When in Vegas: Get happy, Part 1

Happiness is a choice.
– Shawn Achor, social psychologist and author

My room with a view at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

My room with a view at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

One of the perks of covering industry conferences for my work is getting to listen to the keynote speakers. In the past nine years, I’ve been fortunate to have a chance to hear Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Freakonomics author and rogue economist Steven Levitt, journalist and New Yorker staff writer Malcolm Gladwell, and Atul Gawande, surgeon and New Yorker medical writer. I was in Las Vegas the past three days for a supply-chain management conference, and I had the serendipitous pleasure of listening to and writing about opening keynote speaker Shawn Achor.

Why serendipitous? Early last week I was feeling a bit down about having to endure the long and drawn-out process of sending out queries and waiting to hear back from literary agents. And even though I had just come off of a week devoted to working on my second novel (but with liberal interruptions from work), I was bemoaning how overwhelmed I felt about the amount of research the second novel requires and my lack of big chunks of time – well, time, period – to read, research, sketch and plan, and start writing. Meanwhile at work, I had to draft conference session summaries ahead of the actual conference. One of my assignments was to summarize Shawn Achor’s opening keynote based on a long bio that I was given. At the time, I had no idea who he was.

Shawn Achor's opening keynote.

Shawn Achor’s opening keynote.

For those who have never heard of him, Shawn Achor is a social psychologist and author of the New York Times best-selling books The Happiness Advantage (2010) and Before Happiness (2013) and host of the PBS special The Happiness Advantage with Shawn Achor. He is one of the world’s leading experts on the connection between happiness and success, and his positive psychology lecture is the most popular class at Harvard University, where he teaches. He founded GoodThinkInc. in 2007 to share his research on happiness, which has earned him numerous accolades, including gracing the cover of Harvard Business Review.

Achor presented a TED talk that garnered four million views and his PBS-aired lecture was seen by millions. He has lectured or researched in more than 50 countries, with his audiences including Chinese CEOs and South African school children. He worked with the U.S. Department of Health to promote happiness and the National MS Society and Genzyme in 2012 on their Everyday Matters campaign to show how happiness is a choice for chronically ill patients. He earned his master’s degree from Harvard Divinity School in Christian and Buddhist ethics, conducts psychology research on happiness and organizational achievement in collaboration with Yale University and the Institute for Applied Positive Research, and teaches in the Advanced Management Program at Wharton Business School. I’ve added him as another multi-talented person to admire, next to John Halamka.

My hotel floor hallway, reminiscent of The Shining....

My hotel floor hallway, reminiscent of The Shining….

Choosing happiness
This is Achor’s second appearance at this conference. Two years ago, he shared his research on the connection between happiness and success, which was the topic of his first book. In his opening keynote this year, Achor discussed the precursors to happiness and success, which he chronicles in Before Happiness, and highlighted what we need to change in our reality in order for us to have long-term, sustainable happiness, success, creativity, and higher levels of performance.

While humans have genetic predispositions, Achor emphasizes that “happiness can be a choice.” According to Achor, we need to get the human brain to change and recharge through activities such as activating our “mirror neurons” that in turn increase our levels of dopamine, which raises our level of happiness and joy. For example, when someone smiles at you, mirror neurons in the brain are activated, causing you to smile. Achor worked with New Orleans hospitals post-Katrina to reverse the view of hospitals as places of sickness and disease. Other industry business models were reviewed, in particular, the five-star hotel experience for customer service – called the 10-5 way – developed by the Ritz-Carlton. When patrons are within 10 feet, staff members offer them a smile. When they are within five feet, staff members say hello.

The Bellagio Gardens, near Michael Mina's restaurant, where me and my team dined on "innovative seafood."

The Bellagio Gardens, near Michael Mina’s restaurant, where my team and I dined on “innovative seafood.”

Within six months of implementing the 10-5 way, a group of hospitals reported a significant rise in the number of unique patient visits, a spike in the likelihood of patients to refer the facility based on the quality of care they received, and high levels of physician engagement. A one-second behavioral change created multiple quantitative benefits, but the intangible and qualitative benefit – happier patients and staff – is arguably the most important one. “We are socialized for reciprocation,” Achor explained. Despite our individuality, human brains are wirelessly connected and through continuous loops of creating positive experiences, humans can experience “neuroplasticity,” which allows us to change our behavior.

On the flip side, being around stress and negativity is comparable to inhaling second-hand smoke, according to Achor. Studies have been conducted, for example, in which a researcher stood among 15 strangers in an airport or train station. The researcher began nervously bouncing in place, tapping his foot and constantly looking at his watch. Within two minutes, between seven to 12 people on average began to unconsciously mimic his behavior. Achor encouraged the audience to try out the experiment at the Vegas airport on our way home, joking that we would be spreading stress and negativity.

The positive, engaged brain
The Harvard Business Journal article, in which Achor was profiled, concluded that “the greatest competitive advantage in the modern economy is a positive, engaged brain.” Gallop found that only 25 percent of our job successes is based on our intelligence and technical skills. Three other elements comprise the remaining 75 percent – your optimism or the belief that your behavior matters; the breadth, depth, and meaning of your social support network and relationships; and lastly, the way you perceive stress. Today, at a time when many industries, including healthcare, are undergoing significant changes and transformations, how do we remain resilient, especially when change is often perceived as a threat, which in turn creates stress?

A strapless H&M dress and chunky heels worthy of Vegas.

A strapless H&M dress and chunky heels worthy of Vegas.

While stress creates havoc mentally, emotionally, and physically, moderate to high levels of stress have also been known to induce the body to release growth hormones that actually rebuild cells, create a robust immune system, deepen our memory, speed up cognitive processes, and deepen our social bonds. The military, Achor pointed out, uses the boot camp to “onboard” its recruits to prepare for combat. The situational stress creates “a shared meaningful narrative” that bonds the recruits. “That’s the message we don’t get amid massive change,” Achor said. Stress can be a “growth-producing opportunity” and the “glue that keeps people and organizations together for decades.”

While, obviously, people respond to stress differently, Achor contends that we can learn how to view stress in a positive way. During the banking crisis, UBS employees taking an online course saw YouTube videos that offered two different paths to handling stress – fight or flee from threats or understand the effects of stress on the human body and leverage that knowledge to treat stress as an enhancement. Six weeks later, employee stress levels remained the same. According to a self-reported survey, however, 23 percent of the employees reported a drop in health-related symptoms usually related to stress and 30 percent of them experienced an increase in their productivity. Stress is inevitable, but negative effects on the human body are not, Achor stressed. (This reminds me of the Buddhist adage, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”) We can view changes that are occurring in the world as challenges and not threats.

Carmela Rose necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, Personal Pizazz earrings (Berkeley, CA), sterling silver cuff (Portland, ME), and my 50th birthday present from David, Tiffany ring (Las Vegas).

Carmela Rose necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, Personal Pizazz earrings (Berkeley, CA), Se Vende Hill Tribe sterling silver cuff (Portland, ME), and one of my 50th birthday presents from David, Tiffany ring (Las Vegas).

Trumping nature and nurture
Many people assume we are hardwired by nature and molded by our early years, and therefore, the average person doesn’t fight their genes, which studies have shown. A researcher who was part of a well-known study of identical twins found that 80 percent of long-term happiness is predicted by one’s genes (he has since recanted that finding, according to Achor). While the researcher was only half-right, Achor contends that he is wholly wrong. One woman who was an identical twin told Achor that while both she and her twin had grown up very negative she was more optimistic than her twin. She had been involved in a terrible car accident as a teenager. She thought she was going to die but didn’t, which instilled in her a new outlook on life. What’s incredible, Achor notes, is that it wasn’t a positive change but post-traumatic growth that caused her to deviate from her genetic set point. “If we can change for the better with trauma, how much so can we change with something positive?” he offered to us.

“People think happiness is complacency, so we stop,” Achor noted. “Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change; happiness is the realization that we actually can.” He defines happiness in terms of positive psychology, based on the ancient Greeks, and informed by Christian and Buddhist ethics, which he studied at Harvard’s Divinity School: “Happiness is the joy that we feel striving toward our potential.” If happiness is just pleasure, it’s short lived and it dies almost immediately, Achor said. If “happiness” doesn’t have a meaning component, it can’t be sustained. “But joy is something you can experience in the midst of the ups and downs of life,” he declared. “It’s on the way toward potential, so it’s growth-producing. It’s not stagnating, which is what complacency actually is.”

Change your mind set, look at the world differently
Achor is on a mission to get people to stop looking at happiness in terms of optimism and pessimism and instead to look at the world differently. Rather than see a glass as half-empty or half-full, for example, be creative in how we view our world and envision a pitcher full of water next to the glass. Expand your world. As you face the changes in your life, positive or negative, expend energy looking for ways to fill up the glass, which Achor calls an act of positive genius.

Silver and onyx accessories for black and cream.

Sterling silver and onyx accessories against black and cream.

Positive genius can be applied to multiple situations and groups of people, which can lead to widespread positive changes in, for example, education and the military. Studies were conducted in which students were given articles to read before having to complete a cognitive task. Half the class read an article about how intelligence is fixed. The other half read an article that stated that intelligence is malleable – people can change their intelligence all the time and can have different intelligence from one year over the previous year. After the students who read the latter article took the test, the studies found that, in aggregate, even the students with higher IQs did better on their cognitive tasks. They had the same IQs and genes going into the experiment, but they experienced a dramatic deviation based on the belief that change is possible.

Another study was conducted with soldiers who had to scale steep hills with heavy backpacks. One group of soldiers was primed to believe that change was possible and they became more positive about the task ahead of them. Once they scaled the hills and were asked to rate their experience, they deemed the hills as being lower and the weight of the backpacks as being lighter than they had anticipated. “What’s amazing is that the optimists were actually realists,” Achor said. “They were pretty accurate in terms of the approximation of the weight and the hills to be.” The other set of soldiers who were primed for a negative experience perceived the hills to be steeper and their backpacks heavier. According to the study, these soldiers’ brains “showed” them pictures of larger hills and heavier backpacks, which caused them to believe that behavior matters less and, as a result, they were more fatigued.

Lastly, Achor presented the findings by Harvard University social psychologist Ellen Langer, who conducted a study in 1979 of 75-year-old men on a week-long retreat. They were “transported” back to the year 1959; the only reading material at the retreat were magazines and newspapers from that year, they wore ID badges with their photos as 55-year-olds, and they could only talk about their lives up to that year. A separate group of 75-year-olds participated in a retreat for the current year of 1979. Langer wanted to prove a revolutionary hypothesis – that the aging process can be reversed if the mindset is changed. She measured all the things we think about that are unchangeable about aging – including strength, posture, and flexibility – at the beginning and conclusion of the retreat for both groups.

Next time I'm in Vegas, I'll pack this splashy dress.

Next time I’m in Vegas, I’ll pack this splashy dress.

In the aggregate, the 1959 group recorded a 10 percent improvement in eyesight and a 50 percent in improvement in memory. Recruited “naïve readers” were asked to examine photos taken before and after the retreat. They rated the 1959 group as looking three years younger in their after-retreat photos. Langer’s research revealed that the aging process is mediated by the way we perceive the world. “If we think about the world in terms of threats, if we think that we can’t change our intelligence, creativity, or the obstacles in front of us, or even the aging process, we start to see those patterns start to bear out,” Achor said.

But what if we approached stressful events as opportunities for growth and we believe that we can change and we can look at the world differently to our advantage? Achor entreats us to do so. Game on.

Stay tuned for Part II of choosing happiness on Friday.

A Rainy March Sunday at the Alameda flea market

I love going to flea markets, especially when I’m traveling, because I love seeing the stuff of other cultures, handicrafts and things with historical content.
– Anna Sui, American fashion designer

I had heard of the Alameda flea market for quite a while, but I had never been. My friend, Raissa, who has gone a number of times, and I made plans for the first Sunday in February. But after a glorious January with temps in the 70s, the rains came and we had to wait until the first Sunday in March. Well, it was misty on that day and then it started drizzling, with a chill rolling in like fog. We were chased out after only a couple of hours of methodically making our way to the entrance from the back. We obviously didn’t hit everything or have the opportunity to walk leisurely around. But it only means that we will be back when the sun is shining – perhaps with a flatbed in tow!

Beautiful antique ceiling tins and mirrors. Oh, to have a big old empty house to fill with antiques and vintage wares and furniture.

Beautiful antique ceiling tins and mirrors. Oh, to have a big old empty house to fill with antiques and vintage wares and furniture!

Despite the weather, while there weren’t as many vendors as there would have been in good weather, there were plenty of interesting wares to admire, even if we did zoom by as the mist turned heavy and into rain. We took business cards, made a note of where the vendors were on the grid, and committed to memory what particular things they handcrafted or were selling that we appreciated.

Lely Howard, "builders of repurposed reclaimed custom furniture," reminds me of Good Goods. You can reach him at 707.321.7005, sales@lelyhoward.com.

The work of Lely Howard, “builders of repurposed reclaimed custom furniture,” reminds me of Good Goods – industrial mixed with rustic. You can reach him at 707.321.7005, sales@lelyhoward.com.

Here are some of the moments I captured on my maiden voyage:

Wine country aesthetic of Lely Howard's goods.

Wine country aesthetic of Lely Howard’s goods.

More beautiful displays by Lely Howard.

A close-up of a beautiful display by Lely Howard.

Elsie Green (2954 Treat Blvd., Suite C-D, Concord, 866.575.4437, www.elsiegreen.com) had the most amazing displays! I got a lot of decorating tips from this green shop.

Elsie Green (2954 Treat Blvd., Suite C-D, Concord, 866.575.4437, www.elsiegreen.com) had the most amazing tabletop displays! I got a lot of decorating tips from this green shop.

Another amazing dining arrangement from Elsie Green.

Another beautiful dining arrangement from Elsie Green.

We had a great time trying on vintage and antique jewelry from "treasure hunter and stylist" Heather Tenaya, who travels the world in search of beautiful jewelry. You can see her goods at Vin.Jewels.com, GypsyRoadStudio.Etsy.com.

We had a great time trying on vintage and antique jewelry at the booth of “treasure hunter and stylist” Heather Tenaya, who travels the world over in search of beautiful jewelry. You can see her goods at Vin.Jewels.com and GypsyRoadStudio.Etsy.com.

Dramatic and stunning 1920s Czech glass drop earrings!

Dramatic and stunning 1920s Czech glass drop earrings!

1920s French onyx and sterling silver necklace.

1920s French marcasite, onyx, and sterling silver necklace, a la Great Gatsby.

 

Ringing in the New Year: open those windows

I have always loved a window, especially an open one.
– Wendell Berry, American novelist, poet, environmental activist, cultural critic, and farmer, from Jayber Crow

At the Orpheum Theatre.

At the Orpheum Theatre.

Enjoying the theater
My cousin, Janet, and her husband Tim, affectionately nicknamed “Timbuktu” by my kids when they were younger, came up to celebrate the New Year with us this year. One of things Tim wanted to do while up here was see the musical, The Book of Mormon, which is finishing up its run at the Orpheum Theatre (1192 Market Street, SF, 94102, 888.746.1799) in San Francisco later this month. They usually come up for the 4th of July holiday, so this visit was a nice addition. We went to the musical this past Monday evening, BARTing into the City and walking up several blocks in the colorful Tenderloin neighborhood for a Korean dinner before the show. The Book of Mormon, written by the creators of South Park, is an entertaining poke at the Mormons. Given that my best friend in elementary school was a Mormon and I had classmates in high school who were Mormons and went on to do their missions, I had a pretty good understanding and could appreciate the jokes.

San Francisco's City Hall on the brink of New Year's Eve.

San Francisco’s lit-up City Hall on the brink of New Year’s Eve.

David and I were grateful that Janet and Tim treated us to the musical. At the same time, it made us realize, as we appreciated the beautiful architectural details of the Orpheum Theatre, that it had been several years – four years to be exact – since we last came, to see Wicked with the kids. It reminded me of how we always say, we’re going to see more movies this year, we’re going to see more plays, readings, musicals, shows. And then four or more years go by. We enjoyed ourselves so much that this moment was all I need to make good on that wish. I must say that being in my 50s certainly makes me think about how I can’t be so casual about time. And I mean that not in a panicked way; rather, in a more mindful way. It’s like trying to make as many moments count as possible – without checking off lists.

Point Reyes National Seashore, where whales spouting off could be seen in the mist.

Point Reyes National Seashore, where whales spouting off could be seen in the mist.

Elephant seals at rest on the cove.

Elephant seals at rest on the cove.

New Year’s Day at Point Reyes
We usually spend New Year’s Day at Muir Woods National Monument in Mill Valley, but this year we decided to drive farther out to Point Reyes National Seashore, over an hour’s drive to the north of us. We were not alone in choosing this NYD destination, although we did get off to a late start as a result of some NYE partying and celebration of a good friend’s birthday. We did a couple of hikes, one of which was the Earthquake trail, situated over the San Andreas Fault.

Illustrating how far a fence jumped - 16 feet - after the 1906 Earthquake.

Illustrating how far a fence jumped – 16 feet – after the 1906 Earthquake.

Plentiful deer grazing the grasslands.

Plentiful deer grazing the grasslands.

We walked to the Point Reyes Lighthouse, which was barely visible in the fog, and then embarked on a short walk to see the inert elephant seals on the shore. Along the way, we saw herons, hawks, a rabbit, deer, horses, and whales in the distance, which made us appreciate the natural habitat that is home to so many animals. Those of us who live in the Bay Area oftentimes take for granted what’s right in front of us. Our NYD excursion was a reminder of all the beauty around us.

Heron posing at the Visitor's Center, Point Reyes.

Heron posing at the Visitor’s Center, Point Reyes.

The Start of the New Year
This weekend we will be taking down the tree and all the decorations. Usually around this time I’m ready to return to the clean lines of our interior and move past Christmas. This year, however, I’m a bit sad to put everything away. Our tree held up remarkably well, hardly dropping any needles. While not as fragrant anymore, it looks as fresh as it did when we first put our ornaments and lights on it and topped it with our punched-tin star. We enjoyed spending evenings as a family in front of the fire and lit villages.

Close-up of the packed sediment near the Point Reyes Lighthouse.

Close-up of the packed sediment near the Point Reyes Lighthouse.

Maybe I’m at that age where experiencing and acknowledging the passage of time becomes more acute. I look back on the frantic month of December and ask myself: Did I appreciate everything? Did I appreciate enough? One of my measurements is looking at the kids and determining if they appreciated the season. I know they did, and that brings a lot of contentment. So as I face the New Year, I tell myself: Embrace everything – appreciate what brings joy and learn from our sorrows – and in everything, give thanks. Post script: As the year progresses, with each new day, find the windows and open them because when you do, look what you see, experience, and appreciate:

Celebrating the New Year with Nature.

Celebrating the New Year with Nature.

Whale watching and reflection at Point Reyes National Seashore.

Whale watching and reflection at Point Reyes National Seashore.

StoryCorps: Everyone has a story that needs to be told – and recorded

I think the best stories always end up being about the people rather than the event, which is to say character-driven.
Stephen King, American author, from On Writing

When my family and I went to the Contemporary Jewish Museum (CJM) (736 Mission Street, 94103, 415.655.7800) in San Francisco for the first time in January, I discovered that it housed a StoryCorps recording studio. I’ve listened to a number of StoryCorps stories on National Public Radio (NPR) through the years, though not as much as I would have liked. Right outside the boxy, industrial hut of a studio, a grouping of ottoman-style chairs invited people to sit and watch animations on a flat-screen TV. The loop of recorded stories included one of the more famous stories – about the couple, Danny and Annie Perasa from Brooklyn and their remarkable love for one another that lasted decades, right up to his passing from cancer. As I quietly sniffled and wiped tears from my cheeks, an older man walked by and commented, “It gets people all the time.” And people’s lives are enriched by such stories.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

After we left CJM, I vowed to talk to my sisters and see if they would be interested in recording memories of our parents as a way of honoring them and preserving our family history. My middle sister declined, which came as no surprise to me she is a private person. My oldest sister Heidi was excited to participate. Now it was a matter of logistics, as she lived in San Antonio. When she booked her flight for the Christmas holidays months ago, I booked our appointment for StoryCorps.

About StoryCorps
StoryCorps was founded in 2003 by radio producer Dave Isay, with the idea that “everyone has an important story to tell.” One of the largest oral history projects of its kind, StoryCorps, to date, has recorded more than 51,585 interviews. More than 90,440 people have shared their stories. Nearly 35,000 hours of audio have been recorded since 2003. Storytellers are given a free CD of the recording to share as widely as they wish. The recording is then sent to the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress for posterity. Approximately 1 in 200 recordings are edited down to a few minutes and broadcast to millions on the Morning Edition of NPR. Currently, there are three storybooths Atlanta, Chicago (we saw the signs when we were there this past June), and San Francisco. A mobile recording studio also travels across the country capturing people’s stories, reaching more than 1,700 cities and towns to date.

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

StoryCorps has grown to offer special programs and initiatives. Since 2005, StoryCorps and the National September 11 Memorial & Museum have partnered with the goal of recording at least one story to honor each life that was lost in the September 11, 2001, and February 26, 1993, attacks through its September 11th initiative. StoryCorpsU is an educational, year-long, youth development program for students at high-needs high schools, dedicated to developing students’ identity and social intelligence through the use of StoryCorps broadcasts and animated shorts.

The Military Voices Initiative honors our veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan by recording and sharing their stories. The 18-month National Teachers Initiative honored the stories of public school teachers across the country. Latinos’ stories are preserved, thanks to the Historias Initiative, and The Griot Initiative preserves the rich stories of African-Americans. People with serious illnesses and their families have an opportunity to share their stories through the StoryCorps Legacy. Organizations have worked with StoryCorps on the Memory Loss Initiative, which seeks to preserve the stories of people who have a range of memory loss. And finally, The Alaska Initiative was a six-month program in 2008 and into 2009 that recorded the diverse lives of people living in Alaska.

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Preparing for our storytelling
I had notions of spending a lot of time thinking about what we would say, how we would say it, and how to organize and put our memories in a neat narrative. But, as one friend once told me years ago, “life happens.” Work, school and its extracurricular activities, kid sports, blogging, novel, and the dreary demands of housekeeping sucked up my life as it if were air.

And then suddenly it was a few weeks before Heidi was to fly into the Bay Area. We traded e-mails, disagreed on what specific memories to share. Heidi went onsite and pulled up lists of questions that are meant to draw out one’s stories. We needed to read how this would all play out. You are booked for an hour in the recording booth. After filling out a form, you are introduced to a guide who preps you and monitors the recording. Geraldine was our wonderful guide who put us at ease, as we were quite nervous going into the session and especially once we sat down at this small table and stared at one another with two sets of microphones intruding. At some point during the recording, I thought to myself, as Geraldine took notes for key searchable words, what a wonderful experience this was for her and all the other guides  to hear amazing stories (that’s the writer in me!) and to come away inspired and richer with every experience shared.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

What we talked about when we talked about our parents
The 40 minutes we were allotted for our free-flowing dialogue went by quickly. There were certain things we wanted to cover. What our strongest memories were of our mom and dad. Dad and his garden. Mom and her steadfast desire to ensure that we lived and prospered under the American Dream through her hard work of picking grapes during the summers and packing oranges in the wintertime. We talked about learning of Dad’s post-traumatic stress syndrome after he had passed away, when our uncle said that he was a happy-go-lucky guy until WWII. Heidi had revealed, for the first time to me, that he had once told her he had seen and done things he didn’t want to talk about again. When our uncle told us about his condition, it explained so much about his eccentric behavior all our lives. We talked about losing Dad on Christmas night in 1995 and the tense Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in 2011 when Mom was in the ICU for two weeks and then the acute-care facility for five weeks.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Our voices wavered, we cried. Yes, we laughed, too. And yes, it became a part of us. We remembered things differently. We talked as if we were 10 and 13  siblings acting like siblings even at 51 and 54, which is just a fact of nature and family. And then our time was up! Geraldine took our picture and more information. We made donations, had our picture taken with Geraldine, were given a book By Dave Isay of a collection of recorded stories. And then we said goodbye to StoryCorps’ San Francisco home of the last five years.

Your turn
Heidi noticed that the information board behind the counter announced that the StoryCorps recording studio would be closing December 13th, the very next day. We realized just how lucky we were to have made the appointment for that particular day, the evening after Heidi had arrived in town. We were told that StoryCorps would be making an announcement soon to let everyone know where the new location would be and that its new home would remain in San Francisco. That was a relief to hear! So I am letting you all know, my local friends and acquaintances, to book an appointment once the recording studio is set up. We are lucky to have a permanent studio in the Bay Area. Take advantage of its existence, its proximity. For far-flung family, friends, and acquaintances, if you are not near the other recording booths, find out where the mobile booth is headed.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

We all have stories to tell. We have memories and people family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to remember and honor, to make alive again through our words, through our voices. Storytelling is one of the things that I believe makes us human. We have such a rich oral history already, but to have our stories shared with each other at that moment in time, in that tiny booth with microphones and stacks of equipment seen out the corner of our eyes, and for many others to hear later and forever, that is an opportunity and a gift. Come together with family members or friends and record your story. I truly believe everyone should record his or her story for us all to hear. For when we steal away from our busy lives and quietly listen to these stories, our humanity grows evermore. And we find that our community expands to the ends of the earth.

“Tell your story, pass it on.”

Chicago: Appreciating the Chicago History Museum

Even amidst the somber uncleanliness of Chicago one sees the light of a new epoch, the coming of new conceptions, of foresight, of large collective plans and discipline to achieve them, the fresh green leaves, among all the festering manure, of the giant growths of a more orderly and more beautiful age.
– H.G. Wells, English writer, from The Future in America: A Search after Realities, 1906, Chapter IV, “Growth Invincible: The Tail of Chicago”

Somehow we missed it on our family vacation this past June. Luckily, I found it in December. I’m talking about The Chicago History Museum (1601 North Clark Street, 60614, 312.642.4600), which is located at the south end of Lincoln Park. You know this jam-packed, two-story museum has to be good because the city has such a rich history. I was not disappointed. The special exhibits, however, provided an additional and unexpected dimension.

The Chicago History Museum on a blustery, cold December day.

The Chicago History Museum on a blustery and cold but sunny December day.

Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair
Eunice Johnson was the wife of John H. Johnson and an executive of the Johnson Publishing Company, but she was best known as the founder and director of Ebony Fashion Fair, which began as a hospital fundraiser in New Orleans in 1958 and soon became a popular traveling fashion show that spanned half a century in 200 cities in the U.S., Canada, and the Caribbean, and raised more than $50 million for charity. The exhibit featured more than 60 spectacular outfits, of which unfortunately no cameras were allowed to take photos. I didn’t even try to sneak a few, though I was sorely tempted.

In addition to the fashions by Oscar de la Renta, Christian Dior, and Yves Saint Laurent, fashions by emerging African-American designers were selected by Mrs. Johnson, who, with her husband, founded The Negro Digest, which was styled after Reader’s Digest, in 1942. The success led to the establishment of Ebony, which was styled after the magazine Look, and Jet. Fascinating filmed interviews revealed what a groundbreaker Mrs. Johnson was. She pushed her way into the high fashion world when the industry looked upon African-Americans as a segment of the population that neither had the money nor were interested in fashion. According to one interview, they didn’t know what to make of her or what to do with her, which can also mean a certain freedom in blazing one’s trail. The success of her fashion fair proved the industry wrong, but she also opened doors for African-American models, who were never used before until her shows, and African-American fashion designers. Mrs. Johnson was inspiring, indeed. Just as important, she was courageous and visionary. The exhibit ends January 5th.

The American Heroes exhibit.

The American Heroes exhibit.

American Heroes: World War II Nisei Soldiers and the Congressional Gold Medal
I thought it was interesting that the museum was a stopping place for the national tour exhibit: American Heroes: World War II Nisei Soldiers and the Congressional God Medal, which actually closed Sunday, December 8. In 2011, Congress finally recognized the bravery and dedication of Nisei servicemen from the 100th Infantry Battalion, the 442nd Regimental Combat Team, and the Military Intelligence Service. Many young men, who were taken from their homes and communities and interned in inhospitable camps, joined the military to show their allegiance. Here’s the Chicago connection: Once many of these families were released, they relocated to the Windy City to escape the racism that was still rampant in their hometowns on the West Coast. It’s a small but powerful exhibit. Hopefully you can find it in your city as the exhibit continues its travels.

Chicago was famous for its stock yards in the 1800s.

Chicago was famous for its stock yards in the 1800s.

Chicago: Crossroads of America
A mini museum that could rightfully call itself the Chicago History Museum all by itself, this exhibition takes you from the beginning when the region was home to otters and trappers and Native Americans roamed the frontier to its myriad transformations. Chicago was infamous for having the country’s largest stock yard, smells and all. Everybody knows about Old Mother Hubbard, whose cow did not kick a lantern in the shed on October 10, 1871, in what was to be known as the Great Chicago Fire. The Haymarket Massacre occurred on May 4, 1886, when laborers who were advocating for an eight-hour workday clashed with police and a bomb was thrown into the crowd, resulting in deaths and injuries. You’ll find the usual suspects as historical subjects: Gangs, strife at the 1968 Democratic National Convention, Jane Addams and her Hull House, the founding of several famous retail companies such as Marshall Field and Crate and Barrel and Sears, famous inventors such as the German immigrant who built the first Schwinn bicycle, and the citywide parties – World’s Columbian Exposition, which debuted in 1893, and the Chicago World’s Fair in 1933.

Chicago's century of progress.

Chicago’s century of progress.

Siam: The Queen and the White City
In 1893, The World’s Columbian Exposition brought Queen Savang Vadana to Chicago. The queen contributed many beautiful artifacts for Siam’s exhibition, including her own intricate handiwork in a photo album that was presented to the chair of the Board of Lady Managers. This small exhibit provided a glimpse into the art and culture of Thailand right before the 20th century. Unfortunately no photos were allowed to be taken here.

Facing Freedom exhibit.

Facing Freedom exhibit.

Facing Freedom
One of my favorite exhibits was called Facing Freedom, which examines eight conflicts over freedom from the 1850s to the 1970s. Most notably to me was the conflict of the farm workers in California, specifically in Delano! A pleasant surprise and treat for me! I really liked this exhibit because it put a laser focus on the different threats to our freedom, whether it be women’s right to vote or Native Americans’ rights, and took a deep dive into each conflict, such as the Pullman Strike of 1894 involving the railroad labor force. A fascinating and educational exhibit!

All that jazz and blues.

All that jazz and blues.

Other stuff
There are other galleries and wings with great permanent exhibits, including Vivian Maier’s Chicago, an extensive photography collection by a nanny whose career spanned 40 years but who spent her after hours taking myriad photographs of her city. A talented street photographer, Maier shot portraits that capture perfectly a nostalgic feel for a bygone generation. Her photographs were not discovered until after her death in 2009 at the age of 83. There were two permanent exhibits on Abraham Lincoln and a traveling exhibit of a rare printed copy of the Emancipation Proclamation signed by Lincoln in 1863.

It’s such a treat to find gems like the Chicago History Museum and learn a lot about what shaped and continues to shape such a wonderful city. The next time you are in town, check out this museum. You’ll come away with stories to share at your next dinner party.

Climb aboard the first-ever 'L' car.

Climb aboard the first-ever ‘L’ car.

Chicago in winter: Return to Wicker Park

I must confess a shameful secret: I love Chicago best in the cold.
– Erik Larson, American author, from The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America

My room with a view during the day, Fairmont Chicago.

My room with a view during the day, Fairmont Chicago.

I had a quick business trip to Chicago this week and luckily the weather cooperated in that it was cold – appropriately so, which made for a festive holiday season – but not frigid and the fog and bit of rain did not create any delays either entering or departing the Windy City. Actually on Wednesday it was in the upper 50s and I was too warm in my toasty coat. But on Thursday it was 34 degrees and windy. I would not have wanted it any other way.

Night view from the 12th floor.

Night view from the 12th floor.

After my harried but delightful and fruitful foray into Chicago’s vintage shop cluster in Wicker Park, I vowed that upon my return I would seek other shops. I didn’t have time to do much research, however, and I enjoyed my time in the hipster neighborhood so much that I didn’t mind going back. It was not unlike returning to visit a friend whose friendship was forged at the first meeting.

Colorful eye candy at Vintage Underground, Wicker Park.

Colorful eye candy at Vintage Underground, Wicker Park.

Dazzling display case after display case....

Dazzling display case after display case….

Vintage Underground: pure poetry, literally
I love poring over the display cases literally dripping with vintage costume and designer-signed jewelry at Vintage Underground (1834 W. North Avenue, Chicago, 60622, 773.252.4559). Upon first blush, one can be overwhelmed by the inventory, but the shop is well organized and most of the pieces are beautiful and of nice quality. Carlos, the owner, was there and after I explained to one of the sales associates that I had talked to him in June, she pulled him away from a business discussion to reintroduce him to me. He remembered me, and I told him that while my blog following is modest, the blog post that was inspired by talking with him back in June has been the most consistently viewed post. We talked about the quote from Cuban national hero and poet Jose Martí that he had shared with me in June. And then Carlos recited in Spanish a beautiful poem by Martí. It was great to see him and his staff, who were just as warm this time around as they were when I first ventured into the shop. I also hopped over a few blocks over to the “other” Vintage Underground shop on N. Milwaukee Avenue, which is a curated vintage boutique-style shop. One word: beautiful.

There no such thing as too much vintage rhinestone.

There no such thing as too much vintage rhinestone.

I Have a White Rose to Tend (Verse XXXIX)
Here’s the poem I believe Carlos recited so beautifully:
I have a white rose to tend
In July as in January;
I give it to the true friend
Who offers his frank hand to me.
And for the cruel one whose blows
Break the heart by which I live,
Thistle nor thorn do I give:
For him, too, I have a white rose.

The freshwater pearls reminded me of Miriam Haskell. An unusual combination of rhinestones and freshwater pearls.

The freshwater pearls reminded me of Miriam Haskell. An unusual combination of rhinestones and freshwater pearls.

And the Spanish translation – truly a Romantic language:
Cultivo Una Rosa Blanca… (Verso XXXIX)
Cultivo una rosa blanca,
En julio como en enero,
Para el amigo sincero
Que me da su mano franca.
Y para el cruel que me arranca
El corazón con que vivo,
Cardo ni oruga cultivo:
Cultivo la rosa blanca.
(Carlos, let me know if I didn’t get the right poem! My Spanish – college Spanish, that is – is rusty, but I remembered colors, the heart, and Carlos’s gesture as he recited the poem, as if he were giving a gift to me, which he did!)

Eskell - a nicely curated shop with warm and friendly staff.

Eskell – a nicely curated shop with warm and friendly staff.

Eskell: supporting local jewelry designers and more
The other shop that I visited last June was Eskell (1509 N. Milwaukee Avenue, Chicago, 60622, 773.486.0830), which is where I discovered the jewelry of Laura Lombardi, a local designer, whose esthetics embrace reclaimed vintage and a modern industrial and architectural sensibility. When I came in on Wednesday, I was warmly greeted by Kelly Whitesell, founder and designer, who guided me through the store’s jewelry collections. Other local designers featured include Cities in Dust and Leah Ball, as well as Eskell’s own line. Other nonlocal designers include In God We Trust (one of my favorites from NYC), House of Harlow (Nicole Richie’s line) (I was smitten with a pair of rhinestone safety-pin earrings), A Peace Treaty, and a few others whose works I admired (but can’t remember their names, which means next time I need to whip out pen and paper to record).

Laura Lombardi necklace - gorgeous.

Laura Lombardi necklace – gorgeous.

As you can see by the pictures, Eskell is a beautiful little shop with a distinct point of view. I was so enamored of the jewelry that I confess I didn’t look at anything else, but next time I will check out the other goods. What I like about Eskell is the warm greeting and personal service you get. Extra points were gained when one of the sales girls remembered me from my June trip and my mention of my blog. And another round of points were given for the adorable dog, whose name I should have asked for but didn’t, sleeping on the sofa.

A Peace Treaty long necklace and sterling silver fan ring giving off Art Deco vibes.

A Peace Treaty long necklace and sterling silver fan ring giving off Art Deco vibes.

Kelly gave some great advice about the next cluster of vintage shops I need to check out when I am in town again – on Chicago Avenue. One thing is for sure, I’ll still be making return trips to Wicker Park and my “regular” local shops. Definitely make a point of spending time in this great neighborhood should you visit Chicago. Following my theme from Tuesday’s blog, shop small, shop local when in Chicago. As for me, I’ll be back!

Just for fun - House of Harlow rhinestone safety pin earrings.

Just for fun – House of Harlow rhinestone safety-pin earrings.

Any shop with a dog who has made itself comfortable is a shop I want to frequent!

Any shop with a dog who has made itself quite comfortable is a shop I want to frequent!