Rest in peace, Nelson Mandela: ‘Let your greatness blossom’

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.
– Nelson Mandela, anti-apartheid activist and former President of South Africa

Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela

When I was attending the University of California at Davis in the early to mid-1980s, anti-apartheid sentiment and calls for the UC system to divest financial support to businesses in South Africa were fervent and widespread among college students and across the UC campuses. These were the political and social realities that were very much a part of my undergraduate years. They helped shape my global views as a young adult. These concerns were a world away but I understood that human rights were fundamental to all. And so leaders like Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela were heroes to e and many of my fellow students.

I didn’t hear about Nelson Mandela’s death until I got home from a short business trip in Chicago last night. I had read about his declining health a few months back and upon reading it I understood, as many did, that his time on earth was coming to an end. The realization was stunning even at that time, even though we know that the inevitable – mortality – is a fact of life. It is truly a time of mourning, but it is also a time of remembering Mandela’s remarkable gifts – courage, forgiveness, and a mighty pen and voice, among many other gifts. It is a time to honor him by embracing those gifts as our own and ensuring that we use those gifts to further his vision of a just world.

What better way to remind ourselves than to remember some of the wise and generous words he gave us:

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death. I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.

I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his kin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than the opposite.

Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity, it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom.

As these next days test the depth of our sadness, remember his words: “Let your greatness blossom.” I am sure that Mandela would not have wanted it any other way: “It always seems impossible, until it’s done.”

Rest in peace, Nelson Mandela (photo by infonubia.com)

Rest in peace, Nelson Mandela (photo by infonubia.com)

 

Shopping small, shopping local

You may say that I am just another outdated old man complaining about progress and the changes of time. But, you see, I have well considered that possibility myself, and am prepared to submit to correction by anybody who cares about a community, who can show me how the world is improved by that community’s dying.
– Wendell Berry, conservationist, farmer, essayist, novelist, professor of English, and poet, from Jayber Crow

This past Saturday was Small Business Saturday, which was started by American Express in 2010 to help give local retailers a boost during the recession. Sandwiched between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Small Business Saturday is a reminder that small businesses are the backbone of our economy. According to the U.S. Small Business Administration, the country’s 28 million small businesses – defined as having fewer than 500 employees – create two out of every three net new private sector jobs. Half of working Americans – some 120 million individuals – either own or work for a small business.

Winter-white sweater, polka-dot skirt with swags, and slouchy soft boots.

Winter-white sweater, polka-dot skirt with swags, and slouchy soft boots.

More than 22 million of small businesses are self-employed with no additional payroll or employees. These businesses are called “nonemployers.” Approximately 75 percent of all U.S. businesses are nonemployer businesses, with 19.4 million nonemployer businesses operating as sole proprietorships. Seven out of 10 new employer firms last at least two years, with half lasting at least five years, a third lasting at least 10 years, and 25 stay in business 15 years or more.

Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Carmela Rose earrings (Jenny K, El Cerrito, CA), Sundance stack of rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Interesting stats. At last year’s Small Business Saturday, nearly 70 million people shopped small in their local communities, comprising an estimated $5.5 billion in sales to independently owned small businesses. It will be interesting to see how this year fairs in terms of warm bodies entering local businesses and spending money. As we all know, buying local is good for the community. According to the American Independent Business Alliance, shopping at independent retailers creates a “multiplier effect” – independent retailers “return more than three times as much money per dollar of sales [to the community] than chain competitors.”

Pretty little things on a felt-pieced sweater.

Pretty little things on a felt-pieced sweater.

While I dedicated much of my Saturday to decking the halls, I took a couple of breaks to “shop small.” As many of you know, I have profiled a number of local women entrepreneurs for my blog. While I couldn’t go to all of their shops on Small Business Saturday, I happily supported two of my favorite local shops – which thankfully are some seven blocks away – lucky me. Jenny K (6921 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.528.5250) and Adorn & Flourish (7027 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, CA 94530, 510.367.8548) are on the same street, a block apart.

Jenny K features earrings by local jewelry designers Carmela Rose (hoops and drops) and Clara Beau (Swarovski crystal drops) against a Caron Miller shawl (Santa Barbara).

Jenny K features earrings by local jewelry designers Carmela Rose (hoops and drops) and Clara Beau (Swarovski crystal drops) against a Caron Miller shawl (Santa Barbara).

Small Business Saturday has come and gone this year, but it doesn’t mean you can’t shop and get through your holiday shopping list. There are so many local businesses offering unique gifts from local artisans. Support them this holiday season and the rest of the year. These wonderful shops are what make El Cerrito a great community.

Adorn & Flourish features rings and hammered bracelets etched with "faith," "love," and "breathe" by Kate Peterson.

Adorn & Flourish features rings and hammered bracelets etched with the soothing words: “faith,” “love,” and “breathe” by Kate Peterson.

On Black Friday, think green

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.
– Thích Nhất Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet, and peace activist, from Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

When I was young, the day after Thanksgiving wasn’t coined Black Friday, but my mother and my two sisters and I would get up early and drive to either Visalia or Bakersfield, the former about 40 minutes away and the latter about an hour away from home, to do our Christmas shopping at the malls. And the day after Christmas, we would go to either town and my sisters and I would spend the Christmas money that our mother gave us on holiday sales. This was a family ritual that I still look back on with fondness. It was a day that we four spent together.

An outfit from three years ago that I still wear: J. Crew velveteen jacket, tank top, Anthropologie skirt, and Ash platform boots. Accessories provide the update, but this outfit is still classic.

An outfit from three years ago that I still wear: J. Crew velveteen jacket, tank top, Anthropologie skirt, and Ash platform boots. Accessories provide the update, including the Stuart Weitzman clutch from Secondo (Washington, DC), but this outfit is still a classic years later and for years to come.

To this day, if I hear the word “sale,” I go into “hunt” mode. And I enjoy shopping. But I no longer associate shopping with the day after Thanksgiving or the day after Christmas. The few times I’ve ventured out both days – most notably after the kids have been born – have left me harried and anxious. They weren’t pleasant experiences like the ones I had with my sisters and my mother. Part of it is having grown older and being more easily overwhelmed with crowds and so many stores.

The update: Carmela Rose earrings, Ayala Bar multi-strand necklace (Contemporary Jewish Museum, San Francisco), and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

The update: Carmela Rose earrings, Ayala Bar multi-strand necklace (Contemporary Jewish Museum, San Francisco), and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Part of it is how we now spend our holidays and want to spend our holidays. The day after Thanksgiving, if we are celebrating in San Diego, we are making the eight-hour drive after a family brunch and our visit. If we are hosting, we are cleaning up after everyone leaves and then pulling down the Christmas decorations from the attic. There is no time for Black Friday shopping, and I’d rather spend that day decorating and listening to all of our Christmas CDs in a 48-hour decorating extravaganza. The kids look forward to it – my daughter is a big advocate of not decorating or even thinking about Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving – and decking the halls has become a cherished family tradition. It warmed my heart to hear both kids say, on our ride home today, how they couldn’t wait to put up the decorations, with my daughter even asking if we could start tonight. That would be a no, if we want to truly enjoy the time decking the halls!

Deep purple, mauves, orange, velveteen, organza, mosaics and glass.

Deep purple, mauves, orange, velveteen, organza, mosaics and glass.

I’m not going to judge the people who are checking off their Christmas lists as they go from sale to sale. I chuckled as I read a text message from my brother-in-law who, along with my sister and the other “crazies,” as he called them, was hitting the 50 percent off sales at the outlets late last night. My sisters and my mother and I never felt harried when we were shopping for presents. We enjoyed our time together, both in the car and in the malls. It’s just that these days I’m enjoying my time with my family doing what we want to be doing. While others are winding down from their Black Friday shopping, we are getting ready for a lot of greenery – as in Noble Fir, holly, and garlands.

Be with your family and enjoy your time together, however you choose to spend it. That’s what the day after Thanksgiving should be all about. After all.

An outfit that will eventually be handed down to my daughter, who will be retro chic. Zero cost, sustainable, and sentimental.

An outfit that will eventually be handed down to my daughter, who will be retro chic. Zero cost, sustainable, and sentimental.

Christmas in the City, coming soon to our house, as we deck the halls this weekend.

Christmas in the City, coming soon to our house, as we deck the halls this weekend.

Road trippin’: San Diego or bust

Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.
– Jack Kerouac, American novelist, writer, poet, and artist who coined the term Beat Generation, from On the Road

My family and I have been anxiously awaiting going down to San Diego this year for Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law and her family and our family have been taking turns hosting this holiday since 2007. It’s a time for my kids to get together with their cousins and see their aunts and uncles, and Noni and Papa. We have taken the entire week off in the past, but weren’t able to this year. I missed the last Thanksgiving in San Diego in 2011; David and the kids drove down the Sunday before. I had too much work, but I had a one-way ticket to fly down on that Wednesday. My mother was stricken with pneumonia the Monday before Thanksgiving and was in the ICU for two weeks before being sent to an acute-care facility for five weeks, after which we relieved her of her pain and said goodbye.

I'm a big believer in comfort on the road, and in fact, my uniform comprises sweat pants and XL sweatshirt and sneakers. But you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time, so long as the separates you choose are soft and not binding.

I’m a big believer in comfort on the road, and in fact, my uniform comprises sweat pants and XL sweatshirt and sneakers. But you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time, so long as the separates you choose are soft and not binding.

Last year was a strange Thanksgiving. We hosted and I was acutely aware of having had lunch at the hospital in Folsom at the previous Thanksgiving and my brother-in-law bringing in Styrofoam boxes of turkey for our dinner. Losing loved ones is hard enough, but when you lose a loved one during the holidays, those holidays are never the same. They’re just different. Last Thanksgiving was difficult, as we hit the one-year anniversary of everything connected to losing my mother.

This year, although I have always been grateful for many things and am mindful of my blessings especially at this time, I feel an urgent sense of thankfulness – for my health and my family and my extended family’s health. David and I are both crazy busy at work, but better than the 180-degree alternative. While he will be bringing work with him on our road trip, I am looking forward to a much-needed respite.

Knit bomber jacket, graphic t-shirt, and stretchy patterned jean are stylish and comfortable.

Knit bomber jacket, graphic t-shirt, and stretchy patterned jeans are stylish and comfortable.

Given that it’s been four years since our entire family has made the Thanksgiving trek to San Diego, we are looking forward to the drive – seriously. We won’t have Rex and his bed tucked in one side of the back seat while the kids are huddled in the middle and other side, although the kids and I agree that we didn’t mind having him with us. He always wanted to come on our trips, though it’s the strange destinations that made him nervous and us ultimately realize that he’s best left at home to be tended to by all our neighbors and to be the good watchdog.

When I was a child, I enjoyed the family drives that we took to visit my dad’s brother, our Papa, and his wife, who stayed back in Los Angeles even after we moved up to Terra Bella when I was very young. There’s something about road tripping that gives me that snuggly, cocoon feeling. David says I never relax until we’re pulling out of the driveway. I check and make sure that we have everything packed, the suitcases, the sleeping bags, the blankets and pillows, the snacks, the books and magazines, the laptop for movies, the laptop for work and writing, the music. Everything we could possibly need in our car.

Left: Lava 9 insect pin (Berkeley, CA), Sundance rings, Carmela Rose earrings. Right: Talbots rings necklace and Kate Peterson stack of rings and necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

Left: Lava 9 insect pin (Berkeley, CA), Sundance rings, Carmela Rose earrings. Right: Talbots rings necklace and Kate Peterson stack of rings and necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

The kids still watch each other’s movie picks. They fight fiercely one moment and then are laughing the next. They have been talking about an observation car game that they played on a previous trip and are looking forward to playing again. These moments are precious. And as they grow older, as we grow older, road tripping for the holidays will become a different experience. One that I am not ready to think about just yet.

We will be driving to Lemoore and staying with David’s brother and his family for the night and then off to finish the last leg of the trip to San Diego. Isabella and David made chocolate chip cookies for my Lunafest meeting and David’s youth baseball meeting last weekend. We squirrelled away 12 cookies for our road trip – three a piece.

We are set. For all our family and friends and everyone else who are traveling this Thanksgiving holiday to be with loved ones, safe travels!

Book spine haiku, volume 7

Clouds now and again
give a soul some respite from
moon-gazing – behold.
– Matsuo Basho, Japanese poet

Another edition of book spine haiku for your Friday. Three haikus, one by my poet friend Laurel Kallenbach, and the last two by me.

My friend, Laurel, submitted this book spine haiku.

My friend, Laurel, submitted this book spine haiku.

My first offering.

My first offering.

My second offering.

My second offering. Note: Houston’s novel is about the Donner Party ordeal in the Sierra Nevadas in 1846.

A "vintage" Corey Lynn Calter open-weave sweater (Calter was at the recent Anthropologie event in Corte Madera last month), velveteen and smocked smokey mauve blouse, and jeans.

A “vintage” Corey Lynn Calter open-weave sweater (Calter was at the recent Anthropologie event in Corte Madera last month), velveteen and smocked smoky mauve blouse, metallic mirrored pointy pumps, and jeans.

Burgundy and mauve accessories: Carmela Rose earrings and necklace, Anthropologie bangle, Sundance rings, and In God We Trust band (NYC).

Burgundy and mauve accessories: Carmela Rose earrings and necklace, Anthropologie bangle, Sundance rings, and In God We Trust band (NYC).

Shades of mauve in different textures.

Shades of mauve in different textures.

Admiration club: Angelina Jolie

To actually feel like you’ve done something good with your life and you’re useful to others is what I was always wanting, and was always looking for.
– Angelina Jolie, American actress, film director, screenwriter, and author

I’m not into the concept of “girl crush.” I’ll use the term in a joking manner, but it’s just not part of my lexicon. I’m more comfortable with saying that I admire certain women. The other day I read an article about Angelina Jolie accepting an honorary Oscar for her humanitarian work at the Governors Awards ceremony in Hollywood this past Saturday. Jolie is one of those famous women who other women either love or late. I for one am a member of her admiration club.

My updated tribute to old-time Hollywood glamour: faux fur, vegan leather skirt, vintage brooch and mesh handbag.

My updated tribute to old-time Hollywood glamour: faux fur, vegan leather skirt, vintage rhinestone earrings, bracelet, and brooch, and vintage Whiting & Davis mesh handbag.

In accepting her award from George Lucas, she remembered her mother, Marcheline Betrand, who was only 56 years old when she died of ovarian cancer. Jolie said of her mother, “She did give me love and confidence, and above all, she was very clear that nothing would mean anything if I didn’t have a life of use to others.” I appreciate this quote because it embodies her spirit of generosity, the largeness of her heart, and a sense of community. It also entreats us to find out how we can help others and discover what our unique gift is so that we may nurture it and share it with the world.

Evoking 1940s glamour with vintage bracelet (The Cleveland Shop, Cleveland, OH), eBay vintage Weiss clip-on earrings, and Sundance ring.

Evoking 1940s glamour with vintage bracelet (The Cleveland Shop, Cleveland, OH), eBay vintage Weiss clip-on earrings, and Sundance ring.

It’s well-known that Jolie’s humanitarian work was inspired by seeing warn-torn Cambodia, where the filming of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) took place. Last Saturday, Jolie told the audience: “It was only when I began to travel that I understood my responsibility to others.” Indeed, once she returned home from making the movie, she became involved with the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees and began visiting refugee camps in international trouble spots. She has gone on more than 40 missions in more than 30 countries for the United Nations Refugee Agency.

Vintage Weiss pin (eBay) nestled in faux fur.

Vintage Weiss pin (eBay) nestled in faux fur. Mix textures with faux fur, metallic mirror pointy pumps, vintage mesh, and vegan leather.

While known for her work in refugee camps, Jolie has also been involved with the Millennium Villages Project, which is run by the Earth Institute at Columbia University, the United Nations Development Programme, and Millennium Promise. The project’s goal is to end extreme poverty, gender and health inequities, and disease through rural development, environmental sustainability, and the building of basic infrastructure.

Sans faux fur: Bejeweled neckline means you don't have to figure out what necklace to wear. A creamy crop top works well with a high-waisted pleated skirt.

Sans faux fur: Bejeweled neckline means you don’t have to figure out what necklace to wear. A creamy crop top is nicely proportioned with a high-waisted pleated skirt.

She had the financial means to buy up land in Cambodia and convert it into a wildlife reserve named after her son Maddox in 2003, later expanding the project in 2006 to become Asia’s first Millennium Village. Jolie has built and funded 10 schools in Cambodia outside of the Village and a care facility for children with HIV. In Ethiopia, she founded a children’s center named after her daughter Zahara that treats children with HIV and tuberculosis. The Global Health Committee runs both children’s centers. The Jolie-Pitt Foundation, established in 2006, funds many of the facilities and projects such as the building of schools, some of which are all-girls schools, in Kenya and Afghanistan.

Vintage rhinestone jewelry is a spot-on match for the blouse's neckline embellishment.

Vintage rhinestone jewelry is a spot-on match for the blouse’s neckline embellishment.

Jolie has lobbied for humanitarian causes, advocating for legislation to protect women and children in developing nations and war-torn regions. Clearly, she has the money and the star power to affect change. But she could easily have not done any of this work or, especially, volunteer her time. Yet she does, and it’s not a fad or a publicity stunt. Jolie is deeply connected to humanity, and it is that dedication and commitment to our most vulnerable fellow human beings and our world that makes me such an ardent admirer of her. Whatever her flaws, I don’t care. She is a role model in matters of the heart. I applaud her big heart and her humanity. Girl crush. Okay, I said it.

A contemplative Angelina Jolie - poised and elegant.

A contemplative Angelina Jolie – poised and elegant.