April showers bring May flowers

April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.
– William Shakespeare, from Sonnet XCVIII

We haven’t had a rainstorm in weeks and my son hasn’t had a baseball tournament in a month. Though we need the rain after our winter drought, could the rain gods have picked a worse time to descend upon us? As they say, April showers bring May flowers. My garden of tulips, daffodils, and watsonias are giving way to the greenery of dahlias and other spring flowers. Soon it will be time to put together my weekly bouquets for the winning bidder of my donation to the Portola Middle School auction. So while the earth drinks in the rain, I watch my flowers bloom, welcoming May.

Simple yet elegant: White calla lilies in all their splendor.

Simple yet elegant: White calla lilies in all their splendor. An easy bouquet to put together.

Contrasting the white calla lilies: Burnout black flowers on a Chinese-inspired blouse and Japanese-style kimono.

Contrasting the white calla lilies: Burnout black flowers on a Chinese-inspired blouse and Japanese-style kimono from H&M’s Conscious Collection – a comfortable outfit to throw together for a spring evening.

Adornments: Carmela Rose earrings and two necklaces (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA), Alkemie scarab cuff.

Adornments: Carmela Rose earrings and two necklaces (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA), Alkemie scarab cuff.

Close-up of black flowers and jewels.

Close-up of black flowers and jewels.

Earth Day: honor your mother

You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. – Dame Jane Goodall, British primatologist, ethologist, anthropologist, and UN Messenger of Peace

H&M duster from their Conscious Collection and an antique Edwardian handbag from the Brooklyn Flea Market.

Being green with fashion: H&M duster from their Conscious Collection and an antique Edwardian handbag from the Brooklyn Flea Market.

Our household has always been good about not being wasteful. Well, we preach that way of life to our kids, scolding them when they take long showers or reminding them to compost the scraps of food left on their plates. But I can’t say for certain that they are mindful when we’re not around. One hopes that growing up with this philosophy carries over into their adult lives. I developed this habit because my parents made sure we weren’t wasteful – not because they were environmentalists but because they came from a country in which you didn’t have much so you didn’t waste much. I remember when we visited the Philippines for my second and last trip, when I was an undergraduate in December 1985. Toilet paper was in short supply and you were given one napkin at restaurants, which were tiny, thin squares, and none at all at mealtimes in the home. This made a lasting impression on me. (At our home, we use cloth napkins, and when the kids were babies, we used cloth diapers.)

Adornments: Double-strand bracelet by Anja Hakoshima, Sundance stack of rings, Eskell fan ring (Chicago), Carmela Rose earrings and short necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Kate Peterson necklace (El Cerrito, CA), and Lava 9 sterling silver cicada long necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Adornments: Delicate double-strand bracelet by Anja Hakoshima, Sundance stack of rings, Eskell Art Deco fan ring (Chicago), Carmela Rose earrings and short necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Kate Peterson long necklace with labradorite stones (El Cerrito, CA), and Lava 9 sterling silver cicada long necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Although we reduce, reuse, and recycle as much as we can, I always believe there’s more that we can do. For instance, instead of bringing store-bought bottled water to the ballparks and soccer fields, we bring our BPA-free water bottles. Though it’s convenient to reach for bottled water in airports and stores, especially when I’m lazy or in a rush, I make a conscious decision to forego bottled water. The less plastic, the better.

I joke with Isabella that she will not have to buy any clothes or jewelry because she will inherit everything from me, and until then she can always borrow mostly anything from me. She doesn’t fully realize what this means, but to me, it means not having to buy a lot of “fast fashion” that won’t last long or stay in style. And it will save both of us a lot of money. She’ll have vintage clothing and jewelry at her fingertips, and I’m discovering how green it is to buy vintage or reclaimed vintage pieces, which cuts down on buying clothing that had to be manufactured.

Pleated duster made elegant by lace and metallic pointy pumps.

Pleated duster made elegant by lace and metallic pointy pumps.

I was reading an article last month, though I can’t seem to find it for reference, about how the biggest negative impact on the environment that clothes create is the laundering of them. I was surprised by this fact, as I assumed that the manufacturing process expended a lot of resources and was therefore the most harmful aspect of clothes, as far as the environment was concerned. The author advised readers to forego washing items after one use, especially for dry cleaning. I engage in this practice more so because I’m lazy about laundering and hate expensive dry cleaning, but it’s nice to add that it’s better for the environment, too.

We are lucky to live in an urban/suburban area, near various modes of public transportation, the Bay Area Rapid Transit or BART, casual carpool, and AC transit buses. I work at home, so my carbon footprint is even smaller. We are also lucky to be within walking distance of our elementary, middle, and high schools, so the kids walk to school, with me walking Isabella to school, unless it’s raining or we are running very late. Hence, we don’t care that much about our cars, which are both Toyotas and by society’s standards, ancient ones at that. Our older car is 20 years old. We’ve been receiving letters from some agency, offering us a thousand dollars to get our polluting car off the road. I told the mechanic who was running a smog test on the Corolla a few months ago. He scoffed; the car was fine, passed the smog test with flying colors, and would last for a long time. It was better to keep it going than to have it rust in some junkyard, he told me. Point taken.

Textures: pleats, lace, and ribbed knit.

Textures: delicate rivulets of pleats, lace, and ribbed knit.

We try to find more ways to be better conservationists, but I think the most important thing we can do is to keep inspiring our kids, the next generation, to honor Mother Earth. The kids are old enough now that they don’t buy my threat that wasting energy is melting the ice in the North Pole and therefore shrinking the polar bears’ habitat. It used to work. It’s not hard to show them things like the dirty air in the Central Valley when we visit my hometown, how you can’t see the foothills anymore because of the smog from Los Angeles that has been trapped in the valley and building up for decades. I tell them that the Central Valley region has the highest rate of asthma for children in the state and probably one of the highest in the country. Those facts hit closer to home. They make a bigger impact.

The biggest impact we can make is to spread the word of protecting our world and its resources. It starts in the home, in our neighborhood and community, and on and on. Happy Earth Day! How will you celebrate today?

Antique, reclaimed vintage, and contemporary adornments.

Antique, reclaimed vintage, and contemporary adornments.

Book Passage: BLTs, books, frog music, and antiques

Books are everywhere; and always the same sense of adventure fills us. Second-hand books are wild books, homeless books; they have come together in vast flocks of variegated feather, and have a charm which the domesticated volumes of the library lack. Besides, in this random miscellaneous company we may rub against some complete stranger who will, with luck, turn into the best friend we have in the world.
― Virginia Woolf, English novelist and essayist, and leading modernist literary figure of the 20th century, from Street Haunting

Emma Donoghue graciously allowed me to take a picture of her with Isabella.

Emma Donoghue graciously allowed me to take a picture of her with Isabella.

I haven’t been to Book Passage (51 Tamal Vista Boulevard, Corte Madera, CA 94925, 415.927.0960) in the North Bay in many years; I know, shame on me! But when I saw that Emma Donoghue, Irish-born playwright, literary historian, and novelist, was going to appear there for a reading last Thursday evening ― and I had just read a glowing review of her latest novel, Frog Music, a historical murder mystery based on a real-life murder case set in San Francisco ― I told myself I needed to get back into the swing of attending book readings. And so I did.

When I moved to San Francisco many years ago, one of the benefits was living in a city full of independent bookstores. Alas! So many of them have been shuttered ― A Clean, Well-Lighted Place for Books and Stacy’s. And in the East Bay ― Cody’s, Black Oak Bookstore, and Moe’s. When those bookstores closed, so went away the venues for many of the readings I diligently attended. Then I got so busy with life that I didn’t have time to attend readings and didn’t check the Sunday papers to see who was in town at other bookstores or events.

Book reading outfit: kimono-style jacket, floaty blouse, denim leggings, and platform sandals, with vintage carpet bag purse (Secondi, Washington, DC).

Book reading outfit: kimono-style jacket, floaty blouse, denim leggings, and platform sandals, with vintage carpet bag purse (Secondi consignment shop, Washington, DC).

But that all changed since last fall when my friend Jane and I attended a number of book readings through the Berkeley Arts & Letters program. This time, Isabella accompanied me to Book Passage, and it became our Mom/daughter evening. The first and last time Isabella attended a reading with me was when Louise Erdrich was in town and Isabella was an infant, asleep in my Baby Bjorn. Louise had just had a baby as well, and we chatted very briefly about motherhood as she signed her books for me.

First up for mom and daughter was sharing a BLT for dinner at the Book Passage café. Then we meandered through the aisles of the store, picking up books and flipping through the pages. We had good seats, sitting close up in what turned out to be a full house, which was heartening for all to see. Emma explained that she likes to dramatize while reading instead of reciting lines in a monotone voice, as most authors do. So she made for an entertaining reading, swapping out different voices for the characters. She has written an impressive 16 books, but she is well-known for Room, a novel published in 2010 and short-listed for the Man Booker Prize about a five-year-old boy named Jack, who lives in a small room with his Ma and has never been outside that room. To be honest, I’d never heard of that particular novel, but I picked it up in addition to Frog Music, upon the advice of her adoring fan base.

Sundance stack of rings, Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA), Alkemie reclaimed metal scarab cuff, Carmela Rose onyx necklace, bee necklace (Brooklyn Flea Market), and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

Sundance stack of rings, Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA), Alkemie reclaimed metal scarab cuff, Carmela Rose onyx necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Bonbon Oiseau bee necklace made from antique 1940s American brass key fob and charms (Brooklyn Flea Market), and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

After the reading and book signing, Isabella and I headed over to the other section of Book Passage, which has a separate entrance and houses the children’s section. At first, I thought we had walked into another store because there were other items other than books being sold. Particularly display cases full of jewelry. After finding The Seven Basic Plots by Christopher Booker ― at her reading for her nonfiction book, Knocking on Heaven’s Door, Katy Butler talked about the existence of seven basic plots in storytelling and how that was immensely helpful for her as she structured her story ― on the bookshelves, I checked out the jewelry.

Silk Road series necklace made of Chinese quilin decoration and antique Japanese obi by Gretchen Schields.

Silk Road series necklace made of Chinese quilin decoration and antique Japanese obi by Gretchen Schields.

I found several beautiful necklaces made by Gretchen Schields, who happens to be the book cover illustrator for Amy Tan’s earlier novels. Among her many talents is handmaking jewelry and these particular necklaces are from a series called Silk Road. Schields uses antique Japanese obi, silks, Chinese embroideries, and European brocades for the cords and collars, and collectibles and beads for adornment. Who could resist wearable art that is made of antique material with such wonderful history? Not I. Isabella happily found Babymouse graphic novels to read. After a memorable evening  together, we came home with our treasures. I realized how much I had missed going to book readings and hearing writers read their works and having their voices resonate in my head, as well as be in the company of literary kin. More great books to read. Now if I can just find the time!

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up. H&M kimono from their Conscious Collection.

My literary vacay

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
– Henry David Thoreau, American author, poet, philosopher, naturalist, and leading transcendentalist

My library chair is calling me!

My library chair is calling me!

Not surprisingly, I have a stockpile of vacation and discretionary days, plus two floating holidays. Unfortunately, you can only carry over a certain amount of vacation and discretionary hours into the next fiscal year, which for my company is July 1st. When I checked my hours a few months ago, I realized I had to take time off. But when? There’s never a good time to take off because something is always due or meetings are scheduled either on the fly or weeks in advance. I understood that any time I would take off that wasn’t labeled “family vacation” was going to be writing time for me. I was not prepared to take a week off now, however, as such a chunk of time required activity that had to be productive, as far as I was concerned. I am not ready to sit down and write the second novel. But I am ready to sit down and read, conduct research, sketch characters, and plot storylines – all valuable, of course, and a precursor to actually writing.

The one thing I did know was that I did not want to take the same week off as my kids’ spring break. If I took off the same week they were out, I knew it would not be the “me” vacation that I so desperately wanted and needed. My kids were off last week. It was nice downtime for them. I am off this week, though I still have to push through some revisions, attend a meeting, write a summary, and respond to necessary e-mails. I scheduled an appointment with my acupuncturist to start the week off to be in a good place physically. In the weeks leading up to this week, I tried to clear off my home desk of tasks I needed to complete in order to have a clean work space and thus a cleared mental state of mind.

And thus yesterday so began my literary vacay. Note that I didn’t call it a stacay. Even though I’m going to be parked in my library chair with my tall stack of books on the Filipino-American War, pen and notepad, The Seven Basic Plots by Christopher Booker, cup of tea (now gone cold), and most important box of See’s chocolates for sustenance, I consider this a vacation where I am not really at home. These books will be taking me to another country, another era. I scarcely will feel or hear the crinkly leather seat I’ll be inhabiting.

My trusty companion, Rex, will show me how to relax.

My trusty companion, Rex, will show me how to relax.

I will admit that once I was ensconced in my library chair yesterday, with a fortress of books around me, I started to panic. How would I ever get through all these books, remember all the historical details? How much time would I need? How long would it be before I get to the point of writing, and then how long will the writing process be? Will it once again be a 17-year odyssey as it was for A Village in the Fields? When you’re 52 and you have a full-time job and two kids, these are natural questions to ask. Stopping and smelling the roses is an iffy optional activity. I am often aware of seconds, minutes, hours, and making all of those measurements of time count.

I allowed myself to flounder a bit while I figured out what I could do. I thought back to last year and the year before – how did I restart and finish the first novel? Somehow, those years are smashed together when I look back. Last year, I finished the novel, blogged three times a week, and had an insane work schedule, along with helping with my kids’ schooling and attending their extracurricular activities, at the expense of sleep. I had more energy and was younger, of course, in those 15 previous years. Am I smarter as a writer after having gone through this writing exercise? Yes. So that’s what I told myself to hang my hat on. I did it before; I’ll do it again. Better and smarter. Don’t think about time. Just keep going. It’s what makes me happy, so in true Zen-like fashion, I told myself to enjoy the doing.

I hear my library chair calling me. It’s gotten cold again and I must warm the old leather. And read. Take notes. Most importantly, dream.

Required reading list.

Required reading list.

Sleep experiment: in bed by 10PM

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.
– Mahatma Gandhi

Pajama-style outfits are still trending. Regal navy with cream piping is a more subdued and classical version.

Pajama-style outfits are still trending. Regal navy with cream piping is a more subdued and classical version.

I’ve been writing about healthcare information technology since 2003, and in that time I’ve had the honor of learning and writing about (and meeting thrice fleetingly) an industry icon who to me is today’s version of the Renaissance Man. John Halamka, MD, has more titles than a dozen people put together. He’s chief information officer at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, chairman of the New England Healthcare Exchange Network, co-chair of the HIT (Healthcare Information Technology) Standards Committee, professor at Harvard Medical School, practicing emergency physician, author, blogger (Life as a Healthcare CIO), board member of a nonprofit established by the Veterans Affairs Department, mushroom and poisonous plant expert to the Regional Center for Poison Control and Prevention, and farmer, who recently finished building a bridge and pier on his farm.

I have to catch my breath now. I have seen Dr. Halamka in action at conferences. He’s texting and reading e-mails while waiting his turn to speak at panel presentations, and completely smashing what one physician told me years ago that men’s brains are not built to be able to multi-task like women’s brains apparently are. When he breezed into our news room at our annual conference some years back, and everyone was in awe of everything that he does in so little time, he announced that he gets by on average on four hours of sleep. Ah-hah! I told myself. That’s his secret. He must possess that rare genetic mutation that was discovered in 2009. Sleep researchers found two DNA samples from two sleep study participants that had abnormal copies of the DEC2 gene, which affects circadian rhythms. These two women sleep study participants got by on six hours of sleep, going to be between 10PM and 10:30PM and getting up refreshed around 4AM to 4:30AM, ready to start their day.

Comfortable, easy styling with glittery jewels, clutch, and metallic pumps.

Comfortable, easy styling with glittery jewels, clutch, and metallic pumps.

For the longest time, I have been getting by on less than the suggested eight hours of sleep. Sleep deprivation was my middle name among my friends. It was the only way I could do everything I needed to do – get my work done for my day job, raise kids, housekeeping, get to my novel, do the volunteering for my kids’ schools, and more recently blog. I routinely went to bed around two and got up at six. During the busy season at work, I would routinely pull all-nighters and sometimes 48-hour work days and not show any signs of wear and tear the following day. And since that rare genetic mutation was discovered, I thought I, too, was in possession of that abnormal gene.

And then I got older and in the last two years I started feeling fatigued all the time. I would wake up exhausted. I thought to myself that it must be I was carrying my stress into my sleep. If only my four to six hours of sleep were restful and uninterrupted, I would be fine. I thought older people needed less sleep, so what was my problem? I thought I must be “going through the changes” and once that was over I would be fine. But I didn’t have years to endure to get back to my normal pattern. In addition to not getting restful sleep, it must be the food I’m eating, I deduced. My body must be changing and reacting to foods I have been eating for years. A couple of Christmases ago, I thumbed through a book that my brother-in-law had gotten for David’s parents called Wheat Belly. That’s it! I told myself. Gluten must be the source of my fatigue! I need to start doing food elimination to discover the culprit, if it’s not indeed gluten.

Dramatic Ben-Amun drop earrings (Personal Pizazz, Berkeley, CA) and my mom's ring.

Dramatic Ben-Amun drop earrings (Personal Pizazz, Berkeley, CA) and my mom’s ring.

A few months ago, I was telling my friend and mom’s group member, Mimi, about my fatigue and tracing it to food, and she didn’t bat an eyelash as she told me in her usual frank tone of voice, “How about getting enough sleep?” I tried to brush her off. I’m used to getting by on less sleep than most people. But I’m realizing it’s not true. And if a study published in December 2013 by Duke University researchers is any indication, I need to change my dangerous ways. The study revealed that women need more sleep than men and that the amount of sleep is more closely tied to health issues for women than it is for men. I know that sleep deprivation, especially long-term, damages the brain to the point that it resembles a football player’s brain that has suffered several concussions. Heart disease, blood clots, stroke, depression – stop! I didn’t want to hear any more of what I was doing to my body! I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

In the last few weeks, especially, I have been feeling exhausted upon waking up every morning – not just every other morning, as has been the case for several months. I’d been told that women should go to bed around 10PM because the two hours between 10PM and midnight were critical for women to get sleep. But, I sputtered upon hearing that fact, those two hours are when I’m full-bore doing multiple things – blogging, writing, folding laundry, catching up. But in recent weeks I have noticed how it is taking me twice as long to do anything. Those Duke University researchers discussed how women, who are natural multi-taskers, need their brains, particularly the cortex, which is the seat of memory, language, thought, and so on, to go into recovery mode so they could function properly the next day. What good was I if I had to take twice as long to work on my novel or blog? Pushing through was simply not going to work anymore.

Simple, easy, and comfortable - yet elegant.

Simple, easy, and comfortable – yet elegant.

So I began my sleep experiment earlier this week. Get to bed by 10PM and see what happens. I have to admit that I have not felt exhausted every morning. I didn’t manage to be in bed by 10PM two nights this week. I got to bed at 10:30PM one night and 11PM another night. The onset of fatigue on some of those days didn’t hit until midday. I was greatly encouraged by these early results. Some nights my body was ready to drop off to sleep that early. Other nights I tossed around, understanding that my body was not used to going to bed so early.

But I’m more alert and more productive during the day. I’m heartened by that immediate change. I tell myself that I’ll be able to get more done when rested than I would if I stick to my old ways. I have always prided myself on being healthful. Eat healthfully. Check. Exercise regularly. Check. I have never been good about sleep; sometimes, wrongly, wearing sleep deprivation like a badge of honor. I’ve thrown the badge away. While I wish I could be my version of Dr. Halamka, I realize I need to take care of my health first. The rest will come later.

Close-up: Only a few sparkling touches needed to complete this outfit.

Close-up: Only a few sparkling touches needed to complete this outfit.

April is National Poetry Month: honoring Czeslaw Milosz

The act of writing a poem is an act of faith.
– Czeslaw Milosz, Polish poet and Nobel Prize winner

A nostalgia feel to this outfit.

A nostalgic 1950s feel to this outfit.

I had the honor of hearing Czeslaw Milosz read his poetry while he was still teaching in Berkeley many years ago. I didn’t know that much about him at the time, but I knew he was an important poet of our time, as he had already won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1980. Milosz’s family fled from the political upheaval plaguing their homeland of Lithuania when he was young. As an adult, he fled the Soviet takeover of Poland with the installation of the Communist regime after World War II and settled in the United States.

As you can imagine, Milosz lived a full life and wrote about the affirmation of human life and the survival of humanity in a world devastated by war and political ideologies. But his poetry is accessible and heartfelt. In honor of National Poetry Month, I celebrate Czeslaw Milosz’s poetry. Consider this an opening of a window for those who aren’t familiar with his poetry to reach out and read more of his work. Here is his timely poem, “Late Ripeness”:

Not soon, as late as the approach of my ninetieth year,
I felt a door opening in me and I entered
the clarity of early morning.

One after another my former lives were departing,
like ships, together with their sorrow.

And the countries, cities, gardens, the bays of seas
assigned to my brush came closer,
ready now to be described better than they were before.

I was not separated from people,
grief and pity joined us.
We forget—I kept saying—that we are all children of the King.

For where we come from there is no division
into Yes and No, into is, was, and will be.

We were miserable, we used no more than a hundredth part
of the gift we received for our long journey.

Moments from yesterday and from centuries ago—
a sword blow, the painting of eyelashes before a mirror
of polished metal, a lethal musket shot, a caravel
staving its hull against a reef—they dwell in us,
waiting for a fulfillment.

I knew, always, that I would be a worker in the vineyard,
as are all men and women living at the same time,
whether they are aware of it or not.

from Collected Poems, 1931-1987. Copyright © 1988 by Czeslaw Milosz Royalties, Inc.

Icy jewelry pop against a black sweater: Earrings and matching necklace from Personal Pizazz (Berkeley, CA), vintage Eisenberg rhinestone bracelet (L'Armoire, Albany, CA), and my mother's wedding ring and band on my pinkie finger and ring that she gave me from her family in 1972.

Icy jewelry pop against a black sweater: Earrings and matching necklace from Personal Pizazz (Berkeley, CA), vintage Eisenberg rhinestone bracelet (L’Armoire, Albany, CA), and my mother’s wedding ring and band on my pinkie finger and ring that she gave me from her family in 1972.

Silver metallic pumps and textured clutch finish off the black sweater and full skirt.

Silver metallic pumps and textured clutch finish off the outfit of black sweater and full skirt with an ethereal print.

Close-up of vintage and contemporary icy jewelry.

Close-up of vintage and contemporary icy jewelry.