Category Archives: History

Honoring and understanding your history

StoryCorps: Everyone has a story that needs to be told – and recorded

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I think the best stories always end up being about the people rather than the event, which is to say character-driven.
– Stephen King, American author, from On Writing

When my family and I went to the Contemporary Jewish Museum (CJM) (736 Mission Street, 94103, 415.655.7800) in San Francisco for the first time in January, I discovered that it housed a StoryCorps recording studio. I’ve listened to a number of StoryCorps stories on National Public Radio (NPR) through the years, though not as much as I would have liked. Right outside the boxy, industrial hut of a studio, a grouping of ottoman-style chairs invited people to sit and watch animations on a flat-screen TV. The loop of recorded stories included one of the more famous stories – about the couple, Danny and Annie Perasa from Brooklyn and their remarkable love for one another that lasted decades, right up to his passing from cancer. As I quietly sniffled and wiped tears from my cheeks, an older man walked by and commented, “It gets people all the time.” And people’s lives are enriched by such stories.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

After we left CJM, I vowed to talk to my sisters and see if they would be interested in recording memories of our parents as a way of honoring them and preserving our family history. My middle sister declined, which came as no surprise to me – she is a private person. My oldest sister Heidi was excited to participate. Now it was a matter of logistics, as she lived in San Antonio. When she booked her flight for the Christmas holidays months ago, I booked our appointment for StoryCorps.

About StoryCorps
StoryCorps was founded in 2003 by radio producer Dave Isay, with the idea that “everyone has an important story to tell.” One of the largest oral history projects of its kind, StoryCorps, to date, has recorded more than 51,585 interviews. More than 90,440 people have shared their stories. Nearly 35,000 hours of audio have been recorded since 2003. Storytellers are given a free CD of the recording to share as widely as they wish. The recording is then sent to the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress for posterity. Approximately 1 in 200 recordings are edited down to a few minutes and broadcast to millions on the Morning Edition of NPR. Currently, there are three storybooths – Atlanta, Chicago (we saw the signs when we were there this past June), and San Francisco. A mobile recording studio also travels across the country capturing people’s stories, reaching more than 1,700 cities and towns to date.

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

StoryCorps has grown to offer special programs and initiatives. Since 2005, StoryCorps and the National September 11 Memorial & Museum have partnered with the goal of recording at least one story to honor each life that was lost in the September 11, 2001, and February 26, 1993, attacks through its September 11th initiative. StoryCorpsU is an educational, year-long, youth development program for students at high-needs high schools, dedicated to developing students’ identity and social intelligence through the use of StoryCorps broadcasts and animated shorts.

The Military Voices Initiative honors our veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan by recording and sharing their stories. The 18-month National Teachers Initiative honored the stories of public school teachers across the country. Latinos’ stories are preserved, thanks to the Historias Initiative, and The Griot Initiative preserves the rich stories of African-Americans. People with serious illnesses and their families have an opportunity to share their stories through the StoryCorps Legacy. Organizations have worked with StoryCorps on the Memory Loss Initiative, which seeks to preserve the stories of people who have a range of memory loss. And finally, The Alaska Initiative was a six-month program in 2008 and into 2009 that recorded the diverse lives of people living in Alaska.

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Preparing for our storytelling
I had notions of spending a lot of time thinking about what we would say, how we would say it, and how to organize and put our memories in a neat narrative. But, as one friend once told me years ago, “life happens.” Work, school and its extracurricular activities, kid sports, blogging, novel, and the dreary demands of housekeeping sucked up my life as it if were air.

And then suddenly it was a few weeks before Heidi was to fly into the Bay Area. We traded e-mails, disagreed on what specific memories to share. Heidi went onsite and pulled up lists of questions that are meant to draw out one’s stories. We needed to read how this would all play out. You are booked for an hour in the recording booth. After filling out a form, you are introduced to a guide who preps you and monitors the recording. Geraldine was our wonderful guide who put us at ease, as we were quite nervous going into the session and especially once we sat down at this small table and stared at one another – with two sets of microphones intruding. At some point during the recording, I thought to myself, as Geraldine took notes for key searchable words, what a wonderful experience this was for her and all the other guides – to hear amazing stories (that’s the writer in me!) and to come away inspired and richer with every experience shared.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

What we talked about when we talked about our parents
The 40 minutes we were allotted for our free-flowing dialogue went by quickly. There were certain things we wanted to cover. What our strongest memories were of our mom and dad. Dad and his garden. Mom and her steadfast desire to ensure that we lived and prospered under the American Dream through her hard work of picking grapes during the summers and packing oranges in the wintertime. We talked about learning of Dad’s post-traumatic stress syndrome after he had passed away, when our uncle said that he was a happy-go-lucky guy until WWII. Heidi had revealed, for the first time to me, that he had once told her he had seen and done things he didn’t want to talk about again. When our uncle told us about his condition, it explained so much about his eccentric behavior all our lives. We talked about losing Dad on Christmas night in 1995 and the tense Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in 2011 when Mom was in the ICU for two weeks and then the acute-care facility for five weeks.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Our voices wavered, we cried. Yes, we laughed, too. And yes, it became a part of us. We remembered things differently. We talked as if we were 10 and 13 – siblings acting like siblings even at 51 and 54, which is just a fact of nature and family. And then our time was up! Geraldine took our picture and more information. We made donations, had our picture taken with Geraldine, were given a book By Dave Isay of a collection of recorded stories. And then we said goodbye to StoryCorps’ San Francisco home of the last five years.

Your turn
Heidi noticed that the information board behind the counter announced that the StoryCorps recording studio would be closing December 13th, the very next day. We realized just how lucky we were to have made the appointment for that particular day, the evening after Heidi had arrived in town. We were told that StoryCorps would be making an announcement soon to let everyone know where the new location would be and that its new home would remain in San Francisco. That was a relief to hear! So I am letting you all know, my local friends and acquaintances, to book an appointment once the recording studio is set up. We are lucky to have a permanent studio in the Bay Area. Take advantage of its existence, its proximity. For far-flung family, friends, and acquaintances, if you are not near the other recording booths, find out where the mobile booth is headed.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

We all have stories to tell. We have memories and people – family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers – to remember and honor, to make alive again through our words, through our voices. Storytelling is one of the things that I believe makes us human. We have such a rich oral history already, but to have our stories shared with each other at that moment in time, in that tiny booth with microphones and stacks of equipment seen out the corner of our eyes, and for many others to hear later and forever, that is an opportunity and a gift. Come together with family members or friends and record your story. I truly believe everyone should record his or her story for us all to hear. For when we steal away from our busy lives and quietly listen to these stories, our humanity grows evermore. And we find that our community expands to the ends of the earth.

“Tell your story, pass it on.”

Chicago: Appreciating the Chicago History Museum

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Even amidst the somber uncleanliness of Chicago one sees the light of a new epoch, the coming of new conceptions, of foresight, of large collective plans and discipline to achieve them, the fresh green leaves, among all the festering manure, of the giant growths of a more orderly and more beautiful age.
– H.G. Wells, English writer, from The Future in America: A Search after Realities, 1906, Chapter IV, “Growth Invincible: The Tail of Chicago”

Somehow we missed it on our family vacation this past June. Luckily, I found it in December. I’m talking about The Chicago History Museum (1601 North Clark Street, 60614, 312.642.4600), which is located at the south end of Lincoln Park. You know this jam-packed, two-story museum has to be good because the city has such a rich history. I was not disappointed. The special exhibits, however, provided an additional and unexpected dimension.

The Chicago History Museum on a blustery, cold December day.

The Chicago History Museum on a blustery and cold but sunny December day.

Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair
Eunice Johnson was the wife of John H. Johnson and an executive of the Johnson Publishing Company, but she was best known as the founder and director of Ebony Fashion Fair, which began as a hospital fundraiser in New Orleans in 1958 and soon became a popular traveling fashion show that spanned half a century in 200 cities in the U.S., Canada, and the Caribbean, and raised more than $50 million for charity. The exhibit featured more than 60 spectacular outfits, of which unfortunately no cameras were allowed to take photos. I didn’t even try to sneak a few, though I was sorely tempted.

In addition to the fashions by Oscar de la Renta, Christian Dior, and Yves Saint Laurent, fashions by emerging African-American designers were selected by Mrs. Johnson, who, with her husband, founded The Negro Digest, which was styled after Reader’s Digest, in 1942. The success led to the establishment of Ebony, which was styled after the magazine Look, and Jet. Fascinating filmed interviews revealed what a groundbreaker Mrs. Johnson was. She pushed her way into the high fashion world when the industry looked upon African-Americans as a segment of the population that neither had the money nor were interested in fashion. According to one interview, they didn’t know what to make of her or what to do with her, which can also mean a certain freedom in blazing one’s trail. The success of her fashion fair proved the industry wrong, but she also opened doors for African-American models, who were never used before until her shows, and African-American fashion designers. Mrs. Johnson was inspiring, indeed. Just as important, she was courageous and visionary. The exhibit ends January 5th.

The American Heroes exhibit.

The American Heroes exhibit.

American Heroes: World War II Nisei Soldiers and the Congressional Gold Medal
I thought it was interesting that the museum was a stopping place for the national tour exhibit: American Heroes: World War II Nisei Soldiers and the Congressional God Medal, which actually closed Sunday, December 8. In 2011, Congress finally recognized the bravery and dedication of Nisei servicemen from the 100th Infantry Battalion, the 442nd Regimental Combat Team, and the Military Intelligence Service. Many young men, who were taken from their homes and communities and interned in inhospitable camps, joined the military to show their allegiance. Here’s the Chicago connection: Once many of these families were released, they relocated to the Windy City to escape the racism that was still rampant in their hometowns on the West Coast. It’s a small but powerful exhibit. Hopefully you can find it in your city as the exhibit continues its travels.

Chicago was famous for its stock yards in the 1800s.

Chicago was famous for its stock yards in the 1800s.

Chicago: Crossroads of America
A mini museum that could rightfully call itself the Chicago History Museum all by itself, this exhibition takes you from the beginning when the region was home to otters and trappers and Native Americans roamed the frontier to its myriad transformations. Chicago was infamous for having the country’s largest stock yard, smells and all. Everybody knows about Old Mother Hubbard, whose cow did not kick a lantern in the shed on October 10, 1871, in what was to be known as the Great Chicago Fire. The Haymarket Massacre occurred on May 4, 1886, when laborers who were advocating for an eight-hour workday clashed with police and a bomb was thrown into the crowd, resulting in deaths and injuries. You’ll find the usual suspects as historical subjects: Gangs, strife at the 1968 Democratic National Convention, Jane Addams and her Hull House, the founding of several famous retail companies such as Marshall Field and Crate and Barrel and Sears, famous inventors such as the German immigrant who built the first Schwinn bicycle, and the citywide parties – World’s Columbian Exposition, which debuted in 1893, and the Chicago World’s Fair in 1933.

Chicago's century of progress.

Chicago’s century of progress.

Siam: The Queen and the White City
In 1893, The World’s Columbian Exposition brought Queen Savang Vadana to Chicago. The queen contributed many beautiful artifacts for Siam’s exhibition, including her own intricate handiwork in a photo album that was presented to the chair of the Board of Lady Managers. This small exhibit provided a glimpse into the art and culture of Thailand right before the 20th century. Unfortunately no photos were allowed to be taken here.

Facing Freedom exhibit.

Facing Freedom exhibit.

Facing Freedom
One of my favorite exhibits was called Facing Freedom, which examines eight conflicts over freedom from the 1850s to the 1970s. Most notably to me was the conflict of the farm workers in California, specifically in Delano! A pleasant surprise and treat for me! I really liked this exhibit because it put a laser focus on the different threats to our freedom, whether it be women’s right to vote or Native Americans’ rights, and took a deep dive into each conflict, such as the Pullman Strike of 1894 involving the railroad labor force. A fascinating and educational exhibit!

All that jazz and blues.

All that jazz and blues.

Other stuff
There are other galleries and wings with great permanent exhibits, including Vivian Maier’s Chicago, an extensive photography collection by a nanny whose career spanned 40 years but who spent her after hours taking myriad photographs of her city. A talented street photographer, Maier shot portraits that capture perfectly a nostalgic feel for a bygone generation. Her photographs were not discovered until after her death in 2009 at the age of 83. There were two permanent exhibits on Abraham Lincoln and a traveling exhibit of a rare printed copy of the Emancipation Proclamation signed by Lincoln in 1863.

It’s such a treat to find gems like the Chicago History Museum and learn a lot about what shaped and continues to shape such a wonderful city. The next time you are in town, check out this museum. You’ll come away with stories to share at your next dinner party.

Climb aboard the first-ever 'L' car.

Climb aboard the first-ever ‘L’ car.

Chicago in winter: Return to Wicker Park

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I must confess a shameful secret: I love Chicago best in the cold.
– Erik Larson, American author, from The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America

My room with a view during the day, Fairmont Chicago.

My room with a view during the day, Fairmont Chicago.

I had a quick business trip to Chicago this week and luckily the weather cooperated in that it was cold – appropriately so, which made for a festive holiday season – but not frigid and the fog and bit of rain did not create any delays either entering or departing the Windy City. Actually on Wednesday it was in the upper 50s and I was too warm in my toasty coat. But on Thursday it was 34 degrees and windy. I would not have wanted it any other way.

Night view from the 12th floor.

Night view from the 12th floor.

After my harried but delightful and fruitful foray into Chicago’s vintage shop cluster in Wicker Park, I vowed that upon my return I would seek other shops. I didn’t have time to do much research, however, and I enjoyed my time in the hipster neighborhood so much that I didn’t mind going back. It was not unlike returning to visit a friend whose friendship was forged at the first meeting.

Colorful eye candy at Vintage Underground, Wicker Park.

Colorful eye candy at Vintage Underground, Wicker Park.

Dazzling display case after display case....

Dazzling display case after display case….

Vintage Underground: pure poetry, literally
I love poring over the display cases literally dripping with vintage costume and designer-signed jewelry at Vintage Underground (1834 W. North Avenue, Chicago, 60622, 773.252.4559). Upon first blush, one can be overwhelmed by the inventory, but the shop is well organized and most of the pieces are beautiful and of nice quality. Carlos, the owner, was there and after I explained to one of the sales associates that I had talked to him in June, she pulled him away from a business discussion to reintroduce him to me. He remembered me, and I told him that while my blog following is modest, the blog post that was inspired by talking with him back in June has been the most consistently viewed post. We talked about the quote from Cuban national hero and poet Jose Martí that he had shared with me in June. And then Carlos recited in Spanish a beautiful poem by Martí. It was great to see him and his staff, who were just as warm this time around as they were when I first ventured into the shop. I also hopped over a few blocks over to the “other” Vintage Underground shop on N. Milwaukee Avenue, which is a curated vintage boutique-style shop. One word: beautiful.

There no such thing as too much vintage rhinestone.

There no such thing as too much vintage rhinestone.

I Have a White Rose to Tend (Verse XXXIX)
Here’s the poem I believe Carlos recited so beautifully:
I have a white rose to tend
In July as in January;
I give it to the true friend
Who offers his frank hand to me.
And for the cruel one whose blows
Break the heart by which I live,
Thistle nor thorn do I give:
For him, too, I have a white rose.

The freshwater pearls reminded me of Miriam Haskell. An unusual combination of rhinestones and freshwater pearls.

The freshwater pearls reminded me of Miriam Haskell. An unusual combination of rhinestones and freshwater pearls.

And the Spanish translation – truly a Romantic language:
Cultivo Una Rosa Blanca… (Verso XXXIX)
Cultivo una rosa blanca,
En julio como en enero,
Para el amigo sincero
Que me da su mano franca.
Y para el cruel que me arranca
El corazón con que vivo,
Cardo ni oruga cultivo:
Cultivo la rosa blanca.
(Carlos, let me know if I didn’t get the right poem! My Spanish – college Spanish, that is – is rusty, but I remembered colors, the heart, and Carlos’s gesture as he recited the poem, as if he were giving a gift to me, which he did!)

Eskell - a nicely curated shop with warm and friendly staff.

Eskell – a nicely curated shop with warm and friendly staff.

Eskell: supporting local jewelry designers and more
The other shop that I visited last June was Eskell (1509 N. Milwaukee Avenue, Chicago, 60622, 773.486.0830), which is where I discovered the jewelry of Laura Lombardi, a local designer, whose esthetics embrace reclaimed vintage and a modern industrial and architectural sensibility. When I came in on Wednesday, I was warmly greeted by Kelly Whitesell, founder and designer, who guided me through the store’s jewelry collections. Other local designers featured include Cities in Dust and Leah Ball, as well as Eskell’s own line. Other nonlocal designers include In God We Trust (one of my favorites from NYC), House of Harlow (Nicole Richie’s line) (I was smitten with a pair of rhinestone safety-pin earrings), A Peace Treaty, and a few others whose works I admired (but can’t remember their names, which means next time I need to whip out pen and paper to record).

Laura Lombardi necklace - gorgeous.

Laura Lombardi necklace – gorgeous.

As you can see by the pictures, Eskell is a beautiful little shop with a distinct point of view. I was so enamored of the jewelry that I confess I didn’t look at anything else, but next time I will check out the other goods. What I like about Eskell is the warm greeting and personal service you get. Extra points were gained when one of the sales girls remembered me from my June trip and my mention of my blog. And another round of points were given for the adorable dog, whose name I should have asked for but didn’t, sleeping on the sofa.

A Peace Treaty long necklace and sterling silver fan ring giving off Art Deco vibes.

A Peace Treaty long necklace and sterling silver fan ring giving off Art Deco vibes.

Kelly gave some great advice about the next cluster of vintage shops I need to check out when I am in town again – on Chicago Avenue. One thing is for sure, I’ll still be making return trips to Wicker Park and my “regular” local shops. Definitely make a point of spending time in this great neighborhood should you visit Chicago. Following my theme from Tuesday’s blog, shop small, shop local when in Chicago. As for me, I’ll be back!

Just for fun - House of Harlow rhinestone safety pin earrings.

Just for fun – House of Harlow rhinestone safety-pin earrings.

Any shop with a dog who has made itself comfortable is a shop I want to frequent!

Any shop with a dog who has made itself quite comfortable is a shop I want to frequent!

While everyone sleeps, I write

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A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
– Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, actress, and Civil Rights Movement activist

Late Thursday night, and everyone in the house is asleep, except for me. Mobile phone safely out of his room, my son, Jacob, is at last sleeping soundly. David turned in early, as he has to get up early for an all-day fishing trip with colleagues and a client on Friday. Isabella has always been an easy sleeper since she was a baby – she lays her head on her pillow and is dreaming within minutes. And Rex, my faithful library companion, is chasing squirrels and cats in his dreams as his geriatric hind legs jerk back and forth and his nails scratch his dog bed, hot on the hunt.

Bold ethnic print jacket and skirt brightens a wintry day.

Bold ethnic print jacket and skirt brightens a wintry day.

I am wide awake, despite the many evenings I have been sleepy and exhausted of late, in part because of the time change, the falling back. I am wide awake on this late night, and it’s the best time to write. When it’s this quiet, the words in my head and on the page are dancing, alive, pulsing with energy.

Carmela Rose earrings, End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Carmela Rose earrings, End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

It’s not so cold just yet that I need to be swaddled in a fleece blanket as I sit before my laptop. But in thinking of the late cold nights when everyone is beneath their down comforters and I must bear the thermostat having been turned down after 11PM, I remember one night before we remodeled and added on to our house. Our bedroom was my office, with our monstrous computer armoire looming in one corner of the room. When I worked late, which was often, David would sleep with the pillow wrapped around his head. Sometimes the luxury of staying up late at night was for my own writing.

Black platform boots and sky-blue turtleneck draw out the colors in the print.

Black platform boots and sky-blue turtleneck draw out the colors in the print.

I remember one night when I was writing for myself, working on my novel. Our bedroom sat over the garage. Cold air flowed through the cracks in the hardwood floor planks, making my feet icy and numb. I was wrapped in a blanket, but anything exposed – my fingers, my nose, my ears – was cold. But I was happy. Words were shaping worlds and giving voice and action to living, breathing people. Words were making them cry and laugh, gave them wishes and regrets. Words were flowing across the computer screen as my fingers tapped away, creating a musicality.

I finished a section, happy with the way it ended, happy with the chapter’s arc. And then I looked up for the first time in hours. I turned to my right, where the picture window faced the west. Dawn was breaking. I had written all night. The realization filled me with wonder. I was cold, but I was not tired. I was alive.

A perfect accessory match! Vintage Bakelite-inspired necklace with resin fanned leaves. Highlight it against a crisp white button-down blouse.

A perfect accessory match! Vintage Bakelite-inspired necklace with colored crystals and resin fanned leaves. Highlight it against a crisp white button-down blouse.

As I ponder the distractions of the last several weeks, which have tried to keep me from my writing, I think back to that one wondrous night of writing, which is not unlike a runner’s high. How to get back to that state of sheer joy? This is where the older, wiser self rises in freedom from the younger self, who has crumpled under the strain. Stand yourself up. Ask yourself: What do you really want? And then go to it. There is precious little time. With great defiance, go to your happiness. Many people are still trying to determine what makes them happy or would make them happy. But for those of us who have figured it out, against all odds, we must find our way. There are many more dawns waiting to greet me as I write.

Happy Friday!

TGIF! I am ready for what David catches for dinner and a much-deserved glass of wine!

TGIF! I am ready for what David catches for dinner and a much-deserved glass of wine!

Welcome November: ‘in everything, give thanks’

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You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.
– Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer, from The Prophet

When we moved back into our remodeled house in the spring of 2007, I saw a board in a catalog that simply said: “In everything, give thanks.” It ended up gracing our family room wall. Every now and then, I look up to it and I am reminded that we need not remember to give thanks just at Thanksgiving. It’s a daily ritual if we can find that quiet moment for reflection. I was supposed to take this past week off to work on my novel, but too many scheduled meetings and revised deadlines prevented me from asking for the week off. While I was discouraged, I told myself to keep plugging away when I could and everything would be fine. Last week ended with the beginning of a new month, the beginning of November. The end of the week also brought little and big joys, which afforded me moments of gratitude.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and sweat pant style.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and track pants.

Revision accepted
The revision that I had to do, the one that I fretted over because I didn’t think I could fit in everything the client wanted? I made an executive decision to include three concepts and no more. Though I had approached this re-do with mental roadblocks and a writer’s block, once I made that decision, it was easy to write. A burden was lifted. I sent it in, and the client liked it. Gone girl. The project and the stress, that is!

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Jenny K fundraiser
This past Saturday was the last day of a week-long fundraiser for my son’s middle school. This is a fundraiser that I started last year with Jen Komaromi, local woman entrepreneur of Jenny K, (6921 Stockton Avenue, El  Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.5350). It culminated with a two-hour wine and cheese event. Our new PTSA vice president provided all the beverages and food, and our energetic and cheerful fundraising chair brought her group of friends to shop. I thank Jen for her generosity in donating proceeds of the sales to our middle school. She has always supported the local schools and the community. And I thank my PTSA colleagues and all the shoppers who came out to support Portola and Jenny K (support your local businesses!). It warmed my heart to be a part of this annual fundraiser.

A Ryan Du Val mural above the storefronts graces Jenny K gift store and Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar.

Jenny K gift shop on the far left hosted the second November Portola Middle School fundraiser. Thanks, Jen!

 

Lunafest planning going well
As part of the Lunafest East Bay Organizing Committee, I am in charge of a new part of the format – coffee and dessert after the screening of the nine short films, by, for and about women. By the end of last week, I had secured two wonderful women entrepreneurs who will be serving their fabulous baked creations. More on this later. But suffice to say, Lunafest on March 8th, at 7:30pm at the El Cerrito High School Performing Arts Theater (540 Ashbury Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.231.1437) is going to be a wonderful evening of engaging, creative short films by women directors (in fact, one of the directors will be at this event) and fundraising for the Breast Cancer Fund and other local groups. Mark your calendars and bring your friends. This is a terrific community event.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I'm all set.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I’m all set.

Finis: novel completed
This past Sunday I completed the last major revision of my novel, A Village in the Fields. I started the novel in May 1997. I wrote numerous revisions, removed a major character, cut down from a high of a thousand pages to its current 461 pages. Much has happened in my life since its beginnings – marriage, work, two children, work, home remodel, work, public education volunteerism and advocacy, work, losing my mother, work – with some false starts on thinking it was done when in fact it was not. I’m that much closer now. The last leg of this journey is reading it straight through, from page 1 to page 461, to check the flow, the language, and to fix a few more things. I have never met any of my big self-imposed deadlines (I was supposed to have finished the novel each of the last three years), but I’m hoping to finish the entire manuscript by Thanksgiving. Finishing the last chapter on Sunday afternoon – after waking up to an epiphany about it Saturday morning – was deeply gratifying. And I am ever so grateful to have stuck with it, to have had close friends lend their critical eye and cheer me on, to have been humbled by the rejections back in 2006 and to have found the confidence and perseverance to get up and keep going, and to know what was wrong with it and to fix it. Once I’m completely done with this journey, it begins anew with another journey. And I am more than ready for that next journey, bursting with joy and gratitude.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.

Sofia DeMay: Giving back to kids in Haiti and on a global level

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You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
– Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer

Selling Girl Scout cookies, at age 11.

Selling Girl Scout cookies, at age 11.

Throughout her young life, Sofia DeMay, 17, has always been involved in community service. Guided by her desire to give back to the community, through her years as a Girl Scout, Sofia has packed and delivered groceries for the elderly, cooked for the Harrison House at Children’s Hospital in Oakland, and gone Christmas caroling, among other activities. I’ve known Sofia since David and I became good friends with her parents, Raissa and Mike, about five years ago. Sofia babysat our kids when they were younger, and I’ve watched her grow up to be an articulate, conscientious, intelligent, and beautiful person inside and out. When Raissa told me about her impending trip to Haiti back in February, I knew I wanted to hear about her experiences when she got back.

Opening hearts, opening doors
As a senior this past year at St. Mary’s College High School in Berkeley, Sofia was drawn to a program affiliated with her school and founded by parent alumna Margaret Trost. In January 2000, Trost went to Haiti on a service trip, volunteering at an orphanage and hospice founded by Mother Teresa. She met Father Gerard Jean-Juste, a Haitian priest who wanted to establish a food program to serve the children of Port-au-Prince. Inspired, Trost returned to the U.S. and began raising money for his cause. As the fundraising took off, she founded the What If Foundation (616 The Alameda, Berkeley, CA 94707, 510.528.1100), which helps support Father Jean-Juste’s food, after-school, and summer education programs. As one of St. Mary’s students who helped put together care packages for Haitian kids under the What If Foundation, Sofia was curious about Haiti. “I had heard about it, but I had never actually learned about it,” she said.

Sofia with a new Haitian friend.

Sofia with a new Haitian friend.

Every year, a group of St. Mary’s students raise funds to go to Haiti for a week and work in Father Jean-Juste’s programs. Sofia knew that Haiti had staged a successful slave rebellion, but her perception of the small island nation was largely informed by negative media coverage – poverty, diseases such as AIDS, political unrest, and violence. On the list of countries that the U.S. State Department has issued a travel warning, Haiti was a place Sofia never considered a destination. “I didn’t know it [visiting the country] was something you could do, but I was interested in traveling to a place like that to figure things out for myself,” she said. More importantly, she added, “I was really into building a relationship with kids in another country; that’s what really drew me to it.”

As part of their orientation on cultural awareness, Sofia and nine of her fellow classmates read numerous articles and two books – former Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide’s Eyes of the Heart: Seeking a Path for the Poor in the Age of Globalization and Trost’s On That Day, Everybody Ate: One Woman’s Story of Hope and Possibility in Haiti. After four months of preparation, Sofia and her classmates arrived in Haiti in early March. The philosophy and world religion teachers who chaperone the student groups were accompanied by a translator and a driver. Armed guards watched over them at the places in which they stayed.

A typical street in Haiti (photo by Sofia).

A typical street in Haiti (photo by Sofia DeMay).

Real-world education
On the second day of their trip, Sofia and her classmates met with a local historian who presented the history of her country to them, which included its one-sided relationships within the international community. Sofia was “shocked” upon learning about, for instance, the U.S. embargo and intervention in Haiti. “I realized that what everyone said about Haiti was really wrong and so skewed by the media,” she said. History, she came to see, was written by people in power. “It didn’t hit home until that moment,” she added.

Later in the week, Sofia and her classmates participated in a Q&A with a group of Haitian students and their translator, which exposed the differences between the two countries’ school systems. In the U.S., especially for seniors applying for college – which Sofia and her classmates were in the midst of at the time – students are very competitive and always trying to get head. Haitian students, however, consider education a great privilege because the majority of kids don’t have the financial means to go to school. Students interact within a “brotherhood” or “sisterhood,” helping one another to ensure success for all.

Sofia getting a Haitian drum lesson.

Sofia getting a Haitian drum lesson.

“It was such a moving moment because I would never have thought of that or would have imagined kids back home doing that,” Sofia said. “It was as if they were bound together somehow; they owed it to one another to share the little that they had.” Sofia also noted that the students understood that the enemy isn’t each other; it’s the system and the exam itself. In addition to the prohibitive expense of going to school, the university examination is so difficult that only 1 percent of the population goes on to higher education. With the current government favoring the elite and the gap widening between rich and poor, school, not surprisingly, is not encouraged for the masses.

Life-altering moments
After participating in the after-school program, Sofia and her classmates helped serve meals for the food program, which is run in a huge tent. As the children congregated, the tent filled with their laughter. When it was time to serve, however, Sofia noted that the entire atmosphere changed. The kids ate just as quickly as the food was being served, with many returning to the line, still hungry. The older kids were making sure their younger siblings had enough to eat. Despite the program’s best efforts, there is never enough food to feed all of the kids. “Four of us broke down crying,” Sofia related. “We’ve never experienced that kind of desperation before. At home I can walk into my house and get as much food as I want, whereas these little kids here can’t even get one meal. It put my life into perspective.”

Closing prayer with the kids at Sakala - solidarity.

Closing prayer with the kids at Sakala – solidarity.

Toward the end of their week, Sofia and her classmates visited another after-school program, Sakala, located in Cité Soleil, an impoverished and crowded commune located in the Port-au-Prince metropolitan area. The school, which is walled in, was a different world altogether and a safe haven for the kids, who were happily playing basketball, soccer, and ping-pong in the courtyard. After helping set up a water filter for the school, Sofia and her classmates joined in the sports activities. At the end of the day, despite the language barrier, they banded together and created a mural with handprints. When they ran out of paint, the kids pressed their palms together with the other kids and, smiling, said to one another: “Now you have color! Now you have color!”

Sharing paint for a mural.

Sharing paint for a mural.

“It was such a moving moment because I would never have thought of that or would have imagined kids back home doing that,” Sofia said. “I wrote in my journal that night that I finally felt a purpose in my life. I felt like I was actually making a difference.” Daniel Tileas, who runs Sakala, explained to Sofia and her classmates that the kids don’t care about money; rather, they value knowing that people care about them. “That moment just made me realize that there’s actually something you can do with your life that will fulfill you and that you can truly make a difference,” she said.

A Changing world view
Her experience in Haiti made Sofia question her life and wonder how we as a global society can allow hunger in fourth-world countries to exist. “Coming home, I was so much more aware of things,” she said. Sofia made “little changes” to her lifestyle: She scaled back going out to eat and driving a car, and instead of spending money she had earned, she donated it to the What If Foundation. Whenever the opportunity presented itself, she talked about her trip, with the goal of enlightening her classmates and friends about “cultural consciousness.” At her grandfather’s birthday party in late March, she told one of her grandmother’s friends about Haiti. This friend, who had recently inherited a large sum of money, was so moved by Sofia’s experiences that she donated the entire inheritance to the What If Foundation to help build a school in Haiti.

Sofia and her mother, Raissa, and her grandparents.

Sofia and her mother, Raissa, and her maternal grandparents.

The moment Sofia came home, she knew she would return to Haiti, where she felt she could create more of an impact there than she thought she could at home. She made good on her vow to herself, going back with another group of students – including four returning classmates from her March trip – the last week in July, and further enriching her Haitian experience.

Sofia at her high school graduation, with her parents and brother, Nic.

Sofia at her high school graduation, with her parents and brother, Nic.

Sofia always knew that her career path would involve being able to give back. “I never realized that I could do it on a global scale,” she said, with wonder in her voice, until her trip to Haiti. Sofia, now a freshman at the University of California, Los Angeles, is majoring in Global Studies. “After going to Haiti, I realized there’s so much I don’t know and that we’re either not taught or dictated by the people who write the history books,” she said. As a result, she plans on traveling to other parts of the world and conducting her own research. When I asked what she might do with her career, she brought up a program that builds sanitation systems in the poor areas of Haiti, which combines her love for Haiti, giving back, and biology and ecology, her favorite school subjects. She imagines spearheading a similar type of program after graduation.

Telling Haiti’s story
Sofia talks about Haiti with emotions and descriptions at once vivid and immediate, as if she has just come back. At the end of her first trip, Tileas told Sofia and her classmates that if there is one thing they could do to give back it would be to “tell Haiti’s story.” For Sofia, it has become second nature because, as she said, “Haiti has become such a big part of me.”

Sofia and her family in India, December 2012.

Sofia and her family in India, December 2012.