Alissa Hauser: expanding compassion through The Pollination Project and her life

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I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.
– Mother Teresa, Albanian Roman Catholic nun, humanitarian, and Nobel Peace Prize winner

Alissa Houser, executive director of The Pollination Project, at Cafeina Organic Café in Albany, CA.

Alissa Hauser, executive director of The Pollination Project, at Cafeina Organic Café in Albany, CA.

You could say that both social justice and entrepreneurialism are in Alissa Hauser’s DNA. Raised in New Jersey, the executive director of The Pollination Project grew up with the spirit of volunteerism in her family. When she was young, she stuffed envelopes for local candidates for her politically active parents. After graduating and moving to San Francisco in 1993, she knew she wanted to work in nonprofits. When those organizations didn’t know how to run a business, however, she earned her degree in MBA for nonprofits at the University of San Francisco so she could bring business savvy into the nonprofit world. “My path has always been to be involved in more entrepreneurial, small-growing nonprofits than as part of a cog in a big wheel in a large nonprofit,” said Alissa, who now lives in El Cerrito, CA. “I really like being able to be close to the work we’re doing.”

Her first job out of graduate school was with Resourceful Women [now called Inspired Legacies], which educates and empowers socially responsible women with wealth to use their money as a tool for social change. Alissa then worked with activist and environmentalist Julia Butterfly Hill, whom she helped to develop her body of environmental education through Circle of Life, the organization Hill founded. Circle of Life incubated Engage Network, which develops best practices for engaging people in an issue or cause and consults with large nonprofits on how to engage their members and supporters. One of the programs that Engage Network established was Off the Mat and Into the World, a network of people who do yoga and are engaged in social-change efforts. The project has raised millions of dollars to train leaders and support causes around the world.

Deciding that it was time for a change, Alissa left Engage Network in June 2012. Within days of her exit, Ariel Nessel, who had been a donor for some of the organizations she had run, reached out to her with his idea for The Pollination Project – to give a $1,000 grant a day  to social-change entrepreneurs. “He knew that I liked to start things and build up,” Alissa said. When asked if she could help him set up the foundation, she exclaimed, “I know when something is a ‘yes.’ It was a perfect fit for me.”

Alissa and her husband and son at the Family Block Party, hosted by the Alphabet Rockers, an Oakland, CA-based kids hip-hop band (courtesy of Alissa Houser).

Alissa and her husband and son at the Family Block Party, hosted by the Alphabet Rockers, an Oakland, CA-based kids hip-hop band (courtesy of Alissa Houser).

Spreading more kindness and compassion
Indeed, The Pollination Project’s mission to expand compassion to the planet, people, and animals is closely aligned to Alissa’s philosophy. “What I’m most committed to is creating more kindness and compassion in the world,” she said. “There are so many ways to do it; there are so many ways I have done it. But at the end of the day, I just want to be a person who inspires other people to be nice to one another, no matter who they are or what they’ve done.” In memory of the victims at Sandy Hook, Alissa and one of her friends conducted acts of kindness on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and documented them in an accompanying photo blog. “It was rewarding, but it’s more than just a day,” she countered. “It’s a way of life that I aspire to.”

One important lifestyle decision that Alissa and her husband “deliberately and intentionally” made was to eschew having biological kids and instead adopt through the Contra Costa County foster care system. She and her husband fostered their son, who was seven months at the time, and then adopted him. Alissa is a passionate advocate for the foster care system and the “amazing, heroic people who are in that system raising and caring for kids whom people don’t ever think about.” Through her experience with the system, she has discovered the “profound resiliency” in the children. “Kids want to be awesome; they just want people to give them a chance,” she enthused.

Barn Buddies pairs rescued ponies with foster and adopted kids (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Barn Buddies pairs rescued ponies with foster and adopted kids (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Alissa encourages everybody to consider the children in our communities who are already here and who can flourish under our guidance, love, and creativity, and become the President of the United States, doctors, and lawyers. Stigmatized, foster kids are treated as if they’re “broken and damaged goods, but they’re not,” Alissa adamantly says. “I’m really passionate about that.” In April, The Pollination Project funded a program founded by Rachel Pate and Kathy Lee, who have adopted children into their families. Barn Buddies, an equine-assisted therapy program, serves both foster and adopted children in metro Atlanta by pairing them with rescued ponies. The grant will help to build a barn for the ponies.

Finding your passion and purpose
Alissa firmly believes that everyone is given his or her life to do something with it. “Making a difference doesn’t have to be hard,” she contends. “Be clear about who you are, what you have to offer, and what you want to create in the world – and you can bring that to everything you do.” It’s really that simple, according to Alissa. “I do the work I do in the world, but at the end of the day, I could work at Starbuck’s and still have my life be about being kind and having people be nice and be happy,” she said. “It starts with inner intention.”

A protest against fracking (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

A protest against fracking (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Inner intention to one small step
It may start with inner intention for Alissa and indeed for many of the grantees, but The Pollination Project helps to bring those intentions out into the world. Alissa told me about Tawd Bell and his Divest to Protect project. Tawd is organizing a campaign to get companies and individuals to stop doing business with their local community bank in Columbus, Ohio, unless the bank reneges on its recent pro-fracking investment. “Sometimes, with the issues going on in the world, the big win is made up of a lot of little steps,” she said. “There are so many small, small steps, and the big win is so far off it’s probably not in our generation or our grandchildren’s generation. But you have to take those little steps.”

During the weekly application review, the team questioned whether boycotting one community bank with 200 accounts will make a difference. On the other hand, this bank’s position could be the first of many other local banks’ forays into investments that threaten the environment. “My position is that you have to do something and you have to win something,” Alissa said. And that’s The Pollination Project and Alissa’s philosophy – helping one change-maker, one vision, and one step every day.

Editor’s Note: If you have or someone you know has a project that would be a good candidate for a grant from The Pollination Project, you can access an application here.

The Pollination Project: ‘seeding projects that change the world’

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
– Margaret Mead, American cultural anthropologist

If you had the capacity to give away $1,000 a day for the rest of your life, how would you spend your money? If you’re Ariel (Ari) Nessel, a real-estate redeveloper, peace activist, and yogi, the answer is big-hearted and impactful: Award daily grants to change-makers – individuals who have a vision to change the world with the overarching goal of spreading compassion towards all life – the planet, people, and animals. Ari and his sister-in-law Stephanie Klempner founded and co-founded, respectively, The Pollination Project, a nonprofit committed to funding entrepreneurs – specifically not established nonprofits or organizations – whose projects advocate environmental sustainability, justice, community health and wellness, and social change-oriented arts and culture.

Alissa Houser, executive director of The Pollination Project, at Cafeina Organic Café.

Alissa Hauser, executive director of The Pollination Project, at Cafeina Organic Café.

Funding audacious visions and unreasonable promises
After my friend Pamela Braxton introduced me to executive director Alissa Hauser, we met up at Cafeína Organic Café (1389 Solano Avenue, Albany, CA, 94706, 510.526.6069) in July to talk about The Pollination Project and its amazing grantees and their projects. Guided by Ari and Stephanie, Alissa, who has a history of driving entrepreneurial startups, developed the foundation’s infrastructure from the ground up. She hired a second full-time person in the midst of awarding an initial 50 grants between October and December 2012. The wave of grants created a momentum that pushed up the target date for daily giving from July 2013 to January 1st of this year. As of early July, The Pollination Project has received upwards of 800 applications and funded more than 200 projects.

Organizational partners, outreach teams, and ambassadors help to vet applications, which can number anywhere between 20 and 75 a week. A team of at least six people review and score a weekly docket of applications. While applicants with unanimous support from the team are funded, others are wait-listed and carried over to the next week or applicants are contacted to provide more details or answer questions. Because of the volume, applications are handled within the week. Since the foundation was started, many people and organizations have stepped forward and offered to serve as partners. “That list is always growing,” Alissa said. In recent news, The Pollination Project partnered with the Earth Island Institute’s Brower Youth Awards program to provide funding for some of the top youth environmental leaders around the country.

Filmmaker Carolyn Scott (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Filmmaker Carolyn Scott (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

While topic is important, how the money is used is just as critical. For example, while The Pollination Project has funded documentaries in the past, the money needs to be applied at a particular stage where a thousand dollars can make the most difference, according to Alissa. Documentaries need to have distribution plans, partners, and connections to ensure that the documentary is seen. May grantee Carolyn Scott of San Rafael, CA, is at work on a documentary called Conversations with Unreasonable Women, which profiles four women who are fighting through direct action to save their communities from environmental destruction. Her goal is to “ignite a movement” in which women from around the country come together and implement solutions highlighted in the film in areas where the environment is threatened.

As a result of what they were seeing from applicants, such as requests to pay for their 501c3 nonprofit status, The Pollination Project developed an online resource, which, among other things, provides information such as crowd funding and best practices. The foundation has also become a destination for individual donors looking for projects to fund because of its access to hundreds of startups that most foundations aren’t soliciting or looking at, according to Alissa. “As we evolve, we’re really turning into a platform for others to be able to give in this way,” she said.

Compassion: The Common thread
The grants fund projects that address a wide range of issues, all with the common thread of compassion. Trust me: There are more than 200 – and that number is obviously growing daily – great stories to profile and all worthy of mention. With Ari and Stephanie being long-time animal rights activists, along with partners, team members, and ambassadors, projects focusing on compassion towards animals have been widely funded. Documentary filmmakers and grant recipients highlighted the largest animal rescue in the United States – some 50,000 hens were abandoned in a poultry plant in Turlock, CA. Several Los Angeles-based animal rights groups worked night and day to rescue the starving hens. “When you see something with your own eyes, it shifts your perspective on it,” Alissa said. “This is true about issues around animals because we don’t ever think about where our meat comes from, the animals that we consume – the eggs and dairy products. Most of it comes from profound cruelty and inhumane treatment of animals. Unless you see it, you just don’t know or want to know.”

Linda Beal (middle row, fourth from left) of Kids Five and Over.

Linda Beal (standing, sixth from left) of Kids Five and Over.

Numerous and diverse projects focus on compassion for people. It seems fitting that The Dress at 50 applauds grantee Linda Beal of Portsmouth, NH. Throughout her years of teaching in public schools, Linda observed the financial difficulties of parents who couldn’t support their talented children with instruments for band, shoes for dance lessons, or money to pay for lessons. She recalled a little girl who performed at a school dance recital and persevered in worn ballet slippers that kept falling off her feet. On her 50th birthday, Linda and her friends threw a party and raised money to purchase equipment and pay for lessons for these artistic kids, which was the beginning of the program Linda spearheaded called Kids Five and Over. The program, which also offers mentoring opportunities for the kids, has already gotten local support from volunteers and service organizations.

Shodo Spring expressing her civil disobedience (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Shodo Spring expressing her civil disobedience (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

The Pollination Project funds projects that expand compassion for the planet. Shodo Spring, a 65-year-old grandmother of four, Zen Buddhist priest, and spring grantee, is currently leading a group of supporters on a three-month, 1,300-mile Compassionate Earth Walk, which started in July in Alberta, Canada, and will end in Steele City, NE, in October. Back in 2011, she was arrested for protesting against the Keystone XL Pipeline (see picture at left). The intent of Shodo’s pilgrimage, which marks the route of the pipeline, is to draw attention to the development of the Canadian tar sands and its contribution to global warming and climate change. The Buddhist Peace Fellowship connected Shodo and her Compassionate Earth Walk with The Pollination Project.

Calvin Duncan (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Calvin Duncan (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Beyond the thousand dollars
“It’s about the money, but it’s also not about the money,” Alissa said, of the grants. “It’s about the credibility and recognition.” Many grantees have leveraged their $1,000 to gain momentum for their cause, do more good, and generate more change. Calvin Duncan of New Orleans, who was falsely imprisoned for more than two decades and trained himself to become a paralegal, got help from the Innocence Project to work on his exoneration. While he had gathered the evidence that proved his innocence, it took another eight years to get released. Duncan now trains paralegals to help prisoners with their legal needs and his grant is being used to support other falsely imprisoned inmates to gain access to documents that prove their innocence. To honor his perseverance and hard work, the Open Society Foundations recently awarded Duncan its prestigious Soros Justice Fellowship.

May Shea Penn (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

May Shea Penn (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Several grantees have been lauded by other organizations, including two youngsters whose passionate and tireless work on behalf of animals and the environment is nothing less than inspirational. A February grantee and 13-year-old from Atlanta, Maya Shea Penn not only is a seasoned entrepreneur – she started her eco-fashion website at age 8 – but is also a philanthropist, designer, artist, animator, illustrator, and writer. Her grant, which enabled her to discuss environmental issues in classroom visits using a book she had written and illustrated, is yet another validation for her work. Among her many accolades, Maya won the Black Enterprise Teenpreneur of the Year Award in 2013 and is scheduled to speak at the TEDWomen Conference in San Francisco in December. “She’s one of many who have leveraged the recognition to the next step,” Alissa said.

Thomas Ponce (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Thomas Ponce (courtesy of The Pollination Project).

Thomas Ponce, a 12-year-old animal rights activist from Florida and The Pollination Project’s 100th grantee, created a website called Lobby for Animals, which teaches people how to lobby their congressional leaders about animal rights. Already recognized by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, he was given the Youth Animal Activist Award by the Farm Animal Rights Movement at the 2013 Animal Rights National Conference in Washington, D.C., in July. “The recognition from the grant means so much to them that it’s worth almost more than the money itself,” Alissa said.

“It’s fun to meet people and to see their beauty and vision,” Alissa added. “It’s important and memorable to me that we give people permission to dream about something and then make that dream happen. That’s what I love.”

Editor’s Note: If you have or someone you know has a project that would be a good candidate for a grant from The Pollination Project, you can access an application here.

The Boys of summer: this mom’s uncharted territory

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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
– Erma Bombeck, American humorist

Up until this summer, I felt as if I had done all right as a mom. A few bumps here and there, lessons to be learned for sure, and pleasant surprises along the way to bolster my confidence. But as my son, who turned 13 in June, marches down the path of adolescence, I find myself at a loss and with a distinct disadvantage. Having grown up with two older sisters, I have no reference, no touchstone to guide me during these volatile years. Through their preschool and elementary school years, I have witnessed the vast differences between boys and girls, but male adolescence is foreign to me, which naturally increases my apprehension.

Earlier this summer, upon my suggestion, we went to see The Kings of Summer. He and his friend Sawyer sat several seats behind me and my friend Kelly, Sawyer’s mom, in the theater. I thought it was time to add coming-of-age boy movies to his repertoire. But I also wanted to watch the film to gather clues about how teenaged boys think, what motivates them, what’s on their minds, and so on. Strangely, for the first time, I saw this genre from a different perspective. I absorbed the parents’ words and actions from the boys’ point of view. I cringed in my seat; did I say embarrassing things like those parents did? And did my son react the way the two boys in the film reacted? After we shared our opinions of The Kings of Summer, which was more like pulling teeth on his part, he picked up on my discomfort of the parents’ behavior and later joked that I gave him a rash like the mom did to her son Patrick. I laughed, uncertainly.

Half of Jacob's baseball team after seeing the movie The Way, Way Back.

Half of Jacob’s baseball team after seeing the movie The Way, Way Back.

Today, a group of his friends and baseball teammates and a couple of us moms went to see The Way, Way Back, another coming-of-age summer movie about a 14-year-old boy named Duncan, forced to spend summer vacation with his divorced mom, her boyfriend who clearly doesn’t like him, and the boyfriend’s teenaged daughter who looks down on him for the nerd that he is. Once again, I wondered how our boys assessed the adults, given that most of them, if not all, were flawed. Shy and awkward, Duncan nonetheless fought to find a way and a place to shine. What was poignant to me was how perceptive Duncan was and how he was able to dig deep within to find his voice and his bravery. He really loved his mom; he felt her pain and he wanted to protect her, all the while struggling to gain his independence and establish his point of view. I admit that I swiped at my eyes several times while the credits rolled.

A casual outfit for going to the movies with your kids.

A casual outfit for going to the movies with the kids.

The boys filed out to grab something to eat in the food court outside the movie theater, while we three moms sat in our seats enjoying the soundtrack and trying to find out where the movie was filmed – somewhere in Massachusetts. (There was something very evocative and nostalgic about spending vacation at a summer-house by the beach that made me yearn for such a time and setting.) I was also composing myself in my seat. Deep breaths. I thought about the wide range of emotions my son has displayed these past several months. Misinterpreting a simple question for an interrogation. Snapping back at me. Me coming down hard and using the icy-and-controlled-yet-ready-to-erupt-like-a-volcano voice that my mother used on me – though I use mine sparingly for maximum effect. Tears and retreating to his bedroom without saying goodnight. The awkward hug out of the blue when he isn’t fishing for something. Looks of concern on his face when I’m quiet or unresponsive or tired. The flash of a smile from a mouth full of metal. An eruption of deep-belly laughter around the dinner table. The pensive look on his face, which I observe from afar, undetected, and try to decipher.

I thought to myself as I watched him goof around with his friends at our appointed meeting place after eating and some free time, there’s a Duncan in my son. There’s a Duncan in all of his friends, who are great kids. This whole transition from boy to young man is still uncharted territory for me, and while I recognize that we will continue to face more battles and lose battles and force more tears from one another, seeing this film eased my fears somewhat, made me breathe a little easier, and made my heart swell….swipe, swipe.

Worn and old favorites: Embellished t-shirt, army-green jacket, zebra skirt, and Sundance slippers and hobo handbag, with earrings from art bazaar in NYC, Sundance ring and bands, and In God We Trust double band (NYC).

Old, worn favorites: Embellished t-shirt, army-green jacket, zebra skirt, and Sundance slippers and hobo handbag, with earrings from an art bazaar in NYC, Sundance ring and bands, and In God We Trust double-band ring (NYC).

Appropriate at any age: summer and shorts

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Women may be the one group that grows more radical with age.
– Gloria Steinem, American feminist, journalist, and social and political activist

Matching jacket and shorts in cream and green lace work well with a shirred burnt orange blouse.

Matching jacket and shorts in cream and green lace work well with a shirred burnt orange blouse.

In the past year I’ve read articles about what women of a certain age should not be wearing. One in particular, which I did not save and therefore cannot link to the primary source, quoted an older woman well-respected in the fashion industry – I think she is an influential style maker – proclaimed that older women should not wear shorts. Period. End. of. Discussion. While there are always trends to either follow or break, I firmly believe that comfort comes first.

Imagine you are at a baseball tournament and it is 100-plus degrees in the shade. If you want to wear shorts, you should wear shorts. If you don’t feel comfortable in shorts, that’s fine, but you shouldn’t not wear them just because some fashion rule says you can’t do it after a certain age. In the wintertime, it’s easy to do. When you wear opaque tights and boots, you eliminate the fear of exposing flesh. How do you get around that in the summertime?

A statement necklace and ring are all you need.

A statement necklace and ring are all you need with so much lace.

Bermuda shorts help solve the problem. Inseams three inches or greater are also less intimidating to wear. I don’t actively shop for shorts, but in the past I have come across a pair that is unique either in fabric, texture, or style. Sometimes the inseam is shorter than I’d like, but I overcome that by getting the next size up and letting it sit lower on my waist.

Texture, texture, and more texture: This J. Crew statement necklace reminds me of Miriam Haskell of the 1940s. Lava 9 statement ring (Berkeley, CA) and Sundance rings.

Texture, texture, and more texture: This J. Crew statement necklace reminds me of Miriam Haskell of the 1940s. Lava 9 statement ring (Berkeley, CA) and Sundance rings.

If you’re worried about dreaded exposure of veins, creams from beauty shops can blot out the offending purple and blue lines. Or you can go au natural and everyone else be damned. The point is that there are few small things that you can do to get rid of some of the issues and raise your comfort level for wearing shorts in the summertime.

My vintage 1992 Talbots equestrian-inspired crossbody bag is the perfect accessory for this shorts outfit.

My vintage 1992 Talbots equestrian-inspired crossbody bag is the perfect accessory for this shorts outfit.

For me, the bottom line is a combination of comfort and confidence. Make sure the shorts fit and you can walk and sit with ease. Go about your business and forget that you’re even wearing shorts – unless it’s super hot and you’re glad you wore shorts! Stand tall and walk confidently. Any woman can pull of shorts. After all, we are a radical group.

A retro outfit in bright fuchsia and yellow, with brass jewelry and nude strappy sandals.

A retro outfit in bright fuchsia and yellow, with brass jewelry and nude strappy sandals.

Simple accessories are best when the patterns and colors of your outfit are loud: Sundance cuff and rings, Anthropologie wide ring, and Laura Lombardi reclaimed brass necklace (Eskell, Chicago).

Simple accessories are best when the patterns and colors of your outfit are loud: Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Sundance cuff and rings, Anthropologie wide ring, and Laura Lombardi reclaimed brass necklace (Eskell, Chicago).

Behold the summer bouquets, Volume 2

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I must have flowers, always, and always.
 – Claude Monet, founder of French Impressionist painting

My weekly bouquet for our Portola Middle School auction winner.

My weekly bouquet for our Portola Middle School auction winner.

Up until a few weeks ago, the Bay Area was blessed with sunny skies and warm temperatures this summer. And then I jinxed us. I told someone from out-of-town that we’ve had splendid weather, emphasizing the fact that we’ve had no fog. Sure enough, the day after, the fog rolled in and has made itself comfortable, with no sign of leaving. The sun will peek through by noon, but most days we are shrouded in fog. All this is to say that the dahlia buds are staying tightly bound, waiting for warmth.

Luckily, I have been taking photos of the bouquets each week and can still enjoy their beauty, which I share here. Enjoy! In the meantime, I will say morning prayers for the return of the golden goddess.

Another July bouquet for our auction winner.

Another July bouquet for our auction winner.

Bursting out the vase: My July bouquet for the our Portola Middle School's auction winner.

Bursting out the vase: My July bouquet for Portola Middle School’s auction winner.

Another retro look, channeling Stevie Nicks of the 1970s.

Another retro look, channeling Stevie Nicks of the 1970s. Sheer embroidered tank over a full-length, bias-cut slip, and velveteen jacket snapped up from a consignment shop in Washington, D.C.

Vintage purse (Feathers, Austin, TX), Sundance cuff, vintage Monet earrings (mine from 1991!), End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Full-length slip matches the velveteen jacket’s lining. Accessorized with vintage purse (Feathers, Austin, TX), Sundance cuff, vintage Monet earrings (mine from 1991!), End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Sheer embroidered shell overlays the full-length, bias-cut slip.

Sheer embroidered shell overlays the full-length, bias-cut slip.

A touch of Art Nouveau.

A touch of Art Nouveau.

Nostalgia: You can play it again, Sam, after all

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Memory believes before knowing remembers.
– William Faulkner, Nobel Prize-winning American novelist and short story writer, from Light in August

A black-and-white retro outfit.

A black-and-white retro outfit: two-tone vest from Personal Pizazz (Berkeley, CA), wide-legged patterned trousers, and gauzy sheer jacket.

For several months after my mother passed away in the early morning of January 3, 2012, I listened to popular songs from the 1970s on Pandora Radio into the night. I was fully cognizant of what I was doing; I was taking myself back to a time when I was in elementary school and high school, and my parents – though my dad was 55 years old when I was born – were younger, healthier, and full of life. I have a soft spot for many songs from the 70s, but whether I truly liked some of them when they first came out was moot; listening to all of them during that difficult time generated a physical sensation akin to a runner’s high. Priceless few brought me back to near-exact moments in time – running in between the rows of my father’s vegetable garden trying to catch elusive butterflies and helping my mother make lumpia, though my rolls resembled stuffed cigars close to falling apart while hers were tightly wrapped and uniform in size.

I went on the Internet and Googled Louis Prima and Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass, thankful for technology that enabled me to pull up at a moment’s notice a YouTube video of my mother’s favorite instrumentalists. On those February nights, I was transported to Sunday afternoons in the summer when my mom and friends and relatives played rummy or mahjong, while I suffered as the hostess, serving cold drinks and offering waxy Hostess donuts and pastries at the appointed time. My uncles and aunts would tip me, telling me what a good daughter I was. I couldn’t wait to finish serving and escape to the living room to read my Nancy Drew books, but looking back, the sounds of their laughter, the coins being tossed, the mahjong tiles clicking across the tablecloth were soothing in the cocoon that was my childhood world.

Black-and-white foundation accessorized with Sundance necklace, Tiffany mesh earrings and ring, and The Fickle Bag's embellished purse.

Black-and-white foundation accessorized with Sundance necklace, Tiffany mesh earrings and ring, and The Fickle Bag’s embellished purse.

It was of great interest to me, then, a year and a half later, when I read a New York Times article published on July 8th that was shared by my good friend’s daughter on Facebook. “What Is Nostalgia Good For? Quite a Bit, Research Shows” tackles the centuries-old perception that nostalgia is a disorder or a waste of time. Dr. Constantine Sedikides pioneered the study of nostalgia and produced such tools as the Southampton Nostalgia Scale. Sedikides noted that nostalgia makes us “a bit more human.” Researchers have found that “nostalgizing” helps people feel better and makes “life seem more meaningful and death less threatening.”

Just enough sparkle without being overwhelming.

Just enough sparkle without being overwhelming.

Not surprisingly, researchers in the Netherlands found that listening to songs is one of the easiest ways to induce nostalgia and create a physical sensation of warmth. It’s universal that people are transported instantly to a season or often a moment in time when they hear a song from their past. It connects them to that memory. Recent studies also show that people who nostalgize more frequently develop a “healthier sense of self-continuity.” Through his Experimental Existential Social Psychology Lab out of North Dakota State University, Dr. Clay Routledge found that nostalgia “serves a crucial existential function.” The ability to bring forth “cherished experiences” helps to validate that “we are valued people who have meaningful lives.” Interestingly, his research revealed that people who nostalgize on a regular basis “are better at coping with concerns about death.” Of course, the reason I listened to those songs from the ’70s was to find a time and secure a happy memory of my mother that would supplant the last memory I had of her when she took her last breath – after my two sisters and I endured an hour-and-a-half vigil of watching what seemed like her last breath several times over.

Sheer jacket is an easy alternative to a shawl.

A sheer jacket is a unique alternative to a shawl for cool Bay Area summer evenings.

Dr. Erica Hepper, a psychologist at the University of Surrey in England, discovered that nostalgia helps people deal with transitions, which explains why younger people and older people tend to nostalgize at higher levels than people in middle age. It seems to me, however, that in middle age – or the sandwich age, as it’s been coined – we are dealing with just as many transitions – our children growing up and moving out while our parents are growing frailer and some are moving back in with us. It seems to be our current social landscape.

Revisiting the past and concluding that the present can never be as good as the past is a defeatist and destructive form of nostalgia. Revisiting the past to escape the present and future, and being mired in the past is also a waste of one’s time and energy. Rather, we should call forth cherished memories with those we love and have lost, and be grateful to have experienced those times. Somehow it brings us close to them during moments when we feel lost, ungrounded, and empty. The added gift is being able to draw on those memories instantly, by playing the song whenever we want and need it. We can feel the healing power of nostalgia again and again.

A platform sandal lengthens the leg.

A platform sandal lengthens the leg – and eliminates having to hem pants for us shorter ladies!