My lola’s locket

My lola's locket and the ring my grandparents gave to my mother.

My lola’s locket and the ring my grandparents gave to my mother.

What’s past is prologue.
 – Shakespeare, The Tempest

A number of years ago – in truth, I don’t remember how long ago it was – my mother wanted to inventory her jewelry. I didn’t know why she decided to do so at that point in time – perhaps a relative had passed away or she sensed her mortality – but I willingly obliged when she asked me to write down the descriptions of the pieces that her parents had given to her when she was a young woman in the Philippines. She retrieved a round cardboard box from beneath her bed and showed me sets of matching earrings and rings. I couldn’t recall what the locket looked like that evening, but I always remembered the story attached to it.

Six months after my mother passed away, when we put her ashes to rest in June 2012 – the month of her birthday – my sisters and I spent a late night going through her list of jewelry and matching the descriptions to each piece. Before we took turns selecting the pieces that we wanted to keep, I asked my sisters if I could have the locket. It had originally belonged to my grandmother’s friend’s mother. My grandmother – my lola, in Tagalog – became the owner of the locket in a barter during the Japanese occupation of the Philippines in World War II. I was more intrigued by the story than the locket itself, though the Art Deco style has grown on me. Inside, were two small photographs of my lola and lolo, which were intact when the locket was given to me.

Pictures of my lola and lolo from my lola's locket, with the ring they gave to my mother.

Pictures of my lola and lolo from my lola’s locket, with the ring they gave to my mother.

I never really got to know my lola. She was only in my life three times: when my mother took my two sisters and me to the Philippines for the entire summer of 1972; when I was a junior in high school and my mother petitioned my lola and lolo to join us in the U.S., which ended tragically when my homesick lolo died enroute to San Francisco International Airport on his journey home; and when as a college graduation present to myself, I went back to the Philippines in December 1984 with my mother and oldest sister. My lola died not long after our visit.

Capturing my lola by her open front door, Baguio City, Philippines, December 1984.

Capturing my lola by her open front door, Baguio City, Philippines, December 1984.

I have few pictures of my lola. The last time I was in the Philippines, I tried in vain to take a candid photograph of her, but she would always catch me and strike a rigid pose. One morning, I snuck up on her, as she enjoyed her pastime of sitting on a wooden bench by the open front door and watching the morning unfold. The light was shining just right on her. It is my favorite photograph of her and hangs in my office.

Now that I have her locket, I’m beginning to wear it more. It does no good to be hidden, along with the rest of the vintage jewelry of my mother’s, in the black-and-white cardboard box with “Brownies, Brownies” written in cursive across the lid and in smaller print beneath it “and other sweet surprises.” Taking a cue from friends of ours, who inspire us to use the good crystal stemware and dishes for every day or casual dining, I wear her locket whenever I can and in so doing honor her memory.

Going neutral with mint brocade and brown maxi skirt.

Going neutral with mint brocade and brown maxi skirt.

The satellite accessories around the centerpiece locket.

The satellite accessories around the centerpiece locket.

 

Mixing Art Deco, 1950s brocade, and a splash of swishy navy.

Mixing Art Deco, 1950s brocade, and a splash of swishy navy.

 

Welcome to The Dress at 50

A new dress doesn’t get you anywhere;
It’s the life you’re living in the dress,
And the sort of life you had lived before,
And what you will do it in later.
– Diana Vreeland, fashion columnist and editor

When I turned 49 in February 2011, my family and I had recently lost our beloved 12-year-old dog Bailey and I began to think about and fear turning 50. I asked myself what it was about reaching this milestone birthday that made me apprehensive. The answer was simple: I had not accomplished what I had imagined for myself when I was in my idealistic 20s. In my fifth decade, I was sure that I would be on my fifth successful novel and my kids would be high school age. I had mapped out my life when I was a senior in high school – go to college, join the Peace Corps, go to a creative writing program and then the usual get a job, get married and have children.

Life has a way of twisting and turning, especially for people who have their lives mapped out quite early. A marriage, a divorce, another marriage, two children, two dogs and a handful of jobs later, I found myself in 2011 wanting to live fully and creatively. The novel that I had started in 1997 – which went through several major revisions, several hundreds of pages, kind and careful eyes of good friends – languished in 2006 when many literary agents said it was too long and not marketable. Creatively speaking, I sat down by the roadside and never got up. But I did not sleepwalk through life. I threw myself into raising my two children, volunteered at their schools – started an enrichment program and helped to raise funds, among other duties – and honed my editing and writing skills in the healthcare information technology industry.

Something was missing, and though I knew it, I needed to wait until I was ready to get up from the roadside. When 50 crept closer, I felt it was time. In 2011 I began to work on the novel again and thought of a lifestyle blog that celebrated creativity in every facet of my life. There were roadblocks along the way, but I slowly made progress. And then a few months before I turned 50, my 85-year-old mother was stricken with pneumonia and on New Year’s Eve we made the painful decision to take her off the ventilator.

I had always imagined handing my first published novel to my father, who appreciated my writing ability and was proud of my college degrees because his education in the Philippines stopped in the second grade, but he passed away in 1995. I began my novel in 1997 as an homage to his and his cousins’ immigrant lives in America. I had hoped to be able to hand this novel in published form to my mother. Instead, her passing lit a fire in me to finally finish my novel and to get that blog up.

The Dress at 50 seeks to embrace Diana Vreeland’s quote. Live fully and creatively. Make the world a better place. Feel good about yourself. Celebrate creation. It’s everywhere – in the way you choose to dress, make your house your home, spend time with your family and friends. It’s how you live your life.

So, here is my interpretation of living the creative life at 50. Every day I hope to share what inspires me.

Monochromatic dressing incorporating different textures and celebrating the color of winter

Wintery adornments, featuring earrings by Carmela Rose and Sundance rings and necklace

Blending different textures and materials in a neutral palette