Category Archives: Transitions and Transformations

Celebrating women who have made successful transitions or amazing transformations

Rubicon Programs: the movers, shakers, and changemakers

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We help them harness their strengths and dreams to begin the journey to change.
– from Rubicon Programs’ 2013 Annual Report

Rubicon offices in Richmond, CA.

Rubicon’s office in Richmond, CA.

The success of any program or organization relies heavily on the people who make things happen. And for Rubicon Programs, nonprofit provider of integrated housing, training, employment and mental health services (510.235.1516, 2500 Bissell, Richmond, CA 94804), there is no shortage of talented, motivated, and compassionate people. My good friend Jane Fischberg, president and executive director of Rubicon Programs, opened a window for me into her world and her big-hearted colleagues who provide so much support to the disadvantaged and disenfranchised people right here in our local communities.

Porschea gives two thumbs up for the services Rubicon provides for the local communities.

Porschea gives two thumbs up for the services Rubicon provides to the local communities.

Porschea Brown: a ‘bright, shining star’ with a ‘small bit of hope’
Porschea Brown, financial coach at Rubicon, went to college in Washington, DC, and was expecting to stay there, but the Richmond native found her way back home. As a girl, Porschea used to walk by the Rubicon office every day, although she didn’t know anything about the organization. As a young adult and concerned citizen, she began attending city council meetings, in particular the re-entry solutions group meetings, and met Rhody McCoy, director of Rubicon’s Economic Empowerment for Contra Costa County. She even attended these meetings when she came home on school breaks. Impressed by her dedication and commitment to the issues and the community, Rhody, who today calls her “a bright shining star,” invited her to volunteer at Rubicon. By then, she had already researched the nonprofit and likewise was impressed by its programs.

Porschea’s main concern was incarceration rates, particularly in her hometown. She was interested in Richmond’s realignment program for the re-entry population – the population she wanted to work with and for whom Rubicon was providing services. As a financial coach, Porschea provides income support, tax preparation, credit rebuilding, and financial counseling. Although she meets with clients to address their financial issues, oftentimes she is involved with discussions about their health concerns or what’s going on in their homes. “It’s holistic; we don’t just deal with people as it relates to their finances,” she explained. “As my supervisor has taught me – and I can see how there’s truth to it – everything affects your finances.”

Rubicon staff member offers help to a client (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

A Rubicon client comes in for his appointment (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

Porschea’s goal is to become the next Justine Petersen, the late former social worker and pioneer in community reinvestment in St. Louis who helped low- and moderate-income families purchase their homes through partnerships with local banks. “She took this for-profit attitude to work with banks, but the purpose and the goal was to work with a nonprofit and assist low-income people to become self-sufficient,” Porschea explained. Her interest lies in providing resource dissemination around credit issues for marginalized people – being the source for financial services, or, as she described it, “the walking 2-1-1 for nonprofits.”

Being from Richmond, Porschea noted that if she doesn’t personally know the people who come through the doors she knows someone who knows them. “There’s a small bit of hope in me that [tells me] something’s going to turn around for them,” she said. Although recently engaged to her boyfriend who lives in Washington, DC, and anticipating a move back there at some point, Porschea was quick to declare, “I’m not finished here yet.”

Porschea and Rhody are a dynamic duo for Rubicon (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Porschea and Rhody are a dynamic duo for Rubicon.

Rhody McCoy: paying dues through community development
Before joining Rubicon in 2010, Rhody had held a number of positions working on behalf of underserved populations. In San Francisco, he was site manager for a vocational program for at-risk adults. He made a “slight career change,” moving to the City of San Francisco Private Industry Council, where he was a contract specialist, in charge of a health program for African-American men. “I really got excited again about working in the community and having a bigger role than just running a program,” he said. “It was really about community development.”

That work led him to Urban Strategies in Oakland, led by Dr. Garry Mendez, Jr., executive director of the National Trust for the Development of African-American Men and well-renowned for his re-entry program development. Rhody went into San Quentin to work with “lifers,” putting together curricula on how to improve themselves, make use of the skills they learned inside, and develop relationships with community organizations. “It was just so innovative – incarcerated men were concerned about the community and developing systems,” he said. “It really motivated me to do this kind of work.” When Rubicon was looking for a re-entry program manager, Rhody interviewed with Rob Hope, chief program officer, who worked with Dr. Mendez. “We really resonated [with one another] and spoke the same language,” he recalled.

Rhody finds a lot to smile about in his work (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Rhody finds a lot to smile about at Rubicon (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Rhody doesn’t have far to look for what motivates him every day. “I have a lot of dues to pay; I feel I owe a lot of people some things, and it starts with my family, my children, my immediate family, and the community at large,” he said. “I’ve been blessed and privileged, and I had a lot of opportunities – some I’ve taken advantage of and some I didn’t. I have a lot to give back.” His motivation is nurtured by the relationships he has developed and continues to develop with the people who come to Rubicon, and by knowing that the organization and his colleagues are like-minded and have the same goal. “We focus on why we’re here,” he said.

Even when he endures difficult, “gut-wrenching” times in his line of work, Rhody is committed to having fun. “There’s a lot of resiliency in the people who we work with,” he explained. “Regardless of external things, their internal motivation just helps them hit the milestones when they get the support that they need.” Coming out of the recession, Rubicon has put up record numbers of getting people back to work. “The labor market changed significantly,” Rhody pointed out, “but people were still getting jobs due to the resilience of the staff and the people who come through those doors.”

Sarah Williams: celebrating small victories in a ‘very long journey’
Staff attorney Sarah Williams graduated from UC Berkeley School of Law with the desire to work in public interest or social justice after conducting expungement proceedings, getting first-time offenders’ record of criminal conviction dismissed from the state or Federal repository. She came to Rubicon when a former supervisor of hers from the East Bay Community Law Center told her about the nonprofit’s legal services. After working under a school-sponsored grant, Sarah was hired in July 2012 to lead the federally funded Promoting Advances in Paternal Accountability and Success in Work Program (PAPAS Work). What drew her to Rubicon was its model of tying in legal services with its other programs, whereas most legal services organizations are standalone. “I can provide services as part of a team,” she said. “There are a number of people working with one individual – they’re all here.” A client’s coaches for career, parenting, and financial issues are all under one roof, communicating with one another.

Rubicon's Sarah Williams and her dog, Oscar, who is a fixture in her office.

Rubicon’s Sarah Williams and her dog Oscar, who is a fixture in her office.

The re-entry population is difficult to serve, Sarah acknowledges. “It’s a very long journey,” she said. But there are victories to build on. Sarah worked with one determined client who was a driver for Domino’s Pizza but wanted a career. She helped the woman file paperwork to get her probation terminated, her felony reduced to a misdemeanor, and then the misdemeanor expunged. Her client had the support of her probation officer and career coach, and Sarah helped her write her letter to the judge. “She was young and made bad choices,” Sarah explained, “but she has done nothing but good since.” Motivated throughout the process and “setting the bar high” – getting probation terminated early is a difficult feat – Sarah’s client was “thrilled” with the outcome and now feels that she has “a much fairer chance to move on from her mistake.” She has since applied to the Stride Center (1212 Broadway, Oakland, CA 94612, 510.234.1300), a nonprofit social venture working to empower economic self-sufficiency for individuals and communities in the San Francisco Bay Area, with the goal of becoming an IT specialist.

Sarah reviews clients’ California criminal records, or RAP sheets, to determine their eligibility for an expungement down the road. While some may have to endure a few years of probation, she noted that “the promise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel is an incentive [for them] to keep doing what they’re doing.” For clients who have recently been released, the victories are small but important – showing up for workshops, making an appointment with a coach, figuring out transportation to make the appointment, getting the first job. It takes working hard, doing the right things, staying in touch, and more. “I tell them, ‘there’s no magic wand that’s going to make your past go away,'” she said. “People have to live with mistakes they’ve made, but there’s a way to move beyond them. We try to give a message of hope.”

Sarah credits her mother, who was the first in her family to go to college and became a lawyer who represents unions, with instilling in her the belief that “you can do good as a lawyer.” “Growing up seeing her help people so much really made me feel like I can go to law school and it doesn’t have to be all about making money,” Sarah said. “It can be about making a difference in people’s lives – using my education and my privilege in a positive way to make a difference in somebody else’s life.”

Another Rubicon client whom the nonprofit organization was able to help (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Another Rubicon client whom the nonprofit organization was able to help (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Editor’s notes: My profile on my good friend Jane, president and executive director of Rubicon Programs, will be posted Friday, April 4.

If you would like to make a donation to Rubicon Programs, click here.

Rubicon Honors 2014, Rubicon Programs’ annual gala, is set for this Saturday, April 5th, 6pm to 10pm at the Oakland Rotunda, 300 Frank H. Ogawa Plaza in downtown Oakland. Last year, more than 2,000 children in the East Bay were positively impacted by the work Rubicon Programs did with their moms and dads. This year, Rubicon Programs has set a goal of raising $200,000 to change the lives of 2,100 children who are most in need in our shared community. At the gala, come enjoy live music, wine reception, butlered seasonal hors d’oeuvres, sit-down gourmet dinner and dessert, and the live and silent auction. Individual tickets are $225 and a table of 10 is $2,000. You can purchase your tickets here.

Rubicon Programs: supporting and strengthening our local communities

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You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.
– Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, actress, and American Civil Rights Movement activist

Rubicon's headquarters in Richmond, CA.

Rubicon’s headquarters in Richmond, CA.

My friend Jane Fischberg, whom I’ve known for almost 22 years now, and I were discussing charitable giving over lunch back in January. While I knew Jane has been with Rubicon Programs (510.235.1516, 2500 Bissell, Richmond, CA 94804) for the last 17 years – she is president and executive director of the nonprofit provider of integrated housing, training, employment and mental health services – I didn’t know, but should have known, that raising funds is the “primary purpose,” as well as the most challenging aspect, of her job. Jane invited David and me to attend Rubicon Honors 2014, the nonprofit’s annual gala and fundraising event on April 5th at the Oakland Rotunda, which I accepted. When I brought up doing a profile on Jane and her work at Rubicon, we set aside time in March for me to meet her colleagues at their Richmond office. After being honored to hear their stories, I knew there were in fact three profiles to present – one of Jane (to be posted on April 4th) and two of Rubicon itself and the people who are the face of Rubicon (the second one to be posted April 1st).

More than 40 years of serving the community
Rubicon, founded in 1973 in Richmond, CA, was appropriately named, with its provenance being “a decision from which there is no turning back – the beginning of the journey to change.” The nonprofit’s mission is to “prepare very low-income people to achieve financial dependence and to partner with people with mental illness on their journey of recovery.” By offering a comprehensive set of services, which includes job placement, housing, legal services, and financial literacy, and offices in Antioch, Berkeley, Concord, Hayward, and Richmond, Rubicon is able to serve a significant number of people in the hardest-hit communities in the East Bay.

Rubicon was able to help many community members, including this client.

Rubicon was able to help many community members, including this client (photo credit: Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover).

Indeed, from the 2013 Annual Report, Rubicon served 3,400 people last year. After receiving help with interview preparation, resume building, and local employer connections, 657 people – out of 883 people seeking employment – were placed in jobs, earning a collective $17 million. What is even more impressive is that more than a third had been incarcerated at some point in their lives. Nationally recognized, Rubicon is one of only five organizations in the country awarded a special federal grant to help ensure that parents coming out of the criminal justice system can provide financial and emotional support for their children, while staying free of the criminal justice system.

More than 300 families were placed in housing in 2013, receiving help with budget planning, affordable housing connections, and rental application. Eight hundred low-income East Bay residents accessed legal services in the areas of eviction prevention, disability rights, education, and advocacy. Substance abuse recovery, counseling, and medication management services resulted in a decrease of nearly 70 percent of psychiatric crisis visits by Rubicon clients burdened with serious mental illness.

A Rubicon Programs client works with a staff member (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

A Rubicon Programs client works with a staff member (photo credit: Pat Garvey).

Rubicon’s success is due in part to its integrated services delivery model (the other major factor is the staff, but more on that later). People who come to Rubicon – and indeed many of the residents in disadvantaged communities – don’t need just one social service but oftentimes several services across the spectrum. Clients typically fall through the cracks when they’re being referred from one agency offering a single service such as legal services to another organization that only deals with housing, which creates a siloed and alienating experience. The various divisions within Rubicon – Economic Empowerment, Mental Health and Wellness, and Legal Services – work collaboratively, which enables them to work with their clients holistically through one entity and to develop personalized programs for the greatest success and sustainability.

Rickie, "living and loving life clean," at two years of being clean.

Rickie, “living and loving life clean,” at two years of being clean.

Rickie Harris: ‘Begin the journey to change’
Rubicon’s tagline, “Begin the journey to change,” could not be more appropriate for a woman I met who took up Jane’s offer to a conference room full of people at the end of a meeting to talk to me about their Rubicon experience. Rickie Harris, who serves as a substance abuse intern at Rubicon, stepped right up. Rickie had battled drugs and alcohol abuse for 23 years, going in and out of substance abuse treatment programs for two decades. She would stay clean for three years but then go back out, while her mother – whom she gives credit for supporting her though the years – took care of her six children, three boys and three girls, now ages 19 to 28. Rickie kept coming back because her children “were worth it,” but the addiction was overpowering. It wasn’t until she reached a point where she was suffering from the “mental part of the disease” – losing her mind and talking to inanimate objects – that she realized she had to finally get clean and stay clean. But she also realized that while her mother and her children wanted her to stay sober, she had to do it for herself. She was ready to “make the changes and achieve the good” that she saw for herself.

Rickie at 5 years of being clean.

Rickie at 5 years of being clean.

Rickie is painfully aware of the “awful” state of her community, but it also is the source of her determination. “I used to be a problem in the community, but now I’m working diligently to become a solution,” she explained. Sober for more than five and a half years, Rickie completed four of the required certificates for substance abuse case management and dual diagnosis screening from Contra Costa College, with two semesters to go before graduation. She has worked hard, and earning straight A’s and making the Dean’s List without fail since 2010 has kept her motivated. “My mind is still intact,” she said, with pride. “I want more and more.” She will attend the University of California at Berkeley in the fall of 2015 to earn her BA in social work, with bigger sights set on earning her masters and PhD degrees. Rickie vows that she will return to the city where she was born and raised, and make a “powerful impact” for her fellow women and her community.

Editor’s notes: Rubicon Programs Part II will be posted Tuesday, April 1.

If you would like to make a donation to Rubicon Programs, click here.

Rubicon Honors 2014, Rubicon Programs’ annual gala, is set for next Saturday, April 5th, 6pm to 10pm at the Oakland Rotunda, 300 Frank H. Ogawa Plaza in downtown Oakland. Last year, more than 2,000 children in the East Bay were positively impacted by the work Rubicon Programs did with their moms and dads. This year, Rubicon Programs has set a goal of raising $200,000 to change the lives of 2,100 children who are most in need in our shared community. At the gala, come enjoy live music, wine reception, butlered seasonal hors d’oeuvres, sit-down gourmet dinner and dessert, and the live and silent auction. Individual tickets are $225 and a table of 10 is $2,000. You can purchase your tickets here.

Astronauts, writers and turning 52

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Feeling ready to do something doesn’t mean feeling certain you’ll succeed, though of course that’s what you’re hoping to do. Truly being ready means understanding what could go wrong – and having a plan to deal with it . . . Being forced to confront the prospect of failure head-on – to study it, dissect it, tease apart all its components and consequences – really works. After a few years of doing that pretty much daily, you’ve forged the strongest possible armor to defend against fear: hard-won competence.
– Chris Hadfield, from An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth

Susan Ruiz, friend and fellow mom from our elementary school, recommended to me a book she’d read that provided valuable lessons in parenting. An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth was written and published last year by Chris Hadfield, a Canadian astronaut whose viewing of Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon set his life path in motion as a then nine-year-old. His goal was to become an astronaut, even though at the time the Canadian Space Agency did not exist. He forged on at first on faith and then by exploring every opportunity that he faced or mined. I’ve only read 80 pages out of the approximately 280 pages of the book, but I already feel compelled to blog about it because something I had read on the plane on my way to our company’s annual conference this past Sunday struck a chord with me. It was a timely, serendipitous moment.

Philosophy in the clouds.

Philosophy in the clouds.

Acknowledging my stress
I’d finished proofing my manuscript the week before and updated the query letter that I would soon be sending out to literary agents. I’d already sent out the synopsis to a former classmate of mine, awaiting the green light that would allow me to send the entire manuscript to him. I was also getting ready for the conference. And lastly, I was turning 52, which happened yesterday – an event that was going to happen away from my home and my family. You could say I was a little stressed out.

So there I was on the packed airplane, having snagged a coveted window seat, with the book on my lap for uninterrupted hours of reading. By then, I had already acknowledged my stress over the fate of the manuscript. As I lamented to a few friends, in particular my friend, Jack, all these years I had soldiered on to finish the novel and write the best novel I could. Many times what kept me going, when I was despairing that I would never finish it, was the fact that I could beat down that despair and actually finish it. I visualized the moment when I would finish it and celebrate that victorious moment against all odds. Other times, and more often, I just kept going because I couldn’t imagine not going forward after all, not finishing after all.

I am also a control freak. And I relished being in the driver’s seat. I could control finishing it. But once it was done, I was left in that uncomfortable position of having to relinquish control. Now it would be up to a literary agent who may spend a few minutes poring over the query letter, synopsis, and the first few pages of the manuscript, and either get pulled in or not. A sick feeling formed in my gut, again, which I had remembered and resurrected, after forgetting that sensation the last time I had finished a draft and sent it out. It was not unlike the survival-of-the-species mechanism of forgetting intense labor pains in order to procreate again. Once you neared giving birth, you all of a sudden remember the pain from the first labor. The sick feeling was understanding that I would spend years working on something and being in control, only to give it up and let others decide my fate.

More clouds for thinking heady thoughts.

More clouds for thinking heady thoughts.

Words of wisdom: never lose attitude
And then the serendipitous moment occurred. I read a section of Hadfield’s book that put everything I was feeling into perspective:

“Getting to space depends on many variables and circumstances that are entirely beyond an individual astronaut’s control, so it always made sense to me to view space flight as a bonus, not as entitlement. And like any bonus, it would be foolhardy to bank on it. Fortunately, there’s plenty to keep astronauts engaged and enthusiastic about the job…. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t feel it’s a job full of dreams.

“Taking the attitude that I might never get to space – and then, after I did get there, that I might never go back – helped me hold onto that feeling for more than two decades. Because I didn’t hang everything – my sense of self-worth, my happiness, my professional identity – on space flight, I was excited to go to work every single day, even during the 11 years after my second mission when I didn’t fly and was, at one point, told definitively that I never would again (more on that later).

“It sounds strange, probably, but having a pessimistic view of my own prospects helped me love my job. I’d argue it even had a positive effect on my career: because I love learning new things, I volunteered for a lot of extra classes, which bulked up my qualifications, which in turn increased my opportunities at NASA. However, success, to me, never was and still isn’t about lifting off in a rocket (though that sure felt like a great achievement). Success is feeling good about the work you do throughout the long, unheralded journey that may or may not wind up at the launch pad. You can’t view training solely as a stepping stone to something loftier. It’s got to be an end in itself.

“In space flight, ‘attitude’ refers to orientation: which direction your vehicle is pointing relative to the Sun, Earth and other spacecraft. If you lost control of your attitude, two things happen: the vehicle starts to tumble and spin, disorienting everyone on board, and it also strays from its course, which, if you’re short on time or fuel, could mean the difference between life and death. In the Soyuz, for example, we use every cue from every available source – periscope, multiple sensors, the horizon – to monitor our attitude constantly and adjust if necessary. We never want to lose attitude since maintaining attitude is fundamental to success.

“In my experience, something similar is true on Earth. Ultimately, I don’t determine whether I arrive at the desired professional destination. Too many variables are out of my control. There’s really just one thing I can control: my attitude during the journey, which is what keeps me feeling steady and stable, and what keeps me headed in the right direction. So I consciously monitor and correct, if necessary, because losing attitude would be far worse than not achieving my goal.”

My room with a view in Orlando.

My room with a view in Orlando.

Applying wisdom to me
Now I will admit that I was skeptical when I read this section. I thought to myself, “Really? He had wanted to be an astronaut since age nine and I’m to believe that if he’d never gone to space he would have been happy with his life?” I think I even used the word “failure” when I told my friend, Jack, about the section. Granted, I was finishing up my first glass of wine at our company event last night.

I easily transferred his words and situation to my own. Was writing the novel victory enough because it took more than 16 years to finish? Was it enough to feel such a high and to feel empowered and truly happy when I was finding the right word, phrase, or sentence to capture the moment in the novel, to capture what my protagonist was feeling at the time, to capture the arc of the scene or the chapter? Would I feel a failure if a literary agent didn’t love it and fight for it, if a book editor didn’t excitedly shepherd it through the publishing process, if the marketers didn’t ensure its success by backing it with marketing dollars, if reviewers didn’t write glowingly of it in major publications, and if readers didn’t rush to buy it and share with their book clubs?

Years ago, Jack once quoted Hemingway, who said – and I’m paraphrasing and therefore likely butchering the original quote – that he wrote to be read, for what is the use if nobody reads your words? When I was much younger, I used to write but not want to show anybody what I wrote because I was too afraid of what people would think and fearful of criticism. Since then, I’ve written and continue to write, wanting very much for others to read it and get something out of it. That still means a lot to me.

Fortunately, the publishing world has changed dramatically since even late 2005-early 2006, when a version of the novel was rejected so many times. There’s online publishing. There are ways to get read. There are platforms, venues, and channels that upend the old way of being read. So do I need to go through the traditional route? Do I feel the need to face potentially more rejection and punishment? No. But am I going forth expecting such a reaction? Hadfield gave me new eyes into this part of the journey.

I love to write. Period. I know I will have an audience, but the size of the audience is not something I can predict. How do I want to get to the next leg of my journey? Hadfield stares fear in the face because it’s not really fear. For one, if you prepare yourself, you’re not facing fear. You are in control, and whatever the outcome, you will know how to react. And if you love to write and you have been writing for years, you have already led a fulfilling life. And you will continue to lead a fulfilling life.

As I turned 52 yesterday – not with my family but with my good friends and colleagues from work – I had given myself an invaluable, intangible but very real present (as did my friend, Susan!). Happy birthday, indeed.

My friends, or "frolleagues," celebrating my birthday in Orlando!

My friends, or “frolleagues,” celebrating my birthday in Orlando!

Looking forward to 2014

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For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
– T.S. Eliot, poet, dramatist, and literary critic, from Four Quartets

When I was in elementary school, my sister gave me a diary for Christmas one year. I had previously used a notebook and binder paper to record what happened or what I did on days that were worthy of recording. But once I got a real diary, I was spoiled and for several years afterwards I would get a new diary for each year. Soon my entries evolved from one-liners of what I ate or who came to visit to events that made me happy or sad followed by an analysis of why I was happy or sad. I created a tradition in which at the end of the year I would reflect and read what happened that year. I would write about what was memorable and what I learned. And then I would focus on my hopes and dreams for the following year.

A timeless LBD that reminds me of The Great Gatsby and Art Deco.

A timeless LBD that reminds me of The Great Gatsby and Art Deco.

I’ve since abandoned writing a daily diary. I rely on the e-mails that I send to friends as a record of what happened and what I was going through internally. I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions anymore, either. Or at least I don’t formalize them, write them down, and take assessment after a certain period of time has passed in the new year. When I write my holiday e-greeting letter, I do take stock of what I and my family did for the year, and at least in my head I reflect on the year and what goals I had set for myself that were achieved and what goals are yet to be met.

I think about what the New Year promises and what I want to do in the New Year. I could be detailed or I could just throw a blanket statement that covers everything. There’s something really attractive about simplicity, especially when I feel so cluttered with so many things in life right now. So yes, I’m going to make a New Year’s Resolution list this time around, but it’s going to be one that will be easy to achieve. So here goes:

Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago) and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago) and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

Be mindful of the present, the here and now. More often than not, walking Rex in the early mornings is a task that I want to cross off my daily list of things to do as quickly as possible. During the fall, however, I took time to enjoy the turning of the leaves from green to deep reds and vibrant golds and oranges. I enjoyed the Christmas decorations on neighbors’ lawns and trees. It was a crazy busy month of December, but I made sure to enjoy our decked-out halls by, for example, bringing the laptop down to the living room to enjoy the fire and smell the tree while I worked. It kept the spirit in me. And I want to continue that mindfulness.

Get my novel out there, in whatever form and through whatever channel in which it was meant to be. I will try just a few literary agents this time around, but when I set out to finish A Village in the Fields last year, I had already come up with a plan to get it up quickly on Amazon, per the path a few colleagues from work have taken. Stay tuned.

Keep writing, read more. I’m looking forward to resuming research for my second novel, which I had abandoned back in 2006, and doing character sketches and plot drafts. I also look forward to revisiting old short stories that wise old eyes are now looking at anew and revising them, as well as revisiting old short story ideas and perhaps resurrecting them. Most importantly, I look forward to carving out more time to read – the single thing that makes a writer better.

Textures in the form of faux fur and velveteen, and gold accents.

Textures in the form of faux fur and velveteen, and gold accents.

Write more profiles for my blog. One thing that suffered a little as work overtook me this past fall to the end of the year was not having the time to interview amazing women for my blog. I have a backlog of women to interview, and I really hope to carve out time to return to this part of my blog. Stay tuned.

Take better care of my body. I cannot ignore the creaks in the knees as I walk down the stairs in the morning or the pain in my thumb joint, which I fear is arthritis and not carpal tunnel syndrome. Yes, I am getting older and with it comes aches and pains. But if I eat right, get some sleep – let me repeat that to myself again, get more sleep – and add greater variety to my exercise routine, some of those afflictions should be alleviated. I can’t stop time or growing older, but I can impact the quality of those years and the process.

Scatter joy. On my first trip to Maine perhaps a decade ago in August, my friend, Jack, indulged my request to check out this quaint shop called Flying Pigs, at least I think that’s what the shop was called. I came across a plaque with the words “Scatter joy” that was attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson. I picked it up but put it down. Then at Christmastime that year, Jack sent the plaque to me, and it has been hanging above a door in our library for the last six years. Every once in a while I look up and remember how it came to our house, and it reminds me to do just that – scatter joy.

There is nothing more gratifying than seeing someone I care about smile or laugh or be happy because of something I said or did. It’s infectious and it makes my day. It’s easy to do. Every day. Scatter joy. Happy New Year’s Eve!

Time for a little New Year's Eve celebration!

Time for a little New Year’s Eve celebration!

StoryCorps: Everyone has a story that needs to be told – and recorded

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I think the best stories always end up being about the people rather than the event, which is to say character-driven.
– Stephen King, American author, from On Writing

When my family and I went to the Contemporary Jewish Museum (CJM) (736 Mission Street, 94103, 415.655.7800) in San Francisco for the first time in January, I discovered that it housed a StoryCorps recording studio. I’ve listened to a number of StoryCorps stories on National Public Radio (NPR) through the years, though not as much as I would have liked. Right outside the boxy, industrial hut of a studio, a grouping of ottoman-style chairs invited people to sit and watch animations on a flat-screen TV. The loop of recorded stories included one of the more famous stories – about the couple, Danny and Annie Perasa from Brooklyn and their remarkable love for one another that lasted decades, right up to his passing from cancer. As I quietly sniffled and wiped tears from my cheeks, an older man walked by and commented, “It gets people all the time.” And people’s lives are enriched by such stories.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

After we left CJM, I vowed to talk to my sisters and see if they would be interested in recording memories of our parents as a way of honoring them and preserving our family history. My middle sister declined, which came as no surprise to me – she is a private person. My oldest sister Heidi was excited to participate. Now it was a matter of logistics, as she lived in San Antonio. When she booked her flight for the Christmas holidays months ago, I booked our appointment for StoryCorps.

About StoryCorps
StoryCorps was founded in 2003 by radio producer Dave Isay, with the idea that “everyone has an important story to tell.” One of the largest oral history projects of its kind, StoryCorps, to date, has recorded more than 51,585 interviews. More than 90,440 people have shared their stories. Nearly 35,000 hours of audio have been recorded since 2003. Storytellers are given a free CD of the recording to share as widely as they wish. The recording is then sent to the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress for posterity. Approximately 1 in 200 recordings are edited down to a few minutes and broadcast to millions on the Morning Edition of NPR. Currently, there are three storybooths – Atlanta, Chicago (we saw the signs when we were there this past June), and San Francisco. A mobile recording studio also travels across the country capturing people’s stories, reaching more than 1,700 cities and towns to date.

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

StoryCorps has grown to offer special programs and initiatives. Since 2005, StoryCorps and the National September 11 Memorial & Museum have partnered with the goal of recording at least one story to honor each life that was lost in the September 11, 2001, and February 26, 1993, attacks through its September 11th initiative. StoryCorpsU is an educational, year-long, youth development program for students at high-needs high schools, dedicated to developing students’ identity and social intelligence through the use of StoryCorps broadcasts and animated shorts.

The Military Voices Initiative honors our veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan by recording and sharing their stories. The 18-month National Teachers Initiative honored the stories of public school teachers across the country. Latinos’ stories are preserved, thanks to the Historias Initiative, and The Griot Initiative preserves the rich stories of African-Americans. People with serious illnesses and their families have an opportunity to share their stories through the StoryCorps Legacy. Organizations have worked with StoryCorps on the Memory Loss Initiative, which seeks to preserve the stories of people who have a range of memory loss. And finally, The Alaska Initiative was a six-month program in 2008 and into 2009 that recorded the diverse lives of people living in Alaska.

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Preparing for our storytelling
I had notions of spending a lot of time thinking about what we would say, how we would say it, and how to organize and put our memories in a neat narrative. But, as one friend once told me years ago, “life happens.” Work, school and its extracurricular activities, kid sports, blogging, novel, and the dreary demands of housekeeping sucked up my life as it if were air.

And then suddenly it was a few weeks before Heidi was to fly into the Bay Area. We traded e-mails, disagreed on what specific memories to share. Heidi went onsite and pulled up lists of questions that are meant to draw out one’s stories. We needed to read how this would all play out. You are booked for an hour in the recording booth. After filling out a form, you are introduced to a guide who preps you and monitors the recording. Geraldine was our wonderful guide who put us at ease, as we were quite nervous going into the session and especially once we sat down at this small table and stared at one another – with two sets of microphones intruding. At some point during the recording, I thought to myself, as Geraldine took notes for key searchable words, what a wonderful experience this was for her and all the other guides – to hear amazing stories (that’s the writer in me!) and to come away inspired and richer with every experience shared.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

What we talked about when we talked about our parents
The 40 minutes we were allotted for our free-flowing dialogue went by quickly. There were certain things we wanted to cover. What our strongest memories were of our mom and dad. Dad and his garden. Mom and her steadfast desire to ensure that we lived and prospered under the American Dream through her hard work of picking grapes during the summers and packing oranges in the wintertime. We talked about learning of Dad’s post-traumatic stress syndrome after he had passed away, when our uncle said that he was a happy-go-lucky guy until WWII. Heidi had revealed, for the first time to me, that he had once told her he had seen and done things he didn’t want to talk about again. When our uncle told us about his condition, it explained so much about his eccentric behavior all our lives. We talked about losing Dad on Christmas night in 1995 and the tense Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in 2011 when Mom was in the ICU for two weeks and then the acute-care facility for five weeks.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Our voices wavered, we cried. Yes, we laughed, too. And yes, it became a part of us. We remembered things differently. We talked as if we were 10 and 13 – siblings acting like siblings even at 51 and 54, which is just a fact of nature and family. And then our time was up! Geraldine took our picture and more information. We made donations, had our picture taken with Geraldine, were given a book By Dave Isay of a collection of recorded stories. And then we said goodbye to StoryCorps’ San Francisco home of the last five years.

Your turn
Heidi noticed that the information board behind the counter announced that the StoryCorps recording studio would be closing December 13th, the very next day. We realized just how lucky we were to have made the appointment for that particular day, the evening after Heidi had arrived in town. We were told that StoryCorps would be making an announcement soon to let everyone know where the new location would be and that its new home would remain in San Francisco. That was a relief to hear! So I am letting you all know, my local friends and acquaintances, to book an appointment once the recording studio is set up. We are lucky to have a permanent studio in the Bay Area. Take advantage of its existence, its proximity. For far-flung family, friends, and acquaintances, if you are not near the other recording booths, find out where the mobile booth is headed.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

We all have stories to tell. We have memories and people – family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers – to remember and honor, to make alive again through our words, through our voices. Storytelling is one of the things that I believe makes us human. We have such a rich oral history already, but to have our stories shared with each other at that moment in time, in that tiny booth with microphones and stacks of equipment seen out the corner of our eyes, and for many others to hear later and forever, that is an opportunity and a gift. Come together with family members or friends and record your story. I truly believe everyone should record his or her story for us all to hear. For when we steal away from our busy lives and quietly listen to these stories, our humanity grows evermore. And we find that our community expands to the ends of the earth.

“Tell your story, pass it on.”

Welcome November: ‘in everything, give thanks’

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You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.
– Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer, from The Prophet

When we moved back into our remodeled house in the spring of 2007, I saw a board in a catalog that simply said: “In everything, give thanks.” It ended up gracing our family room wall. Every now and then, I look up to it and I am reminded that we need not remember to give thanks just at Thanksgiving. It’s a daily ritual if we can find that quiet moment for reflection. I was supposed to take this past week off to work on my novel, but too many scheduled meetings and revised deadlines prevented me from asking for the week off. While I was discouraged, I told myself to keep plugging away when I could and everything would be fine. Last week ended with the beginning of a new month, the beginning of November. The end of the week also brought little and big joys, which afforded me moments of gratitude.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and sweat pant style.

Combining leather and vegan leather in a boxy top and track pants.

Revision accepted
The revision that I had to do, the one that I fretted over because I didn’t think I could fit in everything the client wanted? I made an executive decision to include three concepts and no more. Though I had approached this re-do with mental roadblocks and a writer’s block, once I made that decision, it was easy to write. A burden was lifted. I sent it in, and the client liked it. Gone girl. The project and the stress, that is!

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Ready for the Jenny K fundraiser with these accessories: Sundance rings, Lava 9 drop earrings (Berkeley, CA), and Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage sterling silver necklace (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA).

Jenny K fundraiser
This past Saturday was the last day of a week-long fundraiser for my son’s middle school. This is a fundraiser that I started last year with Jen Komaromi, local woman entrepreneur of Jenny K, (6921 Stockton Avenue, El  Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.5350). It culminated with a two-hour wine and cheese event. Our new PTSA vice president provided all the beverages and food, and our energetic and cheerful fundraising chair brought her group of friends to shop. I thank Jen for her generosity in donating proceeds of the sales to our middle school. She has always supported the local schools and the community. And I thank my PTSA colleagues and all the shoppers who came out to support Portola and Jenny K (support your local businesses!). It warmed my heart to be a part of this annual fundraiser.

A Ryan Du Val mural above the storefronts graces Jenny K gift store and Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar.

Jenny K gift shop on the far left hosted the second November Portola Middle School fundraiser. Thanks, Jen!

 

Lunafest planning going well
As part of the Lunafest East Bay Organizing Committee, I am in charge of a new part of the format – coffee and dessert after the screening of the nine short films, by, for and about women. By the end of last week, I had secured two wonderful women entrepreneurs who will be serving their fabulous baked creations. More on this later. But suffice to say, Lunafest on March 8th, at 7:30pm at the El Cerrito High School Performing Arts Theater (540 Ashbury Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.231.1437) is going to be a wonderful evening of engaging, creative short films by women directors (in fact, one of the directors will be at this event) and fundraising for the Breast Cancer Fund and other local groups. Mark your calendars and bring your friends. This is a terrific community event.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I'm all set.

Grab a vintage floral handbag (Secondi, Washington, DC), and I’m all set.

Finis: novel completed
This past Sunday I completed the last major revision of my novel, A Village in the Fields. I started the novel in May 1997. I wrote numerous revisions, removed a major character, cut down from a high of a thousand pages to its current 461 pages. Much has happened in my life since its beginnings – marriage, work, two children, work, home remodel, work, public education volunteerism and advocacy, work, losing my mother, work – with some false starts on thinking it was done when in fact it was not. I’m that much closer now. The last leg of this journey is reading it straight through, from page 1 to page 461, to check the flow, the language, and to fix a few more things. I have never met any of my big self-imposed deadlines (I was supposed to have finished the novel each of the last three years), but I’m hoping to finish the entire manuscript by Thanksgiving. Finishing the last chapter on Sunday afternoon – after waking up to an epiphany about it Saturday morning – was deeply gratifying. And I am ever so grateful to have stuck with it, to have had close friends lend their critical eye and cheer me on, to have been humbled by the rejections back in 2006 and to have found the confidence and perseverance to get up and keep going, and to know what was wrong with it and to fix it. Once I’m completely done with this journey, it begins anew with another journey. And I am more than ready for that next journey, bursting with joy and gratitude.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.

Outfit close-up with a strappy pointy pump with metal accents.