Behold the summer bouquets, Volume 2

I must have flowers, always, and always.
 – Claude Monet, founder of French Impressionist painting

My weekly bouquet for our Portola Middle School auction winner.

My weekly bouquet for our Portola Middle School auction winner.

Up until a few weeks ago, the Bay Area was blessed with sunny skies and warm temperatures this summer. And then I jinxed us. I told someone from out-of-town that we’ve had splendid weather, emphasizing the fact that we’ve had no fog. Sure enough, the day after, the fog rolled in and has made itself comfortable, with no sign of leaving. The sun will peek through by noon, but most days we are shrouded in fog. All this is to say that the dahlia buds are staying tightly bound, waiting for warmth.

Luckily, I have been taking photos of the bouquets each week and can still enjoy their beauty, which I share here. Enjoy! In the meantime, I will say morning prayers for the return of the golden goddess.

Another July bouquet for our auction winner.

Another July bouquet for our auction winner.

Bursting out the vase: My July bouquet for the our Portola Middle School's auction winner.

Bursting out the vase: My July bouquet for Portola Middle School’s auction winner.

Another retro look, channeling Stevie Nicks of the 1970s.

Another retro look, channeling Stevie Nicks of the 1970s. Sheer embroidered tank over a full-length, bias-cut slip, and velveteen jacket snapped up from a consignment shop in Washington, D.C.

Vintage purse (Feathers, Austin, TX), Sundance cuff, vintage Monet earrings (mine from 1991!), End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Full-length slip matches the velveteen jacket’s lining. Accessorized with vintage purse (Feathers, Austin, TX), Sundance cuff, vintage Monet earrings (mine from 1991!), End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Sheer embroidered shell overlays the full-length, bias-cut slip.

Sheer embroidered shell overlays the full-length, bias-cut slip.

A touch of Art Nouveau.

A touch of Art Nouveau.

Nostalgia: You can play it again, Sam, after all

Memory believes before knowing remembers.
– William Faulkner, Nobel Prize-winning American novelist and short story writer, from Light in August

A black-and-white retro outfit.

A black-and-white retro outfit: two-tone vest from Personal Pizazz (Berkeley, CA), wide-legged patterned trousers, and gauzy sheer jacket.

For several months after my mother passed away in the early morning of January 3, 2012, I listened to popular songs from the 1970s on Pandora Radio into the night. I was fully cognizant of what I was doing; I was taking myself back to a time when I was in elementary school and high school, and my parents – though my dad was 55 years old when I was born – were younger, healthier, and full of life. I have a soft spot for many songs from the 70s, but whether I truly liked some of them when they first came out was moot; listening to all of them during that difficult time generated a physical sensation akin to a runner’s high. Priceless few brought me back to near-exact moments in time – running in between the rows of my father’s vegetable garden trying to catch elusive butterflies and helping my mother make lumpia, though my rolls resembled stuffed cigars close to falling apart while hers were tightly wrapped and uniform in size.

I went on the Internet and Googled Louis Prima and Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass, thankful for technology that enabled me to pull up at a moment’s notice a YouTube video of my mother’s favorite instrumentalists. On those February nights, I was transported to Sunday afternoons in the summer when my mom and friends and relatives played rummy or mahjong, while I suffered as the hostess, serving cold drinks and offering waxy Hostess donuts and pastries at the appointed time. My uncles and aunts would tip me, telling me what a good daughter I was. I couldn’t wait to finish serving and escape to the living room to read my Nancy Drew books, but looking back, the sounds of their laughter, the coins being tossed, the mahjong tiles clicking across the tablecloth were soothing in the cocoon that was my childhood world.

Black-and-white foundation accessorized with Sundance necklace, Tiffany mesh earrings and ring, and The Fickle Bag's embellished purse.

Black-and-white foundation accessorized with Sundance necklace, Tiffany mesh earrings and ring, and The Fickle Bag’s embellished purse.

It was of great interest to me, then, a year and a half later, when I read a New York Times article published on July 8th that was shared by my good friend’s daughter on Facebook. “What Is Nostalgia Good For? Quite a Bit, Research Shows” tackles the centuries-old perception that nostalgia is a disorder or a waste of time. Dr. Constantine Sedikides pioneered the study of nostalgia and produced such tools as the Southampton Nostalgia Scale. Sedikides noted that nostalgia makes us “a bit more human.” Researchers have found that “nostalgizing” helps people feel better and makes “life seem more meaningful and death less threatening.”

Just enough sparkle without being overwhelming.

Just enough sparkle without being overwhelming.

Not surprisingly, researchers in the Netherlands found that listening to songs is one of the easiest ways to induce nostalgia and create a physical sensation of warmth. It’s universal that people are transported instantly to a season or often a moment in time when they hear a song from their past. It connects them to that memory. Recent studies also show that people who nostalgize more frequently develop a “healthier sense of self-continuity.” Through his Experimental Existential Social Psychology Lab out of North Dakota State University, Dr. Clay Routledge found that nostalgia “serves a crucial existential function.” The ability to bring forth “cherished experiences” helps to validate that “we are valued people who have meaningful lives.” Interestingly, his research revealed that people who nostalgize on a regular basis “are better at coping with concerns about death.” Of course, the reason I listened to those songs from the ’70s was to find a time and secure a happy memory of my mother that would supplant the last memory I had of her when she took her last breath – after my two sisters and I endured an hour-and-a-half vigil of watching what seemed like her last breath several times over.

Sheer jacket is an easy alternative to a shawl.

A sheer jacket is a unique alternative to a shawl for cool Bay Area summer evenings.

Dr. Erica Hepper, a psychologist at the University of Surrey in England, discovered that nostalgia helps people deal with transitions, which explains why younger people and older people tend to nostalgize at higher levels than people in middle age. It seems to me, however, that in middle age – or the sandwich age, as it’s been coined – we are dealing with just as many transitions – our children growing up and moving out while our parents are growing frailer and some are moving back in with us. It seems to be our current social landscape.

Revisiting the past and concluding that the present can never be as good as the past is a defeatist and destructive form of nostalgia. Revisiting the past to escape the present and future, and being mired in the past is also a waste of one’s time and energy. Rather, we should call forth cherished memories with those we love and have lost, and be grateful to have experienced those times. Somehow it brings us close to them during moments when we feel lost, ungrounded, and empty. The added gift is being able to draw on those memories instantly, by playing the song whenever we want and need it. We can feel the healing power of nostalgia again and again.

A platform sandal lengthens the leg.

A platform sandal lengthens the leg – and eliminates having to hem pants for us shorter ladies!

Plant a tree, have a child, write a book

(Every man should) plant a tree, have a child, and write a book. These all live on after us, insuring a measure of immortality.
– attributed to the Talmud and Jose Martí, Cuban revolutionary and poet

Vintage Underground's owner Carlos showing off his creations.

Vintage Underground’s owner Carlos showing off his creations.

On my last day of vacation in Chicago a few weeks ago, while on my vintage hunt, I met Carlos, the owner of Vintage Underground (1507 N Milwaukee Avenue, 773.384.7880), a shop that carries clothing, accessories, and jewelry dating from the mid-century. He was receptive to me taking pictures of his store for my blog, and when I finished making my way around the huge basement-level shop, he asked me what my blog was about. I told him it was my way of celebrating entering my 50s by living creatively, fully, and meaningfully. When I mentioned having finished my first novel back in 2006, only to be crushed by receiving 60 rejections from literary agents, Carlos scoffed.

Our ginkgo tree, which we planted in our backyard after we got married nearly 15 years ago.

Our ginkgo tree, one of my favorite kind of trees, which we planted in our backyard after David and I got married nearly 15 years ago.

“Sixty?” he repeated. “That’s nothing!” He proceeded to tell me that he would have stopped at 100, if that. “‘Plant a tree, write a book,'” he said. “Ever hear of that?” When I shook my head, he advised me to look up the Buddhist saying on the Internet. [When I came home, I indeed looked it up and found that there is disagreement about its provenance, but most references seem to give the nod to either the Talmud or Cuban revolutionary and poet Jose Martí. The order of the commandments is also varied. Carlos, as you can see, left out the part about having a child and the reason for doing these things.] For Carlos, the purpose of planting a tree and writing a book was not just about immortality but also expressing yourself, taking delight in these activities, and simply being.

Me and my kids, my heart and soul, downtown, along the Chicago River.

My kids – my heart and soul – and me downtown, along the Chicago River.

He showed me a turn-of-the-century handbag that sported two compartments. He had attached watch parts and gears to one side of the handbag. On the inside, he had inserted various things – a lipstick case and a toy gun – in the elastic straps. He also showed me a necklace and cuff he had made especially for a party he was attending. The watch hanging from a thick chain sprouted wings, while watch parts embellished the wide polished sterling silver cuff. All three pieces evoke a Steampunk aesthetic.

When Carlos told me making jewelry was his form of therapy, I laughed. But he was serious. Why pay someone money to listen to you talk about what’s troubling you and then you leave and that’s that? Here in his shop, he can create something beautiful and feel good about it. The act of creation is joyful, soulful, and meaningful. Other people also appreciate and purchase his creations, and he takes pride knowing they are wearing what he has designed. What he creates lives on. Carlos was on to something. And I fully agree with his philosophy on creation.

Leather and lace for summer.

Enjoy life! With cut-out leather and lace for summer (handbag from The Fickle Bag, Berkeley, CA).

Dress comfortably in the summertime, and dress with confidence.

Dress comfortably in the summertime, but more importantly, dress with confidence.

When I came home and found the full reference to the quote, at various times during that day and following days I pondered how it applied to me. Taken literally, I have done all three – we have planted fruitless cherry, ginkgo, and peach trees in our backyard and twin Aristocrat pear trees in our front yard; I have two children; and I’ve written my first novel, though it still needs one more round before I am ready to say that it’s done. But I realize having done all three is not the end of the journey. Our deciduous trees need their leaves to be raked and composted every fall. Their branches need to be pruned. They need watering. Our children, especially as they head into adolescence, will need just as much guidance, albeit with an invisible hand and eye, as when they were toddlers. And writing a book is a life-long process – one in which you get better as you get older and draw from your life experiences and wisdom. And then the next book is an extension, a growth of the first one, a growth of you. I am a better writer with each piece I write, whether fiction or nonfiction; I am a better writer than certainly seven years ago and even two years ago.

Reliving the nostalgic 70s with bell-bottom lace pants and floppy hat.

Be creative in all you do: Reviving the nostalgic 70s with bell-bottom lace pants and floppy hat.

For me, the original saying could not have come at a better time, when I’m going to be spending the next month and a half doing one last revision on my first novel and then figuring out how to set it free out in the world. There can be variations on the theme – plant vegetables or flowers, help birth babies or baby animals, adopt or mentor a child, write and record a song or design a building or paint a painting or choreograph a dance. Plant a tree, have a baby, write a book – such poetic, yet fierce words. Find your variation on a theme. Rejoice in the act. Become “immortal.” Simply be. Fully alive.

Novel almost done.

Novel almost done!

Chicago: Vintage love in Wicker Park

Hipsters: A subculture of men and women typically in their 20’s and 30’s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. The greatest concentrations of hipsters can be found living in the Williamsburg, Wicker Park, and Mission District neighborhoods of major cosmopolitan centers such as New York, Chicago, and San Francisco, respectively.
– The Urban Dictionary

The Vintage Underground beckons patrons to "Come down...it's fun!"

The Vintage Underground beckons patrons to “Come down…it’s fun!”

Our vacation to Chicago would not have been complete, in my estimation, without the thrill of a vintage hunt. I didn’t have time before our trip to conduct research, so I did a quick Internet search of antique and vintage shops while in town, trying to narrow it down to walkable places within the Loop. If I had my way, I would have set aside an entire day, ideally two days, to hop from one vintage shop to another. As is, I only had a precious three hours on our last day in Chicago. My strategy: Curate and find two shops near one another that had stellar reviews. Given my time constraint, I figured I would spend quality time in a couple of places.

Not knowing which neighborhood was my destination, I struck out for W. North Avenue. It took some effort to find the Blue line train, but once I did, I was on my way to the thrill of the hunt. It turns out I was in Wicker Park, a neighborhood described as hipster not only by the Urban Dictionary but by Forbes and Nextdoor.com, which ranked Wicker Park fourth in its Top 10 “Hippest Hipster Neighborhood” in the U.S. And it turns out, as a hipster place, Wicker Park was at the epicenter of vintage shops.

Strands of pearls at Vintage Underground.

Strands of pearls at Vintage Underground.

My first stop was Vintage Underground (1834 W. North Avenue, 773.252.4559), an unassuming basement establishment. When I reached the last step, I was greeted by a friendly young sales assistant who, upon letting her know of my vintage love and blog, happily let me take pictures of the 3,500-foot shop, which housed a dizzying number of mirrored display cases dripping with vintage costume jewelry, ranging from mid-century on up. This was not a vintage basement, it was vintage heaven, like Twentieth Century in Boston.

Display cases are brimming with mid to late 20th century costume jewelry.
Brimming with mid to late 20th century costume jewelry, display cases are organized by color or type of jewelry.

But Vintage Underground had jewelry whose price tags range from very affordable to I’ll just admire longingly from afar. The shop has more than just jewelry. It carries purses, shoes, clothes, and other accessories, but I don’t look at clothes when I’m in a time crunch or when there is so much inventory that I am overwhelmed, as was my case today. I can quickly scan display cases and see what catches my eye. Despite the amount of jewelry on display, they are grouped by type of jewelry – rhinestone, pearls, colored rhinestones, and so on – which enables efficient scanning. I completed my once-over and then honed in for the kill.

Unusual vintage purses are also on display.

Unusual vintage purses are also on display.

I wish I had asked the sales assistant for her name, so I could do a shout out on her behalf by name. She was incredibly helpful and cheerful. I had spied a tall display case with unusual jewelry. It belonged to the owner, Carlos, who fuses steampunk-style parts such as watch gears to vintage or antique jewelry and accessories to create original pieces. The sales assistant showed me gleaming wide silver cuffs with watch parts and a necklace with a silver bullet. Carlos appeared, and I had a great conversation with him – so great that it will be a blog topic on Wednesday! One of the things I love to do in vintage shops is get a feel for the shop and a sense of the owner and/or the people who work there.

Rhinestones, anyone?

Icy rhinestones, anyone?

Carlos and the sales assistant recommended that I check out their sister store, Vintage Underground Boutique (1507 N. Milwaukee Avenue, 773.384.7880), a curated vintage shop styled as a boutique just a few blocks away. The sales assistant was kind enough to escort me there. I loved the boutique concept and enjoyed looking at their jewelry, though I didn’t have time to check out the great selection of dresses. It was back to the Underground, where I settled on two unsigned pieces – an etched sterling silver tiny purse on a long sterling silver chain and an ornate chocker locket. I’m told that both are Victorian, but I’d love verification. I have not been able to find similar pieces online, so if anyone can shed light on these pieces, I’d appreciate help learning more about them. My neighbor, an eBay veteran, thought the chocker was a mourning locket. Regardless of their age, among the many wonderful pieces at Vintage Underground, those two were the ones I kept coming back to, which meant they were coming home with me.

Victorian chocker with locket.

Victorian chocker with locket.

Sterling silver miniature etched purse on a long sterling silver chain.

Sterling silver miniature etched purse on a long sterling silver chain.

While walking back to the Blue Line train station, I retraced my steps to N. Milwaukee Avenue and found Store B Vintage (1472 N. Milwaukee Avenue, 773.772.4296) and Eskell (1509 N. Milwaukee Avenue, 773.486.0830), which were on my original list. I didn’t find anything at Store B Vintage. Eskell was also on my list. This boutique carries contemporary brands and its own line, which is vintage inspired. Happily, I managed to find a couple of pieces of jewelry here by local jewelry designer Laura Lombardi, who was profiled by Refinery29 back in April.

It was time to head back, though I am sure there are probably other vintage or unique shops on this busy street that I didn’t see. As I waited on the platform for my train back, I saw a street faire going on below. Oh to have one more day in Chicago! Under three hours – including subway and walking time – is not adequate time to explore vintage shops in any city – let alone Chicago – but I think I made a pretty good go of it.

Laura Lombardi's necklaces are made from reclaimed vintage brass findings.

Laura Lombardi’s necklaces are made from reclaimed vintage brass findings. The necklace on the right is a vintage locket hung on a six-inch single strand and then attached to the loop that goes around the neck. Both necklaces from Eskell.

The Purple Pig
We finally made it to the Purple Pig, which is downtown, on the Magnificent Mile (500 N. Michigan Avenue, 312.464.1744). Our strategy was to get there right at five, when dinner is served, and we had no problem getting seated at a communal table this time around. The Purple Pig – whose tag line is “cheese, swine & wine” – was voted one of the 10 best new restaurants in America by Bon Appétit Magazine in 2010. We know why! The kids told us they weren’t hungry at all when we were seated, but once we looked at the menu and our waiter answered our questions, suddenly the kids were hungry – and they had no trouble eating.

The Purple Pig is starting to fill up and the servers are whizzing by.

The Purple Pig is starting to fill up with customers and the servers are whizzing by.

We started off with antipasti – Broccoli with Roasted Garlic & Anchovy Vinaigrette and Shaved Brussels Sprouts, Pecorino Noce & Parmigiano Reggiano. Then on to the a la Plancha: Isabella downed her Razor Clams with Oregano, Lemon & Olive Oil, Jacob and I ordered Scallop Spiedini with Chickpea Aioli, and David had the Prosciutto Crusted Cobia with Manila Clams & Sea Beans. David and I shared a bottle of Pasion De Bobal 2010, a Spanish varietal of the Valencia grape. We had to order a plate of cheeses, since it was one of their specialties, and while we were stuffed, we couldn’t pass up the dolci – Grandma D’s Chocolate Cake with Almond & Orange Marmellata and Bread Pudding with Marsala & Citrus. We were very content when we waddled out and we were happy we made it to the Purple Pig. We didn’t have another opportunity to try Fontina Grill, so we’ll have to try the next time we’re in Chicago. It was a great trip, but I have to add – which has become my mantra – I wish I had another day or two.

The Purple Pig is tucked away from N. Michigan Avenue.

The Purple Pig is tucked away off N. Michigan Avenue.

Vintage love: antique document holder necklace

She’s a hypnotist collector
You are a walking antique
– Bob Dylan, American musician and singer-songwriter, from She Belongs To Me

The cut-out patterned back of a retro-inspired jacket from D'Jour Floral.

The cut-out patterned back of a retro-inspired jacket from D’Jour Floral.

Across the street from Fat Apple’s Restaurant in El Cerrito is a store called D’Jour Floral (7512 Fairmount Avenue, El Cerrito, 525.7232). I have never gone in the store, though every time I see it I think to myself, I should check it out. A few weeks ago, after Mother’s Day breakfast, I ventured in for only a few minutes. Nobody else in our family wanted to go inside, so I took a quick inventory and made a mental note to return.

The following Sunday, after meeting my Monday Mom’s group for breakfast at Fat Apple’s, I ventured in again and this time I had the luxury of wandering around the shop. As one neighbor described it, there’s a lot of kitsch. It is a confusing store – floral shop, new vintage-inspired clothing, vintage items, and, okay, a lot of kitsch. But for those of us who love a good vintage hunt, I rolled up my sleeves and examined everything on the walls and in the display cases. That’s when I found Vivian.

Antique sterling silver document holder necklace.

Antique sterling silver document holder necklace.

When I asked to see this unusual sterling silver very thin case, the older woman, who was the owner, said, “Oh, you want to see Vivian.” The name was engraved on the piece. It was lightweight in my palm. It was intricate and in incredible shape (save for two dents in the bottom corners), and it looked like it came from the Victorian era. There are no markings and it is unsigned. The owner told me it was made in the 1880s and was used to store documents. She told me it belonged to a woman who had come through Ellis Island and had kept her important papers inside. I had this romantic vision of this woman coming from some Eastern European country and making her way out West. Do I believe the owner of the store? Perhaps it belonged to a relative of the person who had sold it to the owner and told her this story. I do want to believe it. I went home and looked up on the Internet variations “antique sterling silver document holder necklace,” but I didn’t come up with anything that looked like Vivian. I saw vintage filigree sterling silver scroll document holders that were cylindrical-shaped, but not shaped like a flat compact, which I assumed was likely more common.

Like a lighter, the top or cap is on a hinge.

Like a lighter, the top or cap is on a hinge.

The price was too dear for the piece, but the owner told me she was closing down the store because she couldn’t keep using her retirement money to keep it open. She was planning on discounting everything starting the following week. So I returned the following week, we bargained, and now Vivian is home with me. I continue to search on the Internet, but if any of my vintage-loving friends come across the history of the document holder that looks like Vivian, please share!

My I Love Lucy look: retro jacket on the clearance rack at D'Jour Floral.

My I Love Lucy look: retro jacket on the clearance rack at D’Jour Floral and slim trousers.

Oh, the treasures you’ll find when you least look for it. But you have to be open to opportunities and allow your curiosity to take you to those places you keep telling yourself you don’t have time to seek out. The shop is scheduled to close mid-June. I will go back to get some chandelier crystal pieces that the owner removed from a vintage chandelier. I am intrigued by a WWII Japanese gas mask that is hanging from a rack. It is fascinating, and yes, haunting and dark. So, I ask: How do you style that, or display that? David just merely asks: Why? Indeed!

Mixing vintage, retro-inspired, and contemporary: earrings from a trip to Boston, Anthropologie etched clear bangle, and my mother's ring given to her by her parents.

Mixing vintage, retro-inspired, and contemporary: earrings from a trip to Boston, Anthropologie etched clear bangle, and my mother’s ring given to her by her parents.

Red trousers are a shoo-in to pair with this cut-out jacket, while keeping the accessories clean and simple.

Red trousers are a shoo-in to pair with this cut-out jacket, while keeping the accessories clean and simple.

Jolie’s ‘medical choice’ takeaway: Be an informed, empowered patient

Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.
– Angelina Jolie, American actress, film director, and screenwriter

I'm no Angelina Jolie, but I'll pretend I'm on the red carpet.

I’m no Angelina Jolie, but I’ll pretend I’m on the red carpet.

I don’t hero-worship actors or celebrities. I admire people, regardless of who they are and what they do for a living, who work to make the world a better place to live, whether it is through activism for social justice, environmental protection, or other cause. I do admire famous people who use their visibility and money to those ends because oftentimes their celebrity status highlights causes, issues, and injustices that otherwise would go unnoticed. Ever since Angelina Jolie became involved in human rights issues, first as a United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees Goodwill Ambassador in 2001 and later through her establishment of charitable organizations and her screenwriting and directing, I have been an admirer.

She gave me another reason to admire her. I applaud Jolie’s decision to write an op-ed piece in the New York Times about her decision to have a preventive double mastectomy. As many have commented already, her decision to discuss it openly and write about it so thoughtfully is notable because she is a glamorous actress in an industry that worships youth and beauty and eschews flaws.

There were detractors, as expected. Yes, she could afford the $3,000 BRCA genetic test and have the best medical care in the world for breast reconstruction, whereas many economically disadvantaged women do not have the means. Some in the medical community worry that her revelation will influence women with a history of breast cancer and create a spike in what is already a trend toward mastectomies that aren’t medically necessary for many early-stage breast cancers.

Rain cloud necklace by M.E. Moore (Gorgeous & Green, Berkeley), cuff by Alkemie of Los Angeles, cicada ring by End of Century in NYC, and earrings from Abacus in Portland, Maine.

Rain cloud necklace by M.E. Moore (Gorgeous & Green, Berkeley), cuff by Alkemie of Los Angeles, cicada ring by End of Century in NYC, and earrings from Abacus in Portland, Maine.

But here’s the thing: Jolie made her decision after exploring her options, talking with medical experts and undergoing genetic counseling. She is the empowered, educated patient whom healthcare reform advocates want in a healthcare system that we are trying to transform. This is a topic that I write about a lot in my work. Educated, empowered patients are an important component of healthcare transformation equation. As we shift, slowly but surely, from a fee-for-volume to a fee-for-value reimbursement model (meaning, hospitals and physicians get reimbursed not for how many patients they see, but how many patients they can keep healthy or get to a healthy status), healthcare providers need patients to take more responsibility for their own healthcare. (For that matter, healthcare insurers want that, too, but we all should take responsibility for our own healthcare.) Patients need to see all their options and understand the benefits and risks of every option. I applaud Jolie for emphasizing her careful deliberation. That’s the objectivity that is required. But there’s no denying the personal aspect of cancer. For Jolie, it’s her mother’s lost battle to breast cancer and wanting to be there for her children.

I am in an age group in which the number of women being diagnosed with breast cancer and other cancers rises. I have good friends who have survived it. I have met acquaintances who have survived it. When I first met David back in 1995, his mother underwent a double mastectomy shortly thereafter when she was diagnosed in her early fifties. Her mother and sister had died of breast cancer years earlier, and her niece died years later. In a commentary about Jolie, the chief of the breast service at Sloan-Kettering was quoted as saying that she has tried unsuccessfully to talk women out of having a mastectomy when it was not necessary. It is difficult to dismiss the personal, even in the face of evidence-based medicine. For example, I still have a yearly mammogram despite the differing screening guidelines and especially the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force mammogram guidelines which recommend women begin screening at age 50 and repeat the test every two years. On one level, women will be guided by their personal situation and history. So long as they are educated, they will make thoughtful choices, with ‘choice’ being the operative word for empowerment.

Whether you worry about what harm may come out of Jolie’s revelation, the overarching good is that we continue to have discussions about breast cancer and act on those discussions – how we can prevent it, raise awareness for it, raise money to defeat it, and especially support our family and friends who have to battle it. For all the grandmothers, mothers, sisters, and daughters out there, we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to be brave and to be on the side of light and life.

Post script: Read about another amazing woman who survived breast cancer, Peggy Liou, whom I wrote about at the Dress at 50 here.

Vintage purse from the Fairhaven Antique Mall in Fairhaven, Wash., and Sam Edelman patent pumps complete the outfit.

Vintage purse from the Fairhaven Antique Mall in Fairhaven, Wash., and Sam Edelman patent pumps complete the outfit.