound in this bouquet: the first gladiola, Bird of Paradise, hydrangea, alstroemeria, dahlia, scabiosa anthemifolia, and fern.

Different kinds of flowers abound in this bouquet: the first gladiola, dianthus, Bird of Paradise, hydrangea, alstroemeria, dahlia, scabiosa anthemifolia, a succulent, and fern.

I was so enthralled with my dianthus caryophyllus (otherwise known as a carnation) “Chomley Farran,” which has given me such beautiful blooms this spring (in fact, I don’t think it gave me much of anything the last number of years), that I was obsessed with planting more in my garden. I only have two dianthus flowers in the side yard.

Welcome to Annie's Annuals!

Welcome to Annie’s Annuals!

So off Isabella and I went to Annie’s Annuals (740 Market Avenue, Richmond, CA 94801, 510.215.3301). I made a beeline for the dianthus alley and scooped up six varieties: more “Chomley Farran,” dianthus caryophyllus “Ric Rac”; and dianthus perpetual carnation “John Barrington’s Bliss,” “Mad Hatter,” “White Rabbit,” and “Queen of Hearts.” Of course, we had to linger and check out the chickens, the other flowers, the garden ornaments, and compost.

A concrete structure decorated with found art at Annie's Annuals.

A concrete structure decorated with found art at Annie’s Annuals.

One of the women working at Annie’s Annuals told me I may see a few blooms from my tiny dianthus plants, if I’m lucky. More likely, my flowers will bloom next season. I’m an impatient gardener, but there will be plenty of other flowers to tend to this summer.

You can literally get lost in the rows and plants at Annie's Annuals.

You can literally get lost in the rows and plants at Annie’s Annuals.

My friend Lauren Ari's artwork throughout Annie's Annuals.

My friend Lauren Ari’s artwork throughout Annie’s Annuals.

I spent Sunday afternoon moving concrete pots that had been empty for years from various points in the backyard to a corner of the yard, filling the pots up and amending the soil, and finally putting the new plants in their new homes. I call it my dianthus garden. As I turned the soil over, mixing compost with clay soil, I felt refreshed. It has been a long time since I spent this much time working on the garden, planting plants as opposed to weeding and tidying up the side yard. Garden fever has struck. Dianthus love erupted. I look forward to my new favorite flower. I’ll get a few this season, but anticipate bouquets upon bouquets next summer. Welcome dianthus garden!

My new dianthus garden in a corner of the backyard, with poppies and an unknown plant.

My new dianthus garden in a corner of the backyard, with poppies and an unknown plant.

Overcoming overwhelmed

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.
– Leonard Bernstein, American conductor, composer, author, music lecturer, and pianist

A comfortable outfit to ward off feeling overwhelmed: cropped sweater over a high-low flowing blouse, dark-rinse jeans, and platform sandals.

A comfortable outfit to ward off feeling overwhelmed: cropped sweater over a high-low flowing blouse, dark-rinse jeans, and platform sandals.

The other day I was reading an online article on the financial planning site LearnVest. I stopped dead in my tracks upon reaching this quote: “I kept waking up in a panic at 4 A.M. worrying – not only about all of the stuff on my to-do list that I hadn’t done that day and how much more there was to do, but also whether I was missing my life even as I was living it.” Wait! Did LearnVest interview me? That was me to a T, I told myself. Maybe I wasn’t waking up in a panic, but for the past month, as I have attempted to go to bed earlier in the evening, I have been waking up earlier. It’s as if my internal clock cannot program more than six hours of sleep. I open my eyes and am wide awake anywhere between 4 and 5 in the morning. And I’m conscious of what I need to do, what deadline is before me that day. Some mornings I wake up with a mental check list of what is going to happen that day; other mornings, I am filled with panic about a deadline.

The person being interviewed was, in fact, Brigid Schulte, The Washington Post journalist and mother of two, who wrote what she calls an “accidental” book, Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has Time, because she wanted to research why she and many of us are running ourselves ragged. In her interview with LearnVest, Schulte said the rise in overworking ourselves began in the 1980s. She referenced Katrina Alcorn, author of Maxed Out: American Moms on the Brink, who said that society expects us to work as if we have no children and to have families as if we have no work. I won’t go into the health consequences of being stressed out; we intuitively know the correlation between stress, overwork, and lack of sleep to chronic illness – we don’t need our fears to be validated with research and studies.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Luxe Revival reclaimed vintage necklace (Uncommon Objects, Austin, TX), Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings (El Cerrito, CA), and beaded bracelets.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Luxe Revival reclaimed vintage necklace (Uncommon Objects, Austin, TX), Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings (El Cerrito, CA), and beaded bracelets.

Schulte pointed out that in our rat-race society, we look down on the pursuit of leisure, which she says we equate to being lazy. “We clearly have lost all sense of its value as we’ve gotten wrapped up in busyness and the feeling that we always have to be ‘productive’ and ‘doing’ something,” she lamented. I slunk in my office chair, guilt warming over me. I’m one of those people touting always being productive. In my defense, I don’t believe in always doing something for the sake of being in motion, for the sake of not being at rest (on the couch, that is). After all, motion is only worth it if it enables you to check something off of your to-do list. Insert self-conscious laughter here. I’ll admit that for the longest stretch I could not sit down and read because there was way too much to do and I couldn’t bear for the world to keep moving on without me. As I have gotten older, the notion that I have less time to do what I need to do, which results in me going into overdrive, has interfered with what I actually need and want to do. Reading is an activity that makes me a better writer and enriches my mind on so many levels, but the act of sitting down and not producing something, not having something tangible to show for being at rest, if you will, was unacceptable to me. Thankfully, I have overcome that silliness, but it points to the affliction that we can’t seem to find a cure for.

Play with lengths, height, and color. You can venture into cropped top territory with sheer blouses.

Play with lengths, height, and color. You can venture into cropped top territory with sheer blouses.

Defining leisure
Schultze makes the case for embracing leisure, which is connected to creativity, problem solving, and the birth of civilization – the creation of art, philosophy, science, history, and so on. She wants us to recapture the value of play and break the bonds of stress and overwork. That to-do list? Don’t do it. In fact, don’t make a to-do list. That’s what I got from the interview. I’m sure the book has other tangible best practices. But I don’t have time to read it. I already know why I’m overwhelmed. I understand what I can and can’t change, even if that understanding doesn’t bring full-blown serenity. I have to work full-time for the time being, but I don’t have to let job demands kill me. If sleep deprivation negatively impacts my productivity and quality of my day job, then I make the decision to get more hours of sleep. It took a while to come to that realization and it took failing health to get to that point, but I learned my lesson. Telling me to chuck my to-do list is not an option. Now that I’m well rested most of the time, I get a lot more done. When I see all those check marks on my to-do list, I am buoyed and the sense of being overwhelmed is greatly mitigated. And I end up having “free” time, otherwise known as leisure time.

But let’s define leisure. If you had free time, defined as time in which you are not doing work for your day job, whatever that may be, what would you do with it? Some people may not think weeding is leisure, but when I am in my side yard weeding and pruning, I enter a Zen-like existence that actually insulates me from the worries that are waiting for me in my home office. It’s just me and the garden, which offers me both singular focus and an openness that allows my mind to wander. I welcome physical activity, and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I stand up and survey my tidy yard.

Tie colors together with splashy platform sandals and bring in vintage touches (reclaimed vintage matchbox necklace and my own early 1990s vintage Talbots equestrian-style crossbody bag.

Tie colors together with splashy platform sandals and bring in vintage touches (reclaimed vintage matchbox necklace and my own early 1990s vintage Talbots equestrian-style crossbody bag.

If I didn’t have my blog and my fiction writing, I would have more time to garden and to organize my disorganized home. I’d go to more of my kids’ sporting events. I’d be able to watch television – these days mostly just Major League Baseball games – but without multi-tasking – ironing, paying bills and reconciling check registers, responding to e-mails. I would just sit and watch. Am I sad that I can’t do that? I sneak in singularly focused activities every once in a while. But as Robert Frost, one of my favorite poets, wrote in his famous poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, “But I have promises to keep/And miles to go before I sleep.” So long as they are the things I really want to do, I am okay with staying up a little longer than I should, multi-tasking to get them done. So long as what is overwhelming me is about what I want to do – in my current case it is feeling overwhelmed at starting a new novel – and I take it as a call to action, I can live with that. By all means, mitigate being overwhelmed at work, but  make sure that what you are doing with the rest of your day, your life, is what you want to do and what brings you joy.

Bouquet time!

A flower blossoms for its own joy.
– Oscar Wilde, Irish playwright, poet, and author

We may have had a drought this past winter, but the strange weather has resulted in some of my flowers blooming earlier than usual. My alstroemeria, or Peruvian lily, which was a gift from my friend Raissa’s mom – a prolific gardener in her own right – has exploded this year in our front yard. Both hydrangea plants have gotten much larger and are also blooming like crazy, whereas in previous years they have been stingy with their flower production. Some of my dahlias, which don’t bloom until June, are already budding. I usually don’t start my weekly delivery of bouquets – my donation for my son’s middle school auction – until next month, but I figured why not share my bounty with the winning bidder, who happened to be last year’s winning bidder and was looking forward to another summer of an explosion of color in a vase.

This past weekend, in fact, I had enough flowers to create three bouquets – for my Portola Middle School auction winner, my friend Tana’s open studio (which was extremely successful!), and my friend Soizic. Now that is a bountiful week!

Variation on a theme: all three bouquets offered Bird of Paradise, alstroemeria, hydrangea, scabiosa anthemifolia, dianthus plumarius, and ferns.

Variation on a theme: all three bouquets offered Bird of Paradise, pink alstroemeria, pink hydrangea, brilliant blue scabiosa anthemifolia, magenta dahlias, pink and magenta dianthus plumarius, and ferns.

Spring offering: a bias cut mermaid-hem dress sprinkled with tiny flowers.

Spring offering: an old favorite of mine from years ago, a bias-cut mermaid-hem dress sprinkled with tiny flowers.

A spring breeze ruffles my comfy spring dress.

A spring breeze ruffles my comfy spring dress, which is complemented with strappy platform sandals and structured Cole-Haan handbag.

Details: Satya Jewelry earrings (NYC), Sundance cuff and stack of rings, Eskell fan ring (Chicago), and antique document holder-turned-necklace (Kate Peterson Designs, El Cerrito, CA).

Details: Satya Jewelry sterling silver earrings (NYC), Sundance cuff and stack of rings, Eskell fan ring (Chicago), and antique document holder-turned-necklace (Kate Peterson Designs, El Cerrito, CA).

Sandal weather!

Sandal weather!

Vintage love: Vivian’s evolution

Not on one strand are all life’s jewels strung.
 – William Morris, English artist, writer, textile designer, and socialist

Almost a year ago, I found Vivian in a shop across from Fat Apple’s Restaurant in El Cerrito:

Antique document holder with the name "Vivian" engraved on it.

Antique document holder with the name “Vivian” engraved on it.

She was in the display case of the cluttered shop full of antique and vintage jewelry, furniture, home décor, and housewares, vintage-inspired clothing, and oddly enough, a floral shop within the shop. The store was closing its doors for good, and I happened to come at the right time, when the prices of items were being discounted. As I asked to see what looked to be an old, very thin lighter, I was told by the shopkeeper that women immigrating to this country often wore document holders around their neck while on ships and pulled out their paperwork when they arrived on Ellis Island. I loved the backstory, and Vivian immediately came home with me.

For several months after bringing Vivian home with me, I had envisioned wearing the document holder as a necklace. Of course, that meant having it attached to a chain. But I didn’t want to just put it on a chain. At the beginning of the year, I finally took it to Kate Peterson Designs (KPD), and we discussed my vision for Vivian’s transformation. I wanted the chain to complement the sterling silver case, and I wanted to case to hang mid-chest. I wanted stones and since labradorite is one of my favorite minerals, we decided on five of them of different shapes.

Strung on an oxidized chain with labradorite drops and tags.

Strung on an oxidized chain with labradorite drops and tags.

A close-up so you can see the tags and Vivian's name engraved below the lid of the document holder.

A close-up so you can see the tags and Vivian’s name engraved below the lid of the document holder.

I knew I wanted tags, so Kate suggested the word “spirit” to celebrate Vivian’s sense of adventure in coming to a new world, and I later added my name for the second tag to lay claim, so to speak, to the transformed piece of jewelry and to commemorate the two owners. I picked the necklace up last week at Adorn & Flourish (7027 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.367.8548). Kate nailed it. Thank you, Kate!

So I had to try out my new statement necklace….

Vivian with a gray layered, asymmetrical hem dress and peep-toe booties - and my new short haircut.

Vivian with a gray layered, asymmetrical hem dress and peep-toe booties – and my new short haircut.

Windswept hair on a windy day.

Windswept hair on a windy day.

Showing off the back of the dress with Vivian, Kate Peterson Design trio of mantra bracelets (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, fan ring (Eskell, Chicago), and my own vintage sterling silver earrings from the early 90s.

Showing off the back of the dress with Vivian, Kate Peterson Design trio of mantra bracelets (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, fan ring (Eskell, Chicago), and my own vintage sterling silver earrings from the early 90s.

When in Vegas: Get and stay happy, Part 2

Happiness is a choice.
– Shawn Achor, social psychologist and author

Shawn Achor as opening keynote speaker at my Vegas conference this past Sunday.

Shawn Achor as opening keynote speaker at my Vegas conference this past Sunday.

So now that we know we can choose to be happy, per Shawn Achor’s opening keynote at the Vegas conference that I attended earlier this week, the question remains: How do we start to make change in our lives to be happy or happier and track those changes to stay on that path? I have yet to read Achor’s two books, The Happiness Advantage (2010) ) and Before Happiness (2013), but he did a great job presenting the latter book by offering his 5 habits of practicing happiness, which he called the building blocks for changing our genetic and environmental set point for the better.

Three gratitudes
Achor entreats us to write for 21 days straight three things that we are grateful for. People know that gratitude is good for us, but social scientists have conducted studies to show that people can learn how to be optimistic – called “learned optimism” from the book of the same name and a concept developed by Dr. Martin Seligman, American psychologist, educator, and author. His studies have shown that even pessimists can evolve to become low-level and even high-level optimists – no matter your age. Octogenarians have experienced this result, proving that “45 seconds of thinking of three things you’re grateful for each day can trump not only your genes, but eight decades of experience,” Achor said. At dinnertime, our family goes around the table and each member talks about the “rose and the thorn” of his or her day. Not quite three gratitudes, but something along the same lines of recognizing what we are grateful for in our day and in our lives.

Chuhily glass ceiling at the Bellagio Hotel's lobby.

Chuhily glass ceiling at the Bellagio Hotel’s lobby.

The Doubler
Spend two minutes writing about a single meaningful experience in the last 24 hours, including as much detail as possible. Studies have shown that visualization is interpreted in the brain’s cortex as actual experience. Therefore, people who journal about positive experiences, for example, actually double the equal experience. When Achor talked about the “doubler,” I thought about my blogging. One of the reasons I started blogging was to get myself in shape as a writer, but I also found that blogging about striving for a meaningful, creative, full life kept my eyes on the prize. Even when I was grumpy, sad, lazy, or disinterested, I forged ahead, knowing somewhere inside that the writing exercise was good for me. And after I published blog posts when in these moods, I more often than not felt the better for it.

The Fun 15
Achor pointed out that 15 minutes of mindful cardio activity a day is the equivalent of taking an anti-depressant. I get on my wind trainer for 30 minutes a day, Monday through Friday, early in the mornings. I confess that there are many mornings when I would rather be doing something else or want to whittle down my set time. After hearing Achor talk about mindful cardio activity, I have tried to focus on what good I’m getting out of literally spinning my wheels. I do spend time on the bike plotting out my day because it makes me feel like I have a game plan and it makes me feel productive. But it doesn’t take the entire 30 minutes. Now I know to treat half of that time as a form of being more mindful, getting in touch with how my body is working.

Quiet time early in the morning: my room with a view at the Bellagio Hotel.

Quiet time early in the morning: my room with a view at the Bellagio Hotel.

Meditation
Find time to meditate. And if you can’t, here is a simple exercise while at work: For two minutes, take your hands off your keyboard and watch your breath going in and out. Achor noted that studies have shown that this exercise increased people’s accuracy of a task by 10 percent, created a significant rise in their happiness, and reduced the negative levels of stress that they were experiencing. I’ve always wanted to return to yoga, but for now, I can easily carve out two minutes in front of the laptop.

Conscious acts of kindness
Take two minutes a day to write a text or an e-mail praising one person you know. Do it for three days in a row. Studies have shown that, 21 days later, research subjects reported having a robust social network support and strong ties, as a result of having “deeply activated” those people from the communications. “Social support is one of the greatest predictors of happiness,” Achor declared. With so many work and school-related acts of violence in our society, imagine if we had help from experts and internal leadership to deepen our social connection within those institutions. “It trumps everything else you can do,” Achor emphasized.

Another Vegas worthy frock: oxblood vegan leather dress.

Another Vegas worthy frock: oxblood vegan leather dress.

How to keep going: the goal is closer than you think
Sometimes starting out is easy, but continuing is the rub. Achor pointed out that we can speed toward our goals by highlighting the progress we’ve already made.  He was recently asked by an NBA team how to motivate its players for the play-offs. “If you tell the team they’re at the start of the play-offs, that’s exhausting,” Achor noted. “But if you talk about how they’re at the end of the season and highlight their victories of the past couple of years and what got them to this point, they perceive the progress and they perceive being closer to the goal.”

To-do lists are good tools that lead us to our goals, but Achor advises not to start our list at the current status quo because we’ll be overwhelmed by the number of tasks yet to be done. Instead, include what we have already accomplished. By highlighting accomplishments, we create what social psychologists call a “cascade of success” and get closer to our goals. When people exercise in the morning, for example, they feel that they’ve done something successful and it cascades into the next activity. Studies have found that people who exercise in the morning are better at doing their in-box in the middle of the day, according to Achor. This is absolutely true for me. Before I even take a shower and walk my daughter to school by 8:30 AM, I respond to work e-mail, do a core and hand weight exercises, walk Rex or 25 minutes in the neighborhood, and spin on my wind trainer for 30 minutes. With each morning routine I get out of the way, I feel like I have done a lot and feel the rush of accomplishment by the time I sit at my desk to work.

Vintage Kramer rhinestone earrings, Sundance ring, and J. Crew chunky necklace.

Vintage Kramer rhinestone earrings, Sundance ring, and J. Crew chunky necklace.

Achor entreats us to “cancel the noise.” Especially in this technology-driven world that we live in, more and more our brains are getting overwhelmed from processing all the food of information coming at them, making it difficult to process anything new and stopping us from looking for positive changes in our lives. If we decrease the amount of noise, Achor contends, our bodies can relax. Therefore, he entreats us to carve out an hour a week where we don’t look at your mobile devices or other distracting things. “Studies have shown that a five percent decrease in noise actually boosts our ability to see the signal,” he pointed out. “A little foothold helps people believe change is possible.”

To make it easier to do something positive, Achor says, we also need to get rid of barriers to change, which he calls the 20-second rule, to create positive habits in our lives. Achor talked about sleeping in his gym clothes so that first thing in the morning he could go straight to exercising. My strategy is to have my exercise area all prepped so I don’t waste precious morning time setting up and potentially talking myself out of exercising.

Close-up of multiple textures: vegan leather, sparkly clutch, chunky chain and stone necklace, and faux snakeskin chunky pumps.

Close-up of multiple textures: vegan leather, sparkly clutch, chunky chain and stone necklace, and faux snakeskin chunky pumps.

Before we make changes to our happiness, success, or health, our brain first has to get over the barrier of what Achor called the activation energy. “If we can change that activation energy level by 3 to 20 seconds in any direction, I can stop you from doing negative habits or get you to start doing positive habits,” he said. Watching TV – depending upon what you watch, of course – is a well-known time sinkhole. According to Google, the average American watches 5.7 hours of TV a day. Achor used to watch three hours a day, thanks to a low activation energy of plopping on the sofa and hitting the “on” button on the remote control. He added 20 seconds to the activation energy by taking out the remote-control batteries and putting it in various places. It took too much energy to remember where he had put them and then to retrieve the batteries. At the same time, he also put books, his journal, and work on the sofa, and his guitar and its stand in the living room. “I made myself less time efficient,” he explained. By adding 20 seconds to his bad habit, he regained two conscious hours a day or 14 hours by the end of the week. “That’s an entire conscious day I got back,” he exclaimed. Now he only watches TV when it really matters. To create a positive habit, make it 3 to 20 seconds easier to start. “I took the path of least resistance toward the positive habit. My excuses actually went away,” he said. “It created a life-long habit.”

On a journey....

On a journey….

Ultimately, Achor said, “You don’t have to be just your genes and your environment. We can actually choose to have higher levels of happiness based on the choices we make in our lives.” On the other hand, he emphasized, quite emphatically, we don’t want blind happiness – that is, ignorance being blissful and being blind to suffering around us – or irrational optimism, which sugarcoats reality. Achor is enthusiastically advocating for rational optimism. “Happiness is not the belief that everything is great; happiness is the belief that change is possible,” he said. Achor reiterated his definition of happiness, which is one of the themes of Before Happiness: “the joy one feels striving for one’s potential.” It’s the journey.

When in Vegas: Get happy, Part 1

Happiness is a choice.
– Shawn Achor, social psychologist and author

My room with a view at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

My room with a view at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

One of the perks of covering industry conferences for my work is getting to listen to the keynote speakers. In the past nine years, I’ve been fortunate to have a chance to hear Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Freakonomics author and rogue economist Steven Levitt, journalist and New Yorker staff writer Malcolm Gladwell, and Atul Gawande, surgeon and New Yorker medical writer. I was in Las Vegas the past three days for a supply-chain management conference, and I had the serendipitous pleasure of listening to and writing about opening keynote speaker Shawn Achor.

Why serendipitous? Early last week I was feeling a bit down about having to endure the long and drawn-out process of sending out queries and waiting to hear back from literary agents. And even though I had just come off of a week devoted to working on my second novel (but with liberal interruptions from work), I was bemoaning how overwhelmed I felt about the amount of research the second novel requires and my lack of big chunks of time – well, time, period – to read, research, sketch and plan, and start writing. Meanwhile at work, I had to draft conference session summaries ahead of the actual conference. One of my assignments was to summarize Shawn Achor’s opening keynote based on a long bio that I was given. At the time, I had no idea who he was.

Shawn Achor's opening keynote.

Shawn Achor’s opening keynote.

For those who have never heard of him, Shawn Achor is a social psychologist and author of the New York Times best-selling books The Happiness Advantage (2010) and Before Happiness (2013) and host of the PBS special The Happiness Advantage with Shawn Achor. He is one of the world’s leading experts on the connection between happiness and success, and his positive psychology lecture is the most popular class at Harvard University, where he teaches. He founded GoodThinkInc. in 2007 to share his research on happiness, which has earned him numerous accolades, including gracing the cover of Harvard Business Review.

Achor presented a TED talk that garnered four million views and his PBS-aired lecture was seen by millions. He has lectured or researched in more than 50 countries, with his audiences including Chinese CEOs and South African school children. He worked with the U.S. Department of Health to promote happiness and the National MS Society and Genzyme in 2012 on their Everyday Matters campaign to show how happiness is a choice for chronically ill patients. He earned his master’s degree from Harvard Divinity School in Christian and Buddhist ethics, conducts psychology research on happiness and organizational achievement in collaboration with Yale University and the Institute for Applied Positive Research, and teaches in the Advanced Management Program at Wharton Business School. I’ve added him as another multi-talented person to admire, next to John Halamka.

My hotel floor hallway, reminiscent of The Shining....

My hotel floor hallway, reminiscent of The Shining….

Choosing happiness
This is Achor’s second appearance at this conference. Two years ago, he shared his research on the connection between happiness and success, which was the topic of his first book. In his opening keynote this year, Achor discussed the precursors to happiness and success, which he chronicles in Before Happiness, and highlighted what we need to change in our reality in order for us to have long-term, sustainable happiness, success, creativity, and higher levels of performance.

While humans have genetic predispositions, Achor emphasizes that “happiness can be a choice.” According to Achor, we need to get the human brain to change and recharge through activities such as activating our “mirror neurons” that in turn increase our levels of dopamine, which raises our level of happiness and joy. For example, when someone smiles at you, mirror neurons in the brain are activated, causing you to smile. Achor worked with New Orleans hospitals post-Katrina to reverse the view of hospitals as places of sickness and disease. Other industry business models were reviewed, in particular, the five-star hotel experience for customer service – called the 10-5 way – developed by the Ritz-Carlton. When patrons are within 10 feet, staff members offer them a smile. When they are within five feet, staff members say hello.

The Bellagio Gardens, near Michael Mina's restaurant, where me and my team dined on "innovative seafood."

The Bellagio Gardens, near Michael Mina’s restaurant, where my team and I dined on “innovative seafood.”

Within six months of implementing the 10-5 way, a group of hospitals reported a significant rise in the number of unique patient visits, a spike in the likelihood of patients to refer the facility based on the quality of care they received, and high levels of physician engagement. A one-second behavioral change created multiple quantitative benefits, but the intangible and qualitative benefit – happier patients and staff – is arguably the most important one. “We are socialized for reciprocation,” Achor explained. Despite our individuality, human brains are wirelessly connected and through continuous loops of creating positive experiences, humans can experience “neuroplasticity,” which allows us to change our behavior.

On the flip side, being around stress and negativity is comparable to inhaling second-hand smoke, according to Achor. Studies have been conducted, for example, in which a researcher stood among 15 strangers in an airport or train station. The researcher began nervously bouncing in place, tapping his foot and constantly looking at his watch. Within two minutes, between seven to 12 people on average began to unconsciously mimic his behavior. Achor encouraged the audience to try out the experiment at the Vegas airport on our way home, joking that we would be spreading stress and negativity.

The positive, engaged brain
The Harvard Business Journal article, in which Achor was profiled, concluded that “the greatest competitive advantage in the modern economy is a positive, engaged brain.” Gallop found that only 25 percent of our job successes is based on our intelligence and technical skills. Three other elements comprise the remaining 75 percent – your optimism or the belief that your behavior matters; the breadth, depth, and meaning of your social support network and relationships; and lastly, the way you perceive stress. Today, at a time when many industries, including healthcare, are undergoing significant changes and transformations, how do we remain resilient, especially when change is often perceived as a threat, which in turn creates stress?

A strapless H&M dress and chunky heels worthy of Vegas.

A strapless H&M dress and chunky heels worthy of Vegas.

While stress creates havoc mentally, emotionally, and physically, moderate to high levels of stress have also been known to induce the body to release growth hormones that actually rebuild cells, create a robust immune system, deepen our memory, speed up cognitive processes, and deepen our social bonds. The military, Achor pointed out, uses the boot camp to “onboard” its recruits to prepare for combat. The situational stress creates “a shared meaningful narrative” that bonds the recruits. “That’s the message we don’t get amid massive change,” Achor said. Stress can be a “growth-producing opportunity” and the “glue that keeps people and organizations together for decades.”

While, obviously, people respond to stress differently, Achor contends that we can learn how to view stress in a positive way. During the banking crisis, UBS employees taking an online course saw YouTube videos that offered two different paths to handling stress – fight or flee from threats or understand the effects of stress on the human body and leverage that knowledge to treat stress as an enhancement. Six weeks later, employee stress levels remained the same. According to a self-reported survey, however, 23 percent of the employees reported a drop in health-related symptoms usually related to stress and 30 percent of them experienced an increase in their productivity. Stress is inevitable, but negative effects on the human body are not, Achor stressed. (This reminds me of the Buddhist adage, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”) We can view changes that are occurring in the world as challenges and not threats.

Carmela Rose necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, Personal Pizazz earrings (Berkeley, CA), sterling silver cuff (Portland, ME), and my 50th birthday present from David, Tiffany ring (Las Vegas).

Carmela Rose necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, Personal Pizazz earrings (Berkeley, CA), Se Vende Hill Tribe sterling silver cuff (Portland, ME), and one of my 50th birthday presents from David, Tiffany ring (Las Vegas).

Trumping nature and nurture
Many people assume we are hardwired by nature and molded by our early years, and therefore, the average person doesn’t fight their genes, which studies have shown. A researcher who was part of a well-known study of identical twins found that 80 percent of long-term happiness is predicted by one’s genes (he has since recanted that finding, according to Achor). While the researcher was only half-right, Achor contends that he is wholly wrong. One woman who was an identical twin told Achor that while both she and her twin had grown up very negative she was more optimistic than her twin. She had been involved in a terrible car accident as a teenager. She thought she was going to die but didn’t, which instilled in her a new outlook on life. What’s incredible, Achor notes, is that it wasn’t a positive change but post-traumatic growth that caused her to deviate from her genetic set point. “If we can change for the better with trauma, how much so can we change with something positive?” he offered to us.

“People think happiness is complacency, so we stop,” Achor noted. “Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change; happiness is the realization that we actually can.” He defines happiness in terms of positive psychology, based on the ancient Greeks, and informed by Christian and Buddhist ethics, which he studied at Harvard’s Divinity School: “Happiness is the joy that we feel striving toward our potential.” If happiness is just pleasure, it’s short lived and it dies almost immediately, Achor said. If “happiness” doesn’t have a meaning component, it can’t be sustained. “But joy is something you can experience in the midst of the ups and downs of life,” he declared. “It’s on the way toward potential, so it’s growth-producing. It’s not stagnating, which is what complacency actually is.”

Change your mind set, look at the world differently
Achor is on a mission to get people to stop looking at happiness in terms of optimism and pessimism and instead to look at the world differently. Rather than see a glass as half-empty or half-full, for example, be creative in how we view our world and envision a pitcher full of water next to the glass. Expand your world. As you face the changes in your life, positive or negative, expend energy looking for ways to fill up the glass, which Achor calls an act of positive genius.

Silver and onyx accessories for black and cream.

Sterling silver and onyx accessories against black and cream.

Positive genius can be applied to multiple situations and groups of people, which can lead to widespread positive changes in, for example, education and the military. Studies were conducted in which students were given articles to read before having to complete a cognitive task. Half the class read an article about how intelligence is fixed. The other half read an article that stated that intelligence is malleable – people can change their intelligence all the time and can have different intelligence from one year over the previous year. After the students who read the latter article took the test, the studies found that, in aggregate, even the students with higher IQs did better on their cognitive tasks. They had the same IQs and genes going into the experiment, but they experienced a dramatic deviation based on the belief that change is possible.

Another study was conducted with soldiers who had to scale steep hills with heavy backpacks. One group of soldiers was primed to believe that change was possible and they became more positive about the task ahead of them. Once they scaled the hills and were asked to rate their experience, they deemed the hills as being lower and the weight of the backpacks as being lighter than they had anticipated. “What’s amazing is that the optimists were actually realists,” Achor said. “They were pretty accurate in terms of the approximation of the weight and the hills to be.” The other set of soldiers who were primed for a negative experience perceived the hills to be steeper and their backpacks heavier. According to the study, these soldiers’ brains “showed” them pictures of larger hills and heavier backpacks, which caused them to believe that behavior matters less and, as a result, they were more fatigued.

Lastly, Achor presented the findings by Harvard University social psychologist Ellen Langer, who conducted a study in 1979 of 75-year-old men on a week-long retreat. They were “transported” back to the year 1959; the only reading material at the retreat were magazines and newspapers from that year, they wore ID badges with their photos as 55-year-olds, and they could only talk about their lives up to that year. A separate group of 75-year-olds participated in a retreat for the current year of 1979. Langer wanted to prove a revolutionary hypothesis – that the aging process can be reversed if the mindset is changed. She measured all the things we think about that are unchangeable about aging – including strength, posture, and flexibility – at the beginning and conclusion of the retreat for both groups.

Next time I'm in Vegas, I'll pack this splashy dress.

Next time I’m in Vegas, I’ll pack this splashy dress.

In the aggregate, the 1959 group recorded a 10 percent improvement in eyesight and a 50 percent in improvement in memory. Recruited “naïve readers” were asked to examine photos taken before and after the retreat. They rated the 1959 group as looking three years younger in their after-retreat photos. Langer’s research revealed that the aging process is mediated by the way we perceive the world. “If we think about the world in terms of threats, if we think that we can’t change our intelligence, creativity, or the obstacles in front of us, or even the aging process, we start to see those patterns start to bear out,” Achor said.

But what if we approached stressful events as opportunities for growth and we believe that we can change and we can look at the world differently to our advantage? Achor entreats us to do so. Game on.

Stay tuned for Part II of choosing happiness on Friday.