March is National Women’s History Month

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Patty

My idea of feminism is self-determination, and it’s very open-ended: Every woman has the right to become herself, and do whatever she needs to do.
– Ani DiFranco, American singer and songwriter

Cream and black, linen and lace for a beautiful spring day. Vintage handbag from Secondi (Washington, D.C.).

When I first started my lifestyle blog, The Dress at 50, I envisioned it to embody its tagline – “live the creative life.” I still follow that maxim. Striving to live the creative life touches on every aspect of my life – marriage, parenthood, friendship, career, fiction writing, blogging, fashion and interior styling – and my topics have covered that wide range. I’ve also focused on women, regardless of where they are in their lives, and their creative endeavors.

Since the launch, I’ve become fascinated by women entrepreneurs – why and how they got to where they are today with their businesses. Creativity definitely factors into many of their decisions and choices. As I’ve interviewed women whose shops I patronize, I’ve found an interesting theme of going from one career to the one of their calling – hence the category Transitions and Transformations. The one thing I’ve learned from all of these women is to truly follow your heart, taking risks along the way. And for this former non-risk taker, it is a lesson I’m still learning. But their stories are so inspiring, I come away invigorated and ready to welcome opportunities and the chance to open new doors.

Accessorizing creamy lace with a Gorgeous and Green statement reclaimed vintage necklace (Berkeley, CA), End of Century cicada ring (NYC), Alkemie scarab cuff (Los Angeles), and Paz Sintes textile earrings (Spain).

I’ve also realized I want to celebrate women who have done amazing and courageous things in their lives. I have already met two incredible women – very close friends for more than 30 years – whose story will inspire you to stretch your boundaries of giving and living life to the fullest. Peggy and Tenny’s story will be posted this Friday, March 22nd.

March is Women’s History Month. It seems appropriate at this time to reiterate the focus of my lifestyle blog as the celebration of women at any stage of their lives who are living a full, creative life and making a difference in their communities, both local and global. I looked up the provenance of Women’s History Month: In 1987, after being petitioned by the National Women’s History Project, Congress designated the month of March as Women’s History Month. Since then, every year Congress has passed resolutions requesting and authorizing the President to proclaim March as Women’s History Month, which continues to be done.

Mixing linen and lace with carpet-bag floral and textile, reclaimed vintage, and vintage-inspired jewelry.

The 2013 National Women’s History Month theme, Women Inspiring Innovation through Imagination, honors “women who throughout American history have used their intelligence, imagination, sense of wonder, and tenacity to make extraordinary contributions to the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) fields.” Certainly this year, I hope to feature women who have made contributions in this area, and have lived fully and creatively along the way.

My mother – as an immigrant mother who sacrificed her life to ensure that her daughters were participants in the American Dream – was a role model to me for her perseverance and her unconditional love. When I look back at my formative years, I can’t recall other female role models who influenced my life or remember studying in school women in history who made an impact on me. Whatever the reason or reasons, it matters little now. At any age, women can adopt female role models and become role models themselves.

Confidently put on that new dress and be a role model for your kids, your family and friends, and your community. And live the creative, meaningful, and full life!

Transitions and Transformations: Kate Peterson Designs and Adorn & Flourish

Posted on February 22, 2013 by Patty

Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.
– Michel de Montaigne, French Renaissance writer

Kate Peterson arranges beautiful jewelry in their display cases.

When Adorn & Flourish (7027 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, 510.367.8548) opened its doors in May 2012, Proprietor Kate Peterson described the greeting given by the neighborhood as “so receptive, so happy, and welcoming,” which, in turn, describes her artistically appointed shop. Adorn & Flourish features the works of 20 mostly local artists, including Kate Peterson Designs – Kate’s jewelry business – and is home to three other artists who work in studios in the back. Ever evolving, the shop, prompted by requests from customers, will offer classes beginning in March taught by resident artists.

Adorn & Flourish’s inviting storefront in El Cerrito.

Creating a community of artists
This unique shop concept developed over time, with its genesis in Kate’s early and therefore difficult efforts trying to get her jewelry into retail shops around town. At that time, she wished she could just “buy a little piece of property” in the stores to display her work. That opportunity presented itself in the form of an art gallery, where she sold her jewelry in a large shared retail space. When she left the gallery, the “biggest internal message” she came away with was: “It’s not just about me.” Kate wanted other artists involved. She wanted support and a community. Just as important, she wanted to help people. “I needed that [support from a community], but I didn’t get it when I was at that place and had nowhere to go,” she explained. “I wanted to create a friendly environment where we could give people an opportunity to show and sell their art.”

Cozy but nicely appointed and curated.

It wasn’t until she moved into her current location that she was able to transform her vision into reality. Kate pointed out that many artists are shy and introverted and therefore find marketing a challenge. Her business was originally next door, sharing a smaller storefront that was home to a little gallery, but when the larger retail space was available, Adorn & Flourish grew into its current model. Kate calls the five small studio spaces “a bonus.” Artists rent display space for $35 to $40 a month and retain 100 percent of the profit from selling their goods in the shop. “I’m not trying to make a living off of the rent I’m getting at the store,” Peterson said. “It’s really a labor of love.”

This three-strand KPD necklace, a Christmas present from David three years ago, can be worn as three separate necklaces.

In return, the resident artists flourish and offer advice and support in this community, as opposed to, for example, working alone in a garage studio or paying high rent for studio space. One benefit of Kate’s business model is that she doesn’t have to buy or change out inventory, or mark down products to move them out. “I have no overhead as far as products,” she said. The artists change out their wares, weekly or monthly, and bring in new work based on customer response.

Statement earrings pop against a frothy maize-colored ombre skirt or olive mesh-paneled maxi skirt.

Kate has been fortunate to not have to seek out artists and their creations. “They find us by word of mouth,” she said. Though many are local to the Bay Area, a few hail from Southern California or other parts of the state. Kate and her assistant and fellow artist, Marika Munkres, set up a jury process for selecting artists. Their goods can be in the same category, such as jewelry and scarves, as products that are currently being carried in the shop, but they need to be different so as not to compete. Kate and Marika are looking for unique handcrafted goods, quality workmanship, and a style that fits in with Adorn & Flourish’s aesthetics, which Kate describes as “simple, elegant, and contemporary, but also with a rustic edge.”

Peterson relaxes in front of Adorn & Flourish on a sunny winter day.

All artists are subject to a three-month trial period. Some artists have come and gone; either their products didn’t sell or they were expecting greater foot traffic, which Kate admits is lacking on the two blocks of retail nestled in a residential area. While Stockton Avenue doesn’t produce the foot traffic of, say, Solano Avenue in North Berkeley, Kate asserted, “We consider ourselves a destination.” That notion seems to be working for many of the artists who have been selling their work at the shop since the beginning.

Kate never considered opening her shop in Berkeley. Having grown up in Kensington, one town over, and residing in El Cerrito, she was committed to her hometown and looking for a location close to where she lives, in a nice, friendly neighborhood. Kate has relied primarily on word of mouth to position Adorn & Flourish as a destination point; however, she is continually marketing the shop via social media such as Yelp and Facebook, and hosting trunk shows and other events.

The artist at work in her studio.

Peterson as jewelry designer
Kate is thrilled when people tell her Adorn & Flourish is “a wonderful idea” and thank her for being in the neighborhood and helping the community and artists. “It makes me feel good,” she enthused. “I can go home at night and feel that I contributed and participated.” That said, Kate is juggling running her shop, maintaining studios, and creating her line of jewelry, the latter of which has become a monumental challenge. “I would really like to have more time to be more creative and experiment with new things and materials,” she said. “KPD is evolving as well.”

She is concentrating the next two years on expanding her jewelry design business website and etsy presence, and then having Kate Peterson Designs carried in boutiques across the country. “It’s important to get my brand out there and get my jewelry seen online,” she explained, of her strategy and priorities. Meanwhile, most of her creative time is spent designing commissioned pieces. Kate thrives on people appreciating and loving how her jewelry makes them feel and how special it is to them. “I’m blown away by the feedback that I get,” she said, with wonderment. “It’s really amazing and it makes me feel wonderful that I’m doing the right thing.”

Shimmery dupioni blouse in shades of blue and blue-green are the perfect backdrop to pale green gemstones.

“Doing the right thing” was having a “breakthrough moment” realizing that her massage therapy business wasn’t fulfilling and that her retail management career was not defining who she was and wanted to be, and not getting her to where she wanted to go. Kate sought to be true to herself and find, as she describes it, “the thing that feeds my soul while helping others.” She got – and continues to get – a lot of support from her family, especially her father, along her journey. Over time, serendipitous events unfolded, and she “opened” herself up to those opportunities. A self-described part healer and part artist, Kate sought to bring those talents together to join with the community and to support local artists.

Marika Munkres, Peterson's assistant and fellow artist, arranges the center display.

Marika Munkres, Kate’s assistant and fellow artist, arranges the center display.

Adorning and flourishing
It’s only fitting that her shop borrows from Kate Peterson Designs’ tagline – “adorn and flourish.” When you adorn yourself, your body, and your home with something that is meaningful and self-healing – whether it be an image, word, color, symbol, talisman, or gemstone – you flourish and become “the best possible and authentic you,” she explained. Kate has always loved stones and shells, which she collected as a child. “They brought me peace, calmness, and authenticity to myself,” she said. Now, using those stones in her designs, she is creating adornments that her many and loyal clients are proudly wearing. In setting up her shop, Kate is helping the community of local artists and the community at large to flourish.

Adorn your pajama blouse with simple yet elegant jewelry - earrings from Abacus Gallery (Portland, ME), Kate Peterson necklace (El Cerrito, CA), purse from Japan that was given to me by my sister, Lava 9 Lucite ring (Berkeley, CA), and cuff and rings from Sundance (Corte Madera, CA).

The green gemstones of this Kate Peterson necklace draw out the green patterns in this J. Crew pajama-style blouse and fabric crossbody purse from Japan.

Peterson's dog, Belle, is a fixture at Adorn & Flourish.

Kate’s dog, Belle, is a fixture at Adorn & Flourish.

Transitions and Transformations: Pilar Zuniga of Gorgeous and Green

Posted on January 25, 2013 by Patty

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though I have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose
– e.e. cummings, American poet, from “somewhere I have never travelled,gladly beyond”

Pilar setting up floral arrangements for a wedding. (Photo credit: JRotsenphotography.com)

I first discovered Gorgeous and Green (2946 College Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94705, 510.665.7974) after receiving a beautiful set of reclaimed vintage earrings for my 50th birthday last year. The earrings came in a box with the letters “GG” stamped on the lid. The letters were Art Deco in style – the first G backwards, as if mirroring the other G – and on either side was a flourish of Art Deco-style flowers and greenery. Curious, I asked my friend who gave me the present where she got the earrings. She explained that she was on San Pablo Avenue in West Berkeley and came upon a floral shop that sold unique jewelry. Intrigued, I made a little discovery trip, and I’ve been back to Gorgeous and Green many times since.

A colorful storefront display greets visitors to Gorgeous and Green.

The warm and inviting entrance to Gorgeous and Green.

Step inside: A Mix of gorgeous and green goods
The majority of Gorgeous and Green customers are neighbors who live in West Berkeley, although commuters who work in the area also come in during the week. On weekends, the shop is filled with visitors to the East Bay. It’s not uncommon for people to walk in and be unsure of what the shop is selling, admits owner Pilar Zuniga. Her concept is a mix of goods that she and other artisans have created that embody her distinct style – encompassing color, attention to design, vintage feel, sustainability, and the ability to be marketed and displayed in a beautiful and creative way. The gifts in her shop are either one of kind or “embodies the intention of the artist,” she said.

A rustic display of greeting cards from local small presses.

Thus, greetings cards displayed on a white-washed picket-fence gate hung on the wall are made by local, small-scale printing presses. Colorful glassware reclaimed from thrift stores and antique and garage sales dot the shelves throughout the shop. Hand-blown glass by local artisans is re-envisioned as planters for succulents and other plants. Body and bath products are made with natural ingredients and produced in an environmentally friendly manner. Zuniga stocks her shop with goods crafted by artisans whom she researches and finds on the Internet. “I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback,” she said, of her selections. She continues to stock what sells well, but tries to bring in new items.

Reclaimed vintage jewelry dangle from a suspended branch.

She designs and sells her jewelry, which comprise vintage pieces that she incorporates into a new design. “I like to redo jewelry to make it better or to make it into something someone would enjoy,” she explained. “I’ve always been interested in art – painting, drawing, other craftwork, sewing, making jewelry – I got really into reusing reclaimed vintage. That was always a side thing,” she said. Zuniga showcases creations by other jewelry designers as well, most of which are fashioned from reclaimed materials. Gorgeous and Green carries M.E. Moore‘s jewelry, which I discovered in Zuniga’s shop.

Artwork on the wall seems to spill out of this beautiful arrangement.

Roots in sustainability
Sustainability is an important aspect, and Zuniga has ensured that it is expressed in her shop. The San Diego native developed her environmental consciousness when she was a student at UC Berkeley, which opened her up to thinking about the greater good of the world. Not surprisingly, she found her way into the nonprofit sector of public health as a career and remained in northern California because of the area’s “down-to-earth sensibility” and the fact that “everybody is really close.”

When Zuniga was planning her wedding in 2005, she had difficulty finding a sustainable florist, though today there are more environmentally conscious florists. She saw a need to fill and was energized by the concept. Though she enjoyed working with people and in the nonprofit sector, she was losing interest as she moved into management and got behind a desk. Zuniga started her company in 2007 with a focus on floral design and events while still working full-time. She took classes but didn’t go to school for floral design, though she also learned about the industry through her aunt, who was a florist. When she was younger, she helped her aunt with weddings. Zuniga was able to rely on various skills she had learned in her job – designing and evaluating marketing materials. She transformed her garage into her workspace and created gift items specifically for weddings, and her business took off in 2008.

Vintage suitcases hold unique gifts and treasures.

Challenging times
“I really enjoyed the design and artistic piece of it, so I quit my job and opened up a shop,” she said. Zuniga had been eyeing her current storefront and convinced the landlord to rent the space to her in January 2010. Within three weeks, she had opened the first week of February, just in time to take advantage of Valentine’s Day. (In an anniversary of sorts and a repeat of history, Gorgeous and Green moved to its new location, 2946 College Avenue, near Ashby Avenue in Berkeley, this past February from its San Pablo Avenue location.)

Succulent terrariums featuring locally hand-blown glass.

At the onset, Zuniga faced significant financial challenges, which were exacerbated by the recession. She and her husband – who had started his business years before – had saved money, but in the beginning there were months when she made very little money or none at all. Zuniga logged 60 to 80 hours a week, seven days a week. Despite the grueling schedule and unstable earnings, by the end of the first year, when her lease was to be reviewed, she decided to try another two years. The holidays had buoyed her, and she added, with a laugh, “It could only get better from where it started.” That said, Zuniga burnt herself out the second year with her workload and made the strategic decision to hire people to help in the shop. Though staffing is one of the biggest line items in her budget, she believes the benefits outweighed the cost. Despite being “shackled” to the shop, she says the best thing about being a shop owner is flexibility. “I’m a hard worker, but I don’t have to keep going 110 percent all the time,” she said. She allows herself time to power down or take a break.

Wall-mounted terrariums and planters share a cozy corner of the shop with dried pressed flower earrings.

She has since pulled back doing events because of the time and effort involved and competition with larger events companies, and is investing more time showcasing her shop, which she feels needs her support to keep it going. This year she plans on cutting back on the number of events she produces in order to enjoy the few that she plans to take on. The wedding events that were the most memorable for her were the ones in which she was granted creative license. She has done a number of weddings at the Piedmont Community Center, but one in particular enabled her to use brilliant colors and planted materials such as succulents and ferns. “I really enjoyed having the space to do what I wanted to do,” she said. She also did a wedding in Moss Beach, which enabled her to enjoy the drive down the coast and then transform a garden into a vibrant place with washed-up wood that the bride had collected on the beach and had Zuniga incorporate into the floral arrangements.

The shelves are stocked with glassware, jewelry, natural bath and body products, and more goodies.

Taking risks and “throwing up some dust and some dirt”
Zuniga touts the support of her husband as being very significant in her decision to start her own business. When she and her husband first got together, she was the breadwinner while he was trying to get his business going. When his San Francisco-based video production company, Corduroy Media, finally turned and grew, the strain of being the breadwinner eased. “We both have our own businesses now, but I don’t think I would have done it without his business doing well,” she said. When her husband’s business was going strong after its first decade, Zuniga felt it was now her turn.

Gorgeous and Green’s San Pablo location before the shop moved to College Avenue.

She never questioned her decision to open her shop, buoyed with the philosophy that things would take care of themselves. She didn’t worry about being saddled with debt should the business venture not work out. “I’ve been there before and I’ve paid it [debt] off. You just move on and you learn from it,” she said, simply. “It’s just money. But it’s also a chance to be happy and to enjoy what you do and give yourself a chance. You’ll regret it if you don’t [try]. You’ll always regret it.”

If she hadn’t made the change, Zuniga emphasized that she would have missed out on the entire experience – the difficulties and challenges, the enjoyable times, and especially the fact that she overcame so much to get to where she is now. “I continue to do so [overcome adversities], and I surprise myself,” she added. “You just have to put yourself out there.”

Turning serious for a moment, Zuniga noted that society teaches women to eschew being a risk taker. “Part of it is genetic, part of it is maintaining your uterus as a safe space because you want to have children at some point or you might not,” she said, with a laugh. “Evolutionarily, it works that way.” But Zuniga has grown comfortable with embracing risk. “It’s okay to take a risk and not be sure and make big mistakes,” she said. It may not work out, but she says, “At least I jumped on it. I threw up some dust and some dirt, and it will eventually settle.”

Spend a lazy Saturday afternoon checking out boutiques in West Berkeley in a comfy chemise and platform boots made for walking.

A Gorgeous and Green find – a rose necklace made from corn! (Earrings by Carmela Rose and ring from Lava 9, Berkeley, CA)

Close-up of the rose necklace made from corn from Gorgeous and Green.

Transitions and Transformations Profile*: Laura Leventer of Personal Pizazz

Posted on December 21, 2012 by Patty

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.
Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
– Gloria Steinem, American journalist and women’s rights advocate

Laura Leventer, proprietor of Personal Pizazz.

I first met Laura Leventer three years ago at a New Year’s Eve party thrown by a good friend who has known Laura since high school. I was struck by her utter confidence and fashion style – a fusion of classic, vintage and glamour. It was not a surprise to learn that she was proprietor of a clothing store called Personal Pizazz (3048 Claremont Avenue, Berkeley, CA, 94705, 510.420.0704).

What’s interesting to me is that Laura, now 45, was a teacher for 10 years and then spent the following six years as a department chairperson, principal, and district administrator. Though she loved teaching, working in administration proved to be unrewarding, very political and extremely stressful, especially on her family, with her son being very young at the time. The idea of opening her own clothing store for mostly women but also men wasn’t far-fetched, as Laura had always loved fashion and owned a business license for her personal shopping gigs on the side. She had worked in retail in college and gained valuable knowledge about the entire range of retail processes, and attended a couple of shows and made a few connections in her capacity as a personal shopper. Laura took a district-level administrative position to start saving for her big investment. When her father passed away and left her with enough money to add to her savings, she felt comfortable taking the risk and made that life-changing leap.

Purple walls provide a vibrant backdrop to highlight the luxurious clothing and accessories.

Filling the fashion niche in Berkeley
When Laura was an administrator, she wore business suits that many admired for being original, different and the antithesis of the retail-chain business suit. “That was the niche I wanted to fill,” she explained. “That was my original direction when I opened – nice-looking business wear that was functional enough for work but interesting enough so you didn’t feel like you were putting on a boring suit.”

Inviting armoires full of stylish clothes.

Although she has clients who come to her store for that very reason, they are few and far between. Personal Pizazz’s clientele are mostly women 35 and up, although the timeless styles she carries appeal to all ages, such as formal dresses for proms and bar mitzvahs. Laura has found that many women are no longer dressing in business suits and the ones who do, for whatever reasons, are sticking with the retail-chain look. It’s been a challenge to reach out to them. “I’ve had to evolve to who comes in and what people want,” she explained. Berkeley is already home to artistic, flowing, interesting clothing shops. “It’s done; there are tons of that,” she said. There are, however, very few shops that offer fitted clothing. “I have people come in all the time and ask me if this is a vintage shop because the clothing is more classic style,” she said. And with its purple walls, chandeliers, carved sales-register desk, antique armoires and curio cabinets, and velvet dressing-room drapes, the vibe is definitely vintage.

One-woman business
As the sole employee, Laura is at the store six days a week. “It’s just me doing everything,” she said. As such, being organized is extremely important. She does her own accounting and all administrative tasks, which she tries to complete during store hours to keep work and life in balance. That said, her priority is to always be available for her customers. Despite the creation of charts and graphs to identify trends and make forecasts, there’s no logic to traffic flow into her store. “When I unlock the door for business, I never know what to expect,” she said, which is another reason to be organized and to plan ahead.

Tidying up the winter scarves near the Personal Pizazz neon sign before the first customers arrive.

Laura goes to Los Angeles for market week four to five times a year. “Since I’m here six days a week, I’m very organized about what I do,” she said. She flies down Monday morning, attends 20-minute, pre-arranged appointments all day, and flies home that night. The few times she flies back East for appointments with her New York City-based vendors, she takes the Sunday red-eye flight and flies back Monday night. She previews vendors’ digitized line sheets ahead of time, which streamlines her appointments. “I’ve learned to never buy at the show because you will make mistakes,” she said. “You never know if another company will offer similar clothing at a better price or different color.” Laura takes detailed notes and snaps pictures with her iPad, which help her determine what she will order when she returns home. “I am particular and I know what I like,” she said. “I know what works for my customers.”

Laura has learned to always be prepared for the unexpected. Case in point: The ceiling lights died last Thursday, on the day that her store is open until 8PM. While her husband was willing to replace them, the lease calls for professional servicing. “That’s money I didn’t plan on spending, but I don’t have a choice,” she said. Therefore, Laura noted: “Always give yourself wiggle room.” She’s learned from a neighboring business that anything can go wrong and when it does you need to know what to do and whom to call.

Despite the challenges of being a business owner and sole employee, Laura revels in her son’s assessment of her career – indeed, her life: “As my son says, now my job is my hobby and my hobby is my job,” she said.

Personal Pizazz finds – Tocca coat and Asian Eye scarf.

Q&A: In her own words
Q: Describe Personal Pizazz in 10 words or less.
A: Classic, quality clothing with a twist.

Q: What are some of the challenges you’ve encountered?
A: I’ve lived in and near Berkeley my whole life, and I dress the way I dress, but there aren’t that many people who do. Even people who want to, think they can’t because other people don’t. There is pressure to not care about clothing. That’s a constant battle. If it [an article of clothing] makes you happy, then your outlook is better, you feel happy, and in turn you look better.

Q: What’s the best thing about being the proprietor of Personal Pizazz?
A: Not having to answer to anyone else. My previous boss was the school board and I was jumping through hoops. There’s a lot of bureaucracy – forms to fill out, things you have to do. I still have a lot of forms to fill out and things I have to do, but I don’t have to justify or explain it to somebody else.

Personal Pizazz find – Zelda coat.

Q: What advice would you give to women who are looking to make a career transition or transformation?
A: Do your homework. To be honest, I thought I’d be making a lot more profit by now. There are decisions you have to make along the way. You have to create a nest egg. I was saving and saving until I got to the point where I could say, okay, I can go this amount of time without bringing home any money. And I have this much that I can invest and don’t expect to be able to take out because you’re not going to turn a profit quickly. People have to discover you and they have to become faithful. Whatever the business happens to be, you’re going to make mistakes in the beginning until you figure out what your niche is and what’s going to work. You have to have enough exposure so people know you’re there.

Personal Pizazz is located on beautiful, tree-lined Claremont Avenue in Berkeley.

Post script: If you’re a local and this blog has whetted your interest, make your way to Personal Pizazz and let Laura know that you read about her store here. If you’re not a local but find your way to the San Francisco Bay Area, make Personal Pizazz a destination point.

*My Transitions and Transformations profile series chronicle stories of amazing women, not limited to women 50 and above, who have made inspirational and creative transitions or transformations in their lives. The series will run bi-weekly.

Fifteen years later: On becoming a writer

Posted on December 19, 2012 by Patty

Celebrating with glimmering gold.

The highest reward for a person’s toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
– John Ruskin, British art critic

In 1997, when I began researching and then writing my first novel, I could not have imagined that in 2012 I would still be working on the umpteenth draft. If I had known how much time would pass, I might have given up. Thomas Edison was credited as saying, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

The thing is: I did give up.

The first draft was 1,000 pages. It was easier to write when my husband and I didn’t have children and my job was not demanding. My son came, I changed jobs a few times, job demands grew, and sleep deprivation was my companion in the middle of the night when I sat in front of the computer screen, writing articles instead of fiction. I finished another draft when I went into labor with my daughter. In 2006, I was finally done and sent the trimmed-down (at 650 pages) manuscript off to literary agents, only to get rejected by 60 of them. One writer friend exclaimed, “I didn’t even know there were 60 different agents to be rejected by.” The manuscript was too long and there was no market for a novel about Filipino immigrant farmworkers, labor unions and grape strikes, I was told. And I believed them. I also believed that a more talented writer would have made the novel more compelling. I understood that I was not good enough to have made it work against any and all odds.

So I gave up. I put the manuscript away. I stopped reading fiction and book reviews. I didn’t go into bookstores anymore. I did other worthy and necessary things in my life. I had some inkling that I would come back to the writing, maybe to the novel. Every now and then, through the years, my two high school best friends would ask me when I was going to resurrect Fausto, my main character, and his story.

For anyone who has known the passion of creating, who has experienced the ecstasy of getting the emotion or moment right with the precise words in the only order that makes exquisite sense, who has stopped whatever ordinary activity she is doing because she has solved a niggling and bottlenecking problem with a character’s motivations or actions, the desire to create is never abandoned. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that.

When we are ready on the inside, it may still take time for that desire to radiate outward and make us aware of its awakening. Sometimes it takes an event in our lives that turns the key or opens the window, and the desire is unleashed and demanding to be nurtured and given the tools to create anew. I took a week of vacation in April to start the next major revision of the novel, and my happiness was palpable. I did not want to lose it again. Getting stuck on a word or a sentence was a gift, not something to agonize over or dread as a tedious task. Carving out time to reintroduce myself to my characters was a gift.

Gold accessories on gold brocade – my own vintage early 90s tassel earrings and M.E. Moore reclaimed vintage bracelet and necklace.

In May I submitted the manuscript to a local independent book publisher’s annual contest. I had high hopes, but my novel wasn’t chosen. I was disappointed to be sure, but undaunted. Last month, I heard from my undergraduate professor who, along with his partner, is an independent book publisher. I asked him to consider my manuscript, and while he didn’t accept it, he told me that he and his partner “enjoyed it and admired the sometimes quite lyrical prose” and that they “liked the rendering of the setting, at once exotic and universal.” This time I was ecstatic. He was one of the best creative writing professors I’ve ever had, and he gave me the gift of his time and his advice for the next and hopefully last revision. His response – the outside world’s response, so to speak – validated what I’d been feeling inside: I’m getting there, I’m on the right track.

In September I sent the manuscript to the Poets & Writers’ California Writers Exchange contest. Last week, I received an e-mail announcing the winning poet and fiction writer. I honestly did not expect to win, but there was an itch of disappointment. Yesterday, however, I received a letter, letting me know that I was one of 15 finalists whose manuscripts, out of a total of 609 fiction manuscripts, were sent to the fiction judge for his final selection. I was quietly happy. I felt a warmth growing inside of me.

Fifteen years later, this is what I know: In 2006, the novel was too long and I was not a skilled enough writer to make Fausto’s story resonate. I am a much better writer now and the novel is almost there. All these years of toil have made it thus.

A love of mixing textures again – thrifted embroidered purse, faux fur, Frye leather booties, textured tights, and bold jewelry by M.E. Moore.

Welcome to The Dress at 50

Posted on December 8, 2012 by Patty

A new dress doesn’t get you anywhere;
It’s the life you’re living in the dress,
And the sort of life you had lived before,
And what you will do it in later.
– Diana Vreeland, fashion columnist and editor

When I turned 49 in February 2011, my family and I had recently lost our beloved 12-year-old dog Bailey and I began to think about and fear turning 50. I asked myself what it was about reaching this milestone birthday that made me apprehensive. The answer was simple: I had not accomplished what I had imagined for myself when I was in my idealistic 20s. In my fifth decade, I was sure that I would be on my fifth successful novel and my kids would be high school age. I had mapped out my life when I was a senior in high school – go to college, join the Peace Corps, go to a creative writing program and then the usual get a job, get married and have children.

Life has a way of twisting and turning, especially for people who have their lives mapped out quite early. A marriage, a divorce, another marriage, two children, two dogs and a handful of jobs later, I found myself in 2011 wanting to live fully and creatively. The novel that I had started in 1997 – which went through several major revisions, several hundreds of pages, kind and careful eyes of good friends – languished in 2006 when many literary agents said it was too long and not marketable. Creatively speaking, I sat down by the roadside and never got up. But I did not sleepwalk through life. I threw myself into raising my two children, volunteered at their schools – started an enrichment program and helped to raise funds, among other duties – and honed my editing and writing skills in the healthcare information technology industry.

Something was missing, and though I knew it, I needed to wait until I was ready to get up from the roadside. When 50 crept closer, I felt it was time. In 2011 I began to work on the novel again and thought of a lifestyle blog that celebrated creativity in every facet of my life. There were roadblocks along the way, but I slowly made progress. And then a few months before I turned 50, my 85-year-old mother was stricken with pneumonia and on New Year’s Eve we made the painful decision to take her off the ventilator.

I had always imagined handing my first published novel to my father, who appreciated my writing ability and was proud of my college degrees because his education in the Philippines stopped in the second grade, but he passed away in 1995. I began my novel in 1997 as an homage to his and his cousins’ immigrant lives in America. I had hoped to be able to hand this novel in published form to my mother. Instead, her passing lit a fire in me to finally finish my novel and to get that blog up.

The Dress at 50 seeks to embrace Diana Vreeland’s quote. Live fully and creatively. Make the world a better place. Feel good about yourself. Celebrate creation. It’s everywhere – in the way you choose to dress, make your house your home, spend time with your family and friends. It’s how you live your life.

So, here is my interpretation of living the creative life at 50. Every day I hope to share what inspires me.

Monochromatic dressing incorporating different textures and celebrating the color of winter

Wintery adornments, featuring earrings by Carmela Rose and Sundance rings and necklace

Blending different textures and materials in a neutral palette

The Dress at 50

Live the creative, meaningful, and full life

Category Archives: Transitions and Transformations

March is National Women’s History Month

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Transitions and Transformations: Kate Peterson Designs and Adorn & Flourish

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Transitions and Transformations: Pilar Zuniga of Gorgeous and Green

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Transitions and Transformations Profile*: Laura Leventer of Personal Pizazz

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Fifteen years later: On becoming a writer

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Welcome to The Dress at 50

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